Fanfic: Interference 5/?
Author: leikvin
Category: AU
Characters: Michael Scofield, Sara Tancredi, Lincoln Burrows, Veronica Donovan, Nika Volek, Nurse Katie, Charles Westmoreland, Paul Kellerman, Frank Tancredi
Genres: Romance, drama, angst
Pairing: Michael/Sara
Warnings: Work in progress
Word count: 5361
Summary: Michael is in the airport on his way to Colorado on a business ( Read more... )
Comments 14
if you havent done so, I suggest you post your story on this website
http://www.prisonbreakfic.net/
many people always check fanfics there and yours would definitely draw more attention!!!
keep up good work!
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I'm actually posting it over there already. :-)
And you're right. I have much more readers over there.
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Like here: this chapter is all about sara side, but if you fit in Michael a little bit, even just say sth. trivial he does or happened to him in the hotel, like take a bath, drink a coffee, read newspaper etc., where you may carefully put his thinking of sara in, but not too much of the thinking would be good (they are still almost strangers even fall a little bit to each other). Likewise. It would be helpful to intrigue readers.
Otherwise at least to me it is lack of some sort of tension, leading to a little bit bored feeling~~~
and you dont have to force yourself to write it in a hurry, long stories are not easy to deal with. sometimes you just need a little bit time to get the right feelings, then you go when you feels like to go~~~
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It's so good to have some constructive critisism. Not many have the guts to say what they really think. It really helps me become a better writer, and since this is all new to me, it's really helpfull.
I will definitely have this in mind when writing on!
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Ok, I would not call it slow, slow may not hurt but the thing is I would like to see when you portrait Sara/Michael separately, please try to mix the other into the picture, not every moment but if the chapter is basically about one side.
Like here: this chapter is all about sara side, but if you fit in Michael a little bit, even just say sth. trivial he does or happened to him in the hotel, like take a bath, drink a coffee, read newspaper etc., where you may carefully put his thinking of sara in, but not too much of the thinking would be good (they are still almost strangers even fall a little bit to each other). Likewise. It would be helpful to intrigue readers.
Otherwise at least to me it is lack of some sort of tension, leading to a little bit bored feeling~~~
and you dont have to force yourself to write it in a hurry, long stories are not easy to deal with. sometimes you just need a little bit time to get the right feelings, then you go when you feels like to go~~~
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The next chapter will be up soon, so stay tuned!
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I've just started reading this. I am kind of leery of AU stories anymore, but I gave this one a chance and I really like it. It's an interesting premise, and the Michael and Sara and the gang seem in character, which is very important to me. Poor Nika, though. How many men does she need? LOL.
Thanks for sharing!
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Well, I'm so happy you gave it a shot. I know the feeling.. Ever since the new season started, I'm much more into canon-modus myself. Good to hear you think MiSa is in character. I know Sara's probably a bit more bold in this, than in canon, but I hope it's not more than acceptable...
And about Nika...yeah..I agree..poor girl. She's not all bad though...but I'll get back to that down the line. :-)
Thanks for your lovely review! :)
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