Fic: Puzzling Evidence (Part VI), NC-17, Lorne/Zelenka by inkscribe
Title: Puzzling Evidence (Part VI)
Author: inkscribe
Pairings: Lorne/Zelenka
Kink: mild D/s, bondage, spanking
Warnings: None! We’ve finally got a break in the angst-o-meter. Well, it’s still a bit angsty, but waaaayyyyy less than the previous couple of parts.
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~3700 (this part)
Spoilers: none
Locations: atlantiskink, welovezelenka, my LJ
Feedback: yes, please!
Summary: What we see is not always what it seems.
Chapter Summary: Questions.
New to this WIP? Check out the Puzzling Evidence chapter index! Please remember to read the header block of each chapter for related spoiler alerts, warnings, and notes.
Author's Notes: IASNAD - I Am Still Not A Doctor! Not even Doctor Who. Damn. Non-beta’d, so any errors are most definitely mine.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is not mine; please don’t sue, we’ll both regret it in the morning.
Marc felt better. Fewer parts of him ached and while he knew he had an open wound into his gut full of packing that frankly grossed him out even to think about, he trusted Doctor Beckett when the man assured him that he was coming along fine and that they’d be able to close him for good soon. Marc had never given much thought to his appendix before, and probably would never do so again, but this particular day, his appendix was definitely on his mind.
Marc had come out of anesthesia groggy and babbling. He was fairly certain he’d asked about Radek about a million times, but he really only remembered the last four or five. The nurse always assured him that Radek was fine but asleep. Under the influence of the anesthetic, Marc had even once become unreasonably worried by the nurse’s choice of words.
Asleep? he remembered asking. You put Radek to sleep? He had panicked for a few moments until the nurse managed to get through to his medication-clouded thoughts that no, Radek had not been put down like a dying dog but was resting, asleep and possibly having dreams, in another room; definitely alive and breathing and definitely alive. Beckett had come in then to check on him and confirmed the same story, had even assured Marc that he would personally see to it that Marc could see Radek as soon as Radek was awake again.
Marc believed them, then, that Radek was sleeping. A little later, a few hours post-op, his head had cleared completely and then he’d overheard enough quiet conversations among the medical personnel to know that Radek had been given several doses of sedatives and had no choice but to sleep. At first, he felt himself being to panic at the thought of Radek needing medication to keep him down, but within short order he realised that the sedatives were considered a temporary measure and that the people on-duty expected Radek to wake again quite soon, hopefully for good this time.
Which worried Marc all over again. What had they done to Radek that he needed sedation more than once? What was happening in-between his periods of medication-induced slumber?
Doctor Beckett came by and finally helped Marc put his worries to rest. Marc had seen the man working before, both in Atlantis and in the field, but had never been the subject of his quiet authority. He appreciated it now, someone who had the silent strength of an oak tree, but the flexibility of a willow in the wind when it came to adapting to emergencies. Beckett had come silently to Marc’s bedside, only making noise when he realised Marc was awake and alert, watching.
“How’s my patient?” Beckett asked.
“Alive,” Marc had said, his voice flat. He wasn’t angry with Doctor Beckett, but really, how did the doctor expect him to feel? He had an open wound into his abdomen. The nurses had explained the reason for it succinctly and clearly but it still grossed him out to think of it, never mind glance to where the packing and bandages covered the spot. Marc was to expect ongoing antibiotic therapy to be pumped into his veins over the next few days. He’d survived a beating from two of his colleagues that only made the tiniest bit of sense in light of his subsequent interrogation, and he still hadn’t seen his lover since he’d been forcibly torn away from him just the night before. His body ached, not excessively thanks to the painkillers he was also receiving on a regular basis, but worse yet his mind, his heart, felt broken. Until he could see Radek again, hell, touch Radek again, he wouldn’t be better-than-alive, he’d simply be existing, taking one breath after another, not dead but not really alive, either.
Doctor Beckett had simply stood there, watching him while Marc worked through his thoughts. Then Beckett sighed. “I know. It’s hard to appreciate anything when there is so much wrong, isn’t it?”
Marc could only nod in agreement.
“May I sit?” Beckett asked, indicating a chair to the side.
Marc nodded, “Sure, doc.”
“I’ve been a very busy man the last few hours,” Beckett began. “And I’ve had to piece together a lot of things without benefit of hearing anything directly from either you or Radek.”
Marc stared at him, stunned. “You mean Radek has been here since -” he stumbled, realising he had no idea how long either of them had been in the infirmary at that point, the hours he’d lost in the cell had no clocks, no windows, no change in light or atmosphere. Sheppard had seen to it that he’d quickly lost the ability to have any accurate sense of time passing. He slumped, defeated, and tried again. “You mean Radek hasn’t spoken to anyone here yet?”
