Fic: New Perspective: Ryan
Title: New Perspective: Ryan
Author: jacqui_hw
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon
Word Count: 3,170
Warnings: Language, pure unadulterated fluff
Summary: Post-split. After the Blink tour, Spencer, Brendon, Ryan and Jon decide to take a trip together to reconnect.
AN: This fic has morphed from a one-shot to an four-part tale. Jon and Brendon's povs coming soon. I'm still making no apologies for the fluffiness of this fic.
"Where are they tonight?" Jon asked, as they sat celebrating, on the night they finished the album.
"Like you don't know," Ryan snorted. He finished his beer and lay down on the deck.
Jon lay down next to him and stared up at the stars. "You should call him."
"You should mind your own business."
---
The thing about being best friends with someone for sixteen years is, more often than not, you're thinking exactly the same thing at the same time. Words become superfluous.
One night, long ago, when girls were still strange alien creatures, and alcohol was still an unmentionable demon, Spencer and Ryan had been tucked up in Spencer's bed, whispering ghost stories to each other and Spencer had said, seemingly out nowhere, "You're my best friend."
That was the moment Ryan realised he was kind of an idiot. He'd reached out, and taken hold of Spencer's hand and said, "You're my best friend too." He'd taken a deep breath and closed his eyes and said, as assuredly as only a ten year old can, "We're going to be together forever."
Twelve years later they sat in a diner, hands clasped so tight Ryan thought they'd break each other's fingers, as Ryan finally said what they'd both been thinking.
"Don't think this means you're getting rid of me though."
Spencer had smiled. "Of course not. It's isn't forever yet."
---
Ryan's phone was buzzing on the coffee table, clinking against the glass.
"Eric!" Ryan shouted, unwilling to move from the deck to answer it. "Eric, can you bring me my phone?"
It hit him on the head a moment later.
"I could have a concussion now!" he yelled, reaching lazily over his head for it.
One missed call said the screen.
"Who was it?" Jon asked, when Ryan remained quiet and still.
"Brendon."
Jon rolled over to face Ryan properly. "He's not mad at you."
"I should call him," Ryan said flatly and ignored the way Jon rolled his eyes when he nodded. Ryan sighed and pushed himself to his feet. "I need a vacation."
He ignored Eric and Alex as he shuffled through the house to his bedroom and shut the door firmly behind him. It took another fifteen minutes before he could talk himself into calling Brendon back.
---
Ryan and Brendon had a simple relationship. Spencer didn't know what he was talking about.
They loved each other as friends and respected each other as musicians, but they were both passionate and maybe they fought more than was strictly necessary, but only in the pursuit of the best music they could make.
Two days after they'd posted the announcement, Ryan had woken to missed calls from Spencer, Pete, Kate, both of Spencer's sisters, and Spencer's mom. There was also a text message from Brendon that said LOL Just say no Ry, x. Ryan had checked the internet with all the trepidation of a man diffusing a bomb.
He called Ginger back first.
A month later, he was still trying to figure out what to say to Brendon.
---
"Hey!"
Brendon had answered far too fast for Ryan's comfort. "Hey."
"I didn't think you were going to call back," Brendon said. He sounded nervous. Ryan found that strangely comforting.
"I didn't know what to say. It took me two weeks to call Pete. And Pete's not..."
"Not what?"
"Not you? It's different with you." Ryan winced. That hadn't come out right. Luckily Brendon seemed to understand.
"How's the album going?"
Ryan smiled. "Good. Done. We finished today." He felt a little self-conscious talking like this with Brendon. Part of him was waiting for Brendon to start yelling. Part of him wanted Brendon to.
"When do we get to hear it?" Brendon asked instead, sounding strangely pleased. "We get to hear it first right?"
Ryan closed his eyes and nodded. The knot of worry in his chest had finally loosened. "Yeah. Of course you do."
---
It was always the same, Ryan thought, an hour into the flight to Honolulu. Things would be going great between them, Ryan would feel truly comfortable and happy, and then Brendon would make a joke and Ryan would end up wanting to hit him.
"Ryan, I'm sorry. It was a joke. You know how I am. It was funny. Come on, you have to admit it was funny."
