[ Juudai is starting to wonder whether everyone here has had something happen in their past. The kind of something you bury to keep from looking at it, bury it in dark places and forget about it as best you can. The only problem is, sometimes, burying these sorts of things just causes them to put down roots and grow. ]
It's really hard, sometimes, to protect the people you love.
[ Said softly, meant to sympathize; meant to comfort a little, in that sympathy. ]
[It's much, much later that Yuui responds. After breakfast and once Fai has settled into his studies and he's stepped out to the garden to gather the vegetables for their lunch and dinner.
He stills for a moment there, crouched beside the carrots and potatoes and sighs as he glances towards the open kitchen doors, where he can see Fai seated at the kotatsu.]
...and sometimes it's near impossible, but that doesn't stop the desire to keep trying.
[Who knew this rose had so many thorns. Then again he did feel something off about him and the few times they spoke only reinforced that feeling even more.]
Such an impressive display. Who would have thought?
[And his smile slips into something a little more sombre yet still a smiling visage like a carnival mask he tends to show to everyone around him.]
It seems mistakes of those who fight too hard to protect, don't vary from world to world.
[A smile then as he pulls another carrot from the earth and dusts it off, offers Break a slight smile. he knows very well just how much of himself his dream has shown and more than anything, he's still cursing the Hitomi for that - right along with his own mind's demand to make him relive all of his worst moments through his dreams.
He'd been used to it before, but having others see them?
That has him annoyed to no end. Especially now that Fai was there.]
I suppose it doesn't vary...though I'd like to think that some, at least, get it right. Eventually.
[Fai loves his studies, loves reading and learning. Before, it was an escape, a way to leave the stifling, lonely world and become something of the king he should have been. Now it was a simply joy, like the joy of a sprouting plant moved from shadow into the sun.
He looked up, from time to time, to see Yuui out in the grass, as if checking on him. Fai worried too, and some part of him needed to see Yuui safe and alive, close at hand. He might disappear, after all.
Yuui was looking at his Hitomi? Fai looked to his own, lying quiescent and sleeping beside his books. Yuui's face was the first little tile, and it was bright- a message from Yuui? Eagerly, he touched the machine, looked for the message and sat stunned, blindly clutching the Hitomi in nerveless fingers as the dream overtook him without warning.]
Yuu...i?
[The transmission is unintentional, trembling and uncertain. He's not looking at the Hitomi, he's looking out the sliding door, across the grass. Fai drops the device, and it lands in the book, but his hand still hangs
( ... )
[ Hearing his name in that stunned tone, in his brother's voice, has Yuui's eyes flicking up from the garden, glancing off the Hitomi to lock onto wide, brilliant cerulean ones across the yard.
His own eyes widen with a slow-dawning horror, swiftly followed by a heart-numbing shame and regret - because it could only be that dream.
That damning dream that showed him 'living' without Fai, showed him fighting and killing and failing their savior.
And for a moment, he simply can't breathe, is petrified of what his brother will think of his failures without him. But he's not entirely sure when he moves, doesn't feel the scrape and bite of rocks and soil as he lunges up to rush across the yard only to fall rather gracelessly to his knees before the slight form.
He gives his hands a hasty brushing off on his jeans before he reaches up, curls one around a frail shoulder, the other palmed against his twin's cheek. He has to try twice to actually speak though, the first attempt failing completely, before he manages a single whispered word.
( ... )
[Fai reaches out, meaning only to touch, but he can't seem to make his hands obey. Slowly, with stunned expression, he lays his palms against the fabric of Yuui's clothes. His arms are warm under Fai's hands, a residual flush from the garden's sun, and that heat is enough to set him to shivering. His fingers are like ice, his eyes wide and uncertain, and Fai realizes he's only staring at his hands.
Up. You must look up. You must look into his eyes! Dumbly, Fai follows his own instruction and looks up into Yuui's own pain-clouded expression.
I did this.
Fai inhales, meaning to speak, "I'm alright," or some other lie, but he'd been holding his breath and the influx of oxygen is dizzying. His hands clench at Yuui's shoulders and he bows to the spots dancing in front of his eyes, and gasps again, scaling up to panicked panting in a few breaths. There are tears in his eyes, and he's on his knees, begging.]
Tell me...it ends happy...tell me it's alright. Please. Please, Yuui. Please, I ca-can-
[He did this. He brought this pain on his beloved brother.
He's always the one to hurt Fai the most.
