SPN/J2 Big Bang: You're the world to me (Jared/Jensen, NC-17, Part 1)

[joans23]

Master Post





Jared doesn't watch much television. He simply doesn't have the time. There's always something else that needs to be done on the ranch.

It's difficult work. It's a hard, lonely life, but Jared doesn't mind. Not usually anyway. When he's busy, whether it's branding new calves or fixing fences, there isn't much opportunity for brooding. But when it's quiet for a moment, like tonight when he's sitting on the porch watching the setting sun with a cold beer balanced on his knee, Jared feels the loneliness as a physical pain shooting through his chest.

Sure, he has his family. He has lunch with his mother every second Sunday at her new home in the retirement village. Megan, he sees every other day. And, of course, there's Chad, his best friend since kindergarten. Chad's apparently made it his mission in life to see Jared happily married, and he won't rest until he's achieved just that. He means well, Jared knows, but good intentions can only go so far in excusing some of the extremely hair-brained tactics he's employed to get Jared hitched.

But it's not the same. Jared tells everyone that it's alright, that he has no time for a relationship anyway, but the truth is that he yearns for someone to share it all with. Someone who'll make it all worth while.

Maybe that's why he indulged Chad when he arrived with the taped show, giving only token protests before sitting down to watch it with his friend.

The Farmer's Wife.

Jared rolls his eyes again at the corny title. He almost gave up and walked away when it flashed on the screen, the twirly ribbon underlining the bold text ending in a child's representation of a tractor. Already in it's third season, the show boasted an impressive rate of success however, so Jared kept watching. The concept was simple. First the farmers wrote in to the show, and if selected, they would send a crew out to the farms to interview the potential bachelors (and bachelorettes) and then air a special program showcasing their profiles. The viewers would then select the farmer they would like to meet and write to them. The farmer picks the letters of the ten people they'd most like to meet and the group gets whittled down until hopefully, only the farmer's perfect match remains.

Chad got sent home with his ridiculous tape, but for some reason Jared can't stop thinking about the show. Sure, there is a huge humiliation factor involved, but Jared's kinda gotten used to the emotion; taking a few years to grow into his huge feet made sure of that. That doesn't leave him much more to lose and apart from one last thing he needs to sweat out, Jared is ready to sign up.

First he needs to speak to his family.

Megan is first on the list. Jared grabs an orange juice from the fridge and leans back against the counter, toys with the label while he hits Megan's number on speeddial.

"If you're calling to ask what I think of Chad's latest scheme, I'm just gonna tell you straight. Do it."

"Megan," Jared says, but she cuts him off before he gets any further.

"Don't 'Megan' me. You're lonely, Jared. You try to hide it, but I'm your sister, and I know you. I also know what your life is like, and if you keep on breaking your back like you are right now, which I know you will, then you'll never meet anyone. You barely take the time off to go see Mom, and if I didn't constantly drag my ass out to the ranch, I'd never see you either. And you deserve this. If anyone does, Jare, you do."

"Stop, you don't have to convince me. I think I want to do it, but..."

"You're not sure you want to go for a wife?"

"You know?" Jared asks with a gasp, managing the two steps over to the kitchen table before his knees give in and drop him heavily onto a chair, his cell clutched tightly against his ear.

"I've suspected," Megan says, "but I wasn't going to push. If it was true and you wanted to tell me, you would. But now, I'm gonna push Jared. Call Mom."

"I'm not sure, Meg," Jared says, admitting the truth even to himself for the first time. "I don't know what it is I want, but I don't want to do this if I'm not going to put it all on the line."

"That's my big brother," Megan says and the line goes quiet for a while.

"I'm scared, Meg," Jared admits. " I don't want to lose my family because of this choice I'll need to make. And I made a promise."

"You're the bravest person I know, Jare. I don't know what happened when Dad died and no one will talk about it, but we've come this far. I'm not gonna let- Please promise me you'll talk to her."

"Okay," he says, his own eyes stinging suddenly. "That's if they even pick me."

"Jared, they'll pick you. Trust me, one look at you and they'd have to be crazy not to put you on their screens. Half of America is going to fall in love with you."

"Only half?" Jared teases and Megan laughs in his ear, a welcome change from the quiver of tears he heard laced through her tone earlier.

"Hey, don't be greedy. Leave some hearts for the other bachelors to win."

"They can have all of them. I just want the one."

"And you'll get it, Jared. I just know it."

Jared doesn't keep her on the phone much longer, letting her go to get back to her own family.

Jared looks around the kitchen, at the house he grew up in. Dusk is beginning to fall and Jared turns on the porch light before stepping outside. He stands taking deep, calming breaths, letting the serenity of his surroundings seep into him before he steps off the porch and walks into the open as he thumbs in the next number.

His mother answers on the third ring.

"Jared, dear, how are you?"

"Hi, Mom," Jared says. He's reached the gate and leans on one heavy wooden post as he tries to find the right words. "I'm fine."

"Fine? You don't sound it. Is this about that show Megan and Chad want to enter you in?"

"Yeah," Jared says and shakes his head. How does everyone know about this already? "Mom- Damn, I don't even know how to tell you this."

"Jared, just tell me. What's wrong? You're scaring me, honey."

"Nothing's wrong, Mom. It's just- I want to enter. But if I do, I'm not just going to ask woman to write me. I- Mom, I want to ask guys too."

"Jared."

His mother doesn't have to say anything else. Her tone says it all.

