Spock/Uhura, "A Mutual Feeling" Part 3 of 4
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Title: A Mutual Feeling, Part 3 of 4
Characters/pairings: Uhura, Gaila, Spock, Kirk, Spock/Uhura
Rating: PG-13
Words: 4,200
Disclaimer: Star Trek sure ain't mine
Author's note: Huge thanks goes to mrstater for her beta work. She always makes me a better writer.
Summary: The evolution of a harmless crush into one of the most important relationships of Uhura's life. A series of Uhura-centric scenes during her final 18 months at Starfleet Academy. Part I, Part II
Part III: Romance
Nyota arrived at her mother's home just outside Nairobi on a hot afternoon. The sky was bleached white by the relentless sun and the forested park beyond the river looked wild and endess--someplace you could be lost forever. It was perfect.
More than a dozen jubilant relatives and friends waited to greet her. Nyota was the only member of her childhood circle who had left Africa for her career, and soon she would be leaving Earth altogether. She was something of a prized curiosity among her loved ones.
It should have been easy to forget her troubles in the constant cacophony of sound--the laughter, the exchange of anecdotes, the telling of jokes, and the music. But she could never quite let go.
The first night she stayed up with her mother, aunts, uncles, and cousins late into the night singing and making music. When she sang two Vulcan folk-songs for them, they praised her for the depth of emotion she conveyed even in a language none of them understood. Not one of them guessed that all of that emotion was evoked not by the songs, but by her thoughts of the man who taught them to her.
She spent the next several days in pure indolence, sleeping late, taking lazy strolls by the river, and frolicking every night with her old crowd. If any of them noticed that she seemed distant and distracted, none of them commented. They welcomed her without question, just as they always had.
In the early afternoon of her fifth day there, Nyota lay listlessly in the hammock on her mother's veranda, staring up at the clouds.
"Nyota! Nyota!" called her mother, bustling through the door. "Look who's come to see you!"
A wide smile spread across her face at the sight of the tall, broad-shouldered young man standing behind her mother. "Solomon!" She leapt to her feet, and he caught her in an easy embrace.
Solomon was her oldest friend, and her first lover. He had studied industrial architecture, and was now living in Somalia and working as an assistant supervisor over the construction of a new shuttle-port there.
"I thought you were too busy with work to come see me," she said.
He grinned. "I thought the same about you, until I heard you had actually come home. I had to come see you. Pretty soon you'll be halfway across the galaxy. This might be my last chance."
Nyota and Solomon spent the rest of the day together, wandering the city and catching up on old times. When the night deepened, she let him take her back to his hotel, and into his bed.
Later, as she lay on her side, staring out at the darkness, he ran his fingers lightly down her bare arm. She wished she could feel that without thinking of Spock and the feeling of his hand resting on her shoulder.
"Where are you, Nyota?"
She rolled over to look at him. "I'm right here with you."
"No you're not. You've haven't been with me all night. Not really."
She could never fool Solomon. He could always see right through her.
"Nyota," he said, narrowing his eyes. "Have you gone and fallen in love with someone?"
She sighed, closing her eyes and running her hand through her hair. "Yes. I have."
Solomon sat up. "And this man is foolish enough to let you run off to Nairobi to be with me instead of keeping you in San Francisco for himself?"
Nyota rolled over onto her stomach, resting her chin on her hands. "It's not like that. It's complicated."
"Complicated? Is that some sort of code word that women understand? What do you mean? Doesn't he love you?"
She squeezed her eyes shut. What was love, to a Vulcan? The private smiles he saved just for her? The little touches? The way he drew her into his personal life while excluding everyone else? Was that love?
"I don't know," she said softly. "I don't know."
"Why don't you ask him?"
"I can't."
"Can't? Why not?"
She sat up and leaned back against the headboard, clutching a pillow over her chest. She suddenly felt far too exposed. "Because he's a senior officer, and I'm his research assistant and getting involved would violate Starfleet regulations. Besides--in less than three weeks he's getting on a Starship and warping away and I have no idea when I'll see him again."
Solomon stared at her with raised eyebrows. "So what?"
"So what?! Didn't you just hear me? I can't be with him!"
"No. All I heard was a string of excuses. What happened to you, Nyota? When did you get so afraid? You used to be as fearless as a lioness. What is it about this man that frightens you so much?"
The tears started running down her cheeks before she had a chance to stop them. She shook her head and wiped the moisture away from her cheeks. "What if he doesn't want me?"
Solomon reached forward to place his palms firmly on both sides of her face. He looked intensely into her eyes. "Then he's a fool, and doesn't deserve your love. Then you move on."
She drew in a deep, shuddering breath, and nodded slightly as he pushed the hair back from her face and wiped away her tears.
"You can do this, Nyota. I know you can. Even if you have to give up on him and get on with your life." A playful grin spread across his face. "If you can get over losing me, you can get over losing anyone."
Nyota laughed, and leaned against his chest, taking comfort in his embrace. "You're right. I can do this. I'm so glad you came to see me, Solomon. This was exactly what I needed."
The next afternoon, she boarded a shuttle for San Francisco.
