[H02] LOVE ME
Prompt Code: H02
Title: Love Me
Rating: NC-17
Side Pairings (if any): N/A
Warnings: mention of depression
Word Count: 2.9k
Summary:Kyungsoo is the high to Jongin’s low. His rock, his protection, and the love of his life.
AU: Based on Eat by Zion.T
AN: I hope this is what you wanted!
Jongin's fingers drum against his thighs, not in a particular rhythm that is absentminded or calm. Rather, his fingers tap against his jeans disorderly, eyes flickering back and forth, back and forth while everything else falls on deaf ears. His pulsed erratically inside his chest, the feeling of comfort foreign and a wave of nausea washes over him in waves of speed.
The blanket atop is too heavy for his body and worsens his weakened state of mind. His eyes are screwed shut tight and the pounding of his heart fills his ears. Faintly he can hear the soft hum of his husband in the shower, as per usual, and the foreground of rain hitting the tiled floor. However, these sounds fade back out into the darkness that is Jongin's thoughts when his anxiety takes over.
Minutes later and the shower stops but his thoughts don't clear out, they never do.
Jongin presses his lips into a thin line and wiggles his arms slightly but not to rouse or give a hint that he is awake. Of course, he has to get up and ready in a half hour before his hour ride to work in the city. He never understood why they didn't move out to the country instead, and even though it would be an even longer commute, it would be quieter. Additionally, he wouldn't have to be cramped in a bus full of strangers, eyeing him, sizing him up, he could feel all of their stares.
He jumps ever so slightly when a weight presses down on his side of the bed. A wet damp hand touches his cheek and he stirs a bit, eyes opening as if to pretend that he had just woken. Kyungsoo may have had bad eyesight but he could always read Jongin.
Jongin stares up at his husband, one ear tingling, focused on the buzzing and ringing sound while the other is calmed by the sound of his husband's steady breathing. His eyes fixated on radiating warmth and a smile that puts him at ease.
Kyungsoo reaches out and runs his palm through the front of Jongin's hair, cooing as he does and gingerly setting his other hand on the silhouette of Jongin's knee. He bends over, careful not to add pressure to Jongin's sensitive body, and whispers; "It's time to wake up, slugabed. You have work today." He smiles knowingly, waiting for his husband to groan and simultaneously hide beneath the sheets like a flustered child.
And Jongin does.
He pulls the blanket over his head suddenly ( it's a routine by now ) and begins to whine, eyes shutting tight and legs falling limp while being uncomfortably sweaty. It's too hot underneath but Jongin doesn't care, he cannot simply, physically or mentally bring himself to get out of bed. Though he has seen a counselor and taken various medications for his depression, his anxiety only seems to get worse.
Most days he wakes up and stares at the white ceiling, fingers clutched to his white sheets and praying that his husband doesn't walk back and forth in front of the bedroom, irritated that his husband is too lazy to get out of bed. But Kyungsoo is forgiving, understanding, and he makes sure to help Jongin instead of pressuring him or showing any signs of aggravation as much as he can.
Kyungsoo is a stay at home artist, working from home and only from home. Unlike Jongin he has the ability to create his own schedule and workplace, a small room they cleaned out from storage just so Kyungsoo has his own den to work in.
Kyungsoo is slow and careful towards Jongin, making sure he doesn't slip up, but there are even times when he's said the wrong thing. Jongin has run away more than a few times but it's no wonder he comes crawling back. Kyungsoo is his rock, his hope, his medicine, his everything. Without Kyungsoo, there is no Jongin. Jongin isn't independent enough to live, to breathe or to eat or shower, not even a voice to call his own. But Kyungsoo helps him make one.
Kyungsoo hums low,a song Jongin has heard multiple times before he's fallen asleep. His eyes flutter open for a moment and his lips open, parting to breathe in hot air. His fingers twitch nervously on the edges of the blanket and his toes curl. He wants to, so badly, to pull the covers off but his arms fall limp before he can do so. Today, he will admit defeat.
