SPN: One Thing Left To Ask [Castiel-centric]
Title: “One Thing Left To Ask”
Author: Shaitanah
Rating: G
Timeline: post-Episode 5x21, “Two Minutes to Midnight”
Summary: Castiel’s transition from angel to human is not easy. [comment_fic fill for the prompt "sucking on stardust like rockcandy" by elfinmouse]
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW.
ONE THING LEFT TO ASK
There are many things about being an angel Dean doesn’t understand, and those are the things Castiel wants to share with him.
Dean says: “Have another drink,” like that would fix every problem. And Dean says: “Suck it up.” And Dean thinks angels are douchebags. Castiel grew up, letting others make up his mind for him, and he had never been an individual, but always part of a whole, but it’s Dean’s tendency to generalize that he can’t understand.
His thoughts never really belonged to him until he met Dean, that much is true. But even then no one would have taken away his ability to feel. And he still remembers what it felt like to explore the world. To take off on his first flight. Watching a blade of grass grow. Swimming in a single drop of rain. Sucking on stardust like rock candy. The peculiar taste of solitary freedom he wishes he could turn over to Dean.
But he doesn’t. Dean has to have his convictions. Angels are douchebags. Booze bridges any gap. Freedom is when you choose for yourself.
Castiel chose this. And yet, there are times when despite Bobby’s well-meant advice to “quit pining for the varsity years” he cannot stop wallowing in self-pity, cannot abstract away from the memory of stars, brittle and cold, burning at his wings, and the secure familiarity of Heaven. These are the times when he feels anything but free.
November 4, 2011
Author: Shaitanah
Rating: G
Timeline: post-Episode 5x21, “Two Minutes to Midnight”
Summary: Castiel’s transition from angel to human is not easy. [comment_fic fill for the prompt "sucking on stardust like rockcandy" by elfinmouse]
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW.
ONE THING LEFT TO ASK
There are many things about being an angel Dean doesn’t understand, and those are the things Castiel wants to share with him.
Dean says: “Have another drink,” like that would fix every problem. And Dean says: “Suck it up.” And Dean thinks angels are douchebags. Castiel grew up, letting others make up his mind for him, and he had never been an individual, but always part of a whole, but it’s Dean’s tendency to generalize that he can’t understand.
His thoughts never really belonged to him until he met Dean, that much is true. But even then no one would have taken away his ability to feel. And he still remembers what it felt like to explore the world. To take off on his first flight. Watching a blade of grass grow. Swimming in a single drop of rain. Sucking on stardust like rock candy. The peculiar taste of solitary freedom he wishes he could turn over to Dean.
But he doesn’t. Dean has to have his convictions. Angels are douchebags. Booze bridges any gap. Freedom is when you choose for yourself.
Castiel chose this. And yet, there are times when despite Bobby’s well-meant advice to “quit pining for the varsity years” he cannot stop wallowing in self-pity, cannot abstract away from the memory of stars, brittle and cold, burning at his wings, and the secure familiarity of Heaven. These are the times when he feels anything but free.
November 4, 2011