[H39] SUMMER BOYS
Prompt Code: H39
Title: Summer Boys
Rating: pg-13
Side Pairings (if any): Baekhyun/Sehun
Warnings: Mention of alcohol
Word Count: 7.4k
AU: Youth by Troye Sivan
Summary: With every stop on their road trip, Kyungsoo finds one more reason to love Jongin.
AN: this road trip takes place in South Korea, I did my best to research the locations and mold them with the story I had in my head but I’m sure it’s not 100% accurate so I apologize in advance for any (inevitable) inaccuracies!
“Baekhyun, lets go.”
“Go where?”
“Anywhere. After exams, lets just get out of here.”
“Okay.”
-
Kyungsoo rolled down the window of Baekhyun’s car as the two of them waited outside of Sehun’s apartment. The sunlight hit his face and blinded his vision but he didn’t mind. He stuck his head out the window and closed his eyes, focusing on the warmth on his skin. It would be the four of them: Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Sehun, and Jongin. One week to drive around the country with no particular places to go other than a few approximate locations to spend the night. It was a good way to start the summer vacation; they had a week to themselves where time didn’t matter and reality was put on hold. Kyungsoo planned to relish every moment of it.
“Ah, there they are.” Baekhyun said. He pressed the button in his car to unlock the trunk. Kyungsoo opened his eyes and watched Sehun and Jongin leave their apartment lobby with duffle bags in their hands. They put their bags into the trunk. Sehun took a seat at the front next to Baekhyun while Jongin sat in the back with Kyungsoo.
“Hey hyung,” Jongin greeted the older boy as he put on his seatbelt. Kyungsoo smiled back in reply. “How were your exams?”
“Does it matter?”
“You’re right.” Jongin laughed. Kyungsoo didn’t know Jongin very well. They were friends mostly because Sehun and Baekhyun were friends so the younger boy had always been labelled as ‘Sehun’s roommate’ in Kyungsoo’s head. When Baekhyun invited Sehun to their road trip, Sehun had asked if Jongin could join them. Kyungsoo didn’t mind though, he figured anyone that could put up with Sehun had to be a saint (almost as saintly as Kyungsoo was for putting up with Baekhyun).
They didn’t leave Seoul until much later in the day. They had planned to go a few places to pick up snacks, drinks, and other necessities before they left. Most of the areas they had planned to go to were a part of South Korea’s countryside so they intended to stock up in Seoul before they left. Baekhyun carried around a list of things they needed and, with Sehun, sped through department and grocery stores to find everything leaving Kyungsoo and Jongin trailing a mile behind the two boys. It gave Kyungsoo the opportunity to get to know Jongin better and overcome that initial bit of formality and awkwardness that came in a relationship. He was a year younger than Kyungsoo, the same age as Sehun. He was a business major, had three dogs that were still at his parent’s house (to his dismay), he was a dancer, and he had a nice smile. That last one was more of an observation on Kyungsoo’s part.
-
In Chungcheongnam, Kyungsoo learned that Jongin didn’t like fireworks.
They left Seoul by the late afternoon and drove towards Chungcheongnam. About five minutes into the drive Jongin dozed off. Kyungsoo wondered how the boy managed to fall asleep so soundly with Baekhyun and Sehun’s awful rendition of Dangerous Women in the background. Kyungsoo found it impressive at the very least. Jongin’s face pressed against his seatbelt and squished his cheek making them all laugh. Kyungsoo, who always enjoyed documenting his trips with plenty of photos, captured the moment on his phone.
“I’m really sorry I fell asleep.” Jongin mumbled later as he got out of the car. They arrived at the motel they’d be staying at for the night. He went into Baekhyun’s trunk to help get some of the bags.
“It’s alright, did you not sleep well last night?” Kyungsoo asked, following behind him.
“He slept fine, Jongin isn’t a big fan of staying awake. He’ll sleep the whole day if you let him.” Sehun interjected.
“But Sehun never lets me.” Jongin replied, pouting. Sehun side eyed the boy before going into the motel room. Their room was small with two beds. They settled on Baekhyun and Kyungsoo sharing one bed while Sehun and Jongin shared the other. There wasn’t much there but it didn’t matter since they were only staying a night. After putting their bags in the room, they headed out to Ggotji beach.
The beach was beautiful in the evening. There were still plenty of people there but they all huddled around one area making the rest of the beach vacant. There was a local festival going on tonight and people were in the midst of setting up fireworks.
Kyungsoo took a seat in the sand and watched the sun slowly set. Ggotji beach was said to have a beautiful view of the sunset and it did. Kyungsoo always found the sea to be mesmerizing in the evening. His eyes followed the waves that fell forward and receded back. Soon it was all he could focus on - all he could hear. He watched the waves come and go with a back drop of red and orange and yellow until Jongin sat down next to him and interrupted his trance like state.
