[CHAPTERED] Boomerang's (CH.11)
Title: Boomerang's
Rating: G-PG13-R-NC17
Pairing: YunJae
Summary: What if fate wasn’t a red string, but a boomerang instead? Yunho's first memory of being in love was when he was 7 years old. Meeting Kim JaeJoong was the start of a nearly 20 year long love that spanned many separations. After being unexpectedly ripped apart at 7, they meet again 10 years later as soccer players on opposing high school teams. On a tragic night, they are pulled a part once again only to find each other 11 years later as adults working at the same hospital. This time, their new complication resides in JaeJoong's memories; or the lack there of. The complications don't stop there. Yunho's fiancé, Song Hyun Gi, is less than pleased to have Yunho's first love back in his life and will stop at will stop at nothing to keep them a part. Will the boomerang return a 4th time, or will the distance finally become too far?
CHAPTER 11 - Revelations
"Good morning!" Yunho smiled at Changmin as he fell into step beside the Neurologist.
"Morning. Doing rounds?" Changmin nodded and shook his clip board at Yunho.
"I started early this morning, working my way across departments. Pediatrics is next." Yunho nodded quietly has he thought of the chance of running into JaeJoong while he checked on his own patient in the pediatrics department. Yunho couldn't believe how much he felt like a teenager with a crush whenever he thought about being near JaeJoong. His irritation with himself was at its peak.
When they crossed the connecting indoor bridge that led into the pediatrics department, it was like being blasted in the face with rainbows. There were brightly colored walls covered in photographs of animals and hand drawn scenes done by the patients. Even the nurses were dressed like they had come out of candy land with their scrubs in nearly every shade of the rainbow.
"It's always so shocking coming over here. It's like being transported into a cartoon." Yunho laughed and nodded in agreement. But he kind of liked it. The rest of the hospital was so serious and bland that this was a welcomed changed. It definitely was a place JaeJoong would fit into.
They turned and headed towards the rooms but Changmin stopped short when he spotted his patient who was sitting on the floor, curled up in JaeJoong's lap. Looking at JaeJoong holding a kid made Yunho feel...well he didn't really know. He just couldn't believe how natural he looked holding the little boy.
"Our Chan-Woo is so brave. You didn't even cry when you got your shot this morning." The little boy, who's head was still wrapped in bandages, smiled up at JaeJoong.
"Cause I didn't want you to think I was weak." The little boy crossed his arms over his puffed out chest making JaeJoong smile.
"You're stronger than the Hulk, Chan-Woo!" Changmin interjected as he stepped in and leaned down to JaeJoong and Chan-Woo's level. "Are you ready to go get your exam?" The little boy nodded and took Changmin's outstretched hand. Before leaving he turned and looked at JaeJoong who was just starting to stand up.
"I don't think we've met yet. I'm Dr. Shim Changmin." JaeJoong smiled and bowed.
"Department head Shim. I saw your name on Chan's chart. His vitals are fine, so I'll let you take over from here." Changmin smiled, but Yunho noted that it was different from the one he offered to everyone else.
"I'll see you around then." JaeJoong nodded and bowed one more time before looking up and noticing Yunho, who should have been seeing a patient at this point.
"Good morning, Yunho. How are you?" Yunho smiled, trying to be as natural as he could.
"I'm great. On my way to see a patient." JaeJoong smiled.
"Well then I won't hold you. I've actually got a few consultations I should be getting to." He turned and began walking away, but stopped and looked back over his shoulder. "Would you like to eat lunch together?"
"Sure. Um, I'll text you when I'm finished with morning appointments." With a whole lot more pep in his step, Yunho continued on to see his patient. On his way out, he bumped into Changmin again who was waving goodbye to his patient and their mother. He fell into step next to Yunho and sighed.
"How long should I wait to ask him out?" Yunho frowned.
"Ask who?" Yunho asked.
"Dr. Kim. I should probably figure out whether or not he's into guys first." He winked at Yunho. "He could definitely be a reason to come home earlier every night." Yunho suddenly felt unreasonably annoyed.
"I thought you had a rule about not dating other doctors. Especially not ones that work at the same hospital as you." Changmin had complained many times about how dating another doctor felt like a competition; who's work was hardest and who saved the most lives. Not once in the last 5 years that Yunho's known him has he said anything different.
