[Mekakuni] fic: Memories of the Future ch.19
This chapter took me almost 4 months. This is what happens when there are no deadlines. OTL. This chapter is an important turning point as well, so I wanted to do it justice. :)
Memories of the Future
A Namiki-centric fic for 30_kisses
Disclaimer: Mekakushi no Kuni belongs to Tsukuba Sakura. I'm making no profit from writing this piece of fanwork.
archive: lj | ffnet
word count: ~2400
----chapter 19: #8 our own world-----
Just a few months ago, Masahiro would have blurted out what Kaichou was going to say to him because her words were worth preening over. She would have just passed it off as intuition on his part. Now however, he reigned himself in because he knew it would be completely tactless of him, and he found he didn't want to do anything that could possibly change the future. He and Kanade both saw unpleasant futures more often than not and sought to prevent them as best as they could, but this time was completely different. He was afraid he'd do something to jeopardize the future he had seen, but why should he be afraid? It made no sense.
Kaichou peered at him curiously over the yam he had handed her. Her eyes darted between the yam and his face. What kind of expression did he have to warrant such scrutiny from her? Or perhaps his actions had been that baffling.
"Are you all right? Your face is very red. If you're cold, you should get a scarf."
Masahiro covered his face with his cold hand. He could feel himself blushing to the tips of his ears, and his mind wouldn't work fast enough to come up with an appropriate response.
"Mm, yeah, a scarf might help. I'll see you at the Christmas party," he said hastily. A scarf would help him hide his face, something that he really wanted to do at the moment. He made sure Kaichou was resting before he closed the infirmary door behind him, all the while entirely conscious of Kaichou's inquiring gaze.
He covered his face again. His hands weren't even that cold anymore, but against his burning face, they were freezing.
Kaichou was going to confess to him.
Kaichou was going to confess to him.
He couldn't quite wrap his mind around that thought even as he meandered down the corridor to make his way out. Once, Kanade had seen that Kaichou was going to confess to Arou. That had thrown her in a bind and confused her greatly. Masahiro merely thought it was amusing then, but now he entirely empathized with Kanade and admired her for her ability to meet the future head on.
Some things weren't meant to be seen. Seeing Kaichou's confession had completely thrown him off balance. The worst part was, he was being all confused over an event that hadn't even happened yet. He didn't even know if it was going to happen or if he had interpreted things right. Who knew? He might have seen things out of context.
A flash of red caught his eye. The fallen poinsettias were still all over the floor, right where he had made Kaichou leave them. Masahiro grabbed the box she had left behind, his hand reaching for the nearest flower. When he brushed a velvety petal, he took a deep breath before the corridors around him vanished.
Twinkling Christmas lights and red poinsettias decorated the walls of the crowded gym, a sharp contrast from the bare corridor he had been in. But even with dancing and food and enough holiday cheer to last for weeks, his vision was painted in muted colors no matter where he looked. It felt like the entire school was at the Christmas party, dancing and laughing and having a good time, but here he was, merely an onlooker.
He took a tentative step forward and immediately stopped in his tracks.
Amidst all the festivity, she was fixing the flowers. She stood on a small stool to reach the flowers on top. The hem of her blouse crept up with her reach. A couple passed by her, offering to lend a hand, but she waved them on and told them to go back to the party. When she finished, she tried to lean back to admire her handiwork, but she wobbled dangerously on the stool.
He leaped forward to catch her, but his hands passed right through her. Before panic could even settle in, another pair of arms caught her. Before he was even able to breath a sigh of relief, Kaichou looked up gratefully, her smile wide and brilliant.
He loved her smile.
He dropped the box on the floor, the leftover poinsettias tumbling out of the box.
-----
"Kanade, let me hug you."
Masahiro didn't wait for her response before he sneaked an arm around his petite friend from the back.
"Namiki-san!" squeaked Kanade. Even her ears had turned bright red.
When he continued to hang onto her, she rested one of her hands on his arm in reassurance, sensing that he needed the comfort. She breathed in, as if she wanted to ask him something but didn't know how to start. He was thankful for that. He took comfort in her calming presence, in her unwavering kindness that had completely changed his life. He threaded one hand through her hair and pulled her close with his other hand. He was close enough to feel her heartbeat and the warmth of her body.
In the silence that followed, he tried to sort his jumbled thoughts out. He had an epiphany of sorts, but there was so much to think about. When Kanade thought she had given him enough time, she shifted so that she could face him. She looked up at him, concern all over her face. Masahiro wanted to pull her closer and never let go. She was like an anchor for him, a safe haven, but...
"Namiki-san?" inquired Kanade softly. "I thought you already went home?"