Beckett pursed his lips tightly and shook his head. “No, he hasn’t. He arrived shocky and just, well, he just shut down. Catatonic. He was like that for hours.”
“But I overheard the nurses,” Marc protested. “They talked about sedatives. You wouldn’t give sedatives to a person who was catatonic, would you?”
“No, we wouldn’t, you’re right,” he said. “And I’ll be having a wee chat with my staff about where they discuss patients’ treatments. You shouldn’t be hearing about anything other than your own condition.” Beckett ran a tired hand across his eyes and continued. “Well, normally, that is. I suppose I’ll be stretching that rule a wee bit myself right now.”
“Sedatives?” Marc prompted, feeling impatient.
“Radek came out of the catatonic state and into what I would describe as a full-blown panic attack. I ordered sedation to keep him safe and calm.”
“What was he panicking about?”
“It seemed to me that he was panicking about Rodney,” Beckett began, pausing for a moment when Marc hissed in anger at the man’s name. “When Rodney was trying to check in on him. He was calling your name, Marc. Rodney heard and came to him, told him everything was OK, and Radek panicked.”
Marc regarded the doctor levelly. “I have the feeling that’s not the whole story, doc.”
Beckett sighed. “No, it isn’t. No doubt you’ve pieced together for yourself that Colonel Sheppard and Rodney had made some - assumptions - about your relationship with Radek.”
“Yeah, you could say that,” Marc replied.
“I can’t excuse their actions,” Beckett said. “And I won’t. But you should know that for every minute that Radek remained catatonic, Rodney sat with him. He held Radek’s hand, he talked to him. He was more worried than I’ve ever seen him, and I’ve known Rodney long enough to see the man worried many, many times.”
“You understand how a few days ago, I could maybe appreciate that worry, doc? But right now, it’s not very comforting,” Marc confessed.
“No, I rather think it wouldn’t be,” Beckett replied. “I’m not telling you this for your sake. I’m telling you this for Radek’s sake. Rodney sat with his friend the whole night, begging for him to get better, to come out of it. When Radek did come out of it, I believe Rodney misunderstood - again - and said something stupid.”
“Let me guess,” Marc said, his words measured and careful. “He promised Radek that I was permanently out of the picture?”
Beckett nodded, his face grim. “Something like that. I didn’t hear it with my own ears but that’s how it was reported to me.”
Marc looked Beckett in the eyes. “It’s not like that between us, you know,” he whispered. “I’d never hurt Radek. Rodney - McKay - and Sheppard, too, they couldn’t be more wrong.”
“You understand that after all that’s happened, there will have to be an inquest? I will be expected to testify as to my findings and provide my expert opinion.”
“Yeah,” Marc said. “I’m not surprised. So, have you formed your expert opinion yet?”
“At this point my opinion leans heavily toward you and Radek having engaged in a consensual relationship that others might interpret as - odd.”
Marc snorted. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“Can you explain to me, please?” Beckett asked. “I think I know how most of this fits together, but I’d like to hear it from you, not rely on my guesses.”
Marc sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He loved Radek deeply, enjoyed their play together. But he was a deeply private person, and Radek no less so. As much as he found Doctor Beckett pleasant, Marc really didn’t know him that well, and the added burden of their discussion becoming part of an inquest didn’t help.
As though Beckett could read his thoughts, he said, “I know it’s hard, especially when some or all of this may end up part of a bureaucrat’s records somewhere. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that, but I believe the more we can explain clearly now, the less difficult it will be later.”
Marc nodded and swallowed, took a deep breath, and started.
“Radek and I - we’ve been seeing each other for several months. We took pains to keep our public relationship strictly collegial, strictly professional, you understand,” he said.
“You being in the American military and all,” Beckett agreed.
“Exactly. I’m not ashamed of who I am, but my employers have their own ideas and I like what I do for a living. If I ever leave the military, I’d like to do so on my own terms, not because of some impossible regulations,” Marc said, then gave a mirthless laugh. “It’s not like the military lacks for impossible regulations, after all.”
Marc was surprised to find he was gratified when Beckett chuckled wryly to the lame joke.
“And Radek?” asked Beckett. “I knew he was homosexual because he chose to disclose that information for his medical records, but I take it that Rodney did not?”
Marc shook his head. “I don’t think so. Radek and I - we’re both private people. Even if I weren’t subject to military regs, I’m not certain I’d be exactly public about my orientation. Hard to say, really. I’m pretty private - I think even if I were straight, people in my unit might not be aware whether I had a girlfriend or wife back home.”
“Oh?” Beckett said.
