Merry Christmas Luceti!
Hello, this is a Sarah and I'm here to spam you all again! But this time with something Holiday related that has been in the works for a few weeks now!
I BRING YOU:
How The Dist Saved Lucetimas
Every Villager
Down in Luceti
Feared Lucetimas a lot...
But Dist,
Who lived just North of the Village,
Did not!
Yes, Dist hated Lucetimas! The worst experiment season!
Do you need to ask why? Everyone knows the reason.
It might be that his hair had bleached three shades too light.
It might be, perhaps, that he just wasn't quite right.
But I think that the most reasonable charge,
May have been that his ego was 3 sizes too large.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His ego or hair,
Upon Lucetimas eve, he stood, standing there,
Staring down upon the village with a snooty grin,
At the shut-up windows, boarded up from within.
For they knew in Luceti no holiday was done,
Without Bil's sad attempt at pleasing the Great One.
"And they're sharpening their swords..." he mocked with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Lucetimas! It's already here!"
Then he growled, with his long nose practically running,
"I must find a way to keep Lucetimas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the villagers in town.
Would wake up bright and early. Greeting the day with a frown!
And then! Oh, the experiments! Oh, the experiments! experiments! experiments!
That's the one thing he hated! The experiments! experiments! experiments!
Then the villagers, young and old, would all be affected.
And they'd bitch. And they'd moan.
And they'd complain! complain! complain!
To avoid confrontation, which was always expected,
For a week in his room, Dist would hide, undetected.
But then,
Something would happen he liked least of all!
The effects would reach him, his pride would take the fall.
Why, the mess was enough to make his poor head start ringing!
And one time, the worse experiment of all: he found himself singing.
And it would go on and on and on,
Like a never-ending embarrassment marathon!
Dist thought and he thought, with the twitch of a wing,
And the more Dist thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
For far too long I've put up with it, now!
I must stop Lucetimas from coming!
...but how?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
Dist the Rose
Got a wonderful, awful idea!
"I know just what to do!" It would be such a hoot!
And he made up a quick Bil hat and bodysuit.
And he cackled, and clucked, "I knew this would work!
With this hat and this suit, I'll look just like that jerk!"
"All I need is a fonbot..."
And Dist wrote up a plan.
But making fonbots takes time, and he was only one man.
Did that stop the old Dist...?
No! Dist simply said,
"If I can't make a fonbot, I'll find one instead!"
So he called up poor Guy. Then he took some super glue,
And glued on some bolts, and maybe a nut or two.
Then
He went to the tunnel,
Seeking out the great one:
A scientist named John,
Who was no stranger to such fun.
Then Dist said, "See here!
I must speak with you at once!
And don't dare test my patience,
For I'm quite used to your stunts."
And Dist stared at John. His hands folded in his lap...
Why, it took nearly a minute to see he was taking a nap!
So he woke the man up with an irreparable slap.
"Don't disturb me right now," The Great One hissed,
And he punched Dist's lights out, with a tightly balled fist.
Then he slid back to town. His pride nearly shattered,
But he came back alive, and that's all that mattered!
He wouldn't give up, not here and not now.
For failure was something he just couldn't allow!
He went back to Guy and they pondered awhile,
And when an idea finally struck, he gave a great smile.
Without villagers to exploit, there could be no experiment!
And for the scientists that meant there could be no merriment.
No age changes! Or thought bubbles! Earthquakes! Ear ringing!
No monsters! Diseases! Hallucinations! Or singing!
But a problem remained: just where could they go?
That was the answer he still did not know.
To the tunnels, he mused. Where nothing was affected!
Where no experiments could be had. Where everyone could be protected!
And he burst into town with his plan now in action,
So hopefully, come the morrow, there would be satisfaction!
Community House 4 seemed a good place to start.
"And now," Dist began, "This barricade comes apart!"
But just as Dist put Guy to work in tearing down the door,
He saw a small face he hadn't noticed there before.
Staring up at the two with her small blue eyes alive,
Was little Elicia Hughes, who couldn't have been more than five.
The pair had been caught by this little human child
Who'd heard the commotion, since the night had turned wild.
She stared at Dist, and turned to her Papa with a cry.
"Papa, why is this strange man in our house? Why?"
Hughes was unamused by this story's twisted plot,
And he aimed his gun at Dist and fired right on the spot!
"You crazy fool, cease!" Dist shrieked out in terror,
"I'm here to save you all! You're making a grand error!"
Reluctantly he did, and then Hughes put up his gun
As he scooped up Elicia and they left, one-by-one.
