Easter etc

[mackelzinzie]

It has occured to me that there is a different way for dealing with eveyone. So it takes a long time, but eventually, you figure out how to behave towards/ react towards your parents in a way that works for you. And inevitably, this'll bite you in the butt in the real world. So try as you may to anticipate this and react in a way that is neither

Comments

[fools_and_irish]

Re parents: they raise you, then you raise them. For me, it has gotten easier with age. But I would not go back to my teen years for half the kingdom and the king's gorgeous redheaded Irish-dance-loving daughter. Honeychile, for what it's worth (this & $10.50 will get you coffee at Starbucks), you're in a particularly bad time for comfort and independence, and it should get VASTLY easier. Your options for dealing with everyone--or not dealing with everyone--ought by rights to become much more extensive in the next few years. Hold on, sweetling. And take up yoga or some other form of meditative exercise.

[mackelzinzie]

Thank you. :)
I particuarly like being called honeychile. I haven't been called anything remotely similar since middle school in georgia- I was mostly called sweetpea (with vowels that took about half second longer than they shoulda.)
And its true, you do raise your parents. I've been raising my mom for the past few years. That so sounds neive and misinformed, at least to me... but sadly I know its true. I wish I were wrong. I've been helping her to deal with her abusive husband, and address her emotions, stand up for herself, feel self worth/confidence, and get on with her life.
The good point there is that she has gotten so much better. :)

[fools_and_irish]

Then lass o' my heart, you can take greatest pride and satisfaction. For you've fought the uphill battle to not only be taken seriously by your mother, but to have actually helped her on her path. NOT the easiest endeavor, by any means.

"Honeychile" you shall be, then. Remind me. I could probably use the practice with my drawl...North Carolina was a looong long time ago. And a galaxy pretty far way.

[mackelzinzie]

true, true.

When did you live in North Carolina (after mine own heart! the heart that belongs to georgia a little still at least, not my usual heart) ?
However you talk is wonderful, no fake accents are needed, by any means. And I never did talk with a drawl, though if you actually want help with one I might could help a little.

[fools_and_irish]

"I am not going to argue with you about this because I dont feel that either of us are well enough informed on the issue to have a productive arguement."

Hm...I'll have to try this. I've been going with, "You know, I was thinking about this while sacrificing the last person who argued with me to the Volcano Gods of Borneo..." but I'm not sure it's getting the response I've been hoping for.

[mackelzinzie]

hmm, maybe it doesn't get the response your looking for, but I like it, for humors sake. :)

[alarivana]

I've done the "I'm not going to argue with you" thing. People see it as passive-agressive, or ignore it, or deny that they were arguing at all, at least in my family.

The best way I've figured out to end an argument is to just leave it, back off for a while until people are thinking rationally.

[mackelzinzie]

yes well that does work too. I talked about that somewhere, but I dont know where. Yes I validate that this does happen, and I see your already the type to say that in an argument. Most people wont. Your a cat of a different fur type, and therefore different things may acheive the responses you want.

In my family, often a non commital, yet persistantly uninterested mhmm will do the trick. With this guy I know named John, I finally just had to say, we are not having this conversation any more. No, We are not arguing anymore. And then I stopped talking. Thats what brought upon my comment. He was going on about things he didn't know enough about etc.