"Jongin," Kyungsoo offers to his husband, "If you get up now you will have enough time to give me those 'good morning' kisses you've always wanted to give me."
Jongin doesn't move, nor speak.
Kyungsoo tries again; "Jongin," he coos, his hand on Jongin's thigh moves up and down soothingly. Jongin responds, moving beneath the blanket, gasping softly.
"I know, honey." Kyungsoo says.
Jongin shakes his head beneath the covers. 'You don't.'
"I understand that it's hard and that you don't want to, but trust me when I say that it can only get better if you try. I didn't get over my fear of the dark by keeping a light on the rest of my life. I got used to the dark and I faced it, and It's going to take time but I'm here." Kyungsoo dips his head down and presses it against the outline of Jongin's face.
Jongin holds in his breath, sneaking out one hand from under the covers to grasp Kyungsoo's. His hands shake nervously but Kyungsoo takes his hand confidently, squeezing it tight.
Kyungsoo smiles to himself and moves to pull the blanket off of Jongin's face but halters when he notices Jongin flinch.
"If you really don't want to go, I won't force you too. But we do need to practice getting out of bed, alright?" He questions the latter, squeezing his husbands hand again. "Like I said, I'm here."
Jongin bites his lip and attempts to move his numb legs o find that his arms are cold and limp as well. As if there had been some kind of lump in his throat, it began to get bigger. Tears swelled at his eyes and he let out an audible whimper.
Kyungsoo pressed his forehead against Jongin's again, lips turning down and his other hand reaching beneath the covers to steal Jongin's other empty one. He held both of Jongin's hands, massaging the latter's fingers. It was one of Jongin's favorite things. He loved the way Kyungsoo held his hand, the way he treated them like glass and the way he rubbed them as if they were the most precious things in the world. He felt treasured, always.
Jongin timidly retracts his hands and holds them to his chest, heart thumping louder than he had recalled. Only he could hear everything now, including the sound of his husband's labored breathing. He sounds concerned, nerved even.
He holds the edge of the blanket and slowly draws it away from the top of his head, down to his neck where he stops. He stares blankly up at his husband who sits next to him, looking at him from above. What if he needs to shower, what if he looks terrible? His chest gets tighter, his throat closes in, and before he knows it, Kyungsoo is holding his hands again.
"Shh, baby," Kyungsoo murmurs to him. "It's okay," he responds delicately, eyes as warm and calming as ever.
Jongin takes one hand back and reaches to the back of his husband's head, locking his fingers through brunette hair and dragging Kyungsoo's head down to meet him in a frantic, slobbery and unprepared kiss.
Slowly, but surely they find a rhythm, and find that their lips lock together as long as they can hold their breaths. Which isn't long, but Jongin is feeling greedy. He needs a distraction.
Kyungsoo obliges.
Hair disheveled and clothes lost underneath their blanket on the floor, Jongin holds Kyungsoo around the waist as he lays beneath his husband. Kyungsoo sits on Jongin's hips with his fingers digging gently into the blade of Jongin's shoulders as he holds him down. Out of breath from their recent lip-lock session, Jongin's eyes begin to water again.
"I'm so s-" Jongin begins, interrupted then by Kyungsoo's index finger. His eyes widen, then flutter closed for a moment as Kyungsoo retracts his "shush" finger, as Jongin likes to call it. ( Jongin likes to ramble, sometimes ).
"It's just one day, Jongin. If your boss gets angry tell him to call me and I'll settle it," Kyungsoo retorts curtly. "But you need this day off, I know it. But I won't go easy on you tomorrow, Jongin." Kyungsoo smiles, poking Jongin on the cheek.
Jongin winces and pouts to himself, eyes moving down and straying on Kyungsoo's meat-y stomach. His hand comes from behind Kyungsoo's back to smooth over Kyungsoo's bulging gut, smiling to himself when he squeezes.
