Nantoka Naru Sa ~ Chapter 3 - Watashi Kagami
Chapter list:
Chpeter 1 - Egao ga matteru [The smile is waiting]
Chapter 2 - Te wo tsunaide yukou [Let's Walk Holding Hands]
Chapter 3 - Watashi kagami [The mirror of myself]
Coming soon:
Chapter 4 - Special happiness
Chapter 5 - Nichijou revolution
Chapter 6 - Hajimete no asa
Chapter title: Watashi Kagami [A mirror of myself]
Pairing: Kusa/Massu
Gender: mix
Rating: PG-15 (for language)
Author: ivonnemcgruder
Beta: maryagnetha
The morning light woke him up. The air in the room was incredibly stuffy and he realized that it was even hard to breath. Wait, something...somebody...
„Oh god...“ sighed Massu when he finally forced his eyes open and saw the situation. The reality hit him hard. Massu lying on back, naked. Kusano lying across the bed, his chest and hands on top of his friend’s. Naked as well. Massu made an attempt at sitting up. The movement woke the other one up. Kusano just sat up, ran his fingers thru his hair and opened slowly his eyes.
„Oh hell...my head!“ He didn’t even mark that he wasn’t alone in the bed till Massu really sat up.
„Masuda...“ breathed out Kusano when his brain started working. Massu´ s face wrinkled in pain as he sat up, so he rather lay back again and hid his eyes behind his palm. And he thought the pain in his head was the biggest...hm...think twice, ne?
When Kusano watched Massu´s attempt at sitting up, he could say what happened as the last memory of the night cropped up in his mind.
„You must be kidding me.“ whined Kusano as he felt a strong urge to vomit. He darted out of the room as he was and found the bathroom. Massu didn’t feel any better. He just bent the upper part of his body down of the bed and threw up right next to the bed.
Massu rarely swear. But he couldn´t help it this time:
„Oh fuck!“ sighed when he hid his aching eyes behind his hand again.
Yeah...fuck. Indeed.
+++
„Tesshi?“ Massu decided to call Tegoshi.
„Massu, where are you? The rehearsal starts in 5 minutes!“ Massu could hear that the younger one´s lips were curled in upset pout.
„Tesshi...I won´t come today. Please tell it to manager.“
„Are you ok? You sound strange, why aren’t you coming?“
Massu massaged his temples.
„Can we manage it without never-ending questions for today please?“
„Oh my god, where is my Massu? Please, bring him back.“ Tegoshi giggled at the other side of the line. But there was no reaction from Massu.
„Ok Massu, what shall I tell to manager?“
„Make up something.“
„What?? What happened Massu, this is not funny anymore.“
„Think of something, because I can’t lie and you bloody hell know it.“ Massu gritted his teeth.
„Oh...bloody hell? Ok.“
„Thanks.“ Massu sighed in relief. When he was about to hang up he heard Tegoshi’s „But be prepared to explain it to me, I´ll drop at your place after the rehearsal.“
Massu´s day was about cleaning the mess in his room. He felt like if he survived the car accident or something.
Around 2 PM he fell asleep on the couch downstairs. His body refused to stay straight and his eyelids fell close by themselves.
His long peaceful sleep was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Massu checked the clock, he felt like he’d been sleeping for hours. The truth was that he slept only for half an hour.
The doorbell rang again. He forced himself ещ stand up and went to open the door.
„Hi sleepy head.“ Sing-songed Tegoshi and then saw Massu´s condition.
„Your face is green.“
„Thanks, nice to see you as well.“ Murmured Massu and made a step aside to let Tegoshi in.
They sat on the couch.
„Now, really Taka, what happened?“ Tegoshi´s face went serious.
„I don´t know exactly. That´s it.“
„Mouuu, Massu, and you insist that you are not able to lie?“ pouted Tegoshi.
„I´m not lying! I really don´t know what happened, but ask my ass, it´ll let you know.“ Massu was mumbling.
„What? Your ... ass?“ Tegoshi watched his friend’s body closer.
„Why are you sitting like this?“ There was a sign of suspicion in the younger one´s voice.
Massu just stood up and led his friend to his room.
„Oh what the...the smell is horrible!“ shrieked Tegoshi and grabbed his nose.
Yeah...even after 2 hours when the window was fully opened, the scent of sex mixed with the smell of throwing up and spilled alcohol was still hanging in the air.
„What´s that smell???“ asked Tegoshi.
„Alcohol. And I vomited in the morning, unfortunately right on the carpet. I was cleaning it for 2 hours, but the smell is still here.“ Tegoshi had guts to enter the room fully and took a look at the bed.
„And...let me guess what this is.“ He pointed at the dirty sheets. Massu just hang his head down.
„Massu, you...you slept with...Kusano?!“ Tegoshi just remembered the yesterday’s party. The two of them disappeared at the same time, the dirt on the sheets was surely from having sex and since Massu´s body aches down there....there is only one resume.
„And moreover, you don´t remember it???!!!“
„Stop screaming at me, my head is about to explode.“ Pleaded Massu.
They returned downstairs. Tegoshi saw that Massu is really lost right now.
„What happened? I mean, what can you remember?“ asked Tegoshi.
Massu was lying on the right side and his eyes were closed.
