Revolution Secret Santa 2014

Jan 08, 2015 05:52



This is my nbc_revolution Secret Santa 2014 gift for mercscilla. It's a combination of a few of her pairings and prompts: AU, Miles/Charlie, Ben-Charlie-Miles, and the Lana Del Rey lyrics for Born to Die. Assume that everything leading up to the season 1 finale happened, except for Riles and Jarlie. And since I'm apparently overfond of this scenario, Miles and Charlie are the only ones who made it out of the tower.

Dear mercscilla, sorry to keep you waiting until the very last minute. Writing this was much harder than I thought it would be. No one's read this yet, so any mistakes are entirely my fault.


you and I, we were born to die. Miles/Charlie, with cameo appearances by Ben. 2,330 words. Rated R. Charlie POV. The only sure thing in life.

The storm catches them by surprise: the sky is cloudless and then it isn't, the wind picking up and throwing dirt and pine needles in their eyes. Miles grabs her arm and they run (she doesn't want to, she's had enough of running but he's holding on so tight she knows she'll bruise), he pulls her after him and they run, they stumble, they run.

The break in the trees is as sudden as the change in the weather, the forest ending as if it had never been, the ground under their feet taking a sharp downward turn and then they're sliding down it, gravity tugging them along with the same urgency of Miles' grip on her. The swooping feeling in her stomach is an unwelcome reminder that she's still alive.

There's a number of abandoned cars on the road at the bottom of the hill. Their boots hit the cracked asphalt and Miles aims them towards a station wagon that looks like it used to be painted red but now is the color of old blood, all rust and dust. The backseat door creaks louder than the rush of wind and her own breath in her ears and he's pushing her inside, he's scrambling in after her and the bulk of their backpacks and weapons makes it an awkward fit but it's shelter, the first drops of rain have yet to fall and they're dry, they're safe for the time being.

Safe, she thinks. There's never been such a thing. It's a lie, a made-up word intended for children and fools.

Miles clambers over to the front seat and for long moments neither of them speaks. Charlie stares into space, only half hearing the muted sounds of the wind, the swish and rustle of whatever Miles is doing. The windows are too dirty to see outside.

"Snap out of it," he says. His tone is commanding enough that she looks at him. "Anything we can use there at the back?"

Rain is pitter-pattering on the roof of the car. There are smudge tracks running down the windows now. Charlie turns to check the rear; it's empty and stained with something that she doesn't want to look at for too long.

"Nothing," she says. She turns to the window nearest her, follows the swelling rivulets with her fingertips. "Must have been a while since it rained here."

Her mind wanders again. When she looks at Miles she finds him leaning back against his backpack with his eyes closed.

"Get comfortable," he says, as if he can see her anyway. "Who knows how long we'll have to stay in here."

Charlie sighs. She moves in her seat and takes her backpack off, unbuckles her sword sheath and sets it next to her. She unties and unrolls her blanket, drapes it over her shoulders. Outside the rain is coming down harder and the sky is heavy with dark clouds. The view through the windows is blurred.

Miles stays silent. Charlie knows he's not asleep but he keeps his eyes closed. She watches him in the watery light until her eyelids start to droop, the unremitting downpour lulling her into something just barely resembling rest.

*

Wake up, Charlie-bear, Ben is whispering in her ear.

Charlie opens her eyes. The darkness that greets her is disorienting, and it takes her a few seconds to remember where she is.

Miles shifts in the front seat. "You should eat," he says. His voice is soft but she knows better than to think he'll let her decide for herself whether she's hungry or not.

Charlie's neck feels stiff; she rubs it as she sits up straighter, listens as he digs something out of his backpack. Their fingers brush together when Miles hands her some jerky and she shivers.

"Did it ever stop raining?" Charlie asks in between bites.

"Nope," Miles says. The water in his canteen sloshes around when he hands it to her. "Drink."

She doesn't take it from him. "I'll have to pee then," she says. "I'm not doing that in here."

