Ee, yay for Emelan fics! I loved the way this fic was so... the best way I can think of to describe it is 'delicate', though that's probably not the word. It's just so great a balance between 'home life' and 'I wanna be on you'. Anyway, well done!
I do have to say, however, that the use of 'anyway' as the first word in the last line seems a bit jarring and (to me at least) ruins the effect slightly. Maybe substitute it for something less... conversational?
I wanted to convey a domestic atmosphere, and I'm glad that worked. But I also wanted, like, a "we don't have to think of the children tonight" thing. So, yeah.
I wanted the last line to feel conversational. It's supposed to continue the sensation of Lark's internal monologue. I'm disappointed to know that didn't work out.
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I do have to say, however, that the use of 'anyway' as the first word in the last line seems a bit jarring and (to me at least) ruins the effect slightly. Maybe substitute it for something less... conversational?
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I wanted the last line to feel conversational. It's supposed to continue the sensation of Lark's internal monologue. I'm disappointed to know that didn't work out.
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