Each choppy, gasping breath, the sight of that slender back shuddering and trembling as he struggled for air, that shimmer of tears clouding those vibrantly beautiful cerulean eyes...the agitated shiver of his twins magic vibrating discordantly against his own - each one a sliver piercing his heart, bleeding him dry.
His own tears well over, burning guilty paths down his cheeks as he shakes his head in denial, cups his twin's face with the tenderest of touches.]
Shhh, my Fai... just breathe, my heart. Just take a breath for me.
[A shaky breath as an example before he leans in the rest of the way to press his forehead to his brother's, wills the every last ounce of the love he holds for this being into his magic as it curls protectively around Fai's frail form.
And then a watery smile as he whispers.]Because you know how it ends - here, with you. I'm alive again, because of you. Please...please don't cry. It was worth it, all of
( ... )
[The more that's uncovered about Yuui, the more sense everything makes.
This doesn't, of course, make Elliot any happier about Yuui's attitude towards himself, but it does explain things. So he can understand it, he can.
But he still just sees it as bad luck.
And it makes him angry, angry at the world, at life for being such a horrible place, for making people think this way, for always tearing things apart. It's so unfair how it ruins good people and how some get nothing but bad things and while for some things just seem to always go all fine and dandy. It sucks.
He wants to change how Yuui views things, he wants to change it really badly... Because it's just not okay, it pisses him off and, well... he came to care for Yuui somewhere down the road and doesn't want him to think like that
( ... )
[He'd wondered how long before Kurogane said something really, or if his friend would have looked at the Hitomi at all. And considering how the man is always calling him on his failure to share about his past or his pathological lying....
He can't say he's really surprised at all that he would use the opportunity granted.
Of course that doesn't mean that he's going to talk so freely, just because Kurogane finally saw some of his truths. So he cast Fai a quick glance, but his twin was still utterly engrossed in his studies, so he stepped to the outside door in the kitchen and leaned against the frame.
And then he offered the man a small smile and shrugged.]
Not really.
[A beat, before he cuts his eyes away.]
But... I guess you can ask your questions. Most of my truths are out there thanks to this thing anyways.
[Reaction | Action]misfortunesfoolJune 10 2011, 01:05:32 UTC
[He saw? What does he mean, he saw? This was their past, their memories. How could he haveseen them?
It didn't make sense to Yuui, at all, so he cast a quick glance to his brother, smiled at how intently he was concentrating, then tucked his Hitomi back into his back-pocket as he took off across the back yard.
He didn't say another word until he ducked around the tree currently hiding his friend, a bright smile curving his lips and his hands clasped behind his back.]
...Kuro-rin! Soooo, what do you mean by you 'saw most of it'? Have you been scrolling back through Mommy's dreams? That's not a nice thing for daddy to do~
Comments 50
It's really hard, sometimes, to protect the people you love.
[ Said softly, meant to sympathize; meant to comfort a little, in that sympathy. ]
Reply
He stills for a moment there, crouched beside the carrots and potatoes and sighs as he glances towards the open kitchen doors, where he can see Fai seated at the kotatsu.]
...and sometimes it's near impossible, but that doesn't stop the desire to keep trying.
Reply
[ Juudai's never had siblings, but he can try to imagine what it might be like. ]
He's your... brother? [ Meaning the young kid in this dream, the child who looked like a younger version of this man. ]
Reply
[A beat before he chuckles softly.]
He's my older brother, but you may have seen him on the Hitomi recently. He's here now...
Reply
Such an impressive display. Who would have thought?
[And his smile slips into something a little more sombre yet still a smiling visage like a carnival mask he tends to show to everyone around him.]
It seems mistakes of those who fight too hard to protect, don't vary from world to world.
Reply
[A smile then as he pulls another carrot from the earth and dusts it off, offers Break a slight smile. he knows very well just how much of himself his dream has shown and more than anything, he's still cursing the Hitomi for that - right along with his own mind's demand to make him relive all of his worst moments through his dreams.
He'd been used to it before, but having others see them?
That has him annoyed to no end. Especially now that Fai was there.]
I suppose it doesn't vary...though I'd like to think that some, at least, get it right. Eventually.
Reply
He looked up, from time to time, to see Yuui out in the grass, as if checking on him. Fai worried too, and some part of him needed to see Yuui safe and alive, close at hand. He might disappear, after all.
Yuui was looking at his Hitomi? Fai looked to his own, lying quiescent and sleeping beside his books. Yuui's face was the first little tile, and it was bright- a message from Yuui? Eagerly, he touched the machine, looked for the message and sat stunned, blindly clutching the Hitomi in nerveless fingers as the dream overtook him without warning.]