***
Spock answered his door after the first chime.
"Nyota…I did not expect you back for three more days. Please, come in."
"Yeah, I decided to come home early."
She stepped tentatively into his apartment. She'd been there on three other occasions--twice for tea and conversation after attending lectures together, and once so he could demonstrate his proficiency on the Vulcan lute--but it still felt like a foreign environment to her. Instead of the sparse and stoic decor that she had expected, pieces of art and sculpture were generously scattered throughout, and his furnishings featured fabrics in bright colors and bold geometric patterns. It was like all the brilliant complexities of his character that he normally hid from nearly everyone had somehow been put on display. One thing about the apartment, however, was completely predictable: everything was perfectly clean and tidy.
"Was your trip unsatisfactory?" Spock asked, leading her into the kitchen and putting a tea kettle on the heating unit.
Nyota smiled as he proceeded to put a teabag of her favorite Indian black tea into a mug, along with two tablets of sweetener, just as she'd had on her previous visits. He didn't get out a mug for himself.
"No," she replied, folding her arms and leaning against the wall as if the solidity of the structure would lend its strength to her jittery nerves. "I had a great time. But this afternoon I just felt like it was time to come home."
He arched an eyebrow. "Indeed." The teapot began to whistle, and he poured the hot water into her mug. "Shall we sit?"
She nodded, and followed him back to the living room. They sat together on his vivid red sofa, and he placed her mug on the coffee table in front of her. The table was covered with a neat row of nearly half-a-dozen PADDs.
"What have you been up to?" she asked, indicating the PADDs.
"I have been reviewing the inventory of scientific supplies and equipment for the Enterprise, and working my way through applications from officers who wish to serve in the Science Department onboard. There is still much to be done before we can embark."
Nyota lifted her mug to take a sip of the sweet and flavorful tea. Then she set it down and stiffened her spine. If he talked much more about embarking on the Enterprise she was going to lose her nerve. She had to act now.
"Actually," she said, "there's a very specific reason that I felt like I needed to come home early."
"Oh. May I inquire why?"
She took a deep breath. "For this."
She reached up to touch his cheek with her hand, gently turned his face toward hers, leaned toward him, and kissed him on the lips.
He did not kiss her back, or put his arms around her. She hadn't expected him to.
She kept the kiss brief--she wasn't going to push him too far. As quietly and quickly as she had leaned into him, she pulled back, folding her hands in her lap.
For a moment Spock looked down at her in undisguised astonishment before regaining his composure.
"Nyota--I…" He paused. It was the first time she had ever heard him stumble over his words. He started again. "Am I to assume, from your action, that you desire to engage in a romantic relationship with me?"
"Yes." She held his gaze, refusing to let her focus waver. He needed to see how committed she was to this. "That's what I want."
Their gazes remained locked for several more seconds. He was the first to turn away, looking down at his PADD-covered table.
"I have often suspected that you harbored romantic inclinations toward me," he said, "but when you did not act on them I assumed that you had reached the same conclusion that I had: it would be illogical to embark on such a course in our relationship when we are so soon to be parted." He rested his hands lightly on his knees, and continued to look down at the table.
Nyota considered his words for a moment before answering. "So…you've thought about having a romantic relationship with me?"
"Yes. I have."
She drew in a few cleansing breaths before responding. She needed to remain calm. Just because he'd thought about it didn't mean he wanted it.
He spoke again. "Since joining Starfleet it has become clear to me that my life will be spent largely in the company of humans. I have often felt that it would be logical to follow my father's example, and eventually take a human spouse. I am not now at the stage of my career where I feel ready to begin a family. However, I have, on occasion, considered the possibility of experimenting with human romantic relationships." At last he looked up to meet her gaze once again. "Whenever such ideas have entered my mind over the past year, you were at the forefront of my thoughts."
Nyota suddenly felt weak, and dizzy. All this time she'd thought she'd been the only one pretending not to have feelings beyond friendship. But now, he had all but admitted to doing the same. "Why didn't you say anything to me?"
"You know as well as I that Starfleet regulation expressly forbids romantic fraternization between cadets and instructors. Additionally, before you ever enrolled in my class I had already submitted a request for assignment to the Enterprise. My decision was made. My course was set. It was clear that there would be only a narrow window of time following my cessation of duties as an instructor during which a romantic relationship would be possible."
"And you decided it would be illogical to attempt a relationship in that narrow window of time?"
At last, he looked back up at her. "Yes. But that reasoning was only a secondary factor in my decision. I want you to know, Nyota, that my primary consideration is, and has always been, your happiness."
She held her breath and gripped her knees with her hands, trying to untangle his reasoning. "I don't understand."
He shifted to angle his body toward hers and leaned forward. "From my limited observation of human romance, it appears that such relationships rely heavily on immediacy, as well as upon frequency of contact. I deduced that if we were to engage in a romantic relationship of unusually short duration followed immediately by my departure, it would only serve to intensify your distress at our separation. Since my primary object is to enhance your happiness, I chose to avoid actions that I felt would serve only to cause you pain."
