You know what? I don't even need people to read this journal to still get *something* out of it. I was skimming through older posts, and wow, was I ever fucked up 5 years ago; I feel so high-functioning and rational when I read older entries. It's almost like I've managed actual personal growth in spite of myself ( Read more... )

So. It's been years, huh? I stopped posting because it seemed like no one read this journal anyway, and I was trying to do my art thing on tumblr, but boy is that site isolating and unrewarding ( Read more... )

I often don't enjoy social things at all, and hate every minute as soon as I walk in. But even when I do enjoy things, I end up with this melancholy hangover. I like these people and enjoy being around them... But I feel alienated and unlikeable when I try to actually engage.

Oh hi, livejournal. You still exist ( Read more... )

I get that romantic/sexual relationships are a big deal to most people, but most people also manage to have, like, friends? Family? Why are there almost no songs about those relationships.

I mean, I know why. But I strongly disapprove.

Hallelujah, I got a reply. From one of the places I actually wanted, too, not one of the "I can't afford to be picky, I guess I could live with that" ones.

At my Bible study today, when they asked for prayer concerns at the end, I admitted that I need a place to live nd I'm running out of time. I usually only bring up sick or injured friends and family, and keep my own personal problems to myself, because... ? Because I am awkward and shy? Because I feel like it's weird to talk about your problems ( Read more... )

Literally everyone posting about roommates on craigslist describes themselves as "chill." It's starting to get kind of creepy. Is there something in the water....? No, wait, I'm actually one of the only people I know here who drinks straight tap water.

Maybe it's something in the bottled water.

I went to talk to the linguistics adviser today, and I have not been that tongue-tied and inarticulate in many years. Even when I get pulled into surprise arguments about religion or politics, I usually pronounce my words clearly even if I regret them later ( Read more... )

It takes me freaking two hours to write a three-sentence email, I can't stand myself. I've been hideously sleep deprived all weekend because of this correspondence with the university, because I freak out about not wanting to sound stupid or rude or flaky ( Read more... )