do i want kathy to come to my graduation?

i don't know

i don't think i'm ready for all this.

being lectured ( Read more... )

i feel better, you know ( Read more... )

i guess i'm just looking for something stable in my life right now,
and i miss you being it.
i'm sorry.

i hate being stressed out like this.
i hate what i'm stressed about.
i get so much more jittery, and obsessive-compulsive.
i'm smoking cigs a lot, but it calms me down.
gets my mind off little tics.
because nothing else seems to be doing the trick.

i told my dad that i heard them arguing the other night. i told him i'd rather see her gone. i told him she's not a mother if she will so readily fuck us over. i want to be a family. she will try her damnedest to take our home from us. she needs to be the one to leave.

...i want her to. i don't want to lose alyssa.

things are okay.
they're not what i expected, planned for, or even wanted, but they're not bad.
i've still got enough to keep me up.

i'm most likely going to IU next year. and "most likely" is pretty much "definitely," unless by some weird twist they are too full to let me in, or, for the positive possibilities, if i get some big lump of money from ( Read more... )

i don't need anyone to make me happy.

i can be perfectly happy on my own.
but if there is someone who makes me happy,
i think it's alright for me to want to keep that person around.
right?

i've just discovered exercise and it's fantastic. i've spent roughly 6 hours at the YMCA in the past two days. i think i got over 15 miles done today doing some different things ( Read more... )

i think i'm going to get a Y membership. maybe i'll do that tomorrow if i get the chance ( Read more... )