“I don’t mean anything bad by that, doc,” Marc groaned. “I’m not a girl-or-guy-in-every-port type of soldier. I just mean that I don’t especially like hearing the nitty gritty of other people’s sex lives, whether it involves boyfriends, girlfriends, or since joining the SGC, aliens of unclassifiable gender.”
“I take your meaning, son,” Beckett said. “So, you’re private and Radek’s private. How did you two get together, then?”
Marc felt his cheeks heat slightly as he blushed. “It’s sort of silly,” he confessed. “But remember awhile back, when we had some sort of power fluctuation problem or something - I don’t remember exactly what it was. It didn’t involve the Wraith or guns, so that pretty much kept me out of the loop. But the science people - they were crazy. I think most of them worked at least four days straight until they had whatever it was dealt with.”
“We’ve had a few of those types of crises. I’m not sure which one by your description,” Beckett said.
“I honestly don’t remember - Radek will, I’m sure. It doesn’t matter all that much to me. What matters is that I was poking around the lab areas and found McKay and Radek - only I called him Doctor Zelenka in those days - still awake and working, long after they’d dismissed everyone else from the labs to get caught up on their sleep.”
Beckett chuckled. “That sounds like our Rodney. And Radek,” he amended.
“Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” Marc said, smiling at the memory. “So I poked my head in and saw that they were still working, even though they both looked about ready to drop where they stood. Just for kicks I came right in and stood against the wall for awhile, watching them.”
Beckett raised his eyebrows at that.
“What can I say?” Marc chuckled. “Sometimes I’ve got a wicked streak in me. I was wondering, in the state they were in, how long it would take one of them to notice me.”
“And how long did it take?” asked Beckett.
“A good five minutes, I think. Maybe even 10. Anyway,” he continued. “Zelenka finally realises there is an extra person in the lab and comes to check up on me. I happen to mention that I expected to see them resting like everyone else on their team and cracked a joke about maybe needing to tie them up so they would have to rest.”
Marc paused for a moment, his cheeks blushing deep red before he forced himself to continue.
“And Radek, Radek - do you know what he did?” Marc whispered as the memory came on again, strong and hot. “He closed his eyes, bit his lip and shuddered. Right in front of me. I thought he might be having an orgasm just from the idea of what I’d said. When I saw him do that, I very nearly had an orgasm myself.”
Marc heard Beckett release a long breath. “Aye,” Beckett said, his voice slightly strangled. “I can well imagine.”
“I still don’t know if Radek remembers doing that or not, but I know that I’ll never forget. I decided to test things out a bit and actually ordered them to rest, then backed it up with a threat to tie them up if I discovered they didn’t. Then I left.”
“You left?” Beckett asked, surprised.
“Well, not really. I walked down the corridor and waited to see if anything would happen. Radek caught up to me inside of a minute.”
Marc smiled, warm and flushed at the memory, and then realised that he was not the only one flushed: Beckett was distinctly red around the ears. Beckett coughed slightly. “I see,” he said.
“Yes,” Marc chuckled. “Well, long story short, I took him back to his quarters, tied him up, and had my way with him. We’ve been a well-kept-secret-item since.”
“I’d say so,” Beckett agreed.
“Like I said, we’re both private people, doc, and -” Marc said.
“And there’s that whole military-angle, yes,” Beckett agreed. “So the tying up - the bondage - that’s been consensual since you got together?”
Marc nodded. “Absolutely.”
“When I was called to Radek’s quarters -” Beckett began.
“What? You were at his quarters?” Marc interrupted. Marc hadn’t really thought about how Radek had come into the infirmary. He felt panic rise again. “Doc? Could you tell me a bit more about how things got started on your end?” Marc’s voice trailed off to a broken whisper. “The last thing I really remember that night was when I heard Radek scream.”
Beckett winced. “Aye,” he said. “Well, Rodney radioed me immediately for a medical emergency, and I came down with a small team. Radek was already slipping away, not responding to Rodney, not responding to me.”
Marc struggled to breathe as hot tears stung his eyes. “He was terrified,” Marc said.
“Yes.”
“He - he doesn’t talk about it, but I know Radek’s been traumatised by something in his past,” Marc whispered. “I was scared out of my wits when they first grabbed me. At least as a soldier I’ve had to face the occasional physical struggle. I didn’t feel entirely powerless until later. Radek, though -”
Beckett’s face was grim. “Radek was bound and helpless and suddenly not under your protection.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Marc croaked. “There was nothing I could do. McKay and Sheppard, they were holding me and hitting me and -”
“Rodney hit you?”
Marc nodded. “They both did.”
“Good lord,” Beckett whispered.