Ryan didn't have to admit any such thing. Brendon was being an asshole. It didn't matter how cute he thought he was being clinging to Ryan's arm and snuggling up next to him. Ryan wasn't going to budge.
Spencer kicked the back of his seat.
"Okay fine, Jesus," Ryan snapped. "Just stop talking. Don't you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice?"
Brendon fell silent. Ryan gave a sigh of relief and picked up his book to continue reading.
"Not really," Brendon responded five minutes later, making Ryan jump slightly. "You miss me talking when I'm not around. Be honest. Now that I'm gone most of the time, don't you appreciate me that much more?"
Ryan felt his face slowly start to heat up, but was luckily saved from answering by Jon and Spencer, who burst out laughing.
"Jon Walker, you do miss me. Tell me you do," Brendon demanded, kneeling up on his seat. Ryan's eyes sparkled with amused affection as he watched Brendon. He slid his hand between the seat and the wall, reaching for Spencer's.
He was relieved when Spencer didn't hesitate in taking it.
---
Jon had begged to be allowed to choose the hotel. It had something to do with making the most of the time they had and being comfortable and things counting.... Ryan had mostly turned Jon out and let him do whatever he wanted.
The suite was incredible. Huge comfy sofas, a sunken bath big enough for two people and the view... Well Ryan maybe wanted to write a song about that.
"I'm sharing with Jon," Spencer announced, before Ryan had even managed to drag his bag into the room.
"Good," Brendon said, and Ryan found himself being pulled down the hall to one of the bedrooms.
Brendon claimed the bed nearest the window and pushed back the drapes. The beach lay in front of them and beyond that the sea. Green mountains of other islands rose up in the distance. Brendon sank down on the edge of his bed and stared. He started humming something.
"What's that?" Ryan asked, sitting down next to him slowly, careful not to touch.
Brendon nudged him playfully, shifting so their arms were pressed close together. "You should know. It's one of yours."
Something in Ryan's chest contracted almost painfully. Brendon continued quietly, oblivious. "I love that one."
---
That night was one of the best Ryan could remember having in a long time. It felt like forever since the four of them had all been able to sit and talk about things, without the band and music being something to come between them instead of bring them together. Spencer and Jon both seemed relaxed. Brendon seemed happy. Ryan wondered whether things might have worked out differently if they'd done this six months earlier.
Once the dishes were cleared away, Jon and Spencer claimed the TV and one of the sofas for themselves, leaving Ryan and Brendon alone on the terrace with the remainder of the wine.
"Do you think he knows?" Brendon asked, lying back as far as he could in the chair, to peer upside-down, at the dimly lit figures inside.
Ryan sipped his wine with a smile. "Which one are we talking about?"
They stared at each other for a moment before dissolving into laughter.
"You know," Brendon said, as soon as they'd both caught their breath, "when we met, I sort of thought..." He trailed off and laughed self-consciously, "I kind of had a thing for you for a while."
"You did?" Ryan asked. It felt as though his throat was closing up.
Brendon nodded, still staring up at the stars. "Feels like forever ago now."
There was so much Ryan wanted to say to that. He didn't know where to start.
Jon and Spencer yelled something at the TV and began to laugh. Brendon chuckled softly, finally looking over at Ryan.
"Thanks for bringing us here."
Ryan smiled. "Thanks for coming."
---
"Are you asleep?" Brendon whispered hours later, dragging Ryan's attention away from the ceiling and his scattered thoughts.
"No."
Ryan heard Brendon shift, fighting with the bed-covers and he rolled onto his side so they were facing each other in the darkness.
"Do you remember that awful fold-away thing I had?"
Ryan laughed. "I remember the sheets you had didn't fit."
Brendon grinned. "You complained non-stop."
"Hey," Ryan exclaimed, smiling when Brendon started to snicker into his pillow. "I was always happy to stay over."
"Sure," Brendon replied. "It was nice to escape."
Ryan knew Brendon was teasing, but both of them heard the underlying worry that an escape was exactly what it had been, and nothing more.
Ryan had never felt like a particularly brave person. He was driven, certainly, but not as ambitious and determined as people seemed to think. At seventeen fame and fortune and getting the hell out of that house and that town, had sounded like the best thing in the world. Now he wished they could have all just been friends for a while first.