Jared remembers coming out to his parents when he was fourteen, scared and unsure about the way he felt more drawn to the shy boy sitting next to him in math class than the neighbor's daughter always bringing him freshly picked apples. They'd been understanding and supportive. They advised him not to make any hasty decisions. He was still so young, how could anyone his age really know what they wanted. Jared was grateful; he'd been so afraid. So he took Melissa to the drive-in movies, but he couldn't kiss her, even when she put her hand high on his thigh and pleaded breathlessly for him to do so. He kissed Jeremy instead, behind the bleachers on the day before his sixteenth birthday and ran all the way home with a heart that threatened to explode from his chest.

Two weeks later, his dad got sick and all thoughts of romance took a firm backseat as Jared was forced to step up and help manage the ranch. Jared watched his father getting sicker and the toll it took on the rest of his family when he was admitted into hospital, the prognosis grim. He never got the chance to tell them about the magic of his first kiss and the decision he had come to.

Long before the doctors asked them to come to the hospital, the urgency of a midnight phone call sending fresh waves of panic through their battered family, Jared knew his dad wasn't coming home again.

"Jared," his father had said, the clammy grip on Jared's hand surprisingly strong. "You're the man of the house now, son. I need you to promise me something."

"Anything, Dad," Jared had said, blinking away fresh tears as he tried to be brave. His mother's hand squeezed his shoulder.

"I want you to know we were so grateful when you came to us when you were confused. And so proud of you when you listened to us and starting taking some girls out. Jared, I want you to promise me that you'll find a nice girl to marry, that you'll keep the Padalecki legacy going and keep the ranch in the family."

"But, Dad-" Jared tried.

"No, I know it's not time yet. I want you to finish school and all. But in a few years, when you're ready. Promise me."

"Dad," Jared said and jumped when the monitor behind him gave a sharp beep. His father's hand ripped from his as he started spasming and then Jared and his mother were being pushed aside as the nursing staff rushed in to take care of him. He was pronounced dead only twenty minutes later and Jared was left granting his promise to his father's cold and lifeless body.

Coming back to himself slowly, Jared feels the fresh torment of being torn between what he promised and what he wants.

"Mom, I know. I've never gave you any reason to believe that I still wanted, wanted men, and I promised. I even agreed to be part of this stupid show to get a wife because I couldn't court one properly. But I don't want to lie about who I am anymore."

"I never wanted you to lie, Jared. But you never said anything. After your Dad. You never said anything to make us believe otherwise."

"I promised."

A long silence follows and then Jared can hear his mother quietly crying.

"Mom, please don't cry."

"Your father was wrong to ask that of you," his mom says finally, sniffing as she blows her nose. "A kid of barely seventeen. How could we lay that on you? It was wrong, honey, and in my heart I know that if your Dad was alive today, he'd want you to do what was right for you too. I only want you to be happy."

"But the ranch-"

"Is just a piece of land. Who cares what happens to it after we're gone? It's not like it changes anything. We'll still be dead. What matters is that when we come to that end, we know we've lived our lives to the fullest and that there's someone who will care that we lived at all. To love and be loved, Jared. No mother could want anything more than that for her children."

"You're sure?"

"If the one turns out to be a man, or even if it doesn't and you have to keep looking, yes, honey. I'm sure."

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Jared. Now you call me and let me know what's happening, all right? I want to know everything."

"I will. Thanks, Mom."

"Bye, honey."

"Bye, Mom."

Jared stares at the blank screen of his phone for a while and then with a loud whoop, he turns and runs to the house.

He's really doing this. And for the first time, he's glad that he is.



"Ten eligible farmers are looking for wives! This exciting new series, presented by the lovely Alona Tal, follows these ten bachelors in their search for love. Alona has travelled across the country to visit all of these farmers on their farms to get the inside scoop. She finds out about their farms, their interests and what they're looking for in a soul mate."

"Chris, what the hell are you watching?" Jensen says.

Chris scrambles from the couch for the remote laying on the coffee table in front of him. Jensen's too quick for him though, and grabs it out from under his hand easily. He holds it above his head, making full use of the couple of inches he has on him as Chris keeps trying to steal it back. On screen, a beautiful blond girl with a sweet smile is attentively listening to a man dressed in a red flannel shirt and dirty jeans telling his story.

"Is that a tractor?" Jensen says, peering at the screen over his head.

Chris admits defeat and sinks back onto the couch.

"Go ahead, let's get this over with," Chris says.

Jensen laughs and sits down next to him. Even though Jensen's been home for a couple of months, Chris has been on leave from the agency for less than a week and already they're bored out of their minds. Houston is a big bustling city, but neither of them are really into the usual fare it has on offer. No wonder Chris has succumbed to reality television.

"Looking for love?" he asks Chris, tapping his best friend's knee with the remote.

"The farms are pretty great. Reminds me of home," Chris says defensively. Get a couple of beers in him and he'll reminisce for hours on end about the farm he grew up on. One look at the beat up truck he drives and there's little doubt as to where his heart still lies. Jensen turns his attention towards the screen. "But it's a really good show. And the blond chick is really hot."

Just then, a tall guy with shaggy brown hair appears on screen. He's dressed in the standard uniform of jeans and brightly coloured flannel shirt and he towers over the petite host. He smiles down at her, his cheeks dimpling adorably and Jensen feels his heart flutter in his chest.

"Hi, I'm Jared. I'm a rancher from San Antonio, Texas. I've been living and working full time on the ranch since I inherited it from my father a few years back. It's hard work, but it's honest and for me the best part is being able to sit down to dinner at the end of the day and know everything on the table came from my own two hands. It's just ... It can get pretty lonely out here and there isn't much opportunity for meeting people. What I'm looking for in a partner is someone who will laugh with me, live with me and love with me."

