I feel so... neglected ( Read more... )

 i just wrote a really really long entry...

and i pressed the backspace button

and the entire thing got deleted.

i hate you livejournal.

I think i'm at a cross roads, but i'm not absolutely postive. 
i dont have anything exciting going for me right now.

My mom was talking about this tape.
the meduim said that he's a gate keeper. 
I dont know exactly what that means... but i guess its a really good thing.
I cant believe its been... 8 months. 8 freaking months. 
I'm sure he's my look out. ( Read more... )

So things are kinda crazy ( Read more... )

 so. sometimes i come to the conclusion that
i'm stupid.
and not in the way you're taking it.

fuckin rediculous.
sometimes.
i dont like the way i think.
other times
i'm amazingly smart

what do you want from me

do you want 
patience
kindness
a big heart 
and more?

do you want 
happiness
and joy?

do you want me to pretend
that all is okay
that i'm not in this gutter
i'm here

What do you want from me
do you want me to 
cry
spill my guts on the floor
open my tear filled eyes?

Do you want me to 
scream
hit things
push and shout?

hit the floor
kicking and ( Read more... )

I hate people who pull down decorations that took forever to put up. If you dont like it tough. Fuck you stop touchin my shit.

Typography is stressing the hell outta me. We've got so much to do for midterms. ugh. I'm ok.

So i've got to find a date to this wedding. Soon. Like... tonight. 
hmm. interesting.

i have to pee. but i dont want to walk down ( Read more... )

so. four days ago. i was perfectly healthy. cept the whole depressed thing.

and now. now i've got the chester illness.

i hate being sick.

i was doing soo well.

this blows.

sometimes... i heart chester college... other times... i dont want to be there... sometimes i heart being home... other times i wish i were at chester... and sometimes... just sometimes... i wish i weren't at either place. I wish i were with a certain lovely boy who has happened to make my life complete even though i feel things are still... up in ( Read more... )

She smiles. She sighs. Tonight was the best night ever. Hopefully there are gonna be more like it soon. She's actually happy for once. The smile just faded from her face but she's still content. Its just a sad day today. 142 am. Sitting texting typing and breathing. The texts make her happy. The typing makes her happy. The breathing keeps her alive ( Read more... )