This however, was definitely a time to be brave.
He slid quickly out of his bed and in two steps, climbed up into Brendon's. He slid his arm around Brendon's waist. He felt seventeen again.
"It was nice to spend time with you."
Ryan could feel Brendon watching him now, but in the darkness he couldn't be sure if it was hope or curiosity in his eyes. He wasn't feeling brave enough to find out.
"Goodnight Brendon."
---
"Ryan."
Brendon's voice was low and insistent. Ryan could feel his fingers digging into his arm.
"Ryan, Ryan, wake up."
"Wha?" Ryan burrowed down into the blankets, curling into the warmth of Brendon's body. "Hmm?"
"Dolphins!" Brendon exclaimed, excitedly. "We're going swimming with them."
Ryan yawned. "What time is it?"
"Five."
"In the morning?" Ryan asked, horrified.
"No, no, don't go back to sleep. We need to get up."
"Brendon, I'm sure the dolphins will still be there if we have another few hours of sleep."
"Ryan, please." Ryan could hear Brendon pouting. He hated that.
"Fine. Go take your shower. I'm next."
He waited until the bathroom door had closed on Brendon and pulled the covers up over his head. He had another thirty minutes at least.
---
They finished the last chorus of Saturday as they stepped inside the suite that night. Ryan looked back, expecting to see Jon and Spencer right behind them, but they were nowhere to be seen.
"They'll be fine," Brendon said as he swung the refrigerator door open and grabbed a beer. "They need to talk. Do you want one?"
Ryan shook his head to the beer and frowned a little when Brendon put his back. "You don't have to..."
Brendon shrugged. "I'm good. I thought, if we were staying up..."
"I'm kind of tired," Ryan confessed, stifling a yawn.
"You're getting old," Brendon said with a grin and started to laugh when Ryan jumped up and chased him down the corridor to their room.
They fell onto Brendon's bed, both laughing, Ryan's hands reaching to tickle any part of Brendon he could reach.
"Stop, stop! Oh my God, please, Ryan, you're not old..."
Ryan stopped and collapsed down next to Brendon on the bed. They smiled at each other, until they'd both caught their breath. Ryan felt the need to be brave again and leaned forward, ever so slowly, until his lips brushed Brendon's.
They kissed slowly, tentatively, both careful and searching. Ryan's thumb stroked gently across Brendon's cheek, keeping him close.
"I've wanted to do that for the longest time," Ryan confessed, letting his forehead rest against Brendon's.
"Why didn't you?"
Ryan hesitated. "I was worried it was going to mess up the band."
It was a long time before either of them could stop laughing long enough to move.
"Are you sleeping here?" Brendon asked when Ryan eventually sat up. He was biting his lip.
"Do you want me to?"
Brendon nodded and rolled up onto his knees. He placed his hands on Ryan's shoulders and leaned in close to kiss him again. It was soft and gentle and, to Ryan's mind, over far too quickly.
"We can sleep," Brendon whispered, pressing another kiss to Ryan's jaw. "Tomorrow we can work out the rest."
---
The next morning, Ryan woke up spooned against Brendon's back. He tightened his arms instinctively around Brendon and pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. Brendon murmured something indistinct and shifted back, pressing closer to Ryan.
"What did you say?"
Brendon murmured again and Ryan nipped lightly at his neck. "One more time?"
"I want to go surfing," Brendon said, stretching his arms above his head as he rolled over to face Ryan. He was grinning enough for ten people.
Ryan decided to take a very cold shower.
---
Ryan avoided being alone with Brendon as much as possible that day. He sat in the shade with a notebook, occasionally scribbling down random sentences to make it seem like he was working and not staring at Brendon as he surfed.
He knew he was being obvious during dinner. Spencer at least knew the truth, though Ryan caught him staring at Jon more than once. By ten o'clock Ryan was at breaking point. He yawned as casually and discreetly as possible. No one paid any attention. Thirty minutes later, Brendon was still only half way through what Ryan was sure was a truly hilarious story, and Ryan was growing impatient.
Spencer kicked Brendon.
"Ow! Spencer what the fuck?"