He looked at her fondly and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, his smile at her blush equally soft. She raised a hand to her forehead and looked at him with warm eyes, eyes that promised him that everything was going to be all right.
He then let her go.
-----
During the following days, Masahiro felt like he was constantly on the look out. Whenever he took Marota out for a walk, he wondered if he'd run into Kaichou somewhere along the way. When he tutored Kanade, he wondered if Kanade had invited Kaichou along again. He kept glancing around, as if she'd suddenly appear. He didn't know when or where the confession was going happen. All he could remember were her echoing words.
I like you.
Her quiet but strong voice remained imprinted in his memory. Those three innocent words stopped his time. He couldn't go forward if those words didn't make it out into the open. Every little action left him wondering if he had changed the future in some way, if he would be left waiting and waiting.
He was pretty sure Arou had noticed that something was off about him, but he had waved his concern off. The least Masahiro could do was keep Kaichou's confession to himself until after it happened...if it ever happened. Arou had thought it necessary to remind him that he didn't need to take everything on by himself. He wasn't alone anymore. The dark-haired boy had patted his hand reassuringly, and it was to Arou's credit that Masahiro trusted that Arou was only trying to be supportive even though that one small pat came packaged with a heap of visions of the past. Masahiro still wished he hadn't seen the future--it wasn't something meant to be seen beforehand, and knowing only put him in turmoil while playing this waiting game--but there was one good thing that had come about.
He had been given the time to come to term with his own feelings.
Now, it was just a matter of when and where...and whether he had things all wrong. Despite Kanade and Arou's good intentions, this was a private matter. He wanted Kaichou to be the first one privy to his thoughts. He suspected Kanade might have seen something, but she was keeping quiet. That he was thankful for too. He resolved to himself that if nothing happened by New Years, he would take action.
The week of Christmas finally rolled around after what felt like an eternity. The confession still hadn't happened, but at least Masahiro knew to expect Kaichou at the Christmas party. He had seen that much at least and was reassured that even though she had fallen off her stool in his vision of the future, someone had been there to catch her. Still, that didn't stop him from worrying.
At the party, Masahiro immediately found his way over to Kaichou. She was wearing a simple, one piece dress that came to her knees. He paused in his steps. This was already different from what he had seen in his vision of the Christmas party. There, she had been wearing the blouse from her normal school uniform. Masahiro knew that what he had seen of the future had been far away and that it was highly possible that the future wouldn't unfold like what he had seen. Only the immediate future was ever accurate. He wondered what that meant for his other vision, since it still hadn't happened.
He gulped but nevertheless took to following Kaichou around.
At the refreshments table, she handed him a red velvet cupcake. They were a beautiful red. When he peeled off the wrapper, he saw her looking at him expectantly.
"Are you so eager to see me eat this?" asked Masahiro, amused.
"Go on, take a bite!" she said in reply. She then realized how much she was leaning towards him in her eagerness. She took a step back.
He humored her and bit into the cupcake. It was moist and had an interesting texture. It was definitely different from the normal chocolate or vanilla cupcake.
"How is it?" she asked eagerly, leaning forward once again.
Masahiro took his time to appreciate the taste. Kaichou grabbed a cupcake of her own and slowly peeled the wrapper. She glanced at him, waiting for his verdict. He could pretty much guess that she had a hand with making these.
"A perfect mix of cocoa and vanilla," he declared. He took another large bite into the cupcake. Kaichou was getting better and better at baking.
He grinned when he saw Kaichou's smile blossom. She sighed in relief.
"I was afraid they'd come out weird! I don't have Arou's talent for cooking at all. It's great that you liked it."
"While I have to admit that Arou is the god of cooking," started Masahiro, "it's so much better getting something from a girl than a guy."
Kaichou laughed and nibbled on her own cupcake. The party continued on, but Masahiro didn't feel a need to go anywhere. Kaichou though, had other things in mind. She patrolled the area, checked to see that they still had enough refreshments, and did everything but participate in the party like everyone else was doing. She tried to make him join the rest of the celebration, but he resolutely continued to follow her. Even when she spotted Arou and Kanade and looked towards him to see if he was going to go off with them, Masahiro merely waved at them and told Kaichou that he'd find them later. She gave him a look that he couldn't decipher--was she finding his behavior weird?--but she continued on.
She stopped next to the wall and looked up at the drooping line of poinsettias with a frown. Kaichou quickly glanced around and pulled over a stool.