He trails off quietly and flashes one more grin at the camera before walking away, his dwindling silhouette framed by the setting sun. Jensen can't tear his eyes away from the screen.

"Jensen?" Chris asks, noticing Jensen's rapt attention to what's going on onscreen.

"Huh?" Jensen says, finally able to tear his eyes away as the next participant starts his story.

"See anything you like?" Chris asks jokingly.

Jensen shakes his head, but all he can think about though is the pair of warm brown eyes peeking at him from below an unruly mop of hair. He shakes his head again, trying to dislodge the image. What is he thinking?

"You need anything from the store?" Jensen asks. "I think we're out of beer." He needs to get out, away from the damn television and his friend's questioning glances - anything for a chance to flee their small apartment and try to clear his head. Chris won't let him get away that easily though, grabbing hold of his arm and dragging Jensen back down onto the couch.

"Hey," Chris says, "you really liked the look of him?"

Chris was the first of his colleagues to find out that Jensen's gay. He tried to help Jensen keep is quiet, covering for him so he could have some semblance of a love life, but somehow it came out, as secrets often tend to do. Officially NASA has a very tolerant policy, but coming from a military background, his colleagues and superiors made it increasingly difficult for Jensen to do his job until finally he was forced to resign his commission. It was easily the hardest thing he's ever had to do. Ever since he was five years old, sitting on his grandma's lap on the porch of their little farmhouse just outside Dallas as she pointed out the constellations to him, Jensen had wanted to be an astronaut. Finding out he was gay in high school wasn't going to prevent him from reaching his dream. He vowed never do anything to risk his career, even if for years he believed the threat existed mostly in his own head. In the end it did end up costing him the only thing he ever really wanted. Still struggling to make peace with it, Jensen could barely leave the apartment, let alone look at a guy. Giving in now to his body's desires seemed wrong. Too easy for the high price he's had to pay for the freedom. He shrugs and refuses to meet Chris's eyes.

"You should write to him," Chris says decisively.

"Excuse me?"

"That's how it works," Chris explains. "You write to the one you like, he reads the letters and picks ten people to meet in person."

"Ten women."

"He said 'partner', not 'wife'. And they never said it had to be woman."

"Chris, the show's title is The Farmer's Wife. I think it's implied."

"It's up to him," Chris drawls. "If he wants to meet you, I don't think they can't stop him. Them's the rules."

"If he wants to meet me," Jensen says and mentally slaps his palm to his forehead. He's talking like he's already agreed to Chris' crazy idea and write to Jared, offering himself up for selection.

"You have to send a picture with the letter," Chris says. "One look at your pretty little face and he won't be able to resist."

"Fuck you," Jensen says, giving Chris's shoulder a playful shove. Chris lets it go, getting his own back by wrestling Jensen to the floor instead.

"Seriously, Jen," Chris says, Jensen's face mashed against his smelly armpit. "You've been sitting here for months, moping and making yourself miserable. You need to get on with your life, and a bit of romance is just what the doctor ordered."

"Easier said than done," Jensen says, shoving Chris away. They sit leaning back against the sofa side by side, the floor cold and hard beneath their backsides.

"It can be, man," Chris says, knocking a boot against Jensen's ankle. "You just have to let yourself be happy."

Later that night, Jensen sits up in his room, the lamp on his bedside table spilling warm light onto the desk as he sits behind it with his pen poised over a blank sheet of paper. He drops it, raking his fingers through his hair, the strands still regulation short. He steps away from the rickety little table and walks over to the window, flinging it wide. The air sticks in his throat, smoggy and thick. Far below him, the traffic still flows despite the late hour, a blur of light and noise that never stops. He's been living in the city ever since he started training at the Johnson Space Center, but even after all these years, he still feels like a stranger. He looks up into the sky, the one thing that never fails to make him feel better. It's tinted red, the city's lights bathing it in a fiery haze and he can't even see the stars.

Jensen goes back to his desk, takes a deep breath and starts writing.

Hi, my name is Jensen Ackles and I used to be an astronaut.



Jared stands on his porch, watching the cloud of dust getting steadily bigger as the shiny red truck comes barrelling down the dirt road. It's been a few weeks since the introductory episode aired and Alona and her film crew are coming back to let him know if there were any people brave enough to write to him.

He can hear Chad and Megan talking and laughing inside. They're here for moral support and to help him sort through the hopefully big piles of letters.

The dogs start barking as they pull in through the gate and Jared walks over to welcome his guests. The film crew gets out first, setting up quickly a few yards away and then Alona is getting out from behind the wheel with a big smile. Jared can't help but smile back, immediately at ease as she comes closer to greet him with a quick hug.

"Jared! So good to see you again."

"Thanks, Alona, you too. Welcome back."

"Thank you," Alona says, turning round to look out over the yard. "It's so beautiful here. It's great to be back."

"Would you like to come inside?" Jared offers. "There's cold lemonade and my sister baked her world famous cherry pie in your honor."

One of the crew members lets out a little whoop and Alona turns toward the camera with a grin.

"That sounds delightful. But first," she says, going back to the truck and opening the passanger door, "I'm gonna need some help hauling this in."

The box she drags from the front seat is massive and Jared steps in quickly to take it from her.

"What is all this?" he asks.

"Your letters," Alona exclaims. "All five hundred of them."

"Five? Hundred?" Jared's eyes grow wide in surprise. After he'd watched his terrible interview air, he thought he'd be lucky to get even a handful.