And Dist explained his whole plan. They'd leave the whole town!
And clear out all the rooms as though no one were around.
And when dawn broke the morning on Lucetimas Day,
In the tunnels, safe and sound, is where they all would stay.
And his daughter would be safe.
By this, Hughes agreed.
Then they spread the word around, gaining all the help they'd need!
For it would take a group effort if they wanted to succeed.
And the one thing left behind,
Within the empty house,
Was a single speck of food not even enough for a mouse.
Then
They did the same thing
To the other villagers' rooms
Leaving no trace
Nor trail
For those foolish buffoons.
It was a quarter past midnight...
All the houses, left deserted
All the streets, quiet and calm.
And the last villager departed.
The tunnels were full of people! And many different groups!
The SOS Brigade! The Brave Vesperia! And The Blue Rogues.
Far beneath the surface! Down within the lair,
While John was subdued and tied up in his chair.
"At last I have done it!" Dist was happily humming,
"They're finding out now that no Lucetimas is coming!
They're starting up soon! I know just what they'll do.
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then all the scientists and Malnosso will all cry, boo-hoo!"
"You should check," reminded Guy.
"To be sure what you say is true!"
So he went. And to the edge of the tunnel, he flew.
And the people gathered behind him, in wait.
To see if this plan had yet sealed their fate.
But there was naught to be seen!
Why, the village looked tame!
It couldn't be so!
But one thing, it seemed, did not look the same...
They stared up at Luceti
And Dist adjusted his glasses.
Then he shook!
And what he saw shocked the masses!
Every villager in Luceti, the good and the bad,
Got presents! Wondrous things they've never had!
He hadn't stopped Lucetimas from coming!
It came!
But somehow or other, it hadn't been the same.
And Dist, with his designer shoes all wet from the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without experiments, it came without tests!
It came without curses, embarrassments or pests!
And he puzzled three hours, 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then Dist thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe the Malnosso," he thought, "weren't as bad as they say."
"Maybe the Malnosso... perhaps... were kind of okay."
And what happened then...?
Well... you all should have guessed.
That this long tiresome night
Had all just been a test!
And the moment the villagers gave a sigh of relief,
It turned out their respite was doomed to be brief!
The presents were all a sham! And Luceti was filled with greif!
And he...
He himself, Dist, was enraged beyond belief.
THE END
--
The moral is: the Malnosso always suck.
I hope you all had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! <3
I BRING YOU:
How The Dist Saved Lucetimas
Every Villager
Down in Luceti
Feared Lucetimas a lot...
But Dist,
Who lived just North of the Village,
Did not!
Yes, Dist hated Lucetimas! The worst experiment season!
Do you need to ask why? Everyone knows the reason.
It might be that his hair had bleached three shades too light.
It might be, perhaps, that he just wasn't quite right.
But I think that the most reasonable charge,
May have been that his ego was 3 sizes too large.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His ego or hair,
Upon Lucetimas eve, he stood, standing there,
Staring down upon the village with a snooty grin,
At the shut-up windows, boarded up from within.
For they knew in Luceti no holiday was done,
Without Bil's sad attempt at pleasing the Great One.
"And they're sharpening their swords..." he mocked with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Lucetimas! It's already here!"
Then he growled, with his long nose practically running,
"I must find a way to keep Lucetimas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the villagers in town.
Would wake up bright and early. Greeting the day with a frown!
And then! Oh, the experiments! Oh, the experiments! experiments! experiments!
That's the one thing he hated! The experiments! experiments! experiments!
Then the villagers, young and old, would all be affected.
And they'd bitch. And they'd moan.
And they'd complain! complain! complain!
To avoid confrontation, which was always expected,
For a week in his room, Dist would hide, undetected.
But then,
Something would happen he liked least of all!
The effects would reach him, his pride would take the fall.
Why, the mess was enough to make his poor head start ringing!
And one time, the worse experiment of all: he found himself singing.
And it would go on and on and on,
Like a never-ending embarrassment marathon!
Dist thought and he thought, with the twitch of a wing,
And the more Dist thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
For far too long I've put up with it, now!
I must stop Lucetimas from coming!
...but how?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
Dist the Rose
Got a wonderful, awful idea!
"I know just what to do!" It would be such a hoot!
And he made up a quick Bil hat and bodysuit.
And he cackled, and clucked, "I knew this would work!
With this hat and this suit, I'll look just like that jerk!"
"All I need is a fonbot..."
And Dist wrote up a plan.
But making fonbots takes time, and he was only one man.
Did that stop the old Dist...?
No! Dist simply said,
"If I can't make a fonbot, I'll find one instead!"