Slowly, she stretched her hand forward to rest it lightly on his knee. "Thank you for putting so much thought into analyzing the possibility of a relationship with me. It means the world to me that you value my happiness so highly. It really does. But you need to know that your conclusions were wrong."
His eyebrow shot up. "They were? What, then, are the correct conclusions?"
She took another deep breath and leaned closer to him. There was no turning back now. "What you failed to comprehend in your analysis is just how much pain I'll feel at our separation if we don't have a romantic relationship first."
She paused, looking deeply into his eyes. "It will be extreme. Not only will I feel the pain of separation from my best friend, but I will also feel the pain of romantic rejection. On the other hand, having even just two weeks of happiness with you right here, right now, will make the pain of separation much easier to bear."
His other eyebrow rose. "Your reasoning defies logic."
"I know. Get used to it." She smiled. "But here's some logic for you: if your primary consideration is really my happiness, and my happiness will be greatest if I get to spend the next two weeks in a relationship with you, then the logical conclusion should be evident." She gently squeezed his knee.
He unclasped his hands and moved one to rest atop hers. "Your logic in this scenario is valid. I cannot dispute your conclusion."
"So, the question is, Spock, what do you want? I've made my choice. You need to make yours."
They sat in silence for more than a minute, leaning toward each other, his warm hand almost smothering hers where it lay on his knee.
Finally, he spoke. "Having so lately been your teacher and you my research assistant, I am concerned about the image of impropriety--"
That was all she needed to hear. "Fine. I get it. You don't need to say anything else." She had done all she could, but it still wasn't enough.
She rose to her feet and tried to pull her hand away, but he gripped it tightly. "Nyota--I was not finished speaking. Please, stay."
The intensity in his voice was impossible to ignore. She sank back down onto the sofa, her stomach doing jumping jacks inside of her while he continued to grip her hand.
"As I was saying, though our relationship is no longer in violation of regulations, it could still convey the image of impropriety."
Had he just said our relationship?
"For that reason," he continued, "I would request that we proceed with extreme discretion and the utmost concern for privacy. Naturally, you will have to desist your work in my lab immediately. Can you agree to these conditions?"
Her mouth hung open for a moment before she blurted out, "Yes! Yes. I absolutely can." She hesitated, staring deep into his eyes. "Does this mean that you've decided…?"
"To proceed down this new course in our relationship? Yes. I have."
An irrepressible grin spread across Nyota's face. She had come here almost certain of rejection. She'd never been happier to be wrong.
The corners of his mouth danced upward, and a surprisingly playful gleam shone in his eyes. "Does my decision make you happy?"
She laughed. "Yes. Right now I am happier than I have been in weeks."
"Excellent. I am pleased."
She placed her second hand on top of his, sandwiching his large, warm hand between her own.
"Before we proceed further," said Spock, "I must ask for your assistance."
Nyota raised her eyebrows, her eyes immediately darting to the line of PADDs on the table. "Yes. Of course. Anything."
He added his second hand to pile of hands now resting on his knee. "I have very limited knowledge regarding how to behave in a human romance. In this subject, I believe that it will be necessary for you to assume the role of teacher, with me as your pupil."
"I think I can manage that."
Nyota felt like she was floating. Spock wanted to be with her. He really wanted to be with her. She leaned forward again, closing the short distance between them.
This time, when her lips met his he responded in kind. Their lips moved together in a slow, gentle exploration. Even after the kiss ended he continued to lean into her, softly nuzzling her forehead.
Nyota remained still, her eyes closed, as her heart soared in silent exaltation.
Spock pulled back, once more looking into her eyes. "I have never done that before today. Was it…satisfactory?"
She struggled to restrain her laughter. "Yes. Very. I may not have much teaching to do after all."
***
The first week of their new relationship proceeded very much as their friendship had. Only now they chose restaurants and events further from campus, and never found themselves in the same lab at the same time. There were, however, a few significant changes in their behavior toward each other.
Nyota learned, much to her delight, that desire occasionally trumped logic. Spock never once complained about the dubious rationality of stealing kisses in turbolifts, dark corners, and even once in an empty classroom.
He rarely embraced her when they kissed, but he never drew back from her touch. When they strolled through the city his hands remained clasped behind his back instead of taking her arm. And he never once complimented her appearance. But Nyota didn't mind missing out on those aspects of more conventional relationships.
Spock was hers, and she was his. That was all that mattered.
Eight days after her eventful return from Nairobi, Spock greeted her at their chosen restaurant with an announcement.
"I have news," he said, as the hostess led them to their table.
"What kind of news?"
"News regarding the Enterprise."
Nyota waited expectantly.
Spock continued. "In the most recent series of diagnostic tests, serious malfunctions were detected in the environmental regulation system. The entire system must be overhauled, and many key components will need to be rebuilt."
She raised her eyebrows. "Huh. The contractors who made those mistakes won't be working for Starfleet again."
"No. They most certainly will not."
Nyota swirled the ice in her glass. "So," she said, trying not to sound too hopeful, "will the maiden voyage be delayed?" She lifted her glass to take a sip.
"Yes. By five or six weeks."