Marc chuckled without mirth. “Yeah,” he said. “You think you know somebody.” And then they turn psychotic on you and try to beat the crap out of you in the dark before threatening to leave you for dead on an anonymous planet.
Beckett coughed to clear his throat. “I’m sorry, son,” he said, his voice gentle. “But I’ve got a few more questions I need answered.”
Marc blinked back the tears threatening to spill out. He had to get himself under control, if not for himself, then for Radek. Radek was already broken, maybe not much, maybe just a little, long before Marc had ever met him. But the events of the past few days might break him completely, and Marc was certain he’d need every bit of strength he could muster to be there for him.
“Go ahead,” Marc choked out.
“There were bruises,” Beckett began.
“Yes,” Marc said, brisk, professional. He could do this. He could be strong and get through this, get ready to be there for Radek.
“Consensual?” Beckett asked.
“Of course!” Marc shouted, his resolve of a moment ago breaking almost as quickly as he’d made it. He struggled a moment to regain a semblance of calm. “Sorry, doc. Yes, it was consensual. Radek enjoys a bit of roughness.”
“Can you define what you would both consider acceptable for this roughness?” Beckett asked.
Marc sighed. Beckett was going to think they were absolute freaks. He must have looked stricken because he suddenly felt Beckett patting his forearm reassuringly. “Major Lorne,” he said. “What you say to me may, as we’ve discussed, have to become part of an inquest. I can’t deny that. But as far as I’m concerned, what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own relationship is their own business. You won’t shock me - I’ve been a doctor long enough to know there is far more to a healthy sex life for many people than plain vanilla.”
Marc stared, gapmouthed.
“Do you think you’re the only person, the only couple, on Atlantis, that has a kink or two?” Beckett asked.
Marc continued to stare. In fact, that had been exactly what he thought. He’d never even considered otherwise. He was perfectly comfortable with how he made love with Radek, how they explored each other and played with restraints and spanking and the occasional period of sensory deprivation, but he had never once thought anyone other than them might consider their relationship to be normal.
Beckett continued. “I can’t and won’t give details, son. It’s not my place. But if the two of you enjoy spanking or strapping or whatever, I can assure you that there are some here who engage in far more extreme play than you and Radek seem to.”
Marc sat a few moments, thinking this through. He didn’t really know a lot about what people devoted to kink might experiment with, and from Beckett’s last statement, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He’d really taken his lead from Radek, for all his calm assurance from the beginning, Marc had really never experienced any significant amount of non-vanilla sexual encounters. It would be quite fair to say that when he’d made the joke about tying the two scientists up he’d really never thought about trying that with a lover, it was just a joke to try to tease or cajole the two men into knocking off work and getting some much-needed rest.
“Radek likes to be spanked,” Marc said. “We’ve also got a strap and a flogger that I made for him at his request. And we use them sometimes, again, at his request.”
“And the bruising?” Beckett prompted.
“Usually there wouldn’t be any bruising,” Marc admitted. “But with the week so hectic, with Radek trying to save McKay’s life and all - “ he trailed off again, his emotions roiling anew when he thought of Rodney and what the man had done to them, done to Radek. “He asked me to spank him with my hands. He wanted to feel my touch. We hadn’t had much time together this week, and he wanted to be touched. He also said he wanted it hard this time, he wanted it to last, to leave a few marks. I did - I gave it to him hard.”
Marc fell silent again, the memory of that moment overwhelming him again, the joy at seeing Radek under him, opening himself to the pleasure Marc gave him, then the blind fear and panic of being grabbed without warning and all that came after.
“Doc,” he whispered. “I’m afraid for Radek. He was so terrified sometimes, when we were alone. Not of me, never terrified of me, but he was terrified of something. I don’t know what it was - I’m pretty certain it was something from when he was younger, maybe even when he was a kid. But I’m pretty certain that this attack,” he spat the word. “It’s going to make things worse for him. I need to be there for him, you understand? I need him to know that I’ll be there. I don’t know how I’m going to do that right now, confined to this bed like this. But I am absolutely certain he’ll need me, need someone.”
Beckett nodded. “I agree, son. And I agree that he’ll need you, not someone else.”
“So what can we do?” Marc asked.
“Well, I’ll have to have this same talk with Radek first you understand, but I have no problem setting the two of you up together for the next few days,” Beckett said.
Marc’s heart leapt with hope. “He can stay here with me while I’m here?”
Beckett nodded. “I would have recommended it regardless,” he said. “I agree with your assessment of his state - I’ve no doubt he’s suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress. I want him here where I can keep an eye on him.” Beckett’s eyes twinkled and he added, “And where you can keep your eyes on him too, I shouldn’t wonder.”