„Notti´s life is one big mess right now. He felt bad that he was the only one who couldn´t drink yesterday, so we came here and got ourselves drunk. Then I remember that we were playing AiQ and chuuu and that we kissed and...then everything is fogged and then...darkness.“
„Wow...it sounds like a bad dorama. And what about the morning? Where is Kusano now?“
„We woke up and my body told us exactly what we were doing during the time we can´t remember. Both of us threw up. I don´t know if he vomited because of the alcohol or because of he realized he ...ehm....“
„ I know what you mean.“ Waved Tesshi with his hand in front of his face to shoo the image of two of his friends together.
„But he wasn´t screaming or something. We just dressed up and he left. Like if nothing happened, just the feeling was...odd.“
„And what about you? Shall I call Shoon for you?“ asked Tegoshi with a soft voice and patted Massu´s broad back.
„No need. Right now I just need to sleep and then stretch my body a little so I´ll be able to work normally again.“ There was a light smile on Massu´s face. And Tegoshi knew that his friend wuold be ok. Massu was deadly tired, bud his smile was calm and comfortable. Tegoshi would kill for having his older friend’s character. Kitto daijoubu...
+++
Kusano went home right after he left Massu’s house. His head and stomach felt like after a proper clean-out. Well...his stomach went thru the proper clean-out. But he was surprised that his head wasn’t aching...or that he wasn’t thinking too much about what he just realized he had been doing this night. He felt...unexpectedly he felt light. And free of all those things which’d been bothering his mind for the past month. He just felt incredibly tired right now.
When he entered his home, he found his oldest sister sleeping and surrounded with tissues. He waited for the anger to come. His sister often fell in depression and he was always pissed off. He felt like screaming: „It’s all your fault! You slept with this bustard, now take what you deserve.“
But today...how come none of those bad feelings are coming? He just patted his sister‘s hair and turned off the baby-sitter‘s walkie-talkie. He went upstairs and found the baby, found Yuuki chan sleeping. He carefully took the baby in his arms and took it into his room. He lay down on his bed and in a couple of minutes he fell asleep hugging the baby next to him.
And as the time went, he realized he suddenly did’t mind that much sharing the room with his two younger sisters. Well...of course he would still prefer to have his own, but...after that night, he wasn‘t angry anymore. He knew that it was probably because he was finally able to share his feelings with somebody. That he could scream all his anger and self-pity out. He was more than ok with this. He was able to laugh with juniors in dressing room again. It was the „old“ Notti again.
But...what bothered him more and more was the night after they got drunk. He didn’t remember almost anything. They had sex. He knew it. When he accidentally met Massu in the hallways of Jimusho, he felt the dull pain in his abdomen. He wanted to ask his body: „Is this lust? Why do I feel this when I see him, you remember everything, that means that you loved what you felt while being with him?“ Then his brain told him: „No way, are you gay or something??“ Once Massu called him. He left the phone ringing.... Once, he tried to call Massu, Massu didn’t pick up.
The more they avoided each other the more Kusano started to fall in those pathetic depressing moods again. When he saw the couple in street kissing, he was about to scream. Once, when his mood fell on the level 0, he left school earlier.
When he reached the door of his room, he heard his sister giggling. What? Isn’t she supposed to be in school? And then, he heard some boy’s voice talking. And then, he heard his sister saying. No...and again. And again. He burst into room and grabbed this boy by the collar of his school uniform.
„What the fuck are you doing here?! Get out!“ he punched this boy in the face and kicked him out of their house. His hands were trembling and he found his sister lying still on her bed crying hard. The anger overwhelmed Kusano once again:
„What are you doing!?? Are you crazy?? Taking some boy home, flirting and then trying to say NO?“ His sister started to sob even more. He took her trembling body in his arms and tried to help her calm down.
„Hush...shhh...can you tell me what happened?“
„He---h---he will leave me i...if...if don’t....“ she tried to make a sentence but her voice failed.
„have sex with him? What the fuck, Aiko? Are you dumb?“
„B-but I...I lov..love him.“
„He’s brat, you know? You don’t know what love is, do you??! The love is about wanting to see each other... more and more, laughing together, spending precious time together, talking and SEX? In love it doesn’t mat....“ Kusano stoped in the middle of sentence. He remembered the day he was waiting for Massu to call him whole day, home alone... he remembered the time when Massu told him that jogging with him is always the best time of his day.
„You think that...sex is the last bonus of...of relationship?“ his sister scanned him.
„Yeah...the feeling when you are just...together, that’s what counts.“ Kusano was gazing in nowhere and then he told her in a hurry:
„Aiko, I....I have to go somewhere right now, wait home for nee-chan, ok?“ The girl just nodded.
+++
He realized that what happened between him and Massu...sex doesn’t matter, does it? Both of them love the time they are spending together running on the road. Why did they stop? Because of...they had sex they don’t even remember?
„Massu?“ he burst into News changing room. All NewS members were here. They stared at him.
„Notti, what happened?“ Yamapi was the first to speak up.
„I just...Massu, can I talk to you? It won’t take more than one minute, I promise.“ When they closed the door behind themselves, Notti asked right away:
„Massu...wanna go jogging today?“ his heart was pounding crazily. Massu just smiled softly:
„Of course.“
***
Ok girls. I have no time for writing nowdays, so I’m always dreaming about this story when I’m for example on my way home. I’m dreaming so long that ... then I realized I can’t possibly wrote all of those ideas down, so the chapter at the end is something totally different I would like it to be. I hope you’ll like it thought.
I hope that you can imagine how those two are feeling now. Please, in comment, write me how you understand this story. Thanks <3