Kyungsoo's reaction is as always, because even Kyungsoo has an insecure side of him, slapping Jongin's hand away while mumbling under his breath. Jongin likes Kyungsoo's shy side, even if they've already been married for four years and they know the worst of each other.
Kyungsoo stares him down but he pays no mind, instead wrapping his hand firmly around Kyungsoo's cock, looking up to see Kyungsoo's flustered expression. Cheeks as red as a rose and an ungodly baffled expression that otherwise makes him want to laugh. But it also happens to be endearing, attractive as well.
Jongin tugs once on Kyungsoo cock to get him going, tongue poking out between his lips to wet them. His erection pokes between Kyungsoo's taut ass cheeks. He grinds up but is pushed down by his hips by Kyungsoo who moans when the tip of Jongin's cock presses into his entrance. He bites back several other moans when Jongin becomes relentless, frantic to keep going.
"This isn't about me," Kyungsoo replies hastily. His fingers dig into Jongin's hip bones, and in other times it would have hurt, but Jongin finds that it fuels him even more. His neediness reaching a higher level,
'"It's your turn," Kyungsoo growls, "So just lay back and enjoy."
Jongin relaxes his shoulders and lets his head fall back onto his pillow, and his arms remain loose at his sides. He squares his jaw and swallows any of the remaining saliva in his mouth, his throat too dry for a response to be made.
Kyungsoo just nods and sits up on Jongin's lap, staring his husband in the eyes with intensity as he ghosts the tip of his fingers up, and then down Jongin's chest. He starts by hovering them over the hairs of Jongin's chest ( there aren't a lot, and Kyungsoo thinks Jongin is still a baby ), and waiting for Jongin to get goosebumps. He loves when he puts Jongin on edge, leaving him restless and uncomfortable until he can't take it any longer.
Then he presses his palms flat and drags them very slow down Jongin's chest, pausing at his abdomen and trailing back up. His index fingers and thumbs pinch Jongin's erect buds, rolling them teasingly while he looks back up to Jongin's face to see his reaction.
Jongin squirms beneath his husbands touch, and not even four years is long enough to get used to the way he is manhandled by the man he loves and treasures the most. Kyungsoo is always gentle, kind, and he never pushes too far even when Jongin asks for it. Kyungsoo is too good for him, Jongin believes. Kyungsoo deserves more.
Kyungsoo removes his bottom weight and moves back so that he sits on Jongin's mid-thigh and knees, eyes locked onto Jongin's cock that stands up, twitching. He looks back at Jongin and hums under his breath, grinning like a sly fox.
"Already?" He teases, eyes fluttering open and closed.
Jongin curses and grips Kyungsoo's hips with both hands. His fingers dig into Kyungsoo's curve, making sure to fondle every inch of extra skin and fat that he's come to love. He loves Kyungsoo's body incredibly so, and reminds Kyungsoo every day when he has the chance, even if Kyungsoo flushes red and argues with him that "fat isn't handsome", but Jongin can disagree.
Kyungsoo reaches for Jongin's cock but pauses, looking in Jongin's eyes as he does. He gets onto his knees and gets up from their bed, barely batting an eye to his husband who lays quietly on the bed, waiting like a nervous wreck.
Jongin writhes in the sheets, the air too cold for his skin but the sheets reek of sweat and are too hot. He cannot find the middle ground, but he figures it all will be a simple thought when Kyungsoo returns.
Kyungsoo returns with a bottle in hand and a condom in the latter, eyes bright with what Jongin likes to think are not specks of light or a reflection, but actual stars.
Jongin holds his arms out and Kyungsoo jumps back onto the bed and into his earlier position. His hand is coated with the lubricant, then coating the full length of Jongin's cock top to bottom. He twists his hand skillfully, finding content when Jongin squirms even more, a moaning mess when Kyungsoo starts to flick his wrist.