Marc felt himself smiling, genuinely, for the first time since coming out of anesthesia.
End Part VI
Author: inkscribe
Pairings: Lorne/Zelenka
Kink: mild D/s, bondage, spanking
Warnings: None! We’ve finally got a break in the angst-o-meter. Well, it’s still a bit angsty, but waaaayyyyy less than the previous couple of parts.
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~3700 (this part)
Spoilers: none
Locations: atlantiskink, welovezelenka, my LJ
Feedback: yes, please!
Summary: What we see is not always what it seems.
Chapter Summary: Questions.
New to this WIP? Check out the Puzzling Evidence chapter index! Please remember to read the header block of each chapter for related spoiler alerts, warnings, and notes.
Author's Notes: IASNAD - I Am Still Not A Doctor! Not even Doctor Who. Damn. Non-beta’d, so any errors are most definitely mine.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is not mine; please don’t sue, we’ll both regret it in the morning.
Marc felt better. Fewer parts of him ached and while he knew he had an open wound into his gut full of packing that frankly grossed him out even to think about, he trusted Doctor Beckett when the man assured him that he was coming along fine and that they’d be able to close him for good soon. Marc had never given much thought to his appendix before, and probably would never do so again, but this particular day, his appendix was definitely on his mind.
Marc had come out of anesthesia groggy and babbling. He was fairly certain he’d asked about Radek about a million times, but he really only remembered the last four or five. The nurse always assured him that Radek was fine but asleep. Under the influence of the anesthetic, Marc had even once become unreasonably worried by the nurse’s choice of words.
Asleep? he remembered asking. You put Radek to sleep? He had panicked for a few moments until the nurse managed to get through to his medication-clouded thoughts that no, Radek had not been put down like a dying dog but was resting, asleep and possibly having dreams, in another room; definitely alive and breathing and definitely alive. Beckett had come in then to check on him and confirmed the same story, had even assured Marc that he would personally see to it that Marc could see Radek as soon as Radek was awake again.
Marc believed them, then, that Radek was sleeping. A little later, a few hours post-op, his head had cleared completely and then he’d overheard enough quiet conversations among the medical personnel to know that Radek had been given several doses of sedatives and had no choice but to sleep. At first, he felt himself being to panic at the thought of Radek needing medication to keep him down, but within short order he realised that the sedatives were considered a temporary measure and that the people on-duty expected Radek to wake again quite soon, hopefully for good this time.
Which worried Marc all over again. What had they done to Radek that he needed sedation more than once? What was happening in-between his periods of medication-induced slumber?
Doctor Beckett came by and finally helped Marc put his worries to rest. Marc had seen the man working before, both in Atlantis and in the field, but had never been the subject of his quiet authority. He appreciated it now, someone who had the silent strength of an oak tree, but the flexibility of a willow in the wind when it came to adapting to emergencies. Beckett had come silently to Marc’s bedside, only making noise when he realised Marc was awake and alert, watching.
“How’s my patient?” Beckett asked.
“Alive,” Marc had said, his voice flat. He wasn’t angry with Doctor Beckett, but really, how did the doctor expect him to feel? He had an open wound into his abdomen. The nurses had explained the reason for it succinctly and clearly but it still grossed him out to think of it, never mind glance to where the packing and bandages covered the spot. Marc was to expect ongoing antibiotic therapy to be pumped into his veins over the next few days. He’d survived a beating from two of his colleagues that only made the tiniest bit of sense in light of his subsequent interrogation, and he still hadn’t seen his lover since he’d been forcibly torn away from him just the night before. His body ached, not excessively thanks to the painkillers he was also receiving on a regular basis, but worse yet his mind, his heart, felt broken. Until he could see Radek again, hell, touch Radek again, he wouldn’t be better-than-alive, he’d simply be existing, taking one breath after another, not dead but not really alive, either.
Doctor Beckett had simply stood there, watching him while Marc worked through his thoughts. Then Beckett sighed. “I know. It’s hard to appreciate anything when there is so much wrong, isn’t it?”
Marc could only nod in agreement.
“May I sit?” Beckett asked, indicating a chair to the side.
Marc nodded, “Sure, doc.”
“I’ve been a very busy man the last few hours,” Beckett began. “And I’ve had to piece together a lot of things without benefit of hearing anything directly from either you or Radek.”
Marc stared at him, stunned. “You mean Radek has been here since -” he stumbled, realising he had no idea how long either of them had been in the infirmary at that point, the hours he’d lost in the cell had no clocks, no windows, no change in light or atmosphere. Sheppard had seen to it that he’d quickly lost the ability to have any accurate sense of time passing. He slumped, defeated, and tried again. “You mean Radek hasn’t spoken to anyone here yet?”