"Well rules are meant to be broken. Plus, I'm almost 30. I want to settle down and start a family. It's not going to happen if I keep sitting on my hands because of some silly rule I made up to protect my pride." The seriousness in his voice shocked Yunho. That was the first time he ever heard Changmin sound so serious about wanting to make a commitment. He suddenly felt silly for being annoyed.
"You will for sure find someone." Just please, not JaeJoong, he added in his head.
"I know it will probably never be like what you and Hyun have, but I've got to try." He hit Yunho on the shoulder with his chart. "Got more patients to see. Talk to you later." Yunho waved and went his own way back to his office.
He sat down at his desk and tried to focus on preparing for the days consultations but was having a hard time coping with Changmin's express interest in Jae. He knew that it wasn't fair for him to try to prevent anyone from getting romantically involved with JaeJoong; especially since he was preparing to get married soon. But he was bothered and it made him angry that he was. If he didn't get his shit together, he was going to end up chasing JaeJoong away by being too overprotective and ruining a good thing with Hyun Gi. The prospect of doing either made his stomach clench anxiously.
Yunho closed his eyes and took a long deep breath to recenter his thoughts. He opened his eyes again and pushed the intercom button on his desk.
"Nurse Lee? Please send in the first patient."
-
JaeJoong leaned on the roof top railing, looking out at Seoul that was busy with lunch time traffic and business people hustling in and out of buildings. It was another cold day, but the sun was out for the first time in over a week and he didn't want to miss a chance to feel the warmth on his face.
"I thought you were kidding when you asked to meet on the roof." He smiled and looked at Yunho who had come through the rooftop door. He was holding a bag of food in one hand and small heat packs in the other. He tossed both of them to JaeJoong who moaned at the warmth as soon as they landed in his hands.
"It's so sunny out. And I haven't gotten up to the garden since I've been here and everyone's been telling me I should." Yunho laughed.
"I think they meant you should visit when it wasn't 30 degrees outside." He turned the bag around and presented the logo. "Lucky for you I've got just the thing to warm you up." JaeJoong clapped his hands.
"Lucky Joy Dumplings! How'd you know?" They went over and sat on a bench that was directly under sun. Now that the wind had died down, it was a little more bearable.
"Well you had three servings of dumplings when they were in the cafeteria last week so..." JaeJoong blushed. Dumplings, stuffed pasta shells, egg rolls, and ravioli. God he loved ravioli the most. But if it had filling, he was going to eat it.
"I'm sort of pig when it comes to stuff like that. You'll have to excuse me." Yunho opened the bag and pulled out a large container filled nearly to the top with dumplings, and handed it to JaeJoong. JaeJoong's mouth was practically watering.
"I know the ladies in the kitchen and asked for a few more than the regular order amount. There's pork, chicken, and vegetable filled ones." He then gave JaeJoong a pair of chopsticks before taking out his own, much smaller, container of pad Thai.
"I'm forever in your debt. How can I repay you?" Yunho continued to stir his noodles.
"Like this. Having lunch together whenever we get the chance." JaeJoong stuffed a dumpling in his mouth and chewed slowly. Everything, even the way Yunho said 'good morning' sounded romantic. He had never met anyone who oozed so much charm without trying.
"I can do that." He picked up another dumpling, but decided to put it down and ask the question he had wanted to ask Yunho three weeks ago when they were alone in the cafeteria. "Do you know me?" He shook his head. "I mean of course you know me now, but did you know me before?" He watched as Yunho slowed down chewing and looked at JaeJoong.
"Yeah, I did." JaeJoong inhaled sharply and the need to touch his forehead came over him. He hadn't met anyone that knew him before his accident. Well, his family was there. But he quickly learned that he had been a pain in their side and his father was a business man who hadn't even come home when he found out about his accident. It had been quite clear that there was no love lost when JaeJoong was well enough to leave home and go to medical school.
"Oh. Were we friends or did you hate me and are secretly just being nice to me to get revenge?" Ji-Yoo may have had a point. Yunho, still looking very somber, smiled.
"No not at all. We were friends. Best friends really." He and JaeJoong stared at each other unblinking. JaeJoong gave in first and looked back down at his dumplings. His chest hurt and he didn't know why.
"For how long?" He knew he was pushing it and it was scary. But part of him was curious enough to hold back the fear.
"Since we were 7. But you moved away and we didn't meet again until we were 17." It was so weird hearing things about himself that he didn't remember. Someone else held the key to his history that still remained locked to JaeJoong.