"Ryan's tired, so wish him goodnight so he can go to bed," Jon said, with a wink in Ryan's direction. Ryan wanted to hit him.
Brendon seemed bemused. "Um, goodnight?"
Ryan rolled his eyes, but let his hand fall to brush his fingers over Brendon's shoulder as he passed. "Goodnight," he murmured, as his thumb stroked quickly over Brendon's neck.
He dimmed the lights in their bedroom and lit the candles on the dresser. It was possibly overdoing things, but Brendon was a hopeless romantic and Ryan, well, he liked that. He considered sitting up and waiting for Brendon; imagined them undressing each other slowly, tumbling down onto the bed wrapped around one another. But waiting left things open to interpretation and Ryan wasn't sure he'd be able to get the words out if Brendon asked exactly what Ryan wanted. He undressed slowly and climbed into Brendon's bed to wait.
It was another twenty minutes before Brendon appeared.
"You're lucky I didn't fall asleep," Ryan said dryly, before Brendon had even closed the door.
"If you'd told me this was your plan for the evening, I would have left when you did," Brendon said with a leer. He pulled his shirt over his head.
"I was rather hoping I'd get to undress you myself."
"And waste another ten minutes?" Ryan snorted. "It took you long enough to get here." He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face, however as Brendon stumbled out of his jeans and pushed off his underwear.
"Candles?" Brendon was beaming. "Ryan Ross, I never knew you were a romantic."
"Oh my God. Shut u.."
Brendon cut him off with a kiss, sealing his lips over Ryan's. His hands cupped Ryan's face, tilting his head back, guiding him, until Ryan moaned, low and wanting. Ryan's hands found Brendon's hips and pulled him down onto the bed.
"Ryan," Brendon breathed harshly against his lips. "I want..."
"I know," Ryan murmured, catching Brendon's lower lip again, insistent tug of teeth, followed by the soothing sweep of his tongue. "I want it too."
---
"So," Spencer drawled once he and Ryan had settled down on two loungers on the beach. "Brendon."
"Don't," Ryan said, feeling a little embarrassed. He pushed his sunglasses firmly onto his face.
Spencer shrugged. "Dude. Like I care."
Ryan rolled to face Spencer and started to smile. "Well..."
"I'm the little duck!" Brendon shouted from half way down the beach. Ryan sat up so quickly he felt his head spin. "I'm the little duck."
Ryan felt his face getting hot and buried it in his hands. "Oh my God."
"Kudos," Spencer said, grinning brightly. "Big duck."
"Fuck you," Ryan groaned.
"Don't be embarrassed," Spencer told him, reaching for his hand. Ryan gripped it tightly. "We're good."
"You don't mind?"
"I think you should have done it forever ago," Spencer told him as he watched Jon walk towards them. "But then, you're both really stupid."
Jon sat down next to Spencer, but Ryan couldn't take his eyes off Brendon, who started slowly crawling up over his body, until he was straddling Ryan's hips.
"Big duck," he said solemnly. He looked incredibly pleased with himself.
Ryan glanced at Spencer and Jon. Jon was holding Spencer's feet in his lap, his thumb stroking Spencer's ankle. "We're not the only stupid ones," he whispered as he pressed his nose against Brendon's stomach. "Little duck."
---
That night Brendon and Ryan never even made it out of their room.
Somewhere, in the early hours of the morning, Ryan lay in the secure circle of Brendon's arms, replete and content.
"Do you regret it?" Brendon asked, as he laced their fingers together and pulled Ryan's hand back to kiss his wrist.
"Do you?" Ryan replied, wondering how long Brendon would let him get away with avoiding the subject.
Not long, it turned out.
"I asked first."
"Sometimes," Ryan sighed, honestly. "Sometimes I do, yes."
"Do you think we could go back?"
Ryan thought about the band, back at the start, when it was just him and Spencer and all that passion he'd felt. It hadn't diminished, but it had changed. He had changed.
"No," he answered and gripped Brendon's hand tight to stop him pulling away. "We can't go back." He tilted his head and kissed Brendon softly, assuredly. "We can go forward."
Brendon smiled and relaxed back into the pillows, pulling Ryan closer.
Everything was going to work out.