He smiled at the boy and Jongin smiled back. Kyungsoo could see Sehun and Baekhyun with some of the people in the city prepping a line of fireworks. They continued to sit together in silence, it didn’t seem to bother either of the boys. Kyungsoo sort of liked that.
When the sun finally set the first firework went off. Kyungsoo almost missed it the first time. Then the second and third went off, creating coloured lights in the sky and that’s when Kyungsoo noticed Jongin’s startled reaction.
“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asked into Jongin’s ear. With fireworks blasting off and everyone’s loud reactions, the beach became much louder than when they arrived.
“Yeah, sorry. I don’t really like fireworks, I always get so jumpy.” Jongin replied, rubbing his neck. He smiled at Kyungsoo apologetically. Another firework went off making Jongin reflexively flinch again.
“I remember seeing a convenience store around here. Do you want to come with me to get something to drink?” Kyungsoo asked. He got up and dusted the sand off his shorts. The other boy looked at him with relief.
“Sure.”
They got off the beach and walked down the street to convenience store. Jongin had misplaced his sandals somewhere in the sand and decided to forgo them and walk there bare feet. Kyungsoo spent most of the walk staring at the ground cautiously in fear of Jongin stepping on something sharp.
They leave the convenience store, Kyungsoo with a can of pop and Jongin with a popsicle. There was a bench right next to the store so they decided to sit there instead of returning to the beach. From here, Kyungsoo still enjoyed the fireworks while keeping a respectable distance away to ensure the loud sounds didn’t bother Jongin.
“Thanks.” Jongin let out a deep breath. He turned to Kyungsoo and smiled. Something about Jongin’s smile, the fireworks, the cool ocean breeze - it made Kyungsoo feel strange in his stomach. But in a good way.
“It’s fine, I was thirsty anyway.” Kyungsoo replied. He wasn’t really, he didn’t know why he said that.
The fireworks continued to shoot up into the sky, exploding red and green and blue into the black night. Kyungsoo enjoyed them; they were celebratory. He didn’t know what the festival was for but he did know that he had just finished his second last year of university. It was a tough year and the next year would only be worse. Today was a celebration of their temporary freedom.
He pulled out his phone and tried to take a picture of the fireworks. Not surprisingly, the lights burst too fast for Kyungsoo to capture. Jongin laughed at Kyungsoo’s failed attempts which were nothing more than blurry black photos. So he took a photo of Jongin instead, a popsicle in his mouth and the streetlight illuminating his face just enough for his camera to capture.
-
At Gwangju, Kyungsoo learned Jongin moved around way too much in his sleep.
After spending the night by beach, they set off to Gwangju. They drove to Mudeungsan, a local mountain, to spend the day hiking. It was mostly Baekhyun’s idea and Kyungsoo was dreading it the entire ride there. He was not much of a hiker, more specifically: he was not much of a mover. Of course, he enjoyed visiting new places and trying new things but hiking was unbearably strenuous. Baekhyun, however, was their driver so Kyungsoo didn’t have much say in the decision.
There was an clear cut path to follow that would take them up the mountain and a separate one that would take them down. The weather was pleasant; the sun wasn’t beating down on them and there was a cool breeze which Kyungsoo found soothing. Although the path was relatively wide, they ended up walking in a mostly single file line. Baekhyun and Sehun, with all their expendable energy, hiked ahead while Kyungsoo was straggling behind, and Jongin was somewhere in between. He walked up the mountain but kept turning back, giving Kyungsoo worrisome looks and asking if the boy needed to take a break (with Kyungsoo’s stubborn pride the answer had always been no).
Despite the physical and mental strain Kyungsoo had endured, he couldn’t help but be in awe with the scenery. They walked through a thick forest with tall, thin trees that shot up high. They were tangled in messes of plants that wrapped around every inch of the forest like vines. Everywhere he looked it was green, green, and green. It was like a foreign world to Kyungsoo who spent all his life in Seoul. He came from a world where broken souls littered the concrete ground but this, this was grand and untouched.
It was also this: Jongin, in front of him, blending into the scenery so effortlessly like he belonged there. It was the dragonfly that rested on his finger, the whistling that harmonized with the birds over head, and stupid nature jokes he told to keep the group entertained (“What kind of flower grows on your face? Tulips!”).
When they reached the top of the mountain, Kyungsoo was thoroughly done for the day. The scenery was beautiful but he had seen enough to satisfy his curious heart. They still needed to hike down the mountain, Kyungsoo knew, but he pushed the miserable thought away to the back of his mind.
“Hey, are you okay?” Baekhyun asked as Kyungsoo chugged down a bottle of water.
