Winning

[justbeast]

Do you know how to win?

I always hear that one has to lose gracefully. And that's probably true, probably makes you easier to be around. I don't know if I do. I expect to lose, in any case (in any sort of meaningful context of competition, eg sports, card games etc). I have practice with that. I don't notice it. I don't mean that to sound harsh or

Comments

[sheistheweather]

Truth.

[pallid_regina]

Somehow we innately know that we're not SUPPOSED to be good at these things, but WHY?! It makes no sense at all, to be graceful and grateful when good things happen, how can that be bad?

I'm getting better at some of these things but I still struggle with most of the positive stuff. Putting a brave face on a bad situation? I'm the QUEEN. Accepting that I made good choices and ended up with a good outcome and I get a compliment saying so? Freaking out and resorting to self-deprication GAH GAH GAH!!!

LOL.

Good, thought provoking consideration here. Thank you for sharing it!

[gows]

How to let somebody take care of you, to be kind to you?

Of the above, this is the one I have the hardest time with. I've gotten a lot better about it through dating Greg--he loves taking care of me and doing little things for me.

An interesting twist on this is that if it doesn't really matter, I'm okay with receiving. My problem is when I need to be taken care of, when I have to ask for help and when being told "no" could conceiveably cause me hardship. That's really tough, and a definite hang-up from having been so sick for such a long time with Crohn's.

[kimberkit]

Oh *so* true.

[rosefox]

Yes. I grew up playing board and card and word games. It was understood that if you're the better player, you don't let the other person win and you don't grind them into the dirt. You play a fair game, and you shake hands and say "good game" and thank the other person for playing with you, and then you shuffle and deal a new game.

Winning one game against another person is irrelevant. The real goal is to improve yourself. If you win too often, you find someone better to play against. But there's no reason not to feel proud and satisfied when you exercise your hard-earned skills and achieve something difficult. Just remember that it's collaborative. You can't win unless someone played the game with you. So say "Thank you for the game", every time, and mean it from your heart.

Good luck is something entirely different from winning. Luck bores me. And when I celebrate my happiness, most of all I celebrate the parts of it that I built myself, not the ones that fell into my lap.

[firebirdgrrl]

Wow, that's wonderful-very gracious and very classy.

(A crowd I used to hang with made playing Euro and ilk board/card games like running a gauntlet, very big on who was best, who lost and needed to improve their strategy. I stopped playing anything for years because I didn't want to be humiliated. I'm playing a few things now and am noticing I can actually enjoy doing, not a burning dislike that came with me. That's nice.)

That was really nice to hear and to remember. Thank you.

[rosefox]

Credit where it's due: my mother is a gracious and classy lady, and she raised me right.

I'm sorry those people had a game-playing style that didn't work for you, and glad you've found ways to enjoy games with other people.

[pachamama]

This made me giggle, because of course you just deflected the "gracious and classy" compliment instead of simply receiving it! :-)