Yuu...i?
[The transmission is unintentional, trembling and uncertain. He's not looking at the Hitomi, he's looking out the sliding door, across the grass. Fai drops the device, and it lands in the book, but his hand still hangs ( ... )
Reply
His own eyes widen with a slow-dawning horror, swiftly followed by a heart-numbing shame and regret - because it could only be that dream.
That damning dream that showed him 'living' without Fai, showed him fighting and killing and failing their savior.
And for a moment, he simply can't breathe, is petrified of what his brother will think of his failures without him. But he's not entirely sure when he moves, doesn't feel the scrape and bite of rocks and soil as he lunges up to rush across the yard only to fall rather gracelessly to his knees before the slight form.
He gives his hands a hasty brushing off on his jeans before he reaches up, curls one around a frail shoulder, the other palmed against his twin's cheek. He has to try twice to actually speak though, the first attempt failing completely, before he manages a single whispered word. ( ... )
Reply
Up. You must look up. You must look into his eyes! Dumbly, Fai follows his own instruction and looks up into Yuui's own pain-clouded expression.
I did this.
Fai inhales, meaning to speak, "I'm alright," or some other lie, but he'd been holding his breath and the influx of oxygen is dizzying. His hands clench at Yuui's shoulders and he bows to the spots dancing in front of his eyes, and gasps again, scaling up to panicked panting in a few breaths. There are tears in his eyes, and he's on his knees, begging.]
Tell me...it ends happy...tell me it's alright. Please. Please, Yuui. Please, I ca-can-
I-I can't bear it.
Reply
He's always the one to hurt Fai the most.
Each choppy, gasping breath, the sight of that slender back shuddering and trembling as he struggled for air, that shimmer of tears clouding those vibrantly beautiful cerulean eyes...the agitated shiver of his twins magic vibrating discordantly against his own - each one a sliver piercing his heart, bleeding him dry.
His own tears well over, burning guilty paths down his cheeks as he shakes his head in denial, cups his twin's face with the tenderest of touches.]
Shhh, my Fai... just breathe, my heart. Just take a breath for me.
[A shaky breath as an example before he leans in the rest of the way to press his forehead to his brother's, wills the every last ounce of the love he holds for this being into his magic as it curls protectively around Fai's frail form.
And then a watery smile as he whispers.]Because you know how it ends - here, with you. I'm alive again, because of you. Please...please don't cry. It was worth it, all of ( ... )
Reply
This doesn't, of course, make Elliot any happier about Yuui's attitude towards himself, but it does explain things. So he can understand it, he can.
But he still just sees it as bad luck.
And it makes him angry, angry at the world, at life for being such a horrible place, for making people think this way, for always tearing things apart. It's so unfair how it ruins good people and how some get nothing but bad things and while for some things just seem to always go all fine and dandy. It sucks.
He wants to change how Yuui views things, he wants to change it really badly... Because it's just not okay, it pisses him off and, well... he came to care for Yuui somewhere down the road and doesn't want him to think like that ( ... )
Reply
Oi. You wanna talk about it?
[Yuui probably won't. That had never stopped Kurogane before.]
Reply
He can't say he's really surprised at all that he would use the opportunity granted.
Of course that doesn't mean that he's going to talk so freely, just because Kurogane finally saw some of his truths. So he cast Fai a quick glance, but his twin was still utterly engrossed in his studies, so he stepped to the outside door in the kitchen and leaned against the frame.
And then he offered the man a small smile and shrugged.]
Not really.
[A beat, before he cuts his eyes away.]
But... I guess you can ask your questions. Most of my truths are out there thanks to this thing anyways.
Reply
Yeah, this place doesn't really like us having secrets.
[A considering silence as he ponders what to say next.]
The thing is…I saw most of it, when we went to Celes. You and Fai, and what they did to you.
[His face darkens as he remembers.]
You know…it's not your fault. None of it is.
Reply
It didn't make sense to Yuui, at all, so he cast a quick glance to his brother, smiled at how intently he was concentrating, then tucked his Hitomi back into his back-pocket as he took off across the back yard.
He didn't say another word until he ducked around the tree currently hiding his friend, a bright smile curving his lips and his hands clasped behind his back.]
...Kuro-rin! Soooo, what do you mean by you 'saw most of it'? Have you been scrolling back through Mommy's dreams? That's not a nice thing for daddy to do~
Reply
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