"Why did I move?" He shook his head. "No, never mind. I guess I really just want to know if I was a good friend to you. Did I ever do anything that hurt your feelings?" His own food completely forgotten, Yunho gave his full attention to JaeJoong.
"You have never, not even once, done anything to hurt me. So that worry can be completely put aside." He bit his lip. "Every moment we spent together was blissful. I've wanted to tell you that since realizing that you had amnesia, but I didn't want to overload you with too much in case you still didn't remember much." JaeJoong nodded, feeling his eyes start to burn. He quickly stuffed two more dumplings in his mouth. Ji-Yoo taught him that it was impossible to cry when you're mouth was full. Thankfully she was right.
When he finally finished chewing, he looked at Yunho who had returned to eating.
"Thank you for being considerate. You're exactly right. I know very little about the person I used to be before my accident. Some days I'm really sad about it and other days I try to convince myself that it's a fresh start. But it might be a little different now that I know someone who knew me. So, I'm sorry in advance if I get weird about it or start to want to know more." Yunho placed the lid on his food and set it aside.
"Is it alright if I give you a hug?" JaeJoong opened and closed his mouth at least a half a dozen times before finally nodding. As soon as he was given permission, Yunho pulled JaeJoong in and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. JaeJoong sat perfectly still, afraid that if he moved, he was going to wake up and find that he was in the middle of a dream. After a few minutes passed, Yunho released him and went back to his side of the bench. His expression was unreadable.
"I bet this is weird for you too. I'm really sorry I don't remember you." The other man shook his head, but he didn't look at JaeJoong anymore.
"It's nothing you need to apologize for. I'm just happy that you're alive and well." He finally looked at JaeJoong again, his expression worried. "You are well, right?" JaeJoong smiled and nodded.
"I'm fine. I got prescribed a medication for migraines, which I only get when I'm stressed, so I never take it. Otherwise I workout and stay busy and eat way better than this on a regular bases." He laughed. "But don't stop bringing me dumplings. I'll never forgive you." Yunho laughed with him, his usual kind expression finally returning.
"Eventually we're going to have to change it up. If I keep asking for extra servings of dumplings, they're going to start wondering how many people I'm feeding." JaeJoong gasped.
"Hey! I'm a growing man. I need to be properly fed."
"You're 28."
"Shut up."
-
Yunho tapped his pen on his desk loudly. The sound bounced off the walls of his quiet office, but still wasn't loud enough to distract him from the memory of his conversation with JaeJoong earlier that afternoon.
He felt like an idiot. Hugging JaeJoong had been a test and he had failed it miserably. Every cell in his body was begging him to not let go. There was the same pull, the same electric current, he felt when they use to be together as teens. Despite the slightly broader shoulders, JaeJoong still fit in his arms like a puzzle piece. He rubbed his hand across his chest. Going home now would be a mistake. He couldn't face Hyun Gi while he felt like such a traitor.
Picking up his phone, he scrolled through his contacts until he found the number he was looking for. It rang a for only minute before the line was picked up.
"Mirotic. This is Junsu."
"Can I make a reservation for one under Jung?" Junsu's familiar laugh filtered through the lines.
"Didn't I tell you not to prank call me at work?"
"It's not a prank. I really want to make a reservation. Besides, I knew you weren't going to answer your cell."
"You are correct. I'll get you and Hyun's regular-"
"No. It's just me so I can sit at the bar." Junsu clucked his tongue.
"Ah, so we're drinking our dinner tonight. Can you be here in 15 minutes?" Yunho was already up and grabbing his coat.
"I'll make it 10."
....
Junsu's restaurant was always busy and the dinner rush was especially hectic regardless of what day it was. When he finally found a spot, Yunho headed inside and was immediately encased with warmth. Junsu, who, despite being the owner, was waiting tables and greeting guests. When he finally spotted Yunho, he smiled and waved before hurrying over.
"Hey, you really meant it. Hyun's not with you?" Junsu led the way to the bar and asked for two glasses of bourbon. When they arrived, Yunho took a sip right away. It hit the back of his throat and burned.
"Yeah. He's got a big case coming up, so he's neck deep in prep work. Which I guess is for the best cause I needed to have a few moments to myself." Junsu sipped from his own glass.
"Uh-oh. Is that normal for someone who's only months away from getting married?" Yunho swirled the liquid in the glass.
"Spending time a part is important." Junsu raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah, for other people. But you and Hyun are inseparable whenever you get a bit of free time." Yunho grunted and took another sip.