She almost choked on her drink. "Oh. My. That's a major delay. I'm sorry."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "No. You are not."
Nyota burst into laughter. "You're right. I'm not. Not at all."
The corners of his mouth pricked up. "Neither am I."
***
Gaila had been hounding Nyota for weeks to discover why she seemed so happy all the time. Nyota had stubbornly refused to give in.
When she'd found Kirk under Gaila's bed the night before, she couldn't help but wonder if Gaila's fling with Kirk was a sort of punishment for her refusal to give up her secrets.
"How can you stand him?" asked Nyota as she scanned the messages on her computer.
"He's cute." Gaila sat perched on the edge of her bed, painting her toenails bright pink.
"Lots of better guys are cute."
"And he's charming."
"Lots of better guys are charming." Nyota stood up and pulled on her uniform jacket.
Gaila glanced up. "Where are you off to? I thought you were free today?"
"I have a date," said Nyota tugging on her boots.
"No way! With who?"
Nyota stood and smiled down at her roommate. "With Kirk."
Gaila's jaw dropped. "No way!"
"Yes." Nyota laughed. "I'm about to go see him get his ass kicked by the Kobayashi Maru test again."
***
Nyota wasn't sure if what Spock was doing could technically be called fuming, but it certainly came close.
"So you're sure he cheated?" she asked.
"I am certain off it. All that remains is to discover how. Which necessitates spending the remainder of the day here in the lab analyzing computer code."
"I'm sorry," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Do you want me to stay and help?"
"No." He shook his head. "Two of my colleagues from the Programming department will be joining me shortly. The Academy has a vested interest in ensuring that nothing of this sort ever happens again."
Nyota sighed, and lightly ruffled the hair at the back of his neck. "Okay. I guess I'll cancel our dinner reservations."
"That would be prudent."
She stood back and watched him scan through several screens filled with endless code. It looked like he was going to have a very long day.
"Kirk is one of your classmates, is he not?" Spock suddenly asked.
"Yes. He is."
Still scanning the screen with his eyes, he asked, "Do you know him well?"
"As well as I want to." She stepped over to lean against the desk beside him.
"What is your assessment of his character?"
"If you're asking me if he's the kind of man who will cheat, you're damn right he is. He's arrogant, obnoxious, pig-headed and completely annoying. The worst part is, he's brilliant. A tactical genius, and he knows it. That's why he hates losing, and he'll do anything in his power to win. Even if it means cheating. He's utterly relentless."
"You sound as if you harbor some personal animosity toward him." Spock's eyes remained glued to the screen.
"Annoyance more than animosity. He's been pursuing me since he enlisted, and won't give up no matter how many times I shoot him down."
Somehow Spock's spine got even stiffer. He slowly drew his hands away from the computer controls and turned to look up at her. "He has pursued you romantically?"
Nyota couldn't help but smile at the sudden note of jealousy in his voice. "Not romantically," she replied. "Sexually."
Spock's eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. "Indeed." He snapped his head back to the computer display and resumed his analysis of the code. "Once I have successfully proved his malfeasance, he will never bother you again."
Her eyes widened. "Do you mean… He'll be expelled?"
"That is the probable outcome, yes."
"I don't know." She shook her head. "I don't think he deserves expulsion. A formal reprimand, certainly. But not expulsion."
Spock stopped his work to look at her again. "Why do you defend him if you dislike him so much?"
"Spock, there's no reason to be jealous--"
"I am not jealous. I am merely making an inquiry."
Nyota frowned, but let it go. It wasn't worth an argument. "I'm defending him because whether I like him or not, he has a lot of great potential as an officer. It would be a shame for Starfleet to lose someone of his talents because of a juvenile prank."
"It was considerably more than a prank." Spock turned back to his work. "I shall review his files and consider your opinion before making my own recommendation to the disciplinary counsel. Thank you for your insights. They have been most illuminating."
Her frown deepened. She knew a tone of dismissal when she heard it, but Spock had never spoken to her like that before. She, of all people, knew by now that his emotions were not nearly as tightly controlled as they seemed. This was probably the first time in his life that he'd had to deal with a feeling of jealousy, and he was taking it out on Kirk.
She could think of only one way to remedy the situation. She leaned down, took his face in her hands, and kissed him passionately. His stiffened in surprise for a moment, but then relaxed and responded in kind, reaching up to stroke her hair as they kissed.
After a few moments Nyota finally pulled back, but kept one of her hands pressed lightly to his cheek. "Do you trust me?"
"Completely."
"Then believe me when I say that the only reason I said Kirk would make a good officer, is because he really will make a good officer. And believe me when I say that I would never look twice at an obnoxious farm boy like him when I have a brilliant gentleman like you. Okay?"
He nodded, his look of frustration completely dissipated. "Understood."
"So go easy on him. He doesn't deserve to be expelled."
Spock took a deep breath. "I will evaluate his actions according to the demands of the Starfleet Academy Code of Conduct. Nothing more, nothing less."
Nyota nodded. That was the best she could expect. She just hoped Kirk wouldn't have to pay too high a price for his prank.
