"Peace isn't merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice."

HINT:
"Nobody does this to the United States. The President will get back his baseball glove and play catch with this guy's balls!"

"We got a gopher."

HINT:
"I didn't kill my wife."
"I don't care."

"Thanks for calling. I was beginning to wonder what a girl had to do to get arrested."

"I must not let my passion interfere with my reason. That is not good. That is bad."

"Triple-time sounded like a lot of money, Bud. It ain't."

"Hey dog, did you see the size of that chicken?"

"Not many people know this, but the turtle is nature's suction cup.... Look. It sticks."

"Oh you little bastards! All right, I'll crush each and every last one of ya! I'll squash you so hard you'll have to look down to look up!"

"Have you ever done a paper route?"
"No, but I helped a guy once."

"Shit."
"What?"
"Rollers."
"No?"
"Yep."
"Shit."