Well it's been a while hasn't it?

Oct 03, 2010 03:05

Yeaaahhh no real excuse. I've not updated any journals. I feel beyond horrible about it.

I just sent in a really big confession that I'd like to post here too, for the sake of it not being anonymous SOMEWHERE:

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"Even as anonymous I feel ridiculous posting this but, there are times I watch the Boosh and for some reason I start to cry. I don't exactly know why. The show breaks my heart in the strangest way now. I still love it to death, and it will always make me laugh, but there are just those times when it gets to me in a different way.

It feels even more like a galaxy away now. A moment in time that happened then and can't ever properly happen again.

I can't see Noel as Vince anymore. I don't see the Howard in Julian that was once so obvious. Dave is so much more than a gorilla and random objects. Mike has really come into his own as a man; not the "twelve year old looking" shaman. And well...Rich is Rich.

I'm completely sensible enough to realize that time is ever ongoing, people change, they branch out & live their lives, things flourish & fade away...

Please understand, I know they're still working on so much Boosh stuff. I'm well aware, and excited! But this odd feeling deep inside me won't go. It's pulsing; evolving into a creature that will surely eat away at me through the inside out.

I wish I could explain myself better, cos I'm just not phrasing this in a way that won't go misinterpreted by, if not all of you, at least one will take offense and try to tell me how I'm being melodramatic and name off a list of shit that I already know. Can we all just skip that? Cheers.

I guess in deciding to make a lengthy confession I solved my original problem in the first section of this. How bittersweet."

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The sad thing is, I don't feel any better. Isn't confession good for the soul or some shit like that? Well, it does no good to me. (No wisecracks on my lack of a soul B| ) I just don't know anymore. I'm so drained by these men. Sometimes I just want to stop; stop caring about everything and everyone. Watch something with indifference. Listen to music without it rooting itself to me. Read something and not have it swim in my thoughts for weeks.

I don't know what to do *sigh*
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