"You know we can't go outside until we're sure the weather's cleared," he says.

"Do I?" It's all rumors as far as they know. Poison rain, radioactive rain, rain that kills in a matter of minutes. They haven't come across anyone who's seen it firsthand. She's tried to use common sense with him: if it were true there'd be dead animals lying around everywhere. If it were true they'd be dead already too because the ground would be poisoned, the plants, the water. But Miles isn't taking any chances.

"Couple of sips," he says. He reaches for her hand, presses the canteen into it.

Charlie scowls at him in the dark, but she opens the canteen and takes a sip. Just one.

"A rebel through and through," Miles says as he takes the canteen back from her. She thinks she hears sadness in his voice. Annoyance. Pride.

"You've taught me too well," she says.

"Nah," he says. He moves her sword and backpack to the front seat and then he's climbing into the backseat with her. "You were born an idiot."

"You mean stubborn," she says. He's reaching for her and she lets him pull her closer. It's only when she leans against him that she realizes how cold she is.

"I mean a Matheson," Miles says, spreading his blanket over the two of them.

She can't argue with that.

"You can sleep," he says. "I'll keep watch."

"I've slept," she says. "It's your turn now."

"Later," he insists.

She doesn't mean to fall asleep; all she wants is the comfort of his arms around her. Miles feels so warm and she's reluctant to pull away. Just for a little while, she tells herself. Just a few more minutes.

*

Charlie's trapped underground. The darkness that presses in on her feels like a living thing. There's someone there with her, right next to her; she can hear labored breathing.

Terror flares up in her chest, sinks down into her stomach.

"Danny," she says. "Danny?"

She can't move. He's so close, so close. But she can't reach him.

"Please," she whispers.

Nothing. Nothing but her own heartbeat.

Listen, Ben is telling her. Charlie. Listen.

Miles is holding her too tight when she drifts back into consciousness. His hand on her hair goes still.

"Bad dream?" he murmurs.

The rain's stopped. There's a hint of light coming in through the windows. "I wish you'd buried me with him," she says. Her mouth is dry and her voice breaks.

He moves his hand to her shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "I wish I hadn't had to bury him at all," he says. "He should be here too, driving me as crazy as you do."

She hears what he's not saying. I'm not gonna leave. The only promise he could make. The only promise he could keep. "I'm glad it was you." She raises her head from his chest and looks at him, out of words.

Miles' fingers are on her cheek, rough and calloused but soft too, so gentle. It makes her ache. He's made her ache from the start.

He seems to be out of words too. He's looking at her, he's tucking her tangled hair behind her ear.

Charlie wants to move closer, wants to touch her lips to his. She closes her eyes and leans forward until she feels his breath on her face.

"Charlie," he says, and the way he makes her name sound right then awakens something wild and fearless inside her. It's the first beautiful thing she's felt in a long, long time.

The kiss she expects doesn't come. She hears him open the car's door instead.

"There's more rain on the way," he says, pulling away from her as he checks the sky. "We'd better take a few minutes to stretch our legs and piss."

"Can you be any cruder than that?" She's angry and disappointed and she's not hiding it.

"I can, but I don't think you'd be amused," he says. He's out of the car before he's even done speaking. "Don't go far, I want you back here in five minutes."

Charlie grabs some of the toilet paper they'd found in the last place they'd squatted in, reaches for her canteen, opens the door on her side and steps outside. She puts some distance between her and Miles, wondering what he would do if it started raining and she wasn't back yet.

She takes longer than he does. When she comes back inside the car Miles is in the front seat again.

"Breakfast," he says, slicing an apple in two. "Did you go?"

Charlie shuts her door with more force than necessary. "What sort of details are you interested in, Miles? You wanna know if I wiped myself? Or maybe if it felt good?"

He ignores her tirade. "Please drink," he says. "You can't survive on one sip of water."

All of her anger leaves her at once. She drinks, and they split the apple between them. Miles gives her a handful of nuts and she eats them too.

The rain starts back in earnest. Charlie sits in silence watching the window fog up.