"Yes," Alona says, laughing at the comic look on Jared's face. "So I hope you have some help, because we have to narrow that down to just ten."

Chad and Megan have been hovering just inside the front door and Chad takes that as his signal to open the screen door and come down the steps to take the box from Jared. He gives the cameras a big grin and carries it inside. Megan giggles and shakes Alona's hand, more than a little starstruck as she ushers the presenter inside.

They wait in the hallway as the crew sets up in the kitchen, Megan distributing pie and lemonade to the grateful men in the dining room when they finish. Then it's time for Jared to compose himself as Alona sits across from him at the kitchen table, spilling the mountain of letters onto the worn tabletop between them.

There are big, fat ones, sweet smelling pink ones, too many to even begin cataloging properly and Jared doesn't know where to start. Somewhere in that pile his soulmate could be waiting.

"Are you ready?" Alona asks quietly, squeezing Jared's hand when he looks at her uncertainly.

Jared nods shakily, managing a smile.

"Then let's get your friend and your sister in here, there's a lot to do."

Megan and Chad come in and the cameras are turned off for now. It's going to take hours for them to go through everything, and Alona tells them they'll pick back up when Jared's closer to narrowing down his choices.

Megan takes charge, dividing the pile into three equal stacks. Chad doesn't waste any time digging into his, enthusiastically tearing open the first envelope. He goes for the picture attached to the back first and unceremoniously dumps it over his shoulder.

"Chad," Megan says. "What are you doing?"

"Tall and blond, totally not Jared's type."

"I don't have a type," Jared says.

"How do you know Jared's type?" Megan asks at the same time.

"Hello, he's been my best friend since kindergarten," Chad answers Megan first. "Petite brunettes," he tells Jared and Jared whacks him over the head with a particularly heavy envelope.

"We're reading them all," Jared tells them. "If they took the time to write to me, we're taking the time to read them."

"Fine," Chad concedes, rolling his eyes before picking up the discarded letter.

They read in silence for a while, Chad and Megan occasionally reading him passages out loud from their letters or leaning over to show him the pictures. He's lost in a sea of beautiful brown, blue and green eyes, toothy smiles and flirty grins, blondes, brunettes and redheads. Every girl sounds amazing and Jared doesn't know how he's ever going to choose. What if he dismisses someone because of something silly and they could have turned out to be the one?

About halfway through, he's managed to pick out four, feeling some kind of instant connection to the girls in the pictures that he can't explain. He hasn't come across any from guys yet, and hopes it's not some kind of sign. Chad picks up his small selection and snickers.

"What's so funny?" Jared asks.

Chad shows them the pictures splayed out in his hands and Megan hides a matching snicker behind her hand.

"What?" he asks again.

"Dude. They're all tiny chicks with brown hair. Are you still gonna deny having a type?"

"I do not," Jared insists.

"Sorry to break it to you, bro," Megan says, "but I think you do.

"I do not. Tell you what, I'll take the next leggy blond you come across," Jared says. He only has ten spaces to fill and he doesn't want to waste one, but he's determined to prove them wrong.

"Deal," Megan says and opens the next one on her pile, a small plain brown envelope. She reads it in silence, flipping the piece of paper over to look at the photograph below. She folds it shut, places it on table and covers it with both her hands. Jared and Chad wait patiently for her to speak.

"Well?" Chad asks, crumbling first.

"This one actually sounds perfect, but ... I'm letting you out of the deal, Jared. You should pick who you want."

"No," Jared insists. "Tell me."

"31, tall, blond with green eyes. Astronaut, so you know there's brains as well as beauty," Megan lists the point on her fingers.

"Dude, an astronaut?" Chad says. "That is so extremely cool."

"Yeah," Jared agrees. "Why won't you let me pick her?"

"Because I said I wouldn't push, remember? Not if you're not ready. His name is Jensen," Megan answers.

"Oh," Jared says, suddenly nervous.

"Isn't there some kind of rule that it they all have to be girls?" Chad asks.

"I don't think so," Megan answers.

"Alona," Jared calls and the presenter quickly comes in from the living room.

"Yes, Jared? Is there a problem?" Alona asks, walking over to place a hand on Jared's shoulder.

Jared shakes his head and turns in his seat to look at her.

"Is there a rule that all the contestants have to be female?" he asks.

"Not at all," Alona says. "Tom from Nebraska is bisexual and he included four guys in his pick. You're free to choose whomever you want."

"Okay," Jared says and holds out his hand to Megan to hand over Jensen's letter. He takes his time to read it, looking at Jensen's picture quickly before going back and reading it a second time.

Jensen's laid himself bare in the short letter, sharing intimate details about his life and why he decided to write to Jared. Through his choice of words, Jared gets the feeling that Jensen is an intensely private person and marvels at how hard it must have been for him to open up like that. He knows that he definitely never would've had the courage if the roles had been reversed.

He looks at Jensen's picture again, at the freckles on his nose, the sharpness of the eyes staring at him from behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. It's a part of himself that Jared's buried so deeply for so long, he wasn't sure how he'd react to being faced with a beautiful man and being allowed to look. To want. He doesn't want to select Jensen simply because his is the first letter from a man Jared's seen, but he feels that same instant connection with Jensen that he felt with the ladies he's already chosen and Jared makes his decision. He places Jensen's letter on the small pile on his left.

"Okay," he tells Chad and Megan. "We've got five more places to fill."