A/N: Part 4 now up!
Title: A Mutual Feeling, Part 3 of 4
Characters/pairings: Uhura, Gaila, Spock, Kirk, Spock/Uhura
Rating: PG-13
Words: 4,200
Disclaimer: Star Trek sure ain't mine
Author's note: Huge thanks goes to mrstater for her beta work. She always makes me a better writer.
Summary: The evolution of a harmless crush into one of the most important relationships of Uhura's life. A series of Uhura-centric scenes during her final 18 months at Starfleet Academy. Part I, Part II
Part III: Romance
Nyota arrived at her mother's home just outside Nairobi on a hot afternoon. The sky was bleached white by the relentless sun and the forested park beyond the river looked wild and endess--someplace you could be lost forever. It was perfect.
More than a dozen jubilant relatives and friends waited to greet her. Nyota was the only member of her childhood circle who had left Africa for her career, and soon she would be leaving Earth altogether. She was something of a prized curiosity among her loved ones.
It should have been easy to forget her troubles in the constant cacophony of sound--the laughter, the exchange of anecdotes, the telling of jokes, and the music. But she could never quite let go.
The first night she stayed up with her mother, aunts, uncles, and cousins late into the night singing and making music. When she sang two Vulcan folk-songs for them, they praised her for the depth of emotion she conveyed even in a language none of them understood. Not one of them guessed that all of that emotion was evoked not by the songs, but by her thoughts of the man who taught them to her.
She spent the next several days in pure indolence, sleeping late, taking lazy strolls by the river, and frolicking every night with her old crowd. If any of them noticed that she seemed distant and distracted, none of them commented. They welcomed her without question, just as they always had.
In the early afternoon of her fifth day there, Nyota lay listlessly in the hammock on her mother's veranda, staring up at the clouds.
"Nyota! Nyota!" called her mother, bustling through the door. "Look who's come to see you!"
A wide smile spread across her face at the sight of the tall, broad-shouldered young man standing behind her mother. "Solomon!" She leapt to her feet, and he caught her in an easy embrace.
Solomon was her oldest friend, and her first lover. He had studied industrial architecture, and was now living in Somalia and working as an assistant supervisor over the construction of a new shuttle-port there.
"I thought you were too busy with work to come see me," she said.
He grinned. "I thought the same about you, until I heard you had actually come home. I had to come see you. Pretty soon you'll be halfway across the galaxy. This might be my last chance."
Nyota and Solomon spent the rest of the day together, wandering the city and catching up on old times. When the night deepened, she let him take her back to his hotel, and into his bed.
Later, as she lay on her side, staring out at the darkness, he ran his fingers lightly down her bare arm. She wished she could feel that without thinking of Spock and the feeling of his hand resting on her shoulder.
"Where are you, Nyota?"
She rolled over to look at him. "I'm right here with you."
"No you're not. You've haven't been with me all night. Not really."
She could never fool Solomon. He could always see right through her.
"Nyota," he said, narrowing his eyes. "Have you gone and fallen in love with someone?"
She sighed, closing her eyes and running her hand through her hair. "Yes. I have."
Solomon sat up. "And this man is foolish enough to let you run off to Nairobi to be with me instead of keeping you in San Francisco for himself?"
Nyota rolled over onto her stomach, resting her chin on her hands. "It's not like that. It's complicated."
"Complicated? Is that some sort of code word that women understand? What do you mean? Doesn't he love you?"
She squeezed her eyes shut. What was love, to a Vulcan? The private smiles he saved just for her? The little touches? The way he drew her into his personal life while excluding everyone else? Was that love?
"I don't know," she said softly. "I don't know."
"Why don't you ask him?"
"I can't."
"Can't? Why not?"
She sat up and leaned back against the headboard, clutching a pillow over her chest. She suddenly felt far too exposed. "Because he's a senior officer, and I'm his research assistant and getting involved would violate Starfleet regulations. Besides--in less than three weeks he's getting on a Starship and warping away and I have no idea when I'll see him again."
Solomon stared at her with raised eyebrows. "So what?"
"So what?! Didn't you just hear me? I can't be with him!"
"No. All I heard was a string of excuses. What happened to you, Nyota? When did you get so afraid? You used to be as fearless as a lioness. What is it about this man that frightens you so much?"
The tears started running down her cheeks before she had a chance to stop them. She shook her head and wiped the moisture away from her cheeks. "What if he doesn't want me?"
Solomon reached forward to place his palms firmly on both sides of her face. He looked intensely into her eyes. "Then he's a fool, and doesn't deserve your love. Then you move on."
She drew in a deep, shuddering breath, and nodded slightly as he pushed the hair back from her face and wiped away her tears.
"You can do this, Nyota. I know you can. Even if you have to give up on him and get on with your life." A playful grin spread across his face. "If you can get over losing me, you can get over losing anyone."
Nyota laughed, and leaned against his chest, taking comfort in his embrace. "You're right. I can do this. I'm so glad you came to see me, Solomon. This was exactly what I needed."
The next afternoon, she boarded a shuttle for San Francisco.
