FIC: A Cinnamon Girl, 7/? (Buffy/Satsu)
Title: A Cinnamon Girl, 7/?
Author: Pat Kelly
Pairing: Buffy/Satsu
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1343
Summary: A slayer in love with another, who she knows needs a lot of it.
Spoilers: Up through S8, "Episode 6, Part I" (a.k.a, issue 12).
Disclaimer: Joss and FOX and DarkHorse. All is yours.
------------------------------------------------------------
“It’s irresponsible, Buffy,” Giles admonished, having pulled her aside from the commotion as everyone prepared to send the team off to Japan to rendezvous with Xander and a hopefully cooperative Dracula. “Everything we’ve begun here, everything we’re trying to accomplish, may be in very real danger of becoming undone. We don’t yet know if those vampires tonight were acting alone, or on this...’Twilight’s’ command, and we cannot afford to risk...”
He stopped himself, and chose brevity instead. “You ought to know better than to get involved with someone under your charge.”
“I’ve already dealt, okay? Before you got here, I told the girls, when we’re back, if they can kick Satsu’s ass, her spot’s theirs. Fair’n’simple. Nobody raised hands,” Buffy explained lightly, then arms crossed her chest. “I know what I’m doing, Giles. I know my team, and I know the sitch. The Dracuza have the Scythe. We *all* get what it means. That’s why I had Willow teleport you.”
She leaned against the wall in the long corridor they were halfway down. “She spilled, didn’t she?”
He leaned against its opposite and removed his glasses, inspecting the lenses as he spoke. “No, ah...Dawn did. Then mentioned something about being scarred for life. More so.”
Putting his glasses back on, he missed Buffy comically looking everywhere but at him. “I’d’ve thought Willow would have been able to...resize her by now.”
“’Cause she’s scary-powerful and with the flying?” Buffy smirked, not disagreeing. “She sorta, comes and goes anymore. Mostly goes. Guess she has better things.” She took a breath. “Hey, you wanna bring up the ‘Dawn’ issue? Go for it. But Buffy’s past her whole ‘dying’ phase.”
Her ex-watcher looked up the hall to the armory where the team was loading up, then he looked back at her, with the best parental worry he could muster. “I’m only saying--“
“Not that I should--considering the plan of you trying to have the last person I slept with killed--but I’m gonna offer,“ she interrupted, pushing off the wall. “You get to butt in and lecture me on my new girlfriend, if I get some answers about what the hell you had Faith doing in England, why none of us were in the loop, and why you two are best pals now.”
She didn’t give him time to respond, though. “Ooh! Almost forgot. Both names might start similar? But Satsu isn’t Spike...*don’t*.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed. And the way I chose to handle Spike...was a mistake, for which I’ve apologized. At the time, I was doing what I thought best for everyone. You most of all.” He was silent for a long beat. “I’ll continue to.“
“So no answers.” She turned to go back. “Figured.”
“Damn it, we aren’t in Sunnydale anymore,” he said sharply, and tried to walk ahead of her.
But she turned before he could, catching him off guard. “Gee, thanks for finally clueing me in, ‘Obvious Guy.’ How’d I miss that this whole time?”
“There are larger concerns than a single Hellmouth.” He felt close to exasperation, trying to make her understand. “Larger than any one vampire, a god...even the First. We have to be cautious, alert. Personal feelings must come second to keeping all this,” He gestured past her to the armory, but meant the whole operation, “from being destroyed. Dissention may not be a problem, fine. However, the last thing these young women need is their General...preoccupied.”
Her mouth formed a disbelieving, O. “Please tell me you didn’t just go there.” Eyes narrowed, and she stared him down. “When haven’t ‘personal feelings’ come second? My life? I *always* do my job...and me and my ‘personal feelings’ always pay for it. So sorry if I wanna be a little selfish for once. Until I hafta give her up, too.”
Her smile was both sad and proud. “If it meant all this’d stay safe--which, for the record, don’t see how it’d help--Satsu would walk away. Probably before me.”
Felt weird to say, given how long Satsu had had personal feelings, yet she believed it.
“Being a slayer means everything to her.”
He didn’t mean for it to sound how it had, he just didn’t know how to make it sound any other way. Not anymore. “I can imagine it does.”
She looked at him as though he had no idea what he was talking about--and he didn’t. “How can you if I can’t? And I’m leader.” Beat. “’Leader’ as in ‘Not General.’ People like leaders; that’s why they’re followed. They wanna shoot the General. That’s what you want me to be? Again?”
For not being Sunnydale, Buffy thought this conversation was very reminiscent of one
they’d had a couple weeks before it was devoured. Big picture, sacrifice, tough choices...he was all about the big picture. So much so, that he didn’t see the little pictures within.
Maybe she wasn’t as disconnected as she assumed. Compared to him, anyways. She’d do what she had to do, and she’d hurt over the cost. She’d see faces and have memories and, like she told Willow, care. No, not Sunnydale.
Would he care?
“You used to hate them. Now you are them,” she realized.