Alona goes back to the sitting room and Chad just shrugs before picking up the next letter and letting out a loud wolf whistle at the picture of a busty redhead in a polkadot bikini. Megan's looking at him with mixture of surprise and pride and Jared gives her a little smile.

They fill the last available places quickly, only having a small debate over the final two girls for the last spot. There were another handful of letters from guys, but none of them appealed to Jared. Satisfied with the decisions he's made, the cameras and Alona come back in. She congratulates Jared on his choices and tells him he'll be flying down to LA in a week's time to meet all of them personally for the first time. He assures her he's looking forward to it and they wrap up quickly.

Chad and Megan walk outside with him to see the crew off, everyone returning Alona's wave as they pass through the gate. They stand around for a few more minutes, winding down from the excitement and comfortably relieved to have gotten this far at least. Chad leaves first, sneaking a kiss and a pinch to Megan's bottom and giving Jared a big hug before getting into his battered VW Beetle. Megan barely waits for the dust to settle before she's on her way as well.

Jared gives her a quick hug, but when he tries to step back, she won't let go.

"I'm proud of you," she says and tightens her arms around his neck a little. There are tears shining in her eyes when she finally lets go.

"Meg," Jared says, reaching to wipe at her cheeks, but she bats him away and gives him a smile.

"See you on Friday? You promised the kids dinner with their uncle."

"Okay," he says, his own eyes stinging suddenly.

He closes her car door and watches his sister drive away towards her own family, leaving him all alone again.

Hopefully he won't be that way for much longer.



Jensen's very relieved to be picked up from the airport. The flight wasn't too bad, but he wasn't really looking forward to having to navigate his way through LA's traffic. He'd rather take a trip to space any day of the week than deal with that. The driver spares him a nervous glance in the mirror when he lets out a chuckle before turning his undivided attention back to the gridlock around them.

The hotel where the show's set up is in Beverly Hills, the kind of fancy Jensen's only ever seen on television and he spends a few minutes gaping at the opulence like a overwhelmed tourist. An assistant shows up at his side to take his overnight bag and leads him to the private sitting room where all the contestants are being gathered.

He walks in and is assaulted by the sights and sounds of about fifty overly excited women. He wonders if this is what beauty pageants are like. Each girl is more beautiful than the last. He nervously runs a hand over the slightly wrinkled fabric of his button up and regrets not forgoing his comfortable jeans for something slightly dressier. They're all squealing at each other, kissing each other's cheeks and spraying on more perfume even though it's already hard to breath through the unpleasant mix of heavy scents hanging in the air.

Jensen spots four guys huddled against the wall also staring in horror at the spectacle in front of them and he hurries over to join them. He's usually shy about just going up to strangers and introducing himself, but he figures desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Hey, guys," Jensen greets them. "I'm Jensen," he says. They shake hands in turn, introducing themselves.

"You also here for Tom?" Mike asks him. He runs a hand that's only shaking ever so slightly over his bald head.

"No, Jared," Jensen answers.

"Oh, the tall one," Justin, says. "Thought Tom was the only one dipping into both pools."

"Guess not," Jensen says and then they're left standing together in awkward silence as the noise in the room continues to escalate. Some of the girls are starting to hyperventilate and Jensen thinks they might have to call in the paramedics soon.

"Ladies," Alona's voice rings out through a microphone. "And gentlemen," she says, nodding over at their small group. "We're here to meet our farmers!"

The women cheer loudly, the guys just shift their feet nervously.

"We'll be starting off with Tom. Each of the ten people he's selected will have five minutes to talk to him, introduce themselves and hopefully make enough of an impression to be selected as one of the five going on a group date with him later this week, giving him a chance to get to know a few of you a little better."

"Five minutes," Aaron breathes next to him. "Jesus."

Jensen claps him on the back, sharing in his pain, and then they're being called to the front amidst even more cheers and clapping. Jensen's left standing on his own as they make their way to the elevators to be taken to a room prepared upstairs somewhere. Some of the girls notice that he's been left behind and look over at him curiously. Jensen tries to give them a little smile, but can barely manage to quirk up one side of his mouth.

"Shouldn't you have gone with them?" a haughty brunette asks.

"Uh, no, I'm not here for Tom," Jensen answers.

"Oh," a pretty blonde that's part of the group says. "Who's the farmer that caught your eye then?"

"Jared," Jensen answers. He thinks he might throw up.

"No way," she exclaims. "Me too! I'm Katie, by the way. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Katie. I'm Jensen," Jensen introduces himself and holds out his hand. She ignores it and hugs him instead.

"Did you say Jared?" a stunningly beautiful girl asks, stepping closer until she's backing him up into the wall.

"Uhm, yeah," Jensen says and holds out his hand again. "Jensen, pleased to meet you."

"Give it a rest, Danneel," Katie says and pushes in between them to get her to back off.

"Oh my God," the girl standing behind Danneel says. "Is Jared gay?"

"The show is called The Farmer's Wife, isn't it?" another voice from the group asks. Jensen wants to correct her, but he's having some trouble keeping up.

"That's not fair," comes another exclamation. "If I'd known he was gay I wouldn't have wasted my time with him."

"Ladies," Katie says loudly. "If Jared was gay, there would have been nine other guys here and none of us. Obviously he must be bi, like Tom. So why don't we all just take a deep breath, relax and may the best woman win. No offense, Jensen," she adds with a wink.

"None taken," Jensen says, and smiles at her. Danneel and her posse stalk off and some friendlier girls step up to introduce themselves. He's still getting hugged when Alona's voice cuts through their chatter again.

"Okay, ladies. Tom has made his selection and now it's Jared's turn. Would all his admirers please follow me?"