“I’m dead, I’m literally dead. Baekhyun, you’re carrying my body down this mountain.” Kyungsoo replied earning a laugh from the other boy. He wasn’t joking though. In some cruel way, Kyungsoo knew Baekhyun enjoyed watching him suffer like this. It was revenge for all those times Kyungsoo denied Baekhyun’s offers to go on morning jogs.
He took a seat on the grassy field of the mountain and stared down at everything below and beyond him. The wind cooled his skin and he was finally able to catch his breath again. There was an acute feeling of grandiosity in his bones when he gazed down and felt like he was on top of the world. Everything in front of him became blurred shades green and brown and blue. It felt strange.
“Feels weird right?” Kyungsoo turned his head to the voice, it was Jongin. He wasn’t sure when the younger boy sat down next to him.
“What feels weird?” Kyungsoo asked.
“Feeling like you’re on top of the world, I mean what college kid ever feels like that?” Jongin replied, chuckling. He looked ahead at the rolling fields in front of them. It did feel weird, Kyungsoo was all too familiar with feeling of being at the bottom, down in the dirt. Kyungsoo watched as the breeze carefully carded through Jongin’s blond hair. He stared at Jongin’s caramel skin and the sweat gathering on his forehead. He watched his body glisten under the sunlight. All these details he saw so vividly. Suddenly, the scenery in front of him became less interesting than the one next to him.
“Is summer your favourite season?” Jongin asked. He reached for Kyungsoo’s hair, running his fingers through the strands and removing a small leaf that had been stuck there. “You always look like you’re enjoying the sun no matter hot it gets.”
“I love summer. Everything is alive and buzzing. It’s bright and colourful.” Kyungsoo replied, nodding. “What about you?”
“I actually like winter.” Jongin replied. He hesitated for a moment, trying to gather his words. “There’s a sort of warmth you get only when it’s cold. The warm blankets, thick sweaters, hot chocolate, all that stuff. I like that.”
Kyungsoo was a little surprised. Jongin looked like the perfect child of the sun. Everything about him was sunny and golden. He imagined Jongin tucked in a thick winter jacket and a long scarf. He imagined getting hot chocolate with Jongin, he imagined whipped cream on his lips. Kyungsoo felt like he understood.
After a long break, they climbed back down. The hike down was bearable compared to the hike up but it still left Kyungsoo exhausted to his bones when they finished. It was just past the evening when they returned to their motel. They took turns taking showers and went out for dinner.
“Hey Kyungsoo, do you mind if I share the bed with Baekhyun? I’m tall and Jongin’s tall so it’s not working very well.” Sehun asked as they heading back to their motel.
“Yeah, no problem.” Kyungsoo replied. He didn’t hesitate to say yes because he knew that Baekhyun and Sehun were in that weird state in their relationship where the two were clearly aware of their feeling for each other but neither had made a move. Kyungsoo assumed this might help speed up the process. He only realized after he entered the room that Sehun and Baekhyun sharing a bed also meant he was going to share a bed with Jongin. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
After a restless day, they all retired to bed almost immediately after dinner. By midnight the lights were out and soon after Kyungsoo could hear Jongin’s steady breathing next to him. Kyungsoo tried to will himself to sleep but to no avail. He opened his eyes and watched Jongin instead. The moonlight that filtered through the blinds next to their bed outlined his profile softly. Kyungsoo could make out his nose and lips and the dip down to his neck.
The night only got worse as Jongin began to toss in bed. He’d lazily roll over to Kyungsoo and stop a breath away from the older boy, letting his limbs fall over him. Kyungsoo tried to stay calm but his heart was beating faster than he’d like to admit. He almost feared that the loud thumping of his heart alone would wake Jongin up.
He resigned himself to not getting sleep that night.
Slowly removing Jongin’s long limbs from his body, he tip-toed to the door and went outside. They were on the second floor of a standard motel so there wasn’t anything for Kyungsoo to do other than sit outside on the balcony. He sat on the cool concrete ground and leaned on the metal railings, looking up at the sky. Here, there were no city lights to hide the stars. Kyungsoo looked up to a thick blanket of stars dotting the sky. He tried to count them all but he eventually lost count.
Kyungsoo heard the door behind him open and found Jongin sitting next to him a moment after. The younger boy stretched out his arms and yawned.
“Can’t sleep?” Jongin mumbled.
“Not really. I’m sorry, did I wake you up when I left?”
“No, it’s okay. I won’t have trouble falling back asleep anyway.” Jongin said, chucking. He didn’t go back to sleep though. He continued to sit outside with Kyungsoo in silence.
“You’re not really like Baekhyun hyung, I’m a little surprised. You guys are pretty close friends for people who are so different.” Jongin said. Kyungsoo turned to him and smiled at the boy’s messy bed head. A chunk of Jongin’s hair was sticking up and Kyungsoo was very tempted to pat it down.