***
Spock answered his door after the first chime.
"Nyota…I did not expect you back for three more days. Please, come in."
"Yeah, I decided to come home early."
She stepped tentatively into his apartment. She'd been there on three other occasions--twice for tea and conversation after attending lectures together, and once so he could demonstrate his proficiency on the Vulcan lute--but it still felt like a foreign environment to her. Instead of the sparse and stoic decor that she had expected, pieces of art and sculpture were generously scattered throughout, and his furnishings featured fabrics in bright colors and bold geometric patterns. It was like all the brilliant complexities of his character that he normally hid from nearly everyone had somehow been put on display. One thing about the apartment, however, was completely predictable: everything was perfectly clean and tidy.
"Was your trip unsatisfactory?" Spock asked, leading her into the kitchen and putting a tea kettle on the heating unit.
Nyota smiled as he proceeded to put a teabag of her favorite Indian black tea into a mug, along with two tablets of sweetener, just as she'd had on her previous visits. He didn't get out a mug for himself.
"No," she replied, folding her arms and leaning against the wall as if the solidity of the structure would lend its strength to her jittery nerves. "I had a great time. But this afternoon I just felt like it was time to come home."
He arched an eyebrow. "Indeed." The teapot began to whistle, and he poured the hot water into her mug. "Shall we sit?"
She nodded, and followed him back to the living room. They sat together on his vivid red sofa, and he placed her mug on the coffee table in front of her. The table was covered with a neat row of nearly half-a-dozen PADDs.
"What have you been up to?" she asked, indicating the PADDs.
"I have been reviewing the inventory of scientific supplies and equipment for the Enterprise, and working my way through applications from officers who wish to serve in the Science Department onboard. There is still much to be done before we can embark."
Nyota lifted her mug to take a sip of the sweet and flavorful tea. Then she set it down and stiffened her spine. If he talked much more about embarking on the Enterprise she was going to lose her nerve. She had to act now.
"Actually," she said, "there's a very specific reason that I felt like I needed to come home early."
"Oh. May I inquire why?"
She took a deep breath. "For this."
She reached up to touch his cheek with her hand, gently turned his face toward hers, leaned toward him, and kissed him on the lips.
He did not kiss her back, or put his arms around her. She hadn't expected him to.
She kept the kiss brief--she wasn't going to push him too far. As quietly and quickly as she had leaned into him, she pulled back, folding her hands in her lap.
For a moment Spock looked down at her in undisguised astonishment before regaining his composure.
"Nyota--I…" He paused. It was the first time she had ever heard him stumble over his words. He started again. "Am I to assume, from your action, that you desire to engage in a romantic relationship with me?"
"Yes." She held his gaze, refusing to let her focus waver. He needed to see how committed she was to this. "That's what I want."
Their gazes remained locked for several more seconds. He was the first to turn away, looking down at his PADD-covered table.
"I have often suspected that you harbored romantic inclinations toward me," he said, "but when you did not act on them I assumed that you had reached the same conclusion that I had: it would be illogical to embark on such a course in our relationship when we are so soon to be parted." He rested his hands lightly on his knees, and continued to look down at the table.
Nyota considered his words for a moment before answering. "So…you've thought about having a romantic relationship with me?"
"Yes. I have."
She drew in a few cleansing breaths before responding. She needed to remain calm. Just because he'd thought about it didn't mean he wanted it.
He spoke again. "Since joining Starfleet it has become clear to me that my life will be spent largely in the company of humans. I have often felt that it would be logical to follow my father's example, and eventually take a human spouse. I am not now at the stage of my career where I feel ready to begin a family. However, I have, on occasion, considered the possibility of experimenting with human romantic relationships." At last he looked up to meet her gaze once again. "Whenever such ideas have entered my mind over the past year, you were at the forefront of my thoughts."
Nyota suddenly felt weak, and dizzy. All this time she'd thought she'd been the only one pretending not to have feelings beyond friendship. But now, he had all but admitted to doing the same. "Why didn't you say anything to me?"
"You know as well as I that Starfleet regulation expressly forbids romantic fraternization between cadets and instructors. Additionally, before you ever enrolled in my class I had already submitted a request for assignment to the Enterprise. My decision was made. My course was set. It was clear that there would be only a narrow window of time following my cessation of duties as an instructor during which a romantic relationship would be possible."
"And you decided it would be illogical to attempt a relationship in that narrow window of time?"
At last, he looked back up at her. "Yes. But that reasoning was only a secondary factor in my decision. I want you to know, Nyota, that my primary consideration is, and has always been, your happiness."
She held her breath and gripped her knees with her hands, trying to untangle his reasoning. "I don't understand."
He shifted to angle his body toward hers and leaned forward. "From my limited observation of human romance, it appears that such relationships rely heavily on immediacy, as well as upon frequency of contact. I deduced that if we were to engage in a romantic relationship of unusually short duration followed immediately by my departure, it would only serve to intensify your distress at our separation. Since my primary object is to enhance your happiness, I chose to avoid actions that I felt would serve only to cause you pain."