Sandy, one of his new allies, grabs his hand and drags him along as they make their way out the door. He feels more than a little ridiculous being herded into the elevator with his nine female counterparts, but then they're moving upwards and he realises he's going to meet Jared. The guy who went on television show looking for a wife. The guy who invited Jensen to LA anyway. The guy he spilled his guts to in a freaking letter.

When the elevator doors open everyone piles out, but Jensen can't move. He's stuck in the corner, paralyzed with fear. He's about to open his mouth and tell them he's sorry, it's all been a huge mistake, but Alona steps back inside to get him.

"Jensen? You're looking a little pale. Are you all right?"

The girls all turn around to look at him and Danneel pretends to hide a sneer behind her hand. Jensen puts on a cocky grin and steps out with an exaggerated swagger.

"Yeah, just giving the ladies a head start. I think they're gonna need it," Jensen says with a playful wink in Katie's direction. He'll save the falling apart for later; he'll be damned if he's gonna do it in front of all these women.

"Afraid it doesn't work like that," Alona says. "You guys will be drawing lots to see who goes first."

She produces a hat from behind her back and offers it to Jensen first. He picks a little slip of paper and hides it in his fist until everyone has drawn theirs. Sandy lets out a triumphant whoop and holds up her number one proudly. Jensen smiles at her. She's one of the nice ones. He finally glances at his own number. Six. Not too soon and not last. Six is good, he decides.

"I'm third," Katie tells him.

"Sixth," Jensen says in return.

"And Gen's eighth. That's a good spread for us."

A door across the hallway opens and Jensen catches a glimpse of long legs stretched out in jeans and a pair of scuffed work boots before it closes again behind Sandy. Alona activates the stopwatch in her hand and the group grows quiet as everyone waits for their turn.

Five minutes seem like an eternity and then altogether too short when Sandy opens the door again and motions the next girl inside.

She walks over calmly and drops down next to them on the couch. They give her a second, but then Katie can't contain herself any longer.

"Well?" she says.

"Well what?" Sandy asks innocently.

"Don't play coy with us, Sandra Dee," Katie says, edging closer to her. "What's he like?"

"Dreamy," Sandy says, pretending to swoon and they all burst out laughing.

The others look over at them dissaprovingly and they quiet down quickly.

"No really," Sandy says. "I'm not joking. There's just no other word for it. He seems like a really good guy."

"My turn," Katie exclaims as the door opens and wow, this is going really fast.

Katie comes back gushing about the tall Texan and suddenly it's almost Jensen's turn. Jensen's looking at the door, palms sweating as he waits for it to open for him and flicks one last glance at the waiting elevator. It's not too late to make a run for it.

"You're gonna be fine," Katie says, squeezing his hand. He can't believe he's made such instant friends with these women and Jensen decides that no matter what, he's glad he came out today.

"Jensen?" Alona calls. The door is open, waiting for him. "Come on, clock's ticking."

He walks in, legs shaky like he's just come back from ten days in zero gravity. Jared is on his feet to meet him and the guy is much taller in person. More handsome, too.

"Hi," Jared says and shakes his hand. His grip is firm, though his palm feels just as sweaty as Jensen's own.

"Hi," Jensen says back and Jared points him to his seat. Once he's settled, there's a few seconds of silence where they just look at each other. Jared pulls at a fraying hole in his jeans.

"You're not wearing your glasses," Jared says, breaking the ice.

"Contacts," Jensen answers. "So, did you catch the Cowboys' game last night?"

"Listen, we only have five minutes, so I'm gonna ask you right now that we don't play any games and just be honest with each other. Okay?"

"Okay," Jensen says.

"I mean, you're a freaking astronaut, man. What the hell are you doing writing to a cattle rancher from Texas?"

"You know that old cliche of the little boy looking up into the sky and dreaming of one day going up there? Well, that was me. It was all I ever wanted. But then I'd come back from a mission and the only people I could share it with was my folks, my brother and sister. They're happy to have me back and all, but there wasn't anyone to kiss me, to hold me tight, to make me feel grounded again."

"I can understand that, but why me?"

"You." Jensen swallows. Jared had asked him to be honest, but spilling your guts like this to a complete stranger wasn't the easiest thing to do. "You looked as lost as I felt."

"Yeah, desperate enough to be on a reality show," Jared says, chuckling. "If you don't mind me saying, I wouldn't think a guy like you would have any problem getting dates."

"With my job, I couldn't risk having a relationship. Then they found out about me anyway and I had to get out."

"I'm sorry."

"It's only been a few months, but Chris is right. It's time for me to get on with my life."

"Chris?"

"My roommate. Best friend, actually. He's the one who was watching the show and who convinced me to write in."

"It's my best friend that got me into this as well," Jared says and they share a knowing smile.

"My turn? Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Jared says.

"Why did you pick me?" Jensen asks.

"Your letter," Jared says immediately. "To tell you the truth, when I agreed to be on the show, I wasn't sure what I hoped to get out of it. I'm still not sure. I made a promise to my father that I would find a wife, start a family and when I couldn't seem to get that done by myself, Chad came up with this. But your letter, man. It was one of the truest, most honest of the whole lot. It was you and I felt ... something. I realized that what I really wanted was to find someone I want to spend the rest of life with, someone that could make me happy and that I could make happy as well. I thought I owed it to both of us to see if that someone might be you."

"Or it could be one of those girls out there," Jensen offers.