“Who?”
“The Council,” Buffy answered, despite them both knowing she didn’t need to. “Maybe you aren’t trapping drugged girls in houses with insane vampires on their birthdays, but I’ve heard how training goes. You have a balcony. You’re literally above, tea-drinking. You don’t get in the middle. It’s just technique and cold and...”
“You have your methods, I have mine. We each have our roles to play.” He tried his damndest to come across unbothered, like he saw nothing wrong with his approach.
“That means you stop being human? That’s a method?”
She was sensing a common theme with regards to certain members of her family--she didn’t know him. Pissed her off that she’d been trying so hard to be human and relate to people, and he’d given it up. Or so it seemed.
She wanted a reaction. Something other than “Big Picture”-speak. First she took a slow breath, then softly spoke, “There was this man once? Best man I’ve ever known actually, and he used to be my watcher. More than. He was the closest thing I had to a...”
Her voice cracked. Clearing her throat made that go away. “Past tense.” When she spoke again, the softness was gone. “Uh, so anyway, have you seen him? ‘Cause I can’t figure out where the fuck he went. Just know he isn’t here.”
There. Startled him.
“Yeah, cursing. I do that,” she informed him despite the redundancy.
Giles pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “What is it you want me to do?”
Buffy was more than ready with an answer. “I wanna know that when you’re talking about destruction prevention, it’s because you want these girls to have lives...not just because you wanna use ‘em to save lives that aren’t theirs. I want you to get that me happy with someone and having fun again, isn’t a reason to forget fighting, it’s why I need to remember to.”
She grabbed his wrist loosely. “Short version? I want you to be Giles.”
When he opened his eyes, she could see him in there somewhere. “Believe it or not, so do I.”
“If whatever you and Faith are up to brings you back, then loopless-ness is a problem I’ll cope with,” she maturely said. “Who knows? I’m in good mood, I might even thank her afterwards. Over the phone. ‘Cause she’ll be far away.”
This time when she turned he didn’t try to stop her, and she went to rejoin her team.
“If you don’t come back...” Her words simply hung there.
He watched as Satsu met her outside the open door. The Japanese girl seemed to whisper something that brought a smile to Buffy’s face. Then Buffy hugged her, strongly. He couldn’t help smiling himself while they continued in together, while simultaneously thinking about how she was more right then she knew.
That loop he’d kept her out of? He and Faith were going around, trying to help troubled slayers, relate to them. He was counting on it to do exactly what his surrogate daughter hoped. Perhaps then she’d consider giving him a second chance, and they wouldn’t go in circles.
Though first there was the Far East.
Author: Pat Kelly
Pairing: Buffy/Satsu
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1343
Summary: A slayer in love with another, who she knows needs a lot of it.
Spoilers: Up through S8, "Episode 6, Part I" (a.k.a, issue 12).
Disclaimer: Joss and FOX and DarkHorse. All is yours.
------------------------------------------------------------
“It’s irresponsible, Buffy,” Giles admonished, having pulled her aside from the commotion as everyone prepared to send the team off to Japan to rendezvous with Xander and a hopefully cooperative Dracula. “Everything we’ve begun here, everything we’re trying to accomplish, may be in very real danger of becoming undone. We don’t yet know if those vampires tonight were acting alone, or on this...’Twilight’s’ command, and we cannot afford to risk...”
He stopped himself, and chose brevity instead. “You ought to know better than to get involved with someone under your charge.”
“I’ve already dealt, okay? Before you got here, I told the girls, when we’re back, if they can kick Satsu’s ass, her spot’s theirs. Fair’n’simple. Nobody raised hands,” Buffy explained lightly, then arms crossed her chest. “I know what I’m doing, Giles. I know my team, and I know the sitch. The Dracuza have the Scythe. We *all* get what it means. That’s why I had Willow teleport you.”
She leaned against the wall in the long corridor they were halfway down. “She spilled, didn’t she?”
He leaned against its opposite and removed his glasses, inspecting the lenses as he spoke. “No, ah...Dawn did. Then mentioned something about being scarred for life. More so.”
Putting his glasses back on, he missed Buffy comically looking everywhere but at him. “I’d’ve thought Willow would have been able to...resize her by now.”
“’Cause she’s scary-powerful and with the flying?” Buffy smirked, not disagreeing. “She sorta, comes and goes anymore. Mostly goes. Guess she has better things.” She took a breath. “Hey, you wanna bring up the ‘Dawn’ issue? Go for it. But Buffy’s past her whole ‘dying’ phase.”
Her ex-watcher looked up the hall to the armory where the team was loading up, then he looked back at her, with the best parental worry he could muster. “I’m only saying--“
“Not that I should--considering the plan of you trying to have the last person I slept with killed--but I’m gonna offer,“ she interrupted, pushing off the wall. “You get to butt in and lecture me on my new girlfriend, if I get some answers about what the hell you had Faith doing in England, why none of us were in the loop, and why you two are best pals now.”