“Yeah, I guess we just balance each other out. We went to the same high school and ended up being roommates in our first year of university. We got along well so we decided to continue to live together after.” Kyungsoo said, shrugging. He listened to the distant sounds of grass blowing in the wind and crickets chirping. It was a comforting sound.
“I kind of like spending time with you.” Jongin said after while, his voice was quieter this time. He gestured to the both of them and the small space between them. “Like this.”
He looked up at the sky. Kyungsoo looked back up at the same sky, he tried connecting the dots to make constellations and managed to find a few. He felt small.
-
In Busan Kyungsoo learned that Jongin’s lips tasted sweet like a popsicle on a warm summer day.
The next morning the boys were up early and headed to Busan. This was easily going to be one of the highlights of their trip. Busan was great in so many ways but Kyungsoo only had a few opportunities to go in the past with his family and once for a class trip.
Kyungsoo leaned against the window and stared out at the green plains as they drove on the highway. It was vast fields and farm lands with an odd house or two. He thought about the people who lived in these houses and the vastly different life they had compared to Kyungsoo. There were so many different people in the world living so many different lives yet Kyungsoo felt like his life was stuck in a box. A predestined, lack luster box. He spent his life studying for one exam after another until his graduation and perhaps after he would a full time job. After that it would be a dreadful routine every day: waking up, going to work, coming home tired, going to sleep, and repeat.
“Do you ever feel like your running out of time to really enjoy your life?” Kyungsoo asked, still staring out the window. He turned to face Jongin, half expecting the younger boy to be asleep with his face pressed against the seatbelt as usual. To Kyungsoo’s surprise, he was still awake.
“You don’t have to stop having fun when you grow up.” Jongin replied.
“But it’ll never be like this. You won’t be young or free. When you grow up you’ll have limitations or deadlines, it’s just not the same.” Kyungsoo said, more softly. Jongin stared at Kyungsoo intently, considering what the older boy had said. Finally, he smiled.
“You’re right, it’s not.”
They spent most of their day at the beach. Busan was known for its beaches so it took them a while before they could find an ideal spot to lay out a blanket and drop their things. The sun was beating down on them when they went into the water. They played Marco-Polo and laughed when Sehun, blind-folded, wrapped his arms around (a very confused) twelve-year-old boy thinking he was Baekhyun.
Later they started to swim and soon after it became a competition. Loser would buy drinks for everyone later that night. The real competition was between Kyungsoo and Sehun, since Baekhyun and Jongin were easily the fastest swimmers in the group. It wasn’t much of a competition though, not when Kyungsoo was a sore loser and Jongin was horrible best friend willing to swim under the water and grab onto Sehun so Kyungsoo could win.
“I can’t believe my own best friend would betray me like that.” Sehun said as dramatic as possible. He splashed water in Jongin’s direction and scowled.
“I like Kyungsoo better. He doesn’t bother me when I sleep.” Jongin said, swimming behind Kyungsoo. He put his arms around the boy and stuck his tongue out at Sehun. “Also, he’s a dog person.” Kyungsoo remembered the 30-minute conversation he had with Jongin about dogs. It was mostly one sided with Jongin doing most of the talking.
Sehun flipped his hair exaggeratedly and called out to Baekhyun.
They left the water later for lunch. They ate by the beach while wrapped in their towels. Kyungsoo tried to look away but his eyes always kept returning to Jongin. His body was beautiful, sun kissed and toned. The sunlight dripped off his body and Kyungsoo found it mesmerizing at the very least. Baekhyun’s smug look towards Kyungsoo made it apparent he was not good at hiding this.
They found ways to kill the time until the evening. Jongin fell asleep on their beach blanket under their large umbrella while Kyungsoo read a book he had brought for the road. Sehun and Baekhyun walked around the beachside to the small stores and boutiques lined up. After dinner they went out for drinks as planned. The beachside also had a line up of pubs and bars so finding somewhere to go wasn’t very hard.
Sehun bought the first round of drinks as promised. They knocked down shots and sipped their cocktails until they left the pub with easy smiles and buzzed minds. Kyungsoo hadn’t realized how stuffy the pub was until they went outside. The sea side breeze cooled him down making his skin tingle with relief. They walked down the street aimlessly, the night felt too young to end. Kyungsoo turned to his right and found Jongin next to him.
“Hyung, lets go for a walk by the water.” Jongin grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand and pulled him along before he could reply. The answer was yes anyways. The beach was on the other side of the road, Kyungsoo let himself by pulled along until they were by the edge of the water. They walked down the beach slowly, unsteady and drunk. Kyungsoo vaguely noted that Jongin hadn’t let go of his hand.