New Perspective: Spencer
New Perspective: Jon
New Perspective: Brendon
Author: jacqui_hw
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon
Word Count: 3,170
Warnings: Language, pure unadulterated fluff
Summary: Post-split. After the Blink tour, Spencer, Brendon, Ryan and Jon decide to take a trip together to reconnect.
AN: This fic has morphed from a one-shot to an four-part tale. Jon and Brendon's povs coming soon. I'm still making no apologies for the fluffiness of this fic.
"Where are they tonight?" Jon asked, as they sat celebrating, on the night they finished the album.
"Like you don't know," Ryan snorted. He finished his beer and lay down on the deck.
Jon lay down next to him and stared up at the stars. "You should call him."
"You should mind your own business."
---
The thing about being best friends with someone for sixteen years is, more often than not, you're thinking exactly the same thing at the same time. Words become superfluous.
One night, long ago, when girls were still strange alien creatures, and alcohol was still an unmentionable demon, Spencer and Ryan had been tucked up in Spencer's bed, whispering ghost stories to each other and Spencer had said, seemingly out nowhere, "You're my best friend."
That was the moment Ryan realised he was kind of an idiot. He'd reached out, and taken hold of Spencer's hand and said, "You're my best friend too." He'd taken a deep breath and closed his eyes and said, as assuredly as only a ten year old can, "We're going to be together forever."
Twelve years later they sat in a diner, hands clasped so tight Ryan thought they'd break each other's fingers, as Ryan finally said what they'd both been thinking.
"Don't think this means you're getting rid of me though."
Spencer had smiled. "Of course not. It's isn't forever yet."
---
Ryan's phone was buzzing on the coffee table, clinking against the glass.
"Eric!" Ryan shouted, unwilling to move from the deck to answer it. "Eric, can you bring me my phone?"
It hit him on the head a moment later.
"I could have a concussion now!" he yelled, reaching lazily over his head for it.
One missed call said the screen.
"Who was it?" Jon asked, when Ryan remained quiet and still.
"Brendon."
Jon rolled over to face Ryan properly. "He's not mad at you."
"I should call him," Ryan said flatly and ignored the way Jon rolled his eyes when he nodded. Ryan sighed and pushed himself to his feet. "I need a vacation."
He ignored Eric and Alex as he shuffled through the house to his bedroom and shut the door firmly behind him. It took another fifteen minutes before he could talk himself into calling Brendon back.
---
Ryan and Brendon had a simple relationship. Spencer didn't know what he was talking about.
They loved each other as friends and respected each other as musicians, but they were both passionate and maybe they fought more than was strictly necessary, but only in the pursuit of the best music they could make.
Two days after they'd posted the announcement, Ryan had woken to missed calls from Spencer, Pete, Kate, both of Spencer's sisters, and Spencer's mom. There was also a text message from Brendon that said LOL Just say no Ry, x. Ryan had checked the internet with all the trepidation of a man diffusing a bomb.
He called Ginger back first.
A month later, he was still trying to figure out what to say to Brendon.
---
"Hey!"
Brendon had answered far too fast for Ryan's comfort. "Hey."
"I didn't think you were going to call back," Brendon said. He sounded nervous. Ryan found that strangely comforting.
"I didn't know what to say. It took me two weeks to call Pete. And Pete's not..."
"Not what?"
"Not you? It's different with you." Ryan winced. That hadn't come out right. Luckily Brendon seemed to understand.
"How's the album going?"
Ryan smiled. "Good. Done. We finished today." He felt a little self-conscious talking like this with Brendon. Part of him was waiting for Brendon to start yelling. Part of him wanted Brendon to.
"When do we get to hear it?" Brendon asked instead, sounding strangely pleased. "We get to hear it first right?"
Ryan closed his eyes and nodded. The knot of worry in his chest had finally loosened. "Yeah. Of course you do."
---
It was always the same, Ryan thought, an hour into the flight to Honolulu. Things would be going great between them, Ryan would feel truly comfortable and happy, and then Brendon would make a joke and Ryan would end up wanting to hit him.
"Ryan, I'm sorry. It was a joke. You know how I am. It was funny. Come on, you have to admit it was funny."