"It could be, yes. I'm looking forward to meeting them too, but I think there's something here worth exploring. Guess I'm gonna have to ask you to stick around a little longer so I can figure it out," Jared says.

"I don't think you're supposed to tell me that now," Jensen whispers.

"Probably not," Jared concedes. "I'm not really cut out for the entertainment business, I guess. I'll have to work on my subterfuge techniques."

"Time's up," the cameraman says and Jensen comes to his feet. Jared stands up too and pulls Jensen into a quick hug, thumping him on the back with one of his huge hands. Jensen returns the gesture and steps back.

"I'm really glad you came," Jared says, smiling.

"Me too," Jensen says and walks out as the next girl gets ushered in.

"And?" Sandy asks as he sits down in his empty spot on the couch again.

"Totally dreamy," Jensen says and fakes his own swoon. Katie punches him in the arm and they joke around as they wait for the last few interviews to finish.

Alona goes in afterwards to talk to Jared and a couple of waiters bring out tea and sandwiches for them. The girls all nibble delicately at a slice or two, but Jensen hasn't had anything to eat since yesterday. The roast beef is delicious and he's chewing on his fifth helping when Alona comes back out with Jared in tow. The cameras move into position quickly and Jared stares longingly at the disappearing food as the waiters clear out.

"Ladies, Jared's had a few minutes to meet all of you and now he's going to pick five of you to go on an exciting group date before choosing the final three he'd like to take home with him to Texas. Jared?"

Alona moves a few steps away and Jared clears his throat nervously.

"Uhm, firstly, I'd just like to thank y'all for coming down to see me today. I really appreciate it. This." Jared stops to clear his throat again. "This part sucks, but okay, I guess I better get it over with. Sandy, I'd love to get to know you a little better. Would you like that too?"

"Yes," Sandy says softly and Jensen starts at the way they're looking at each other. There's obviously a very strong connection between the two of them and Jensen thinks that if he could, Jared would send the rest of them home right this instant and take Sandy home.

Jared says goodbye to two girls next before inviting Adrienne, a fellow Texan. Katie and Gen get invited as well and then there's only two of them left. Jensen and Danneel. Jensen knows Jared told him that he would pick him, but he doesn't fool himself. This is reality television and nothing is as it appears to be. He tells himself that he won't mind if Jared decides to send him home instead.

"Jensen."

"What?" Jensen asks, shaken from his reverie.

"I asked whether you would mind coming out with us," Jared says.

"No. I mean, yeah, I'd love to," Jensen stammers and blushes as Jared gives him one last smile before Alona leads him away.

"Aw," Katie croons at him, "you're so cute when you blush."

"Shut up," Jensen says, blushing harder.

Katie pinches his cheek. "So cute."

They say a quick and, in the case of Danneel, imperious goodbye to the girls that have been eliminated. The same assistant that took Jensen's bag before appears to show them to their rooms. They're all on the same floor, everyone tagging along as they're settled one after the other. Jensen is the last in the line and he gratefully leans against the door behind him when it closes for a bit of peace and quiet. There's a knock against his back, and Jensen groans.

"We're going down to the bar for a few drinks," Gen says when he opens the door. "Want to come along?"

"That's real nice of you guys, but I'm beat. I think I'm gonna order a burger or something from room service and then call it a night."

"Okay, well, sweet dreams then. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," Jensen agrees and then he's mercifully alone again. He likes the girls, but he desperately needs some time to himself. Jared is everything those few minutes onscreen promised him to be, and so much more. He's warm, honest and frankly the most beautiful man Jensen has ever laid eyes on. Jensen would be lying if he said he wasn't halfway in love already. Which is plain ridiculous and not a little bit dangerous. Jared may have shown interest in him, but he's also shown the same interest in four other woman. Jared even freely admitted that he joined the show looking for a wife and Jensen can't help feeling that he was picked purely to satisfy some kind of curiosity. It feels like he's expected to offer his heart and soul up on a platter and that's before Jared even decides he wants him and Jensen doesn't know how to feel about it. He knows if he doesn't put himself out there, he doesn't ever stand a chance at happiness, but he also feels like he's lost so much already. Could he survive having a broken heart on top of everything?

Long after he's gone to bed, he still can't stop picturing the way Jared's cheeks had dimpled when he smiled at him though.



Jared will admit to being curious about Jensen. But he thought he'd meet with the guy, prove to himself once and for all which way his preferences lay, most probably prove that he's indeed looking for a wife and move on. Then Jensen walked in with those bow legs of his and those freckles that begged to be counted one by one and when Jared opened his mouth something entirely different came out.

He chose Jensen to go through to the next phase of the elimination process, for heaven's sake.

Jared stops pacing up and down in his hotel room and flops down on the bed. He digs his phone out of his back pocket and hits Megan's number.

"You okay, Jare?" she asks, answering on the first ring.

"I'm okay. I picked Jensen," Jared blurts out.

"You know I'm not gonna freak out about that, right? You do whatever you need to be happy, Jared."

"But I really liked the girls too. I don't know what I want anymore. Am I straight, gay or bi?" Jared asks.

"What is straight? Or gay? Labels, a neat little box you want to fit into? You're Jared and that's all you need to be. Now stop having your little meltdown and tell me. Is he as cute in person?"

"Cuter. Except he didn't wear his glasses. I would have loved to see the glasses."

"See? You have to at least keep him around long enough to see the glasses."

"I love you, Megan."

"I love you, Jare. Enjoy your date."

"I will. See you soon."

Jared ends the call and flicks on the TV. There's a game on and a whole platter of chocolate to keep him from brooding about his upcoming date.

