It's not that you didn't like me, Sasuke-kun. You just didn't know me.
Title: “Say That You Believe”
Author: Shaitanah
Rating: PG-13
Summary: No matter what, Sakura will always wait for him. The time for tears is over. [Sasuke/Sakura] Please R&R!
Disclaimer: ‘Naruto’ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi.
A/N: I hate this pairing, and I’m not really fond of Sakura. It’s been a while since I’ve written het. But… this is not a Sakura-bashing fic and not an anti-SasuSaku fic. So fans of this pairing might even like it.
SAY THAT YOU BELIEVE
I'm hopelessly hopeful, that you're just hopeless enough,
But we never had it at all…
Fall Out Boy. ‘I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)’
Sometimes Sakura screamed in her sleep. She would then wake up with tears half-formed in her eyes, clutching the pillow in her sweaty hands, and simply breathe in and out until her heart settled down.
It was unbearable.
She’d promised herself not to cry and never to regret. She remained true to her word till nightfall when all her demons would attack at once, and she was defenseless before their might.
Sasuke came to her once in a dream. He eyed her with the same cold contempt, making her feel small and worthless. Under his gaze she remained immobile, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“You think you can help me?” Sasuke asked point-blank after a brief pause. “Think better of yourself. You’re nothing to me.”
Sakura was petrified by his expressionless face. He was looking at her as if she were an empty spot. She remembered their last encounter by the main gate. She’d screamed, she’d wept, she’d begged him not to leave - not to leave her, because life without him would have made no sense. She’d promised, she’d prayed, she’d hoped he’d have changed his mind.
‘You are annoying,’ he’d said. And now she knew he’d had every right to say so.
Sakura squared her shoulders and gave him a hard, determined look. She’d never shed a tear in front of him again. Sasuke-kun was a hard man, and she’d have to be a tough girl not to succumb to him.
Shizune woke her in the morning, and Sakura set to her daily training with a mixed feeling of relief and sorrow.
‘I’m sorry, Sasuke-kun!’ she thought. ‘I wasn’t strong enough to stop you. I couldn’t save you even if you thought you didn’t need saving. I won’t fail anymore.’
* * *
The next time he came she was mentally prepared for his cold cynicism. Sasuke regarded her attentively, a touch of a cruel smirk upon his lips, and said:
“You’re so weak. Even compared to Naruto.”
Sakura’s lips trembled. She had to bite them to contain a whimper. She was not weak. Certainly not that weak! He mentioned Naruto, and it brought warm feelings to her heart. The days when she, Naruto and Sasuke were Team Seven. The days when she was truly, inexplicably happy. In spite of all.
The night when she had last seen him he’d said something else. ‘Sakura… Thank you.’
Her lips moved as she pleaded with him to stay. The sound of her voice, weak, barely audible, only made him snort in disdain. He held out his open palm; his skin rippled like a pool of milk, and fragile petals opened. The flower grew bigger until a beautiful cherry blossom was revealed.
Sasuke shook it off. It fell to the ground, swaying. The youth crushed it with his foot mercilessly.
* * *
Her dreams became less frequent as she shut her memories out and devoted herself solely to Tsunade’s lessons. Naruto was gone; she didn’t see Kakashi-sensei anymore either. And she trained harder than she’d ever trained before in hopes of getting her happy days back. As her practice progressed, she felt she was happy again.
After a while, she saw him again. He was lying by the flowerbed in a beautiful garden. It was raining. Sakura danced in the rain until he called out to her. His voice sounded unnaturally weak, exhausted.
“Sakura… Have you forgotten me?”
She sat wordlessly by his side, brushed the wet locks of his fringe off his forehead.
“Sasuke-kun…”
She couldn’t take her eyes off his slightly parted lips; she leaned into him and kissed him, trembling as he pulled her closer, his hands barely touching her back.
‘It’s not that you didn’t like me, Sasuke-kun,’ Sakura thought as her heart fluttered because of his touch. ‘You just didn’t know me.’
-------------
She brought a bag of candy to the Academy and entertained everyone. By the end of the day she still had a considerable amount of sweets left and decided to seek out Sasuke-kun. She saw him briefly during the classes; his eyes were glazed and swollen, and he stared blankly at the blackboard behind the sensei’s back. She wondered what could be wrong with him.
She spotted him on the way to the gangway plank by the river and hurried after him, but someone caught her by the wrist, and Sakura was held up.
“Poor Sasuke-kun,” Ino whispered in her ear, sounding deeply shaken. Sakura knitted her eyebrows. “It’s just so horrible! And the worst part is that everybody knows and talks about it!”
Sakura flushed. The reason behind Sasuke’s strange behaviour was about to be revealed, and of course she’d be the last person to find out.
“What is it?” she squeaked.
Ino just stared at her for a moment. “You don’t know!?” She pulled Sakura aside from the road and whispered: “The whole Uchiha clan has been slaughtered! He’s the only survivor!”
Sakura gasped and nearly dropped the bag. She ran towards the gangway plank as fast as she could. The boy was sitting by the water, motionless as a statue. In spite of her tremour Sakura took a seat beside him and held out the bag.
Minutes wore on. Sasuke turned his head slowly and looked at the sweets, and then up at Sakura. She smiled hopefully. The boy picked one candy and said in a small voice:
“Thanks.”
Sakura’s smile widened. But he didn’t unwrap the candy. He merely squeezed it in his fist and continued looking at the water. Sakura got up. She felt so sad all of a sudden. She wished she could ease his suffering, but she could not imagine what he must have felt.
“Sasuke-kun…” she murmured shyly. A thousand words were ready to spring from her lips, but she only blurted out, “I hope you like it!” and hurried home.
-----------
His lips glided along the delicate curve of her jaw. She opened his shirt and lavished his chest in shy kisses. Shivers ran down her spine. She licked the raindrops off his skin. It tasted like honey; intoxicated, she smiled happily. He cupped her face between his hands and forced his lips upon hers, holding her prisoner in his persistent embrace. Sakura gasped into his mouth. Her lips came down his neck to the cursed seal that shone like a black inkspot against the flawless alabaster of his skin. He was just too perfect, and she recollected with dismay that he was just a product of her guilty conscience.
“I refuse to let you go,” she whispered against his shoulder. “I’ll do everything I can, but I won’t let this darkness consume you.”
He brushed his fingers over her hip; teasing, playing, they flitted towards her inner thigh, causing her to moan sharply. His lips silenced her delicately.
The overpowering affection she felt for him engulfed her with renewed force. The feeling sank down to flood the emptiness at the bottom of her stomach and exploded in a firework of tingling sensations. Sakura shivered on top of him. Sasuke’s dark eyes never left her face.
For a split second she felt exultant. She revelled in her joy, full of love and desire to keep him safe in her arms.
And then he was gone as though a morning breeze chased him away like smoke. Sakura lay alone in her bed, her eyes painfully dry. The first pale rays of sun crept cautiously inside the room.
She shifted and looked at the photograph on her nightstand. Team Seven. Kakashi-sensei with his eyes squeezed shut, probably grinning behind his mask. Sakura standing in the centre, smiling gleefully. Naruto to her right, snarling at Sasuke-kun who’s standing to her left, moody as always, yet there is something in his eyes… Something she never wanted him to lose.
And Sakura smiled.
July 23 - August 9, 2007