Masahiro's eyes widened. The scene was almost exactly like what he had seen, except Kaichou was wearing something different. He hastily grabbed her hand. Someone had been there to catch Kaichou in his vision of the future, but that was too risky. It was better to keep her away from that stool in the first place. He didn't see anyone around who was paying them any attention either, so where was the person who was going to be there to catch Kaichou?
His thoughts came to a halt. There was him after all.
"Is something wrong?" asked Kaichou. Masahiro was still holding her hand.
He tugged her away from the wall. "Let me fix those flowers for you. Not good to let a lady climb so high in a dress."
Her lips twitched upwards at his words. "What a gentleman you're being today, but I'll be fine even in a dress."
Masahiro shook his head. He tested the stability of the stool and heaved himself up despite Kaichou's protests. "Leave it to me. I don't want to see you fall." He reached up to fix the flowers. He tucked them back on the ledge that supported them.
"...did you see that happen?" asked Kaichou quietly. "Is that why you've been with me this entire time?"
He could tell she was trying to make light of the situation, but she sounded almost...disappointed. He twisted to look back at her, wanting to see her so he could figure out what she meant. His movement must have upset his balance, for the next thing he knew, he was toppling forward.
That dratted vision was still coming true.
Masahiro saw Kaichou rush forward, her arms wide open. He tried to warn her to get out of the way--he'd rather fall on the floor than hurt her--but there was no time for warnings. He pummeled right into her. Both of them crashed into the ground from the impact. He tried to cushion her with his arms.
"Are you all right?" he asked, alarm coloring his words. He managed to lift himself up partially so he could look at Kaichou. There was a twinge of pain in his shoulder, but he was more worried about Kaichou. She could have hit her head.
She was staring back at him with wide eyes. It was then that he noticed that their position was very suggestive.
He stared back at her. His thoughts were far, far away from the Christmas party. Kaichou had his complete attention.
His heart was still pounding a mile a minute. He suspected the same for her.
"I think I made the future worse," said Masahiro. "It'd have been better if I caught you and didn't let both of us crash."
Kaichou stared at him some more. He was growing a bit panicked at her lack of reaction. It didn't take that long to get over falling, did it? Had she actually hurt herself? Was she dwelling on his powers? Was she...
"Namiki."
"Yes?" he answered immediately.
That smile of hers that he loved so much slowly spread over her face. It was as if she had made up her mind about something and could not contain her excitement.
His heart pounded in his ears.
"I like you."
This was definitely not how either of his visions had played out, but Masahiro had been waiting for those words all the same.
-----
next chapter: fence
Memories of the Future
A Namiki-centric fic for 30_kisses
Disclaimer: Mekakushi no Kuni belongs to Tsukuba Sakura. I'm making no profit from writing this piece of fanwork.
archive: lj | ffnet
word count: ~2400
----chapter 19: #8 our own world-----
Just a few months ago, Masahiro would have blurted out what Kaichou was going to say to him because her words were worth preening over. She would have just passed it off as intuition on his part. Now however, he reigned himself in because he knew it would be completely tactless of him, and he found he didn't want to do anything that could possibly change the future. He and Kanade both saw unpleasant futures more often than not and sought to prevent them as best as they could, but this time was completely different. He was afraid he'd do something to jeopardize the future he had seen, but why should he be afraid? It made no sense.
Kaichou peered at him curiously over the yam he had handed her. Her eyes darted between the yam and his face. What kind of expression did he have to warrant such scrutiny from her? Or perhaps his actions had been that baffling.
"Are you all right? Your face is very red. If you're cold, you should get a scarf."
Masahiro covered his face with his cold hand. He could feel himself blushing to the tips of his ears, and his mind wouldn't work fast enough to come up with an appropriate response.
"Mm, yeah, a scarf might help. I'll see you at the Christmas party," he said hastily. A scarf would help him hide his face, something that he really wanted to do at the moment. He made sure Kaichou was resting before he closed the infirmary door behind him, all the while entirely conscious of Kaichou's inquiring gaze.
He covered his face again. His hands weren't even that cold anymore, but against his burning face, they were freezing.
Kaichou was going to confess to him.
Kaichou was going to confess to him.
He couldn't quite wrap his mind around that thought even as he meandered down the corridor to make his way out. Once, Kanade had seen that Kaichou was going to confess to Arou. That had thrown her in a bind and confused her greatly. Masahiro merely thought it was amusing then, but now he entirely empathized with Kanade and admired her for her ability to meet the future head on.
Some things weren't meant to be seen. Seeing Kaichou's confession had completely thrown him off balance. The worst part was, he was being all confused over an event that hadn't even happened yet. He didn't even know if it was going to happen or if he had interpreted things right. Who knew? He might have seen things out of context.