Slowly, she stretched her hand forward to rest it lightly on his knee. "Thank you for putting so much thought into analyzing the possibility of a relationship with me. It means the world to me that you value my happiness so highly. It really does. But you need to know that your conclusions were wrong."
His eyebrow shot up. "They were? What, then, are the correct conclusions?"
She took another deep breath and leaned closer to him. There was no turning back now. "What you failed to comprehend in your analysis is just how much pain I'll feel at our separation if we don't have a romantic relationship first."
She paused, looking deeply into his eyes. "It will be extreme. Not only will I feel the pain of separation from my best friend, but I will also feel the pain of romantic rejection. On the other hand, having even just two weeks of happiness with you right here, right now, will make the pain of separation much easier to bear."
His other eyebrow rose. "Your reasoning defies logic."
"I know. Get used to it." She smiled. "But here's some logic for you: if your primary consideration is really my happiness, and my happiness will be greatest if I get to spend the next two weeks in a relationship with you, then the logical conclusion should be evident." She gently squeezed his knee.
He unclasped his hands and moved one to rest atop hers. "Your logic in this scenario is valid. I cannot dispute your conclusion."
"So, the question is, Spock, what do you want? I've made my choice. You need to make yours."
They sat in silence for more than a minute, leaning toward each other, his warm hand almost smothering hers where it lay on his knee.
Finally, he spoke. "Having so lately been your teacher and you my research assistant, I am concerned about the image of impropriety--"
That was all she needed to hear. "Fine. I get it. You don't need to say anything else." She had done all she could, but it still wasn't enough.
She rose to her feet and tried to pull her hand away, but he gripped it tightly. "Nyota--I was not finished speaking. Please, stay."
The intensity in his voice was impossible to ignore. She sank back down onto the sofa, her stomach doing jumping jacks inside of her while he continued to grip her hand.
"As I was saying, though our relationship is no longer in violation of regulations, it could still convey the image of impropriety."
Had he just said our relationship?
"For that reason," he continued, "I would request that we proceed with extreme discretion and the utmost concern for privacy. Naturally, you will have to desist your work in my lab immediately. Can you agree to these conditions?"
Her mouth hung open for a moment before she blurted out, "Yes! Yes. I absolutely can." She hesitated, staring deep into his eyes. "Does this mean that you've decided…?"
"To proceed down this new course in our relationship? Yes. I have."
An irrepressible grin spread across Nyota's face. She had come here almost certain of rejection. She'd never been happier to be wrong.
The corners of his mouth danced upward, and a surprisingly playful gleam shone in his eyes. "Does my decision make you happy?"
She laughed. "Yes. Right now I am happier than I have been in weeks."
"Excellent. I am pleased."
She placed her second hand on top of his, sandwiching his large, warm hand between her own.
"Before we proceed further," said Spock, "I must ask for your assistance."
Nyota raised her eyebrows, her eyes immediately darting to the line of PADDs on the table. "Yes. Of course. Anything."
He added his second hand to pile of hands now resting on his knee. "I have very limited knowledge regarding how to behave in a human romance. In this subject, I believe that it will be necessary for you to assume the role of teacher, with me as your pupil."
"I think I can manage that."
Nyota felt like she was floating. Spock wanted to be with her. He really wanted to be with her. She leaned forward again, closing the short distance between them.
This time, when her lips met his he responded in kind. Their lips moved together in a slow, gentle exploration. Even after the kiss ended he continued to lean into her, softly nuzzling her forehead.
Nyota remained still, her eyes closed, as her heart soared in silent exaltation.
Spock pulled back, once more looking into her eyes. "I have never done that before today. Was it…satisfactory?"
She struggled to restrain her laughter. "Yes. Very. I may not have much teaching to do after all."
***
The first week of their new relationship proceeded very much as their friendship had. Only now they chose restaurants and events further from campus, and never found themselves in the same lab at the same time. There were, however, a few significant changes in their behavior toward each other.
Nyota learned, much to her delight, that desire occasionally trumped logic. Spock never once complained about the dubious rationality of stealing kisses in turbolifts, dark corners, and even once in an empty classroom.
He rarely embraced her when they kissed, but he never drew back from her touch. When they strolled through the city his hands remained clasped behind his back instead of taking her arm. And he never once complimented her appearance. But Nyota didn't mind missing out on those aspects of more conventional relationships.
Spock was hers, and she was his. That was all that mattered.
Eight days after her eventful return from Nairobi, Spock greeted her at their chosen restaurant with an announcement.
"I have news," he said, as the hostess led them to their table.
"What kind of news?"
"News regarding the Enterprise."
Nyota waited expectantly.
Spock continued. "In the most recent series of diagnostic tests, serious malfunctions were detected in the environmental regulation system. The entire system must be overhauled, and many key components will need to be rebuilt."
She raised her eyebrows. "Huh. The contractors who made those mistakes won't be working for Starfleet again."
"No. They most certainly will not."
Nyota swirled the ice in her glass. "So," she said, trying not to sound too hopeful, "will the maiden voyage be delayed?" She lifted her glass to take a sip.
"Yes. By five or six weeks."
