A life update...

[lozenger8]

Under the cut I recount something that happened today. Something that I think shows who I've been, how I'm growing, and how things currently stand.

Comments

[theficklepickle]

Apart from the details of your experiences, that sounds very much like the sort of thing I could have written myself. It does sound, though, as if you've got a good relationship with your students and a wonderfully positive attitude which I'm sure they'll remember always.

[lozenger8]

Aw, yeah, my students and I get along famously. You can't fake the happy grins and "hello"s they give me.

[draycevixen]

The truth is, petal, that you're much further along than you realize. What you're perceiving as it rolling off other people isn't the truth either as for many of them it hurts too, it's what they choose to show to the world that's different as is what you showed to the world today.

[lozenger8]

When you're a kid you don't realise almost everyone else is faking their confidence, bravado and ability to laugh in the face of embarrassment. I wish more people were honest in how sometimes you feel badly but you just have to suck it up.

I don't think everyone frets and worries late into the night at the age of 20+ about mixing up the words 'schnitzel' and 'smorgasbord' when they were speaking in front of their year 7 class (as a student, I might add, not a teacher), though. I really did used to make beating myself up over truly minor embarrassments a major art form.

[thesmallhobbit]

Plus points: your class wanted their teacher to take part and you were prepared to stand up and do it. For years I would have curled up in a ball if anything like that was even suggested.

Now, I'm a lot more confident, but it's taken years and years, two children and a lot of different experiences. And getting older and no longer caring as much!

[lozenger8]

Yup. My evil, evil class. :D Actually, it was really cute that they were so into it.

I do think that growing older and having fewer fucks to give has been part of it :D

[jillwise]

I think that's a sign that you're an excellent teacher, to be able to take a moment when you were feeling crappy and turn it into a teaching point so your students can learn. Go you!!

[lozenger8]

Thank you <333

[piapiapiano]

that shitty moment during a 'Play is the Way' PD day when I fell over and couldn't stop the tears, and then was paraded in front of the staff of four other schools as a 'teaching point about building self-respect'.

WTF?

[lozenger8]

I've been searching through my journal, convinced I wrote about it, but apparently I never did. Too painful