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[ixgideonxi]

S-sorry.

[Some shuffling, a pause, then a deep breath.]

Sorry I kind of fell off the face of the earth, people. And-- and that I haven't been around much. To be honest, I haven't really been sleeping well at all, so I've kind of been under the weather for awhile now.

Sure I'll be fine soon.

Comments

[brittlenerves]

[Oh, thank the gods. Xanth was worried. Not that he isn't now, but this is better than Gideon disappearing from the boat.

He wants to ask if Gideon's alright, but the answer to that question is in his post. He spends a few minutes wondering exactly what to say before he just... spits something out.]

I-I, uh, do you-- w-want me to bring you s-something? A--Anything?

[brittlenerves]

Well-- s-see, I... I don't know. Sh-she said th-that she... felt like sh-she giving up so-someone else, s-so I j-just don't kn-know.

[But he's not hopeful.]

I-I mean-- I g-get that, I guess, but...

[ixgideonxi]

Mmm... someone from back home, maybe?

[Gideon pauses and mulls this over.]

Well, when Fatin disappeared... I had the same mindset. Almost didn't give Kate a chance. But I came around, so who knows.

I'm deeply sorry, though. Does she at least still want to be friends?

[brittlenerves]

I-- I d-don't know? I-I mean, I... I h-haven't... really t-talked to her s-since. I mean I-- I didn't r-really tell her b-but I-- I know she kn-knows, and I... left... p-pretty fast.

[In fewer words, he ran. Like he always does.]

[ixgideonxi]

Xanth.

[Gideon puts a hand on his friend's shoulder and looks him in the eye.]

Do you want to still be friends with her?

[brittlenerves]

[Xanth sits straight up, meeting Gideon's gaze.]

Of-- of c-course I do! How-- I-I mean, w-why wouldn't I?

[ixgideonxi]

Then let her know. Don't hold this against her. Let her know that you're going to be there for her even--even when it hurts you. It's a good step, I think.

Rejection is hard as hell, but if you let yourself get crippled by it... it's not fair to yourself.

[brittlenerves]

[Xanth looks down, taking in Gideon's words. He's right. Xanth had been too tangled in his own emotions to think about it this way, but... Gideon's right.

And Kairi looked so sad when he walked away from her that day.]

And it... i-it's not fair t-to her either, i-is it.

[ixgideonxi]

No, not really. Because you're just such an awesome guy, Xanth, it wouldn't be fair to deprive her of your presence.

[Gideon smiles softly.]

If it's still hard to be around her, though, you can give yourself some time. That's fair.

[brittlenerves]

[WOAH woah woah, not what he meant to say. You have him blushing, and quite brightly, Gideon!]

W-Well uh, I-I don't-- I-- don't know a-about that...

[In fact, he misses the complete latter half of your tangent!]

[ixgideonxi]

I do. And you trust me, right?

But yeah, like I said, definitely do it only when you feel up to it. No need rushing things... you don't want to talk to her when you feel like it might be awkward. That's no fun.

[brittlenerves]

Y-Yeah...

[Xanth rests his hands on his legs and stares down.]

But-- how do I make it l-less awkward? Or... n-not awkward for as l-long? Because I'm-- I-I don't know, I-I'm like... K-King A--Awkward.

[ixgideonxi]

Well... first you have to come to terms with everything yourself. As much as I would like to, I can't really give you a simple three-step plan that will fix all your problems. I can guide you through this to the best of my ability, but ultimately it's all up to you.

You might start by having a bit more faith in yourself.

[brittlenerves]

[It's hard to have faith in yourself when no one else has.

But things are different here. People think he can do things. And, thinking about it? Maybe Gideon's right.]

I-- m-- hmm... w-well... I've m-made it th--this long o-on this crazy ship. I-I've-- I've gotten p-past dying a--and the whole... thing th-that came at the same t-time. Maybe I c-can get past this, t--too?