Beckett pursed his lips tightly and shook his head. “No, he hasn’t. He arrived shocky and just, well, he just shut down. Catatonic. He was like that for hours.”
“But I overheard the nurses,” Marc protested. “They talked about sedatives. You wouldn’t give sedatives to a person who was catatonic, would you?”
“No, we wouldn’t, you’re right,” he said. “And I’ll be having a wee chat with my staff about where they discuss patients’ treatments. You shouldn’t be hearing about anything other than your own condition.” Beckett ran a tired hand across his eyes and continued. “Well, normally, that is. I suppose I’ll be stretching that rule a wee bit myself right now.”
“Sedatives?” Marc prompted, feeling impatient.
“Radek came out of the catatonic state and into what I would describe as a full-blown panic attack. I ordered sedation to keep him safe and calm.”
“What was he panicking about?”
“It seemed to me that he was panicking about Rodney,” Beckett began, pausing for a moment when Marc hissed in anger at the man’s name. “When Rodney was trying to check in on him. He was calling your name, Marc. Rodney heard and came to him, told him everything was OK, and Radek panicked.”
Marc regarded the doctor levelly. “I have the feeling that’s not the whole story, doc.”
Beckett sighed. “No, it isn’t. No doubt you’ve pieced together for yourself that Colonel Sheppard and Rodney had made some - assumptions - about your relationship with Radek.”
“Yeah, you could say that,” Marc replied.
“I can’t excuse their actions,” Beckett said. “And I won’t. But you should know that for every minute that Radek remained catatonic, Rodney sat with him. He held Radek’s hand, he talked to him. He was more worried than I’ve ever seen him, and I’ve known Rodney long enough to see the man worried many, many times.”
“You understand how a few days ago, I could maybe appreciate that worry, doc? But right now, it’s not very comforting,” Marc confessed.
“No, I rather think it wouldn’t be,” Beckett replied. “I’m not telling you this for your sake. I’m telling you this for Radek’s sake. Rodney sat with his friend the whole night, begging for him to get better, to come out of it. When Radek did come out of it, I believe Rodney misunderstood - again - and said something stupid.”
“Let me guess,” Marc said, his words measured and careful. “He promised Radek that I was permanently out of the picture?”
Beckett nodded, his face grim. “Something like that. I didn’t hear it with my own ears but that’s how it was reported to me.”
Marc looked Beckett in the eyes. “It’s not like that between us, you know,” he whispered. “I’d never hurt Radek. Rodney - McKay - and Sheppard, too, they couldn’t be more wrong.”
“You understand that after all that’s happened, there will have to be an inquest? I will be expected to testify as to my findings and provide my expert opinion.”
“Yeah,” Marc said. “I’m not surprised. So, have you formed your expert opinion yet?”
“At this point my opinion leans heavily toward you and Radek having engaged in a consensual relationship that others might interpret as - odd.”
Marc snorted. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“Can you explain to me, please?” Beckett asked. “I think I know how most of this fits together, but I’d like to hear it from you, not rely on my guesses.”
Marc sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He loved Radek deeply, enjoyed their play together. But he was a deeply private person, and Radek no less so. As much as he found Doctor Beckett pleasant, Marc really didn’t know him that well, and the added burden of their discussion becoming part of an inquest didn’t help.
As though Beckett could read his thoughts, he said, “I know it’s hard, especially when some or all of this may end up part of a bureaucrat’s records somewhere. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that, but I believe the more we can explain clearly now, the less difficult it will be later.”
Marc nodded and swallowed, took a deep breath, and started.
“Radek and I - we’ve been seeing each other for several months. We took pains to keep our public relationship strictly collegial, strictly professional, you understand,” he said.
“You being in the American military and all,” Beckett agreed.
“Exactly. I’m not ashamed of who I am, but my employers have their own ideas and I like what I do for a living. If I ever leave the military, I’d like to do so on my own terms, not because of some impossible regulations,” Marc said, then gave a mirthless laugh. “It’s not like the military lacks for impossible regulations, after all.”
Marc was surprised to find he was gratified when Beckett chuckled wryly to the lame joke.
“And Radek?” asked Beckett. “I knew he was homosexual because he chose to disclose that information for his medical records, but I take it that Rodney did not?”
Marc shook his head. “I don’t think so. Radek and I - we’re both private people. Even if I weren’t subject to military regs, I’m not certain I’d be exactly public about my orientation. Hard to say, really. I’m pretty private - I think even if I were straight, people in my unit might not be aware whether I had a girlfriend or wife back home.”
“Oh?” Beckett said.
