Closing a chapter of my life

[katastraphy]

I always did regret how things turned out between me and Arch. I mean, we had a good relationship for awhile. And then the relationship ended and we didn't notice. And in all reality, we should have broken up then. Everything bad that happened between us was basically because we were too slow to notice that we weren't in love anymore

Comments

[terrant]

It's never easy letting go.

I don't think Sevvie's culling people jsut because of Arch. It's probably just as much to get rid of people she no longer talks to. I've though a bit about doing that myself but...jsut because I don't speak to some people often doesn't mean I don't care. Sometimes it's hard just to say hi, yaknow?

As to Arch...sorry hon but the way I read that...he didn't want to talk to you. Maybe not; maybe I'm seeing things wrong. But it seems like a classic evasion to me. Maybe in his case it's best to let it go.

[katastraphy]

Oh I know why Sev is culling, and I really wouldn't blame her for it.

Arch, on the other hand? I basically have let go. I don't expect to talk to him again. I just regret that I'll never understand why.

[terrant]

Remember you're talking about a guy who never was very good dealing with emotions. Or even with HAVING them. It's probably too weird and awkward for him to talk to you. Don't take it too personal. Some people just find it hard to translate from lover to friend.

[brother_malachi]

Yeah, the SO's ex isn't usually someone you want to spend time chatting with, even if you do get along. It's just sort of awkward.

Not getting proper closure sucks, I know. Sort of makes you keep wondering, long after the fact. Personally, remembering what you were putting up with back then, I'm still wondering why you didn't ditch him long before he cheated on/left you, and I think that severing the last remaining ties is an incredibly positive thing for you.

[katastraphy]

I think you planned on removing me among others because we have never talked since that time. I wouldn't blame you if you did.

I don't think you have control over Arch. God knows I didn't. Despite anything I may have said, nothing would make him talk to someone he decided to never speak to again. My best assumption is that he did this to me. I'm sorry if you thought I somehow blame you for this.

And yes, I'm going off one side. I don't know any other side. And no one will actually tell me his side.

[endlesslight]

Dude

[brother_malachi]

Stuff it. Your opinion means less than shit to anyone with half a brain in their head. I have my own reasons to view Arch and his relationship with Kat the way I do - my own discussions with both of them from that time. I do know how to wade through the he-said-she-said bullshit of a shitty relationship and maintain a friendship with both sides - or don't you remember that, you self-centered, neurotic freak?

In this case, I eventually learned enough about Arch - mostly from a single conversation directly with him - to lose any respect for him I ever had, especially in light of the fact that he chose to vanish shortly after. The end.

I agree with you that Arch and Kat were a horrific mismatch. In light of my most recent opinion on Arch, I'd say he's a horrific mismatch for anything with a pulse, but yeah, Kat specifically. I also agree that letting the past go is the best thing to do. And that Arch has always been among the worst communicators in history, where personal matters are concerned. Mostly, the only thing that I

[terrant]

OK I see this degenerating downhill fast, so god help me for putting my 2 cents in

[brother_malachi]

Y'know, this really isn't particularly drama-worthy. It's just Kat musing about ways parting. If people weren't overly sensitive about certain things, relevant and not, then this whole conversation wouldn't be happening.

For myself, I'm not going off one side. In fact, my perception of the whole scenario was colored by trying very hard to make sense of what was going on in a way that didn't make Arch look like a complete asshat. (Not that Kat was trying to make him look bad. Far from it. She always tried to blame herself for screwed up stuff.) It baffled me, but I was determined to give him the benefit of the doubt. And then I had a long conversation with him, focused mainly on trying to talk him out of a bizarre attitude of self-indulgent voluntary martyrdom where he blamed others when the consequences of his behavior conflicted with his goals. Of course, when he found himself actually facing criticism from me, he accused Kat of telling me nasty things about him, and immediately cut all ties to me. This, of course,