A flash of red caught his eye. The fallen poinsettias were still all over the floor, right where he had made Kaichou leave them. Masahiro grabbed the box she had left behind, his hand reaching for the nearest flower. When he brushed a velvety petal, he took a deep breath before the corridors around him vanished.
Twinkling Christmas lights and red poinsettias decorated the walls of the crowded gym, a sharp contrast from the bare corridor he had been in. But even with dancing and food and enough holiday cheer to last for weeks, his vision was painted in muted colors no matter where he looked. It felt like the entire school was at the Christmas party, dancing and laughing and having a good time, but here he was, merely an onlooker.
He took a tentative step forward and immediately stopped in his tracks.
Amidst all the festivity, she was fixing the flowers. She stood on a small stool to reach the flowers on top. The hem of her blouse crept up with her reach. A couple passed by her, offering to lend a hand, but she waved them on and told them to go back to the party. When she finished, she tried to lean back to admire her handiwork, but she wobbled dangerously on the stool.
He leaped forward to catch her, but his hands passed right through her. Before panic could even settle in, another pair of arms caught her. Before he was even able to breath a sigh of relief, Kaichou looked up gratefully, her smile wide and brilliant.
He loved her smile.
He dropped the box on the floor, the leftover poinsettias tumbling out of the box.
-----
"Kanade, let me hug you."
Masahiro didn't wait for her response before he sneaked an arm around his petite friend from the back.
"Namiki-san!" squeaked Kanade. Even her ears had turned bright red.
When he continued to hang onto her, she rested one of her hands on his arm in reassurance, sensing that he needed the comfort. She breathed in, as if she wanted to ask him something but didn't know how to start. He was thankful for that. He took comfort in her calming presence, in her unwavering kindness that had completely changed his life. He threaded one hand through her hair and pulled her close with his other hand. He was close enough to feel her heartbeat and the warmth of her body.
In the silence that followed, he tried to sort his jumbled thoughts out. He had an epiphany of sorts, but there was so much to think about. When Kanade thought she had given him enough time, she shifted so that she could face him. She looked up at him, concern all over her face. Masahiro wanted to pull her closer and never let go. She was like an anchor for him, a safe haven, but...
"Namiki-san?" inquired Kanade softly. "I thought you already went home?"
He looked at her fondly and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, his smile at her blush equally soft. She raised a hand to her forehead and looked at him with warm eyes, eyes that promised him that everything was going to be all right.
He then let her go.
-----
During the following days, Masahiro felt like he was constantly on the look out. Whenever he took Marota out for a walk, he wondered if he'd run into Kaichou somewhere along the way. When he tutored Kanade, he wondered if Kanade had invited Kaichou along again. He kept glancing around, as if she'd suddenly appear. He didn't know when or where the confession was going happen. All he could remember were her echoing words.
I like you.
Her quiet but strong voice remained imprinted in his memory. Those three innocent words stopped his time. He couldn't go forward if those words didn't make it out into the open. Every little action left him wondering if he had changed the future in some way, if he would be left waiting and waiting.
He was pretty sure Arou had noticed that something was off about him, but he had waved his concern off. The least Masahiro could do was keep Kaichou's confession to himself until after it happened...if it ever happened. Arou had thought it necessary to remind him that he didn't need to take everything on by himself. He wasn't alone anymore. The dark-haired boy had patted his hand reassuringly, and it was to Arou's credit that Masahiro trusted that Arou was only trying to be supportive even though that one small pat came packaged with a heap of visions of the past. Masahiro still wished he hadn't seen the future--it wasn't something meant to be seen beforehand, and knowing only put him in turmoil while playing this waiting game--but there was one good thing that had come about.
He had been given the time to come to term with his own feelings.
Now, it was just a matter of when and where...and whether he had things all wrong. Despite Kanade and Arou's good intentions, this was a private matter. He wanted Kaichou to be the first one privy to his thoughts. He suspected Kanade might have seen something, but she was keeping quiet. That he was thankful for too. He resolved to himself that if nothing happened by New Years, he would take action.
The week of Christmas finally rolled around after what felt like an eternity. The confession still hadn't happened, but at least Masahiro knew to expect Kaichou at the Christmas party. He had seen that much at least and was reassured that even though she had fallen off her stool in his vision of the future, someone had been there to catch her. Still, that didn't stop him from worrying.
At the party, Masahiro immediately found his way over to Kaichou. She was wearing a simple, one piece dress that came to her knees. He paused in his steps. This was already different from what he had seen in his vision of the Christmas party. There, she had been wearing the blouse from her normal school uniform. Masahiro knew that what he had seen of the future had been far away and that it was highly possible that the future wouldn't unfold like what he had seen. Only the immediate future was ever accurate. He wondered what that meant for his other vision, since it still hadn't happened.