"Charlie," he says.

She looks at him.

"You know we can't," he says.

"You keep telling me what I know," she says. "'Cause I guess I'm incapable of knowing my own mind, right?"

Miles doesn't seem to have an answer. He looks frustrated. He looks tired.

Charlie sighs. "Get some sleep, Miles. You've been up for too long already."

"All right," he says. "But don't let me sleep all day."

"Yeah," she says.

Miles leans against his backpack and closes his eyes. She leans forward and tucks his blanket around him. "Thanks," he whispers.

He's asleep in an instant.

*

Charlie watches the rain, draws repeating swirls on her window, one on top of the other each time the glass fogs up. She tries to read but can't concentrate on the words. She watches Miles sleep and wonders what he's dreaming about. She listens to the rain and wills it to stop.

It doesn't. The sky seems to be made of water, a whole ocean pouring down on them.

She closes her eyes. No one greets her in the dark. No one speaks but the rain. Her heart beats like wings inside her, caged and frantic for flight.

She can't do this anymore. She can't stay in here. She won't stay.

Charlie leaves the door ajar when she walks down the road in the rain. She doesn't believe that it's going to kill her, but if it does then at least it'll be over. All this longing inside her and nowhere for it to go.

She hasn't walked a hundred steps before she hears him, calling for her, shouting her name. The desperation in his voice makes her stop, makes her turn around.

It doesn't take long for him to reach her. He's as soaked as she is.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he says. There's fear on his face, more fear than she ever thought he could feel. He grabs her shoulders, digs his fingers into her.

"I can't," she says.

"You can't what? What, Charlie?"

"Live like this," she tells him. "The rain's not going to kill me, Miles. But it wouldn't matter if it did. Most of the time I feel like I'm dead already, anyway."

Miles digs his fingers harder into her. She thinks he's going to say something, maybe yell at her some more. But he lets go of her shoulders, grabs her by the arm and starts dragging her back to the car.

"Stop," Charlie tells him. She shakes herself free of his grip. "You have to stop doing this," she says when he turns to face her again. "Don't order me around, don't treat me like I'm still a child. I'm not. You have to let me make my own choices."

"All I'm trying to do is take care of you," he says. He sounds lost. "You're not dead. Don't say you are."

"It's coming for us," she whispers. "Tomorrow, next month, ten, twenty years from now. The only sure thing in life is that we're going to die."

"Be sure of me," he says. He steps closer to her, takes her in his arms. "Can you do that? I'm here, Charlie. I'm here."

She presses herself against him, wraps her arms around him. "Be here, then. Take care of me the way I want you to. Let me take care of you."

Miles shakes his head.

"I need something good," she says. "I need this, Miles, I need us."

"That's not fair," he says.

"No," she agrees. "It isn't. Do you know anything that is?" She searches his gaze with hers. "I know you want this too," she says. "I know."

His arms tighten around her. "Don't ever scare me like this again," he says, just before he kisses her.

She's never been kissed before. She's dreamed about kissing Miles a thousand times, but this, oh, this--

She's shaking in his arms. He holds her tighter, closer, kisses her harder and she kisses him back, she kisses him, she kisses him.

"Miles," she breathes.

He brushes her wet hair from her face. "Let's get you warm and dry," he whispers.

They hurry back to the car, hand in hand.

*

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Charlie says.

You are, Ben says. You were always a dreamer.

Miles is looking at her when she opens her eyes. "Morning," he greets her. He runs his hand down her body under their blankets and she shudders.

"Hey," she whispers.

"Hey yourself," he says. She's so close to him that she can't be sure, but she thinks he might be smiling.

Charlie smiles back at him, she smiles even though he can't see it. And she kisses him.

She kisses him.

Miles holds her tight and doesn't let go.

***

character:miles matheson, fandom:revolution, challenge:revolution secret santa, fanfiction:revolution, fanfiction, character:charlie matheson, character:ben matheson, pairing:miles/charlie, fandom, challenge

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