When Jongin did let go, it was to sit down on the sand. Kyungsoo took a seat next to the boy and removed his sandals. They were right by the edge, occasionally the tide would be large enough for the water to splash their feet. Kyungsoo listened to the rush of the sea and drowned out all the nearby sounds of people talking or cars passing by. He felt the damp sand beneath his feet and savoured this feeling of peace. He took a deep breath and turned to Jongin. The other boy had his arms curled around his legs and chin on his knees. Jongin turned and looked back at him quietly.
“Can I kiss you?” Jongin asked, his voice was careful and almost quiet enough to be carried away with the wind and sea. It was also steady with intent; it wasn’t just the alcohol talking.
“Yes, Kiss me.” Kyungsoo commanded without hesitation. When Jongin pressed his lips against Kyungsoo’s, there was only ease and security. For once in his life there was no hesitation or uncertainty, his mind was silent with approval. Everything about kissing Jongin felt right. So he kissed him. They kissed and kissed and when Jongin cupped Kyungsoo’s face in his hands Kyungsoo wondered how Jongin could make him feel so at peace.
Kyungsoo woke up the next morning to a very nervous Jongin. It was strange for many reasons, one being that Jongin never woke up before Kyungsoo and another being that he never saw Jongin nervous. The memories from last night began to resurface and then Kyungsoo understood.
“So a - are we okay?” Jongin asked, keeping his gaze down. They were still lying in bed. Kyungsoo reached for the younger boy’s hand beneath the blankets.
“Yeah, this is okay if you want it to be.” Kyungsoo replied. Jongin gave Kyungsoo a bright smile and nodded.
They spent another two days at Busan because there were so many places to visit. Sehun had acquired pamphlets and brochures of tourist attractions and was determined to have the group go to as many sites as possible. They went to special markets, tried the local Busan cuisine, and went to more beaches. On their last night they went to some of the local shops and then the aquarium. Kyungsoo’s love for the ocean made being in Busan wonderful. The sea side city was always relaxing. It was like the entire city was enjoying itself.
Things were not really different with Jongin. Kyungsoo hadn’t expected them to be. They walked side by side through each attraction they went to. Jongin gave Kyungsoo his warm smiles that always reached his eyes and Kyungsoo did his best to return them. They talked about the things they saw and the things they wanted to see and do.
In the evening after dinner they went to Gwangan beach and saw the iconic Gwangan bridge. It was captivating at night when the bridge was lit with arrays of colours. Kyungsoo took pictures of the bridge and the night lights. He took pictures of Jongin next to him, with his sleepy gaze staring out at the bridge and the night breeze running through his hair.
“We should go to Pohang beach tomorrow morning and watch the sunrise there. I heard it looks really nice. People actually put up tents and spend the night there.” Jongin told the group later that night. He was going through one of Sehun’s tourist brochures (Sehun had been collecting tourist brochures like a stamp collection).
“Sunrise?” Sehun deadpanned.
“You know that’s at like six in the morning right, Jongin?” Kyungsoo joined in. He did want to go to the beach, especially at sunrise. He imagined the empty beach and morning sun.
“I’ll wake up for it, promise.” Jongin attempted to say convincingly. Sehun rolled his eyes but smiled.
“That sounds like an awful idea. I’m down.” Baekhyun said, excited.
They went to bed earlier than usual that night in order to wake up before sunrise. They dragged themselves off their beds at around four in the morning and slowly got themselves dressed. Their movements were sluggish but no one complained.
“Do you want me to drive?” Sehun asked Baekhyun who was currently downing a cup of coffee.
“It’s fine.” Baekhyun smiled sleepily. Baekhyun had done most of the driving for the trip, occasionally Sehun would drive but he had little experience on highways. Jongin wasn’t allowed to drive because no one trusted him to stay awake and Kyungsoo never bothered getting his driver’s licence.
They hustled out of the hotel room. Jongin held onto Kyungsoo’s shoulders and sleepily followed behind him as they went into the car. They said their goodbyes to Busan with a promise to return. Only a few minutes onto the highway Jongin fell asleep on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.
-
At Pohang Beach, Kyungsoo learned Jongin’s sleepy nature can sometimes be put on hold when the moment is right.
“Jongin, we’re almost there. Wake up.” Kyungsoo said, shaking the younger boy’s shoulder.
“Mmphmm.”
“Jongin, this was your idea.” Kyungsoo deadpanned. Sehun chuckled from the front seat.
“Mmm. Yeah, I thought you’d like it.” Jongin mumbled softly into Kyungsoo’s neck. At this, Kyungsoo flustered.
“I do like it but I’d like it better if you were awake with me.”
“Okay, okay. I’m awake.” Jongin replied. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and let out a yawn. They got out of the car and gave their limbs a long stretch.