Ryan didn't have to admit any such thing. Brendon was being an asshole. It didn't matter how cute he thought he was being clinging to Ryan's arm and snuggling up next to him. Ryan wasn't going to budge.
Spencer kicked the back of his seat.
"Okay fine, Jesus," Ryan snapped. "Just stop talking. Don't you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice?"
Brendon fell silent. Ryan gave a sigh of relief and picked up his book to continue reading.
"Not really," Brendon responded five minutes later, making Ryan jump slightly. "You miss me talking when I'm not around. Be honest. Now that I'm gone most of the time, don't you appreciate me that much more?"
Ryan felt his face slowly start to heat up, but was luckily saved from answering by Jon and Spencer, who burst out laughing.
"Jon Walker, you do miss me. Tell me you do," Brendon demanded, kneeling up on his seat. Ryan's eyes sparkled with amused affection as he watched Brendon. He slid his hand between the seat and the wall, reaching for Spencer's.
He was relieved when Spencer didn't hesitate in taking it.
---
Jon had begged to be allowed to choose the hotel. It had something to do with making the most of the time they had and being comfortable and things counting.... Ryan had mostly turned Jon out and let him do whatever he wanted.
The suite was incredible. Huge comfy sofas, a sunken bath big enough for two people and the view... Well Ryan maybe wanted to write a song about that.
"I'm sharing with Jon," Spencer announced, before Ryan had even managed to drag his bag into the room.
"Good," Brendon said, and Ryan found himself being pulled down the hall to one of the bedrooms.
Brendon claimed the bed nearest the window and pushed back the drapes. The beach lay in front of them and beyond that the sea. Green mountains of other islands rose up in the distance. Brendon sank down on the edge of his bed and stared. He started humming something.
"What's that?" Ryan asked, sitting down next to him slowly, careful not to touch.
Brendon nudged him playfully, shifting so their arms were pressed close together. "You should know. It's one of yours."
Something in Ryan's chest contracted almost painfully. Brendon continued quietly, oblivious. "I love that one."
---
That night was one of the best Ryan could remember having in a long time. It felt like forever since the four of them had all been able to sit and talk about things, without the band and music being something to come between them instead of bring them together. Spencer and Jon both seemed relaxed. Brendon seemed happy. Ryan wondered whether things might have worked out differently if they'd done this six months earlier.
Once the dishes were cleared away, Jon and Spencer claimed the TV and one of the sofas for themselves, leaving Ryan and Brendon alone on the terrace with the remainder of the wine.
"Do you think he knows?" Brendon asked, lying back as far as he could in the chair, to peer upside-down, at the dimly lit figures inside.
Ryan sipped his wine with a smile. "Which one are we talking about?"
They stared at each other for a moment before dissolving into laughter.
"You know," Brendon said, as soon as they'd both caught their breath, "when we met, I sort of thought..." He trailed off and laughed self-consciously, "I kind of had a thing for you for a while."
"You did?" Ryan asked. It felt as though his throat was closing up.
Brendon nodded, still staring up at the stars. "Feels like forever ago now."
There was so much Ryan wanted to say to that. He didn't know where to start.
Jon and Spencer yelled something at the TV and began to laugh. Brendon chuckled softly, finally looking over at Ryan.
"Thanks for bringing us here."
Ryan smiled. "Thanks for coming."
---
"Are you asleep?" Brendon whispered hours later, dragging Ryan's attention away from the ceiling and his scattered thoughts.
"No."
Ryan heard Brendon shift, fighting with the bed-covers and he rolled onto his side so they were facing each other in the darkness.
"Do you remember that awful fold-away thing I had?"
Ryan laughed. "I remember the sheets you had didn't fit."
Brendon grinned. "You complained non-stop."
"Hey," Ryan exclaimed, smiling when Brendon started to snicker into his pillow. "I was always happy to stay over."
"Sure," Brendon replied. "It was nice to escape."
Ryan knew Brendon was teasing, but both of them heard the underlying worry that an escape was exactly what it had been, and nothing more.
Ryan had never felt like a particularly brave person. He was driven, certainly, but not as ambitious and determined as people seemed to think. At seventeen fame and fortune and getting the hell out of that house and that town, had sounded like the best thing in the world. Now he wished they could have all just been friends for a while first.
