Poem: Prerequisites

[lettered]

What: A Jossverse poem, free verse, very very short.
Why: for stultiloquentia, because she always rocks my world.
A/N: I suck at poetry. But it's fun to try.

Comments

[stultiloquentia]

OMGSQUEE! You do not suck at poetry. I like it. I don't know why everybody's afraid to judge the stuff, when we all have more opinions than God about each other's prose. (Which begs the question: How many opinions does God have?)

My favourite line is, "Broken, they'd scent the air like cinnamon sticks." That's perfect and strange. And "messianic kisses," whew. And I love how he loses hold of his established pattern on the 3rd-to-last line. "Her" to "your." Yeah.

You rock my world. *rocks* Look at me, I'm all pink and happy. (My masterlist is now up to seven.)

[lettered]

I don't know why everybody's afraid to judge the stuff,

I am because I don't understand it. Every bit of prose I have ever read, I can break down and tell you WHY I like it and WHY I think it works. But I can't do that with the poems I love the most; they hit me on a gut level that my brain can't work out. That's also why I feel like I can't write it--if I beat myself hard enough against prose I can eventually hammer out something I'm pleased with. Not so with poetry. A line or a word *comes* to me, and it really really works, like the "cinnamon sticks" line, but it's often months until another such line comes. I got impatient with this and gave up, which is how most of my poetry gets finished.

But! I'm so glad you liked it! And I'm so glad you're keeping track of the poetry. I loved the "Rhymes With Luck" one...and I haven't read Mer's yet.

[canadiangirl_86]

Dude. That was awesome.

[lettered]

Ha, glad you liked it.

[femmenerd]

If that's "sucking at poetry," then um, BLOW ME.

You have too much fun with words to be bad at writing poetry. Also, I think that this is an incredibly good example of fan-poetry because it weaves right into canon, yet is clearly yours as well.

[lettered]

Haha, thanks. The fun in words seems to all drain away when it's poetry, not prose. The thing about prose is it's okay to have a word or two that isn't brilliant in prose, and I really feel it's not in poetry.

[chrisleeoctaves]

Yeah...clearly this is all kinds of suck.
Silly, silly girl.

Poetry is about word choice and rhythm. About twisting images and tweaking phrases and this is brilliant...

murderous wrists.
Broken, they'd scent the air like cinnamon sticks.
and
Life-Savers red cherry kisses.
Fucked, they blossom and she pops, like waiting champagne fizz.

And then those last two lines.

Pow!

[lettered]

Well, I'm glad you think it doesn't suck. I actually didn't think it sucked either, but I sucked at writing it...picking words always feels like pulling teeth! But thanks...it means a lot to me that you liked it.

[43100]

Apparently there's a writer con in atlanta ga where I happen to have lived once and still live near...? [/random]

LOVED this. I enjoyed:

'Her pulse-point wrists.' Little descriptions like that rock my socks and roll around my tongue for days like a wicked good liquor. I don't know why exactly, but it totally does.

'Fucked, they blossom and she pops, like waiting champagne fizz.' And sometimes they turn me on. o.O

'You must fathom her forgiveness, her "you're a man" forgiveness, your treacherous, hated love, tousled in the sheets.' To this I must say: yes!

No sucking here, doll.

[lettered]

So are you going to writercon? You should go. You should go vicariously for me. Gah I wish I could!

'Her pulse-point wrists.' Little descriptions like that

Glad you liked that. I wasn't sure it worked! And thanks.