They arrived to find the beach completely empty. Kyungsoo was in love. It was still dark outside; he could only make out outlines of shapes. He could hear nothing but the ocean waves and crickets singing in the grass. Kyungsoo looked for the “Hand of Harmony” on the beach. It was a large sculpture of a hand. The hand had its palm out to the sky so when the sun rose, it created the illusion that the hand was holding the sun.
“Come, let’s climb it.” Jongin said excitedly when they spotted the sculpture. He pulled Kyungsoo’s hand and ran to it. Kyungsoo gave Jongin a boost allowing him jump onto the palm. He reached for Kyungsoo next and helped him up. They sat comfortably next to each other and waited.
Soon the darkness faded as the sky became a dusty gray. The colours of the beach were a muted blue and Kyungsoo thought about how perfect everything looked right before sunrise. He looked at Jongin who appeared one part happy and one part sleepy.
It was so easy to fall in love in the summer time, Kyungsoo thought. Everything was alive and blossoming, things felt so much easier and it made him feel different. It made Kyungsoo feel open to love and possibilities. Summers made Kyungsoo feel like he could conquer the world. It made him feel like time didn’t exist when all he did was lie around on the beach and receive Jongin’s smiles. But summer didn’t last forever and that was Kyungsoo’s problem.
They were quiet when the sun came up. Maybe it wasn’t any different than watching the sunrise from his apartment when he couldn’t sleep at night but it sure felt different today when he watched the sun come up and transform the sky into shades of fiery red and orange. It felt different with Jongin next to him.
“You’ve been awake at some odd hours of the night for someone who supposedly always sleeps.” Kyungsoo said, raising his brow. He thought about talking to Jongin late at night and this. Jongin leaned his head against Kyungsoo’s shoulder.
“I don’t want to miss a moment of this.” Jongin replied. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if by this he meant their relationship or this trip. He thought about eventually going home and looking for work. He thought about going back to school and applying for internships he didn’t think he’d be qualified for.
“I don’t want this to end.” Kyungsoo said quietly to himself.
They fell asleep on the palm of the hand, lulled by the ocean’s waves and a heavy feeling in Kyungsoo’s chest.
-
At Yanyang, Jongin learned Kyungsoo was terrified of growing up.
Their last night on the road was spent at Yangyang. After spending the morning in Pohang beach, they drove up to Yangyang to spend the day sight seeing. They didn’t have anywhere they planned to be but the city had a variety of scenic trails and sites so they decided to spend the day mostly walking around and visiting them.
Kyungsoo was quiet for most of the drive, he couldn’t shake away an awful feeling that rested at the pit of his stomach. He knew what it was, it was the feeling of the end. Their trip was slowly approaching its end and soon Kyungsoo would be back in Seoul where he’d have to pick up the life he left behind in disarray. He knew it was counter productive to spend his last two days of the trip mopping around but he couldn’t make his smile reach his eyes.
Jongin noticed this, Kyungsoo knew. Jongin watched the boy next to him carefully but he didn’t bring anything up. Kyungsoo was grateful for that.
They went through the city’s popular parks and trails. Sehun, with all his knowledge gained from the pamphlets he’d been collecting from the hotel front desks, took it upon himself to tell the group all the interesting facts and statistics of city. He apparently had great prospects as a tour guide. They visited Naksansa Temple and explored the park surrounding it. While walking, Baekhyun slowed down, trailing behind until he was next to Kyungsoo. They talked about the temple for a bit and some of the places they saw.
“So, you and Jongin?” Baekhyun eventually asked, suggestively raising his brow. He had a satisfied grin plastered on his face.
“Uh, yeah. I guess it sort of just happened.” Kyungsoo shrugged. He didn’t mean it in a nonchalant or negative way. The two boys fit together seamlessly. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure when he started to like Jongin, it happened without much of a thought, as if the feeling had always been there.
“You guys are cute.” Baekhyun snickered. He pinched Kyungsoo’s cheeks for emphasis and received a punch from him in return.
“And what about you and Sehun?” Kyungsoo asked after. Baekhyun’s eyes widened in shock before quickly retreating his gaze to the ground.
“Uh y - you know, it’s just going. We’re good.” Baekhyun stuttered out miserably making Kyungsoo laugh. It was hard to believe that Byun Baekhyun, who was always confident and loud, could be so shy about anything.
“You guys are gross.” Kyungsoo replied, pinching Baekhyun’s cheek this time.
When they returned to the hotel room in the afternoon, Jongin kissed Kyungsoo slow and carefully. His kisses were cool and minty from the gum Jongin was chewing earlier. Since that night in Busan, they sneaked a couple of kisses before bed but that was all. Now the two of them were alone in the room while Sehun and Baekhyun went out. They were lying on their bed while Jongin leaned over the older boy and kissed him lazily. His hand trailed down Kyungsoo’s body and rested on his waist while Kyungsoo’s hand slipped under Jongin’s shirt. Kyungsoo put aside the awful feeling in his stomach in favour of the bliss Jongin offered him in his kisses.