"We're human, Su. Everything isn't always lollipops and rainbows. Sometimes things are hard." Yunho retorted.
"And right now, that's one of those times." Junsu stated with a understanding look.
"Yes." Yunho answered and Junsu nodded and took a moment to let it soak in as he took another drink from his glass.
"So is there a reason why now you're starting to feel this way?" Yunho looked down at his glass, as if the caramel brown liquid had the answers.
"We're moving our wedding up to April so there's lots of planning going on which means a few more arguments and stress than usual."
"And..." Junsu prodded.
"And, JaeJoong and I work in the same hospital now." Junsu practically fell off his stool. He gripped the bar to steady himself.
"He's alive? Yunho...are you kidding?" Yunho shook his head.
"No. He's a pediatrician and he's healthy and happy. The only thing that's different is that he doesn't remember me. He doesn't remember us." The curious tone in JaeJoong's voice when he asked if Yunho knew him, was still on replay in his head.
"Oh God. That must really difficult for the both of you." He placed a comforting hand on Yunho's shoulder. "How are you handling it?" Yunho chuckled.
"Not well. It's been 11 years since I last saw him and now he's only an elevator ride away every day." He shook his head. "And we're friends! We eat lunch together and joke around. For him it's brand new, but for me it feels like someone has just pressed play on movie they forgot they were watching." The feelings were overwhelming. It was like he had no control over how he felt anymore.
"I'm at a loss for what to say. But I honestly couldn't imagine what it feel like to lose your first love, for what you thought was forever, on to have them turn up again with no clue about your history together. If that happened to me and Hae-In, I don't know what I would do." Junsu's wife is his first love, and the only person he knew he would ever be capable of loving. They met during their first year of college and got engaged their second year. They're a perfect fit by every meaning of the word.
"I just don't know. I love Hyun-Gi with all of my heart. But I'm not sure I ever really let go of Jae." He closed his eyes, trying to will away the conflicted emotions that were coursing through him. It seemed like something he was doing more and more these last few weeks.
"You don't just forget someone you saw yourself spending the rest of your life with; that's a major deal." He patted Yunho's back. "But you've chosen a new path and, though he looks the same and is familiar to you, he may never feel the things he used to. That's a really fine line, but you've got to consider it." Junsu was right, but Yunho didn't want to acknowledge it. In the moments where he felt hurt, he also felt unmentionable amounts of joy whenever he got to spend time with JaeJoong; no matter the length of time. It was just all too familiar and he was having a hard time distinguishing between their past and their present.
"The only real way to clear my head is to try to avoid him." Junsu smiled sadly at his friend.
"But you don't want to do that, do you?" Yunho shook his head, the ache in his chest becoming harder to ignore.
"No. I don't"
-
"Are you going to do it?"
"No."
"Why?" JaeJoong sighed for what felt like the hundredth time since beginning this conversation with Ji-Yoo.
"Because our texts have never gone farther than me letting him know I'm home and him saying goodnight in response. I refuse to embarrass myself by initiating more." Ji-Yoo groaned.
"He knows you! Better than anyone else in fact. So I highly doubt he'd find you texting him to be embarrassing." JaeJoong put his head between his knees. "What are you doing?"
"Panicking. Isn't it obvious?" Ji-Yoo grabbed him and pushed his phone into his hand.
"Text him. Ask him about his day. Be a normal person." JaeJoong whined.
"You are asking for so much right now." She pushed him over on the couch as she stood up and straightened her uniform.
"Don't take offense to this, Oppa but: please grow a pair." She filled her apron pockets with her keys and cellphone and wallet. "When I see you tomorrow, I want to hear every last detail about how good he is at sexting."
"Ji!" She ran out of the apartment before the pillow JaeJoong threw could hit her. When she was gone, JaeJoong laid down on the couch and stared at his phone. It had been exactly one week since Yunho revealed that he knew JaeJoong before his accident. They hadn't had time to eat lunch together since and they hadn't ran in to each other either. Even though he was relieved, for reasons he didn't understand, that he hadn't spent any more time with Yunho since, he was genuinely curious about how Yunho was doing. But he didn't want to look pushy or desperate. He took a deep breath clicked on his messages. His thumb hovered over the keyboard as he tried to figure out what to say.