“I don’t mean anything bad by that, doc,” Marc groaned. “I’m not a girl-or-guy-in-every-port type of soldier. I just mean that I don’t especially like hearing the nitty gritty of other people’s sex lives, whether it involves boyfriends, girlfriends, or since joining the SGC, aliens of unclassifiable gender.”
“I take your meaning, son,” Beckett said. “So, you’re private and Radek’s private. How did you two get together, then?”
Marc felt his cheeks heat slightly as he blushed. “It’s sort of silly,” he confessed. “But remember awhile back, when we had some sort of power fluctuation problem or something - I don’t remember exactly what it was. It didn’t involve the Wraith or guns, so that pretty much kept me out of the loop. But the science people - they were crazy. I think most of them worked at least four days straight until they had whatever it was dealt with.”
“We’ve had a few of those types of crises. I’m not sure which one by your description,” Beckett said.
“I honestly don’t remember - Radek will, I’m sure. It doesn’t matter all that much to me. What matters is that I was poking around the lab areas and found McKay and Radek - only I called him Doctor Zelenka in those days - still awake and working, long after they’d dismissed everyone else from the labs to get caught up on their sleep.”
Beckett chuckled. “That sounds like our Rodney. And Radek,” he amended.
“Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” Marc said, smiling at the memory. “So I poked my head in and saw that they were still working, even though they both looked about ready to drop where they stood. Just for kicks I came right in and stood against the wall for awhile, watching them.”
Beckett raised his eyebrows at that.
“What can I say?” Marc chuckled. “Sometimes I’ve got a wicked streak in me. I was wondering, in the state they were in, how long it would take one of them to notice me.”
“And how long did it take?” asked Beckett.
“A good five minutes, I think. Maybe even 10. Anyway,” he continued. “Zelenka finally realises there is an extra person in the lab and comes to check up on me. I happen to mention that I expected to see them resting like everyone else on their team and cracked a joke about maybe needing to tie them up so they would have to rest.”
Marc paused for a moment, his cheeks blushing deep red before he forced himself to continue.
“And Radek, Radek - do you know what he did?” Marc whispered as the memory came on again, strong and hot. “He closed his eyes, bit his lip and shuddered. Right in front of me. I thought he might be having an orgasm just from the idea of what I’d said. When I saw him do that, I very nearly had an orgasm myself.”
Marc heard Beckett release a long breath. “Aye,” Beckett said, his voice slightly strangled. “I can well imagine.”
“I still don’t know if Radek remembers doing that or not, but I know that I’ll never forget. I decided to test things out a bit and actually ordered them to rest, then backed it up with a threat to tie them up if I discovered they didn’t. Then I left.”
“You left?” Beckett asked, surprised.
“Well, not really. I walked down the corridor and waited to see if anything would happen. Radek caught up to me inside of a minute.”
Marc smiled, warm and flushed at the memory, and then realised that he was not the only one flushed: Beckett was distinctly red around the ears. Beckett coughed slightly. “I see,” he said.
“Yes,” Marc chuckled. “Well, long story short, I took him back to his quarters, tied him up, and had my way with him. We’ve been a well-kept-secret-item since.”
“I’d say so,” Beckett agreed.
“Like I said, we’re both private people, doc, and -” Marc said.
“And there’s that whole military-angle, yes,” Beckett agreed. “So the tying up - the bondage - that’s been consensual since you got together?”
Marc nodded. “Absolutely.”
“When I was called to Radek’s quarters -” Beckett began.
“What? You were at his quarters?” Marc interrupted. Marc hadn’t really thought about how Radek had come into the infirmary. He felt panic rise again. “Doc? Could you tell me a bit more about how things got started on your end?” Marc’s voice trailed off to a broken whisper. “The last thing I really remember that night was when I heard Radek scream.”
Beckett winced. “Aye,” he said. “Well, Rodney radioed me immediately for a medical emergency, and I came down with a small team. Radek was already slipping away, not responding to Rodney, not responding to me.”
Marc struggled to breathe as hot tears stung his eyes. “He was terrified,” Marc said.
“Yes.”
“He - he doesn’t talk about it, but I know Radek’s been traumatised by something in his past,” Marc whispered. “I was scared out of my wits when they first grabbed me. At least as a soldier I’ve had to face the occasional physical struggle. I didn’t feel entirely powerless until later. Radek, though -”
Beckett’s face was grim. “Radek was bound and helpless and suddenly not under your protection.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Marc croaked. “There was nothing I could do. McKay and Sheppard, they were holding me and hitting me and -”
“Rodney hit you?”
Marc nodded. “They both did.”
“Good lord,” Beckett whispered.
Marc chuckled without mirth. “Yeah,” he said. “You think you know somebody.” And then they turn psychotic on you and try to beat the crap out of you in the dark before threatening to leave you for dead on an anonymous planet.
