Comments | kh_drabble: Challenge [261]: Defiance

synchroshatter in kh_drabble

Challenge [261]: Defiance

May 11, 2011 19:58

Title: Defiance
Challenge: [261] Disobey
Word Count: 240
Notes: So there I was, wondering what to write about this week, when DiZ wandered in and was all like "ME!". In capitals. Because he's demanding like that.

( What greeted him instead was nothing. )

(challenge winner), synchroshatter

Comments 7

iki_teru May 11 2011, 19:23:15 UTC

eep! This was beautiful all the way through. I think you did a great job capturing the....DiZness of it all and then that last line just kind of gave me chiiills.

synchroshatter May 12 2011, 20:11:24 UTC

Thank you. ^-^ I find him interesting, even if I don't particularly like him, so I'm glad it came out OK!

yamikonumber7 May 11 2011, 20:58:37 UTC

O-oh my goodness this is amazing. I especially love the parallelism in the second and last lines. Just. Wow.

(Also, reading your notes gave me a mental image of DiZ just strolling into your living room. Just saying.)

synchroshatter May 12 2011, 20:14:23 UTC

Finishing it was the hardest part, but I kind of liked that line and figured reusing it wouldn't hurt. Glad you liked it! ^-^

(This is in fact exactly what happened, except it was a living room in my head and for some reason he sounded a bit like the giant brain in that episode of Futurama... XD)

yamikonumber7 May 12 2011, 21:18:46 UTC

Reusing it actually made it that much better. ♥

(I just keep thinking Hide yo' Heartless, hide yo' Nobodies for some reason. \O_o/)

minntaka May 12 2011, 08:33:27 UTC

I have to echo yamikonumber7's sentiments - I had a similar mental image as soon as I read your author's notes :o

I love this drabble - it was a very clever twist at the end and I totally wasn't expecting it. Great job! ♥

synchroshatter May 12 2011, 20:17:34 UTC

Diz is absolutely the sort of person who would do that. You know it makes sense. XD

And thanks! Once it occurred to me that maybe Ienzo has a few things in common with the younger Nobodies, I had to write it. Mostly because if I hadn't agreed with Diz, he might have sent creepy child!Ienzo after me.