He gulped but nevertheless took to following Kaichou around.
At the refreshments table, she handed him a red velvet cupcake. They were a beautiful red. When he peeled off the wrapper, he saw her looking at him expectantly.
"Are you so eager to see me eat this?" asked Masahiro, amused.
"Go on, take a bite!" she said in reply. She then realized how much she was leaning towards him in her eagerness. She took a step back.
He humored her and bit into the cupcake. It was moist and had an interesting texture. It was definitely different from the normal chocolate or vanilla cupcake.
"How is it?" she asked eagerly, leaning forward once again.
Masahiro took his time to appreciate the taste. Kaichou grabbed a cupcake of her own and slowly peeled the wrapper. She glanced at him, waiting for his verdict. He could pretty much guess that she had a hand with making these.
"A perfect mix of cocoa and vanilla," he declared. He took another large bite into the cupcake. Kaichou was getting better and better at baking.
He grinned when he saw Kaichou's smile blossom. She sighed in relief.
"I was afraid they'd come out weird! I don't have Arou's talent for cooking at all. It's great that you liked it."
"While I have to admit that Arou is the god of cooking," started Masahiro, "it's so much better getting something from a girl than a guy."
Kaichou laughed and nibbled on her own cupcake. The party continued on, but Masahiro didn't feel a need to go anywhere. Kaichou though, had other things in mind. She patrolled the area, checked to see that they still had enough refreshments, and did everything but participate in the party like everyone else was doing. She tried to make him join the rest of the celebration, but he resolutely continued to follow her. Even when she spotted Arou and Kanade and looked towards him to see if he was going to go off with them, Masahiro merely waved at them and told Kaichou that he'd find them later. She gave him a look that he couldn't decipher--was she finding his behavior weird?--but she continued on.
She stopped next to the wall and looked up at the drooping line of poinsettias with a frown. Kaichou quickly glanced around and pulled over a stool.
Masahiro's eyes widened. The scene was almost exactly like what he had seen, except Kaichou was wearing something different. He hastily grabbed her hand. Someone had been there to catch Kaichou in his vision of the future, but that was too risky. It was better to keep her away from that stool in the first place. He didn't see anyone around who was paying them any attention either, so where was the person who was going to be there to catch Kaichou?
His thoughts came to a halt. There was him after all.
"Is something wrong?" asked Kaichou. Masahiro was still holding her hand.
He tugged her away from the wall. "Let me fix those flowers for you. Not good to let a lady climb so high in a dress."
Her lips twitched upwards at his words. "What a gentleman you're being today, but I'll be fine even in a dress."
Masahiro shook his head. He tested the stability of the stool and heaved himself up despite Kaichou's protests. "Leave it to me. I don't want to see you fall." He reached up to fix the flowers. He tucked them back on the ledge that supported them.
"...did you see that happen?" asked Kaichou quietly. "Is that why you've been with me this entire time?"
He could tell she was trying to make light of the situation, but she sounded almost...disappointed. He twisted to look back at her, wanting to see her so he could figure out what she meant. His movement must have upset his balance, for the next thing he knew, he was toppling forward.
That dratted vision was still coming true.
Masahiro saw Kaichou rush forward, her arms wide open. He tried to warn her to get out of the way--he'd rather fall on the floor than hurt her--but there was no time for warnings. He pummeled right into her. Both of them crashed into the ground from the impact. He tried to cushion her with his arms.
"Are you all right?" he asked, alarm coloring his words. He managed to lift himself up partially so he could look at Kaichou. There was a twinge of pain in his shoulder, but he was more worried about Kaichou. She could have hit her head.
She was staring back at him with wide eyes. It was then that he noticed that their position was very suggestive.
He stared back at her. His thoughts were far, far away from the Christmas party. Kaichou had his complete attention.
His heart was still pounding a mile a minute. He suspected the same for her.
"I think I made the future worse," said Masahiro. "It'd have been better if I caught you and didn't let both of us crash."
Kaichou stared at him some more. He was growing a bit panicked at her lack of reaction. It didn't take that long to get over falling, did it? Had she actually hurt herself? Was she dwelling on his powers? Was she...
"Namiki."
"Yes?" he answered immediately.
That smile of hers that he loved so much slowly spread over her face. It was as if she had made up her mind about something and could not contain her excitement.
His heart pounded in his ears.
"I like you."
This was definitely not how either of his visions had played out, but Masahiro had been waiting for those words all the same.
-----
next chapter: fence