Beckett coughed to clear his throat. “I’m sorry, son,” he said, his voice gentle. “But I’ve got a few more questions I need answered.”
Marc blinked back the tears threatening to spill out. He had to get himself under control, if not for himself, then for Radek. Radek was already broken, maybe not much, maybe just a little, long before Marc had ever met him. But the events of the past few days might break him completely, and Marc was certain he’d need every bit of strength he could muster to be there for him.
“Go ahead,” Marc choked out.
“There were bruises,” Beckett began.
“Yes,” Marc said, brisk, professional. He could do this. He could be strong and get through this, get ready to be there for Radek.
“Consensual?” Beckett asked.
“Of course!” Marc shouted, his resolve of a moment ago breaking almost as quickly as he’d made it. He struggled a moment to regain a semblance of calm. “Sorry, doc. Yes, it was consensual. Radek enjoys a bit of roughness.”
“Can you define what you would both consider acceptable for this roughness?” Beckett asked.
Marc sighed. Beckett was going to think they were absolute freaks. He must have looked stricken because he suddenly felt Beckett patting his forearm reassuringly. “Major Lorne,” he said. “What you say to me may, as we’ve discussed, have to become part of an inquest. I can’t deny that. But as far as I’m concerned, what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own relationship is their own business. You won’t shock me - I’ve been a doctor long enough to know there is far more to a healthy sex life for many people than plain vanilla.”
Marc stared, gapmouthed.
“Do you think you’re the only person, the only couple, on Atlantis, that has a kink or two?” Beckett asked.
Marc continued to stare. In fact, that had been exactly what he thought. He’d never even considered otherwise. He was perfectly comfortable with how he made love with Radek, how they explored each other and played with restraints and spanking and the occasional period of sensory deprivation, but he had never once thought anyone other than them might consider their relationship to be normal.
Beckett continued. “I can’t and won’t give details, son. It’s not my place. But if the two of you enjoy spanking or strapping or whatever, I can assure you that there are some here who engage in far more extreme play than you and Radek seem to.”
Marc sat a few moments, thinking this through. He didn’t really know a lot about what people devoted to kink might experiment with, and from Beckett’s last statement, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He’d really taken his lead from Radek, for all his calm assurance from the beginning, Marc had really never experienced any significant amount of non-vanilla sexual encounters. It would be quite fair to say that when he’d made the joke about tying the two scientists up he’d really never thought about trying that with a lover, it was just a joke to try to tease or cajole the two men into knocking off work and getting some much-needed rest.
“Radek likes to be spanked,” Marc said. “We’ve also got a strap and a flogger that I made for him at his request. And we use them sometimes, again, at his request.”
“And the bruising?” Beckett prompted.
“Usually there wouldn’t be any bruising,” Marc admitted. “But with the week so hectic, with Radek trying to save McKay’s life and all - “ he trailed off again, his emotions roiling anew when he thought of Rodney and what the man had done to them, done to Radek. “He asked me to spank him with my hands. He wanted to feel my touch. We hadn’t had much time together this week, and he wanted to be touched. He also said he wanted it hard this time, he wanted it to last, to leave a few marks. I did - I gave it to him hard.”
Marc fell silent again, the memory of that moment overwhelming him again, the joy at seeing Radek under him, opening himself to the pleasure Marc gave him, then the blind fear and panic of being grabbed without warning and all that came after.
“Doc,” he whispered. “I’m afraid for Radek. He was so terrified sometimes, when we were alone. Not of me, never terrified of me, but he was terrified of something. I don’t know what it was - I’m pretty certain it was something from when he was younger, maybe even when he was a kid. But I’m pretty certain that this attack,” he spat the word. “It’s going to make things worse for him. I need to be there for him, you understand? I need him to know that I’ll be there. I don’t know how I’m going to do that right now, confined to this bed like this. But I am absolutely certain he’ll need me, need someone.”
Beckett nodded. “I agree, son. And I agree that he’ll need you, not someone else.”
“So what can we do?” Marc asked.
“Well, I’ll have to have this same talk with Radek first you understand, but I have no problem setting the two of you up together for the next few days,” Beckett said.
Marc’s heart leapt with hope. “He can stay here with me while I’m here?”
Beckett nodded. “I would have recommended it regardless,” he said. “I agree with your assessment of his state - I’ve no doubt he’s suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress. I want him here where I can keep an eye on him.” Beckett’s eyes twinkled and he added, “And where you can keep your eyes on him too, I shouldn’t wonder.”
Marc felt himself smiling, genuinely, for the first time since coming out of anesthesia.
End Part VI