So he called up poor Guy. Then he took some super glue,
And glued on some bolts, and maybe a nut or two.
Then
He went to the tunnel,
Seeking out the great one:
A scientist named John,
Who was no stranger to such fun.
Then Dist said, "See here!
I must speak with you at once!
And don't dare test my patience,
For I'm quite used to your stunts."
And Dist stared at John. His hands folded in his lap...
Why, it took nearly a minute to see he was taking a nap!
So he woke the man up with an irreparable slap.
"Don't disturb me right now," The Great One hissed,
And he punched Dist's lights out, with a tightly balled fist.
Then he slid back to town. His pride nearly shattered,
But he came back alive, and that's all that mattered!
He wouldn't give up, not here and not now.
For failure was something he just couldn't allow!
He went back to Guy and they pondered awhile,
And when an idea finally struck, he gave a great smile.
Without villagers to exploit, there could be no experiment!
And for the scientists that meant there could be no merriment.
No age changes! Or thought bubbles! Earthquakes! Ear ringing!
No monsters! Diseases! Hallucinations! Or singing!
But a problem remained: just where could they go?
That was the answer he still did not know.
To the tunnels, he mused. Where nothing was affected!
Where no experiments could be had. Where everyone could be protected!
And he burst into town with his plan now in action,
So hopefully, come the morrow, there would be satisfaction!
Community House 4 seemed a good place to start.
"And now," Dist began, "This barricade comes apart!"
But just as Dist put Guy to work in tearing down the door,
He saw a small face he hadn't noticed there before.
Staring up at the two with her small blue eyes alive,
Was little Elicia Hughes, who couldn't have been more than five.
The pair had been caught by this little human child
Who'd heard the commotion, since the night had turned wild.
She stared at Dist, and turned to her Papa with a cry.
"Papa, why is this strange man in our house? Why?"
Hughes was unamused by this story's twisted plot,
And he aimed his gun at Dist and fired right on the spot!
"You crazy fool, cease!" Dist shrieked out in terror,
"I'm here to save you all! You're making a grand error!"
Reluctantly he did, and then Hughes put up his gun
As he scooped up Elicia and they left, one-by-one.
And Dist explained his whole plan. They'd leave the whole town!
And clear out all the rooms as though no one were around.
And when dawn broke the morning on Lucetimas Day,
In the tunnels, safe and sound, is where they all would stay.
And his daughter would be safe.
By this, Hughes agreed.
Then they spread the word around, gaining all the help they'd need!
For it would take a group effort if they wanted to succeed.
And the one thing left behind,
Within the empty house,
Was a single speck of food not even enough for a mouse.
Then
They did the same thing
To the other villagers' rooms
Leaving no trace
Nor trail
For those foolish buffoons.
It was a quarter past midnight...
All the houses, left deserted
All the streets, quiet and calm.
And the last villager departed.
The tunnels were full of people! And many different groups!
The SOS Brigade! The Brave Vesperia! And The Blue Rogues.
Far beneath the surface! Down within the lair,
While John was subdued and tied up in his chair.
"At last I have done it!" Dist was happily humming,
"They're finding out now that no Lucetimas is coming!
They're starting up soon! I know just what they'll do.
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then all the scientists and Malnosso will all cry, boo-hoo!"
"You should check," reminded Guy.
"To be sure what you say is true!"
So he went. And to the edge of the tunnel, he flew.
And the people gathered behind him, in wait.
To see if this plan had yet sealed their fate.
But there was naught to be seen!
Why, the village looked tame!
It couldn't be so!
But one thing, it seemed, did not look the same...
They stared up at Luceti
And Dist adjusted his glasses.
Then he shook!
And what he saw shocked the masses!
Every villager in Luceti, the good and the bad,
Got presents! Wondrous things they've never had!
He hadn't stopped Lucetimas from coming!
It came!
But somehow or other, it hadn't been the same.
And Dist, with his designer shoes all wet from the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without experiments, it came without tests!
It came without curses, embarrassments or pests!
And he puzzled three hours, 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then Dist thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe the Malnosso," he thought, "weren't as bad as they say."
"Maybe the Malnosso... perhaps... were kind of okay."
And what happened then...?
Well... you all should have guessed.
That this long tiresome night
Had all just been a test!
And the moment the villagers gave a sigh of relief,
It turned out their respite was doomed to be brief!
The presents were all a sham! And Luceti was filled with greif!
And he...
He himself, Dist, was enraged beyond belief.
THE END
--
The moral is: the Malnosso always suck.
I hope you all had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! <3