Kyungsoo reached for Jongin, he cupping his face in his hand and pulled him down for another kiss. He opened his mouth and let their tongues explore. It was slow and lazy with just a pinch of heated ecstasy. Jongin pulled away first and began trailing kissing down Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo hummed in content while running his fingers through Jongin’s hair.
“Is everything okay?” Jongin mumbled into Kyungsoo’s neck in between kisses.
“Yes.” Kyungsoo’s reply came automatic. How could he not be okay when Jongin made him feel like he was on cloud nine? He knew Jongin wasn’t talking about the two of them making out, he was talking about that dark cloud that had been looming over Kyungsoo head and reminding him that he would be back in Seoul soon.
“Really?” Jongin questioned, he pulled away and look at Kyungsoo carefully.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Kyungsoo replied, less convincingly this time. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Jongin about it. He just didn’t want to talk about it at all. Thoughts felt less real when they stayed in your head but once you speak them - acknowledge them, then they become real. Then they become something that must be dealt with. “I’m just sad we’re going home tomorrow.”
Jongin examined Kyungsoo, making the older boy feel exposed. The look on Jongin’s face - the furrowed up eyebrows and frown - made Kyungsoo feel like he was being seen through his lie. And he was.
“Liar.” He muttered.
The rest of the night was mostly uneventful. They went to a popular restaurant for dinner, had a couple of drinks, and eventually went to bed. Everyone was exhausted from a long day having been awake since their trip to Pohang beach.
Despite the tiring day Kyungsoo still found himself awake in bed unable to sleep. Maybe he just didn’t want to sleep. He shuffled around and settled on staring at the ceiling. It was dark, everything was black. He could’ve had his eyes closed and it’d make no difference.
“Hyung, are you awake?” Jongin whispered next to him. Kyungsoo was beginning to think that he was ruining Jongin’s sleep schedule.
“Yes.”
“Excellent. Get out of bed, I want to go somewhere.” Jongin replied.
“Okay.” Kyungsoo replied without hesitation. The two of them shrugged off their blanket and snuck out the door. Jongin held Kyungsoo’s hand and crossed a few streets before leading him down a forested path. It wasn’t particularly dense so it was easy to follow the dirt path in front of them. Kyungsoo didn’t recognize the area even though it was near the hotel so he let Jongin lead the way. He followed and followed.
He heard it before he saw it. It was the sound of running water in the distance, like the sound of a storm from outside your window. He felt it next, the familiar damp air from fresh water. Then he saw it: a small waterfall hidden in the trees.
“This is amazing.” Kyungsoo whispered. Perhaps during the day, the waterfall would’ve been substandard. The stream of water flowing down was tall but thin making the pond the water fell into relatively small. At night, though, it felt hidden and secretive. It felt a little magical the way it was hidden inside the forest, as if it was a small paradise for the two boys.
“I saw it on one of Sehun’s pamphlets. I thought you’d like coming here at night.” Jongin smiled sheepishly. He walked towards the waterfall, stepping on the large stones that surrounded it. He slipped off his sandals and took a seat. Kyungsoo followed after him.
They sat on the rock, crossed legged side by side, and watched the water fall over the rock ledge. The mist tingled their skin. Jongin turned to Kyungsoo and pointed at his head.
“It looked like there was a lot going on in there. I thought coming here might help.” Jongin said.
“It does.” Kyungsoo replied, not denying Jongin’s statement.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I was sad we’re going home.” Kyungsoo said after a while. Jongin turned to him but Kyungsoo kept his gazing on the falling water.
“But it’s not just going home. It’s everything after that. School is ending and I have to start looking for a job or maybe I’m going to have do more school. I don’t really know what I’m going to do and it scares me. I don’t want this time to slip away, I like how things are right now. I feel happy and safe. But the future is so unpredictable it terrifies me.” Kyungsoo continued. He let out a sigh. “I just don’t want to grow up.”
He felt stupid and immature complaining about his life to Jongin.
“Hyung, we are young right now and it’s not going to last forever but you have to believe that it does.” Jongin replied quickly. He grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand and stared at him in the eyes with a piercing gaze. “You have to believe that we are immortal - that we are invincible and on top of the world because when you do then the possibilities for you are endless. Your failures are just side steps to something bigger and the future becomes a little less terrifying that way.”
Jongin said this all very quickly with a determined gaze. He caught his breath and flushed.
“I mean - that’s what I think anyway.” Jongin scratched the back of his neck and smiled softly. “And also, I don’t know if it’ll make much of a difference but I’ll be here for you when you need me.”