This however, was definitely a time to be brave.
He slid quickly out of his bed and in two steps, climbed up into Brendon's. He slid his arm around Brendon's waist. He felt seventeen again.
"It was nice to spend time with you."
Ryan could feel Brendon watching him now, but in the darkness he couldn't be sure if it was hope or curiosity in his eyes. He wasn't feeling brave enough to find out.
"Goodnight Brendon."
---
"Ryan."
Brendon's voice was low and insistent. Ryan could feel his fingers digging into his arm.
"Ryan, Ryan, wake up."
"Wha?" Ryan burrowed down into the blankets, curling into the warmth of Brendon's body. "Hmm?"
"Dolphins!" Brendon exclaimed, excitedly. "We're going swimming with them."
Ryan yawned. "What time is it?"
"Five."
"In the morning?" Ryan asked, horrified.
"No, no, don't go back to sleep. We need to get up."
"Brendon, I'm sure the dolphins will still be there if we have another few hours of sleep."
"Ryan, please." Ryan could hear Brendon pouting. He hated that.
"Fine. Go take your shower. I'm next."
He waited until the bathroom door had closed on Brendon and pulled the covers up over his head. He had another thirty minutes at least.
---
They finished the last chorus of Saturday as they stepped inside the suite that night. Ryan looked back, expecting to see Jon and Spencer right behind them, but they were nowhere to be seen.
"They'll be fine," Brendon said as he swung the refrigerator door open and grabbed a beer. "They need to talk. Do you want one?"
Ryan shook his head to the beer and frowned a little when Brendon put his back. "You don't have to..."
Brendon shrugged. "I'm good. I thought, if we were staying up..."
"I'm kind of tired," Ryan confessed, stifling a yawn.
"You're getting old," Brendon said with a grin and started to laugh when Ryan jumped up and chased him down the corridor to their room.
They fell onto Brendon's bed, both laughing, Ryan's hands reaching to tickle any part of Brendon he could reach.
"Stop, stop! Oh my God, please, Ryan, you're not old..."
Ryan stopped and collapsed down next to Brendon on the bed. They smiled at each other, until they'd both caught their breath. Ryan felt the need to be brave again and leaned forward, ever so slowly, until his lips brushed Brendon's.
They kissed slowly, tentatively, both careful and searching. Ryan's thumb stroked gently across Brendon's cheek, keeping him close.
"I've wanted to do that for the longest time," Ryan confessed, letting his forehead rest against Brendon's.
"Why didn't you?"
Ryan hesitated. "I was worried it was going to mess up the band."
It was a long time before either of them could stop laughing long enough to move.
"Are you sleeping here?" Brendon asked when Ryan eventually sat up. He was biting his lip.
"Do you want me to?"
Brendon nodded and rolled up onto his knees. He placed his hands on Ryan's shoulders and leaned in close to kiss him again. It was soft and gentle and, to Ryan's mind, over far too quickly.
"We can sleep," Brendon whispered, pressing another kiss to Ryan's jaw. "Tomorrow we can work out the rest."
---
The next morning, Ryan woke up spooned against Brendon's back. He tightened his arms instinctively around Brendon and pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. Brendon murmured something indistinct and shifted back, pressing closer to Ryan.
"What did you say?"
Brendon murmured again and Ryan nipped lightly at his neck. "One more time?"
"I want to go surfing," Brendon said, stretching his arms above his head as he rolled over to face Ryan. He was grinning enough for ten people.
Ryan decided to take a very cold shower.
---
Ryan avoided being alone with Brendon as much as possible that day. He sat in the shade with a notebook, occasionally scribbling down random sentences to make it seem like he was working and not staring at Brendon as he surfed.
He knew he was being obvious during dinner. Spencer at least knew the truth, though Ryan caught him staring at Jon more than once. By ten o'clock Ryan was at breaking point. He yawned as casually and discreetly as possible. No one paid any attention. Thirty minutes later, Brendon was still only half way through what Ryan was sure was a truly hilarious story, and Ryan was growing impatient.
Spencer kicked Brendon.
"Ow! Spencer what the fuck?"
"Ryan's tired, so wish him goodnight so he can go to bed," Jon said, with a wink in Ryan's direction. Ryan wanted to hit him.
