Comments | lanerose: Horizon ~ Chapter One

lanerose

Horizon ~ Chapter One

Feb 22, 2006 23:05

Title: Horizon ~ Chapter One
Fandom: FF7, Last Order, Advent Children, Before Crisis / AU for different elements of the last two
Beta: The talented ladylore, who catches all my slips ^.^
Rating: Eh... PG-13 ish because of language
Notes: Well... ignoring the whole thing where this chapter is three times as long as I'd intended it to be (and darned if I ( Read more... )

horizon, ffvii, fic

Comments 16

forgottenlover February 23 2006, 14:43:34 UTC

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ::dies::

lanerose February 23 2006, 15:24:31 UTC

O_O

... are you all right?

... ::tries to remember CPR::

forgottenlover February 23 2006, 16:31:08 UTC

::getting kissed now whut? Decides on a Seph reply and just arches an eyebrow at you since youre a friendlike:: mmhmm

lanerose February 23 2006, 17:21:14 UTC

Lovely, I just tried to *remember* CPR, not to *do* it. ^.~

... and seriously... dead? O_o

Thread 8

bard_linn February 23 2006, 22:41:54 UTC

Hm...Your transitions are a bit confusing at times, though I suspect you are doing that on purpose. Over all not a bad start. I'm fond of the Cid POV the most, actually.

lanerose February 23 2006, 23:23:05 UTC

Well, I guess it depends on how they're confusing. The spots where memories are fading in and out are definitely deliberate, though I have tried to make them as clear as possible either by spelling out the situation before the fade in such a way that you know what's happening and / or mentioning after the fact that they were memories / dreams / etc. I'm hoping you didn't mean things are confusing when it slides from one POV to the next ~ I just can't bring myself to label POV shifts b/c I've always felt doing so insults the reader. Does that make any sense? ::shrugs:: If not, let me know what's confusing, and I'll see if I can make it any better! Glad that at least the Cid section works! XD

bard_linn February 23 2006, 23:32:53 UTC

POVs work, mostly. It's hard to tell when you are, but I figured that was on purpose. =)

lanerose February 23 2006, 23:37:28 UTC

I'm sorry, I'm being ridiculous about this, but is there anywhere specific you can point me? The lines of ~ were to denote POV changes - would it be clearer if I also skipped a couple lines on either side?

Thread 6

(The comment has been removed)

lanerose February 24 2006, 02:46:06 UTC

O_________O

... that was a really cool message to get. ^____________________^

Glad you liked it!!! ^______^

(The comment has been removed)

lanerose February 24 2006, 02:50:21 UTC

Awww, sorry to hear you're sick! That always sucks. ;_; Glad to have made it a little better for you.