She almost choked on her drink. "Oh. My. That's a major delay. I'm sorry."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "No. You are not."
Nyota burst into laughter. "You're right. I'm not. Not at all."
The corners of his mouth pricked up. "Neither am I."
***
Gaila had been hounding Nyota for weeks to discover why she seemed so happy all the time. Nyota had stubbornly refused to give in.
When she'd found Kirk under Gaila's bed the night before, she couldn't help but wonder if Gaila's fling with Kirk was a sort of punishment for her refusal to give up her secrets.
"How can you stand him?" asked Nyota as she scanned the messages on her computer.
"He's cute." Gaila sat perched on the edge of her bed, painting her toenails bright pink.
"Lots of better guys are cute."
"And he's charming."
"Lots of better guys are charming." Nyota stood up and pulled on her uniform jacket.
Gaila glanced up. "Where are you off to? I thought you were free today?"
"I have a date," said Nyota tugging on her boots.
"No way! With who?"
Nyota stood and smiled down at her roommate. "With Kirk."
Gaila's jaw dropped. "No way!"
"Yes." Nyota laughed. "I'm about to go see him get his ass kicked by the Kobayashi Maru test again."
***
Nyota wasn't sure if what Spock was doing could technically be called fuming, but it certainly came close.
"So you're sure he cheated?" she asked.
"I am certain off it. All that remains is to discover how. Which necessitates spending the remainder of the day here in the lab analyzing computer code."
"I'm sorry," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Do you want me to stay and help?"
"No." He shook his head. "Two of my colleagues from the Programming department will be joining me shortly. The Academy has a vested interest in ensuring that nothing of this sort ever happens again."
Nyota sighed, and lightly ruffled the hair at the back of his neck. "Okay. I guess I'll cancel our dinner reservations."
"That would be prudent."
She stood back and watched him scan through several screens filled with endless code. It looked like he was going to have a very long day.
"Kirk is one of your classmates, is he not?" Spock suddenly asked.
"Yes. He is."
Still scanning the screen with his eyes, he asked, "Do you know him well?"
"As well as I want to." She stepped over to lean against the desk beside him.
"What is your assessment of his character?"
"If you're asking me if he's the kind of man who will cheat, you're damn right he is. He's arrogant, obnoxious, pig-headed and completely annoying. The worst part is, he's brilliant. A tactical genius, and he knows it. That's why he hates losing, and he'll do anything in his power to win. Even if it means cheating. He's utterly relentless."
"You sound as if you harbor some personal animosity toward him." Spock's eyes remained glued to the screen.
"Annoyance more than animosity. He's been pursuing me since he enlisted, and won't give up no matter how many times I shoot him down."
Somehow Spock's spine got even stiffer. He slowly drew his hands away from the computer controls and turned to look up at her. "He has pursued you romantically?"
Nyota couldn't help but smile at the sudden note of jealousy in his voice. "Not romantically," she replied. "Sexually."
Spock's eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. "Indeed." He snapped his head back to the computer display and resumed his analysis of the code. "Once I have successfully proved his malfeasance, he will never bother you again."
Her eyes widened. "Do you mean… He'll be expelled?"
"That is the probable outcome, yes."
"I don't know." She shook her head. "I don't think he deserves expulsion. A formal reprimand, certainly. But not expulsion."
Spock stopped his work to look at her again. "Why do you defend him if you dislike him so much?"
"Spock, there's no reason to be jealous--"
"I am not jealous. I am merely making an inquiry."
Nyota frowned, but let it go. It wasn't worth an argument. "I'm defending him because whether I like him or not, he has a lot of great potential as an officer. It would be a shame for Starfleet to lose someone of his talents because of a juvenile prank."
"It was considerably more than a prank." Spock turned back to his work. "I shall review his files and consider your opinion before making my own recommendation to the disciplinary counsel. Thank you for your insights. They have been most illuminating."
Her frown deepened. She knew a tone of dismissal when she heard it, but Spock had never spoken to her like that before. She, of all people, knew by now that his emotions were not nearly as tightly controlled as they seemed. This was probably the first time in his life that he'd had to deal with a feeling of jealousy, and he was taking it out on Kirk.
She could think of only one way to remedy the situation. She leaned down, took his face in her hands, and kissed him passionately. His stiffened in surprise for a moment, but then relaxed and responded in kind, reaching up to stroke her hair as they kissed.
After a few moments Nyota finally pulled back, but kept one of her hands pressed lightly to his cheek. "Do you trust me?"
"Completely."
"Then believe me when I say that the only reason I said Kirk would make a good officer, is because he really will make a good officer. And believe me when I say that I would never look twice at an obnoxious farm boy like him when I have a brilliant gentleman like you. Okay?"
He nodded, his look of frustration completely dissipated. "Understood."
"So go easy on him. He doesn't deserve to be expelled."
Spock took a deep breath. "I will evaluate his actions according to the demands of the Starfleet Academy Code of Conduct. Nothing more, nothing less."
Nyota nodded. That was the best she could expect. She just hoped Kirk wouldn't have to pay too high a price for his prank.
A/N: Part 4 now up!