Kyungsoo stared at Jongin. He couldn’t tell if Jongin was so confident that the future would be okay that he lived everyday with such ease or if he was foolish to only focus on the present and expect his future to fall into place. The look in Jongin’s eyes made him believe that it had to be the former but maybe it was a bit of both. Maybe the only way to really get through life was to foolishly believe that everything will work out for you in the end.
Kyungsoo didn’t know how to reply so he gave Jongin a nod and retreated his gaze down to the rock they sat on. His chest felt muddled with mixed emotions. There are anxiety and uncertainty and fear but also a hint of alluring hope. It felt new and wicked and dangerous.
“Lets swim.” Jongin said suddenly. He looked at Kyungsoo, there was a spark of excitement in his eyes. Kyungsoo looked at him bewildered but he didn’t have any time to reply before Jongin was pulling his shirt over his head. The younger boy quickly shrugged off his shorts and jumped into the water. The pool was relatively small so the water only reached up to Jongin’s chest. He looked up at Kyungsoo, who was still standing on the rock, and waited.
Kyungsoo thought maybe he can give into Jongin. Maybe he can give Jongin these years of his life and take all Jongin has to give to him. Love, happiness, foolish joy. When he looked at Jongin, skinny dipping in their hidden waterfall, a part of Kyungsoo felt this need to ridiculously impractical - to enjoy life without a worry. It was a foreign feeling but he thought that’s what being young was supposed to feel like.
Kyungsoo looked at Jongin a moment longer then sighed in defeat (but he couldn’t hide the smile that crept up his face). He was glad for the darkness, it made him a little less self conscious when he removed his clothes and dived in.
Kyungsoo felt an instant relief when he dropped into the cool water. It was hot outside and the walk over here had made his skin uncomfortably sticky. The water sprinkled over the boys like rain, Kyungsoo closed his eyes and lifted his face to sky. As much as he loved talking with Jongin, he also enjoyed the comfortable silence between them. So he quietly swam around on his own. He came back up for a breath and found Jongin looking at him curiously. Jongin swam to him.
He leaned in towards Jongin and kissed the boy. Their lips were slippery and cool, Kyungsoo could taste the waterfall in their kisses. He pushed Jongin’s wet hair back and looked up at the boy.
“You are sort of utterly beautiful sometimes, it’s a little insulting.” Kyungsoo joked. Jongin smiled back.
“You’re one to talk.” Jongin mumbled back. “How do you feel?”
“Better, much better. Thank you.” Kyungsoo replied honestly. It wasn’t like Kyungsoo could will all his anxiety away with one pep talk but he was able to keep it at bay. The prospect of good things to look forward to helped.
“Good.” Jongin said, looking pleased by Kyungsoo’s answer. He gave Kyungsoo a kiss on his temple.
“You’re ridiculous, you know that? What if someone came here?” Kyungsoo said after, trying to hold down his chuckle.
“It’s alright, it’s dark. Look, there are much more inappropriate things I want to do here with you but I’m holding back.” Jongin replied, holding his hands up in defense.
“Yeah, we probably shouldn’t.” Kyungsoo sighed.
“No, we shouldn’t.” Jongin agreed.
(They did anyway.)
-
In Seoul, Kyungsoo learned that Jongin was like summer.
The next morning, they headed home. They took a few stops along the way for food and consequently didn’t reach Seoul until the evening. Kyungsoo watched out the window as the city’s high rise buildings began to come into view. Jongin sat next to Kyungsoo, asleep on his shoulder.
He thought about the rest of his summer and he thought about Jongin. Maybe he didn’t have to feel like this was the end. There will be happier days. He wanted to spend afternoons with Jongin in his apartment watching marathons of their favourite anime. He wanted to visit Jongin’s house and see the puppies he spent half an hour talking about. He even wanted go to their school library and study with Jongin when school began. He wanted to catch Jongin in between their classes for lunch.
Jongin might be a piece of summer that Kyungsoo could hold onto. It was his warmth and his messy blond hair and his sweet caramel skin. It was the radiant smiles that sometimes rivaled the sun in its brightness. It was the carefree look in his eyes that screamed fearlessness and ease. Kyungsoo scrolled through the gallery on his phone. He skimmed through the photos. He’d look through them one by one later but he could already see intermingled with all his photos of sunsets and beaches and forests was Jongin, Jongin, and Jongin.
Baekhyun pulled off the highway and headed towards Sehun and Jongin’s apartment. Jongin and Kyungsoo’s apartments were both near campus; he started to see the familiar roads pass by. He took a deep breath. He always felt like his life was short and bland, like he was stuck in a box but maybe love throws you out of that box. Maybe love can make your life feel longer too, prolong the good times and minimize the bad. Their road trip had only been a week and yet, Kyungsoo already felt so much with Jongin.
“Jongin wake up, we’re home.”