This was very interesting. I must admit to not having watched more than a couple of episodes of Witch Hunter Robin, so I can't comment on things like whether the portrayal was in character.
However, I can say that it was good! The idea of the two characters having feelings for each other, but being trapped by their self-imposed roles of father and daughter...very interesting. I really liked how you showed that despite their feelings they had fallen so deeply into the roles they didn't know how to get out. Her hero worship for Amon, allowing him to order her around and looking to him for protection and direction...Amon, seeing her as a child, one beginning to come into her own, but still a child and feeling that he couldn't take advantage of it...Chii!
The wordings are slightly awkward sometimes, but not in a horrible way. They're just a little "off" from common parlance.
I dunno what it is about WHR but it's pretty much one of my favourite anime series ever. I suppose I like the lack of typical shôjo elements and those annoying damsels in distress as well the dark colors of the animation. It's not for all people though, I can see why it might not been your thing ;)
My english is awkaward but at least there's been some improvement during the 4-5 years I've been actively writing. I tend to trouble with commas and the sentence structure since finnish is such a weird mother language. We use a lot of suffixes. Like in english you'd say 'my house' but in finnish it's 'taloni' (talo = house, ni = suffix ending that replaces the my). Word orders and the like in english seem pretty complicated when I'm just to putting a bunch of suffixes behind the noun. Damn, I started ranting... ^^' /rant
Oh well, as long as its just a little "off", I mean, readable, I guess I can live with it ;)
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However, I can say that it was good! The idea of the two characters having feelings for each other, but being trapped by their self-imposed roles of father and daughter...very interesting. I really liked how you showed that despite their feelings they had fallen so deeply into the roles they didn't know how to get out. Her hero worship for Amon, allowing him to order her around and looking to him for protection and direction...Amon, seeing her as a child, one beginning to come into her own, but still a child and feeling that he couldn't take advantage of it...Chii!
The wordings are slightly awkward sometimes, but not in a horrible way. They're just a little "off" from common parlance.
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My english is awkaward but at least there's been some improvement during the 4-5 years I've been actively writing. I tend to trouble with commas and the sentence structure since finnish is such a weird mother language. We use a lot of suffixes. Like in english you'd say 'my house' but in finnish it's 'taloni' (talo = house, ni = suffix ending that replaces the my). Word orders and the like in english seem pretty complicated when I'm just to putting a bunch of suffixes behind the noun. Damn, I started ranting... ^^' /rant
Oh well, as long as its just a little "off", I mean, readable, I guess I can live with it ;)
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