Brendon seemed bemused. "Um, goodnight?"
Ryan rolled his eyes, but let his hand fall to brush his fingers over Brendon's shoulder as he passed. "Goodnight," he murmured, as his thumb stroked quickly over Brendon's neck.
He dimmed the lights in their bedroom and lit the candles on the dresser. It was possibly overdoing things, but Brendon was a hopeless romantic and Ryan, well, he liked that. He considered sitting up and waiting for Brendon; imagined them undressing each other slowly, tumbling down onto the bed wrapped around one another. But waiting left things open to interpretation and Ryan wasn't sure he'd be able to get the words out if Brendon asked exactly what Ryan wanted. He undressed slowly and climbed into Brendon's bed to wait.
It was another twenty minutes before Brendon appeared.
"You're lucky I didn't fall asleep," Ryan said dryly, before Brendon had even closed the door.
"If you'd told me this was your plan for the evening, I would have left when you did," Brendon said with a leer. He pulled his shirt over his head.
"I was rather hoping I'd get to undress you myself."
"And waste another ten minutes?" Ryan snorted. "It took you long enough to get here." He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face, however as Brendon stumbled out of his jeans and pushed off his underwear.
"Candles?" Brendon was beaming. "Ryan Ross, I never knew you were a romantic."
"Oh my God. Shut u.."
Brendon cut him off with a kiss, sealing his lips over Ryan's. His hands cupped Ryan's face, tilting his head back, guiding him, until Ryan moaned, low and wanting. Ryan's hands found Brendon's hips and pulled him down onto the bed.
"Ryan," Brendon breathed harshly against his lips. "I want..."
"I know," Ryan murmured, catching Brendon's lower lip again, insistent tug of teeth, followed by the soothing sweep of his tongue. "I want it too."
---
"So," Spencer drawled once he and Ryan had settled down on two loungers on the beach. "Brendon."
"Don't," Ryan said, feeling a little embarrassed. He pushed his sunglasses firmly onto his face.
Spencer shrugged. "Dude. Like I care."
Ryan rolled to face Spencer and started to smile. "Well..."
"I'm the little duck!" Brendon shouted from half way down the beach. Ryan sat up so quickly he felt his head spin. "I'm the little duck."
Ryan felt his face getting hot and buried it in his hands. "Oh my God."
"Kudos," Spencer said, grinning brightly. "Big duck."
"Fuck you," Ryan groaned.
"Don't be embarrassed," Spencer told him, reaching for his hand. Ryan gripped it tightly. "We're good."
"You don't mind?"
"I think you should have done it forever ago," Spencer told him as he watched Jon walk towards them. "But then, you're both really stupid."
Jon sat down next to Spencer, but Ryan couldn't take his eyes off Brendon, who started slowly crawling up over his body, until he was straddling Ryan's hips.
"Big duck," he said solemnly. He looked incredibly pleased with himself.
Ryan glanced at Spencer and Jon. Jon was holding Spencer's feet in his lap, his thumb stroking Spencer's ankle. "We're not the only stupid ones," he whispered as he pressed his nose against Brendon's stomach. "Little duck."
---
That night Brendon and Ryan never even made it out of their room.
Somewhere, in the early hours of the morning, Ryan lay in the secure circle of Brendon's arms, replete and content.
"Do you regret it?" Brendon asked, as he laced their fingers together and pulled Ryan's hand back to kiss his wrist.
"Do you?" Ryan replied, wondering how long Brendon would let him get away with avoiding the subject.
Not long, it turned out.
"I asked first."
"Sometimes," Ryan sighed, honestly. "Sometimes I do, yes."
"Do you think we could go back?"
Ryan thought about the band, back at the start, when it was just him and Spencer and all that passion he'd felt. It hadn't diminished, but it had changed. He had changed.
"No," he answered and gripped Brendon's hand tight to stop him pulling away. "We can't go back." He tilted his head and kissed Brendon softly, assuredly. "We can go forward."
Brendon smiled and relaxed back into the pillows, pulling Ryan closer.
Everything was going to work out.
New Perspective: Spencer
New Perspective: Jon
New Perspective: Brendon