"'Hi' is probably a good start, dumb-ass." He grumbled at himself. He groaned trying to figure out why he was having such a hard time with a really simple thing. Friends texted each other all the time, so why was this so difficult? He rolled over on the couch and finally typed the first text: 'Hi'. Before even checking if it sent, he locked his phone and held it to his chest.
Looking for a distraction, he grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned on the tv. He then got up and lit a fire in the fireplace and went to the kitchen to get a glass of wine. Instead of obsessing over a text, he should be enjoying his first chart free, night he's had in almost 5 weeks. He also should have been celebrating the fact that he finally felt adjusted to the new environment.
Heading backing into the living room, he selected the button for Netflix and began to click through in search of something to watch. Before he could take his first sip of wine, his phone vibrated next to him on the couch. He put down the remote and picked it up.
"Hey. I was just thinking about texting you. How are you?" JaeJoong took a large gulp of wine before putting the glass down on the coffee table. He held his phone in both hands and reminded himself to act normal.
"Great minds think alike. I'm doing alright. How about you?" He hit send and instead of putting the phone down, he held it in his hands until the little bubble signaling that Yunho was typing popped up. The next text came quickly after.
"Tired, lol. I had two surgeries today and they were both difficult. I'm still at the hospital. Are you here?" JaeJoong picked up his glass of wine and sipped as he typed back with one hand.
"Gosh, I'm sorry. And no, I'm not. I finished up early for once and went home at 6." The next response came back quickly.
"I'm sorry I missed you. We haven't seen each other the whole week." JaeJoong bit his lip as he contemplated what he was about to type next.
"I know. It was kind of lonely, but I didn't want to bother you."
"You're never a bother. Did you have a good week?"
"It was pretty awesome. There was little girl who got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year. Chemo therapy was really hard on her, but she came in today for her one year blood test and she's officially in remission. I think I cried as much as her mother."
"Remission news is some of the best. You're really sweet for getting so emotional." JaeJoong blushed at the compliment and then berated himself for behaving like a child with a crush.
"I'm not always that way or else this job would have killed me by now. Her mother was just so relieved. Apparently she had been paying out of pocket for the last 5 months because the insurance refused to pay more. Stories like that always get me." Some of his embarrassment was washed away when he refocused on the seriousness of the subject.
"I totally understand. My first year of residency was hell because I was always so angry by how expensive operations that people needed to save their lives and the lives of their loved ones. Ever since then I've been working with other hospital financing departments in the area to learn about more about their payment plans."
Passionate, smart, caring. Yunho was everything JaeJoong had wanted, and more, when looking for a partner. It was scary and exhilarating.
"How are you so awesome?" God! He was flirting. This wasn't a part of the plan. Wait, there was a plan?
"Am I? Pretty sure that's you." JaeJoong bit his lip.
"Nope. I'm pretty vanilla." JaeJoong hit send and immediately wished for an undo button. Vanilla, in the most adult terms, meant a boring lover who always liked the same things in bed. And over text, there was no way to interpret what he actually meant by that. He held his breath as he waited for his reply.
"You're not vanilla by any means. At least you didn't use to be." JaeJoong could imagine the softness of Yunho's eyes whenever he looked at him as if he could see right through him.
"What do you mean?" He typed back.
"You were very tactile. You loved being touched and taken care of. You were incredibly cuddly and affectionate." JaeJoong could hear his heartbeat in his ears.
"Was I that way with you?"Why was he asking this? What was this going to accomplish?! It was too late now.
"Yes." One word knocked the breath right out of JaeJoong. Shaking, he typed out his next text.
"And were you that way with me?" JaeJoong inhaled sharply as he waited for Yunho's response.
"I was." JaeJoong, speechless, stared at the screen. After a few moments of processing, he quickly typed back.
"I should get ready for bed. Be safe getting home." He knew he was being a coward, but the conversation had taken a drastic turn and he hand't been ready for it. The only choice he had was to flee for now.
"Goodnight, Jae." JaeJoong read the text before he put down his phone. He wasn't really going to bed. He was going to finish the whole bottle of wine so that he was too numb to mourn a past he couldn't remember.
--
A/N: Yunho's looking more like a lose sheet of paper in a wind storm than house made of bricks. He said he wasn't going to waver with JaeJoong back in the picture, but he didn't plan on things to be this hard, especially since JaeJoong doesn't have any memories of their relationship. What's a guy to do? And now Changmin has his eye on JaeJoong. I love making things complicated! Thanks for reading! I love reading your comments. I can't wait to see what you guys think!