When Jongin's cock is hard and red to Kyungsoo's liking ( he won't put it his mouth because they both know that's only what Kyungsoo likes and Jongin isn't too confident about it yet ), he raises his hips and puts his weight on squatting. One hand continues to stroke Jongin's cock and the other with his index finger that is coated with lube, pressing against his hole, probing and rolling over the rim. Kyungsoo was always a tease, even to himself.
Jongin watches, eyes feasting on the lewd sight. This was and will always be a good distraction. He can no longer bring himself to think about work, or his obnoxious colleagues, not when he's being presented with the most beautiful and heavenly gift.
Kyungsoo presses one finger in, stretching slowly and carefully knowing that he can take his time. Jongin was never one to rush Kyungsoo, and only because he didn't want Kyungsoo to rush, get hurt or ruin the mood. They were gentle lovers to say the least.
Kyungsoo takes it to the next step and adds another. To Jongin's awe, he adds a third immediately after. Jongin shakes his head but Kyungsoo shushes him again, index finger pressed against his partner's lips before pressing in and playing with the top of the latter's tongue. Jongin closes his mouth and sucks on Kyungsoo's finger in response, eating up Kyungsoo's moans hungrily.
After a fourth finger Kyungsoo is too tired of waiting and pours more lubricant onto his hand, leaving some to drop onto Jongin's twitching cock and the rest into his puckered hole, He hurriedly, though his fingers shake, break open the condom and his fingers are quick to roll down the condom onto Jongin's cock. He lowers himself onto his lover and muffles his moans with the back of his hand, eyes shut tight and knees wobbling on each side of Jongin's legs.
Jongin grabs Kyungsoo's legs, spreading them and gently caressing his husband's ( lovely ) thighs, massaging and making circles to comfort the latter as he transitions into that position. He waits patiently, cooing softly and encouraging Kyungsoo to take his time.
Kyungsoo bites his lower lip and bends forward to grasp Jongin's hips once more, picking up his lower body to then lower his body back down. He repeats this action, raising his head and tipping his head back to let the sounds and crude words fall from between his lips as he rides Jongin, fingers digging deeper into his husbands skin,
Jongin feels the trill, hands roaming up and down Kyungsoo's chest and he does his best to keep his hips down, as to not surprise his lover or throw off their rhythm. Instead he places one hand on Kyungsoo's cheek, leading the latter so that their lips meet in a frenzy, tongues passionately clashing and twisting together as they moan into their mouths.
Jongin holds Kyungsoo's hips, while Kyungsoo rolls his hips deliberately as Jongin likes, his hand pressing onto his tongue to hide the sounds that he makes. Slowly he picks up speed, the sound of their skin slapping together only fuels him more as Jongin begins to buck his hips into Kyungsoo, meeting him in the middle.
"Fuck, Jongin-" Kyungsoo rasps out, head thrown back and sweat trickling down his collarbones.
"Am I hurting you-" Jongin begins, only to be washed out by Kyungsoo's urgent response.
Kyungsoo takes Jongin by the hair roughly, something he's never done before, and leans in close ( his body doesn't like the position and his stomach recoils slightly ) to speak directly, "Harder," he coaxes.
Jongin lifts Kyungsoo's hips almost immediately, even so that his cock springs out of Kyungsoo before he brings his husband back down onto his cock, smothering his neck with kisses as he holds Kyungsoo closer to his body.
Kyungsoo screams out loud given that he's ejaculated onto Jongin's stomach. Jongin continues to ride out his own orgasm, again holding Kyungsoo's hips down and rocking his own into Kyungsoo's. He pulls out as Kyungsoo doubles over on him, adding a heavy weight to his chest and their mixed semen spread and stuck to their naked bodies.
Kyungsoo breathes heavily on Jongin, eyes shut and lips parted as he catches his breath. He lifts his head slowly, smiling bashfully at his husband who finds it hard to find air to fill his lungs.
"I wouldn't mind if this was an everyday thing, you know."