Tom's group is going first, so Jared has to wait a few days before it's his turn. The show only has one camera crew and each date lasts a whole day to give them as much time together as possible. By the end, he's hopped up on way too much sugar and beyond anxious to get it over and done with so he can head back to his ranch. He doesn't even know what activity they've got lined up for them.

Jared finagles the room numbers of his dates from one of the assistants and picks them up along the way as he makes his way down to the foyer. By the time Alona gets to the hotel, they're all having breakfast together, laughing and chatting like old friends.

"Mr. Padalecki," she exclaims with her hands on her hips. "I think this counts as cheating."

"You took too long, and I couldn't wait any longer to spend some time with my gorgeous dates," Jared says with a wink to the camera following Alona.

The camera slowly pans over the ensemble, all dressed casually in jeans and t-shirts as per Alona's instruction.

"Well then, let's get this show on the road," Alona says and herds them outside into the waiting shuttle.

It's a short drive and then they're being dropped in front of a nondescript building of grey stone.

"As you know, Jared is from Texas, as is Adriene and Jensen. So we thought, what's big in Texas that you guys might enjoy doing?"

"Football?" Adrienne offers.

"Drinking?" Gen says, already holding onto her stomach.

"Guns," Alona exclaims. "This is a shooting range. What better way to show what you're made of than shooting a few targets to smithereens? We've arranged for a very capable instructor to show you guys the ropes."

Jared grins like a kid in a toy store and holds open the door for everyone to go inside. His two left feet are just glad it's not dancing lessons. Jensen's the last one through and he takes the door from Jared, motioning for Jared to go in ahead of him. He's been very quiet thus far, hiding away at the back of the group, but now his bright eyes are on Jared as he grins excitedly.

"Let's go fuck some shit up," Jensen says.

"Yeah!" Jared whoops and runs over to where the instructor is already handing out guns to the girls.

He gives them a thorough review on safety and after the guys assure him they know what they're doing, focuses his attention on teaching the ladies the basics.

Katie takes the first shot and they can't help laughing when the recoil almost knocks her flat on her ass.

"Okay, smartass," she says to Jensen, who's laughing the loudest. "Let's see you do any better."

Jensen gives her a little bow and steps up to the line, motioning for the crew to put up a fresh target. Then he asks them to take it back as far as it can go, the full hundred yards.

"Stop stalling, show off," Gen calls and Jensen flashes her a grin before turning abruptly and firing off six shots in quick succession. His posture, the line of his extended arm, is all perfect and for the first time Jared experiences a physical reaction to Jensen when he feels his dick twitching in his shorts.

Jensen lowers the weapon, flicks on the safety and waits for the target to be retrieved. Sandy grabs it from the dummy as soon as it comes to a stop and holds it up completely stunned. There's a hole right in the center of the target, slightly ragged from the numerous rounds that passed through it.

"Oh my God, Jensen. Where did you learn to shoot like that?" Jared asks, reaching out to stroke a finger over it.

"Military training, dude. Started out in the Air Force."

"Thought you always wanted to be an astronaut."

"I did. It's a pre-requisite to qualify for training."

Jared suddenly realises how little he actually knows about Jensen. About his family, his job, everything that makes up the man that's standing in front of him. He also realizes he wants to know, can't wait to learn more.

His first choice made, he claps a hand on Jensen's shoulder.

"Come on, then. That means you can help me show these girls how to get things done."

Jared tries to spend an equal amount of time with all of the girls, seeing if the initial spark he felt is still there and maybe has the potential for growing into something more. Adrienne asks him to help her get them all some sodas and uses their time alone to ask him to please not invite her to go back to the ranch with him.

"You're a great guy, Jared, but the connection's just not there, you know?"

He admires the hell out of her for being honest with him and giving it to him straight. It also makes his final choice that much harder, knowing that the other girls do all feel something more and that he's going to have to let one of them down.

They enjoy their refreshments as Katie and Gen complain about their sore shoulders, pulling up the sleeves of their shirts to check for bruises.

"Looks like you guys had fun," Alona says behind them and Jared winces inwardly. It's time.

Everyone starts moving away to line up, but Jared stops them. He's had enough of them standing in a row like cattle at auction waiting to be bid on.

"Thanks guys, I had a great time today and I think we've all become good friends already. God, is this part ever gonna suck any less?" Jared brushes his hair out of his eyes and turns towards Adrienne first.

"Adrienne, you asked me to let you go home, and I can't tell you how much I respect that. You are gonna make some guy an awesome partner one day."

Adrienne gives everyone a quick hug and then with one last wave of her hand, she's gone.

"Jensen, I'd love for you to come along and see the ranch. How about it?"

"I honestly thought I'd be going home after today," Jensen says, looking completely taken by surprise to be asked. He digs his hands into his pockets and looks down at his shoes for a second. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Jared says, lifting Jensen's head by hooking a finger under his chin.

"Then yes," Jensen says, "I'll go."

Sandy accepts next and then Jared has to let Katie down. She accepts it graciously, if with some unshed tears shining in her eyes. She lets Jared give her a hug goodbye and then congratulates Sandy and Gen. She says goodbye to Jensen last, whispering quietly in his ear as she hugs him. He tightens his arms around her, nods and presses a kiss to her forehead before letting her go.

"That was pretty emotional, Jared," Alona says. "How are feeling about your decision."

"Pretty good. I can't wait to get these guys back to the ranch and show them everything," Jared says, finding a smile for the camera.

"Well then, let's get back to the hotel to pack," Alona says and leads them outside.

Part 2