I fucked up. It may be too late. I came home and tries to make everything better but he's closing his heart to me. Why am I so fucked up that I would let something like this happen? thats all I can write for now.
You need to quit over-thinking things. seriously. look at the facts here. you don't want anyone else so there is no reason to be single. he gives you space when you want it, and love when you need it. he's a great father, and bends over backwards for you.. but also knows when to stand up for himself. You need to quit being so lame and selfish for once in your life. It feels good to make others happy also ya know. You two are basically married, i don't see why the fuck that freaks you out. You are lucky to have such a great guy want to marry your crazy ass! cheer up, if you guys are meant to be then you'll be. but a relationship takes two people, don't make him your doormat.
He needs and deserves more than I can give him. I sometimes feel he can do better and that im holding him back. I think deep down (outside of my fears and fucked up psychosis) I was giving him an out. Were working it out. I need therapy I apparently have intimacy/commitment issues. I cant even explain it cause it makes no sense to anyone but possibly my sister. She's the same way.
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You need to quit being so lame and selfish for once in your life. It feels good to make others happy also ya know. You two are basically married, i don't see why the fuck that freaks you out. You are lucky to have such a great guy want to marry your crazy ass!
cheer up, if you guys are meant to be then you'll be. but a relationship takes two people, don't make him your doormat.
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