She didn’t give him time to respond, though. “Ooh! Almost forgot. Both names might start similar? But Satsu isn’t Spike...*don’t*.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed. And the way I chose to handle Spike...was a mistake, for which I’ve apologized. At the time, I was doing what I thought best for everyone. You most of all.” He was silent for a long beat. “I’ll continue to.“
“So no answers.” She turned to go back. “Figured.”
“Damn it, we aren’t in Sunnydale anymore,” he said sharply, and tried to walk ahead of her.
But she turned before he could, catching him off guard. “Gee, thanks for finally clueing me in, ‘Obvious Guy.’ How’d I miss that this whole time?”
“There are larger concerns than a single Hellmouth.” He felt close to exasperation, trying to make her understand. “Larger than any one vampire, a god...even the First. We have to be cautious, alert. Personal feelings must come second to keeping all this,” He gestured past her to the armory, but meant the whole operation, “from being destroyed. Dissention may not be a problem, fine. However, the last thing these young women need is their General...preoccupied.”
Her mouth formed a disbelieving, O. “Please tell me you didn’t just go there.” Eyes narrowed, and she stared him down. “When haven’t ‘personal feelings’ come second? My life? I *always* do my job...and me and my ‘personal feelings’ always pay for it. So sorry if I wanna be a little selfish for once. Until I hafta give her up, too.”
Her smile was both sad and proud. “If it meant all this’d stay safe--which, for the record, don’t see how it’d help--Satsu would walk away. Probably before me.”
Felt weird to say, given how long Satsu had had personal feelings, yet she believed it.
“Being a slayer means everything to her.”
He didn’t mean for it to sound how it had, he just didn’t know how to make it sound any other way. Not anymore. “I can imagine it does.”
She looked at him as though he had no idea what he was talking about--and he didn’t. “How can you if I can’t? And I’m leader.” Beat. “’Leader’ as in ‘Not General.’ People like leaders; that’s why they’re followed. They wanna shoot the General. That’s what you want me to be? Again?”
For not being Sunnydale, Buffy thought this conversation was very reminiscent of one
they’d had a couple weeks before it was devoured. Big picture, sacrifice, tough choices...he was all about the big picture. So much so, that he didn’t see the little pictures within.
Maybe she wasn’t as disconnected as she assumed. Compared to him, anyways. She’d do what she had to do, and she’d hurt over the cost. She’d see faces and have memories and, like she told Willow, care. No, not Sunnydale.
Would he care?
“You used to hate them. Now you are them,” she realized.
“Who?”
“The Council,” Buffy answered, despite them both knowing she didn’t need to. “Maybe you aren’t trapping drugged girls in houses with insane vampires on their birthdays, but I’ve heard how training goes. You have a balcony. You’re literally above, tea-drinking. You don’t get in the middle. It’s just technique and cold and...”
“You have your methods, I have mine. We each have our roles to play.” He tried his damndest to come across unbothered, like he saw nothing wrong with his approach.
“That means you stop being human? That’s a method?”
She was sensing a common theme with regards to certain members of her family--she didn’t know him. Pissed her off that she’d been trying so hard to be human and relate to people, and he’d given it up. Or so it seemed.
She wanted a reaction. Something other than “Big Picture”-speak. First she took a slow breath, then softly spoke, “There was this man once? Best man I’ve ever known actually, and he used to be my watcher. More than. He was the closest thing I had to a...”
Her voice cracked. Clearing her throat made that go away. “Past tense.” When she spoke again, the softness was gone. “Uh, so anyway, have you seen him? ‘Cause I can’t figure out where the fuck he went. Just know he isn’t here.”
There. Startled him.
“Yeah, cursing. I do that,” she informed him despite the redundancy.
Giles pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “What is it you want me to do?”
Buffy was more than ready with an answer. “I wanna know that when you’re talking about destruction prevention, it’s because you want these girls to have lives...not just because you wanna use ‘em to save lives that aren’t theirs. I want you to get that me happy with someone and having fun again, isn’t a reason to forget fighting, it’s why I need to remember to.”
She grabbed his wrist loosely. “Short version? I want you to be Giles.”
When he opened his eyes, she could see him in there somewhere. “Believe it or not, so do I.”
“If whatever you and Faith are up to brings you back, then loopless-ness is a problem I’ll cope with,” she maturely said. “Who knows? I’m in good mood, I might even thank her afterwards. Over the phone. ‘Cause she’ll be far away.”
This time when she turned he didn’t try to stop her, and she went to rejoin her team.
“If you don’t come back...” Her words simply hung there.
He watched as Satsu met her outside the open door. The Japanese girl seemed to whisper something that brought a smile to Buffy’s face. Then Buffy hugged her, strongly. He couldn’t help smiling himself while they continued in together, while simultaneously thinking about how she was more right then she knew.
That loop he’d kept her out of? He and Faith were going around, trying to help troubled slayers, relate to them. He was counting on it to do exactly what his surrogate daughter hoped. Perhaps then she’d consider giving him a second chance, and they wouldn’t go in circles.
Though first there was the Far East.