Penner Legacy 6:1
LAST TIME: The triplets tried to find mates, but were largely unsuccessful. It didn't really matter, though, since Georgia won the heir poll! She was knocked up by her betrothed, Marley, and we left off with her water breaking all over the garden.
Before we get started, a little announcement. Due to hood bugginess amongst other reasons, I will be starting a new legacy after I've played this generation to adulthood. Each of the sixth generation Penners will be carried over to the new hood as townies, so the Penners will live on (and, who knows, maybe end up marrying into the new legacy). I appreciate each and every one of you who have been following the Penners and I hope you'll enjoy the new legacy, too!
It's a girl, Cassia! She's an absent-minded loner.
Now that there was a baby, I figured it was time for Georgia and Marley to get married. I don't think Claude was too happy about it, though.
Claude: I should've been heir! Curse you, peasants!
Thanks for dressing up for the occasion, Marley.
In the boys' section:
Everyone: BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
In the girls' section:
Everyone: Ho hum.
In the Aunt Michael section:
Aunt Michael: Is this a smile? Am I doing it right?
Troy knows just how to make her daughter's big day as awkward uncomfortable special as possible.
Hot Readhead: Hey, how's about I give you a hand job under the buffet table?
Vincent: I miss my wrench.
Oh, the things you learn about a man after you marry him. Looks like Marley's got himself a mistress on the side.
Joyce Johnston died in the middle of the wedding party. Joyce Johnston is Marley's mother. Oh dear.
The derpface can only mean one thing... it's Marley's birthday!
And he immediately launches into a midlife crisis. Guess I was wrong about only women having them.
Seriously? Wait until your bride's changed out of her wedding dress, at least.
Back at home, Cassia was dying.
Maybe because her baby-sitter was too busy bitching about her crying to bother feeding her, changing her, or paying any sort of attention to her whatsoever.
Georgia: Mommy had such a great time at her wedding party! And how's my precious little girl?
Cassia: Food... please... food...
Marley, I don't care how many puppy dog eyes you give me, you are not flirting with someone else.
We has elders! Troy's still cute...
But I can't say the same for Jacques. Why do all my elder guys look so damned creepy?
Georgia: See! You're great at cleaning up the dishes!
Marley: Shut up.
To thank him, Georgia gave him shower sex.
And then peed in front of him.
Marley: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING I SHOULDN'T BE SEEING THIS
Georgia: There's nothing wrong with our natural bodily functions, Marley. You need to understand that the human body is a beautiful engine and appreciate all that it can do!
He left so fast that he forgot to get dressed.
He spent the next several hours scrutinizing his face for wrinkles.
After forcing Marley to put some clothes on, I asked Whitney Pointer over so he could break up with her.
But before he could, she got all upset and accused him of cheating on her.
Whitney: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME, YOU TWO-TIMING DOG!
Marley: I'm married! If anything, I'm cheating on my wife with you!
Like derpface, floorbaby can only mean one thing...
BIRTHDAY! Also: YAY GINGER!
Also also: I love her.
After a makeover, she is tres cute.
The Georgia Penner method to potty training: hold the child down on the potty until she has no choice but to pee.
The aforementioned shower sex resulted in this. Georgia and Marley have had sex twice, and have gotten pregnant twice. I'm impressed!
Georgia, however, is not. Perhaps she's remembering Marley's reaction the last time she told him she was pregnant.
Two cars in the garage and Troy takes a taxi. Right.
Marley: *BREEEEEEEEEEATHE* You smell goooooooood...
Cassia: Someone help me.
Maid: So then I told him that I'd just gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn't ready to date yet. But he was persistent and kept calling and calling so then I unfriended him on Facebook hoping that he'd get the hint...
Jacques: *desperately looking for a way out of this awkward conversation*
Jacques: OH LOOK! PICTURES OF MY GRANDDAUGHTER!
Cassia had a fantastic toddlerhood, let me tell you. Since Georgia already had her guitar skill far beyond what she needed for her next promotion, she had nothing to do during her maternity leave but tend to Cassia. A nice change from the chaos of the last generation.
Fuck you, EAxis.
Marley: So... are you pregnant, or not?
Georgia: I don't know. I was hoping you'd be able to tell me.
Georgia: OKAY YEAH I AM PREGNANT.
Troy: Ooh, you're having a baby. Congratulations. Call me when it's something I haven't already done five times.
It's a boy! Corbin, good and easily impressed.
Cassia grows up just in time for her brother to use her crib.
First thing she does as a child? Break shit. Naturally.
But it's okay, because I freaking love her.
She rolled eccentric, and immediately had approximately fifty-two wants pertaining to painting. Something tells me she's going to be an artist.
Georgia and Marley get to work on another baby right away. However, said baby never materialized. Their success rate went from two for two to something like two for twenty-six.
You know, Marley, I don't really believe you, seeing as you rolled this want to divorce your wife while you were on top of her.
Oh my god I love her.
Little Miss Loner takes her breakfast into the empty study instead of eating at the table with her parents. I'd call her emo, but you just can't be emo while you're wearing a dinosaur costume.
Cassia got onto the schoolbus that morning. I know because I took this picture.
So imagine my surprise when, halfway through the day, I noticed that she was skipping.
I found her at school, but on the playground instead of in class. I don't know if she was being insolent or if she just forgot to go inside when the schoolbus dropped her off.
Jacques: HOW DARE YOU SKIP SCHOOL YOUNG LADY!
Cassia: ...I want my dolly.
Jacques: Honey, do you have to dance with that chisel in your hand?
Troy: Yes. My chisel is an extension of myself.
Now I know where Vincent gets it from.
Damn. Troy's pretty flexible.
HERPY DERPDAY, CORBIN!
He's a cutie.
And also kind of an asshole.
Georgia wanted to read the kids to sleep almost every night. She's a pretty awesome mom!
See? Awesome mom.
Troy: These are hard times, Cassia. The recession is eating people alive. Don't be afraid to get down on your knees and beg for a raise if you need to. You might even have to do some other things on your knees...
Cassia: I'd rather sleep on a park bench, Grandma.
Troy: Sigh. You're going to end up just like your hippie mother.
This was the first time I'd seen this interaction. I was highly amused.
Just pointing out that Jackson's dating an octogenarian.
Georgia: And then the princess realized that she didn't need a prince to save her-she was a strong woman, capable of rising above the patriarchal society that had oppressed her!
Corbin: Here, have a booger.
My first question is, who the hell's toothbrush are you using?
My second question is, I don't pay you to brush your teeth! I pay you to clean shit, like that filthy tub three feet to your left! (Okay, that wasn't a question. But my point is valid.)
I sent Georgia over to fire her. She was VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
Georgia: YOU'RE FIRED! THIS IS MY MEAN FACE! GRRRRRRRR!
Yep, it's official: Cassia is my favorite Sim of this legacy.
Cassia: Hell yeah I am, bitches.
What the hell is that, Jacques? Bloody flesh pie?
Corbin: Daddy! Daddy look! I'm growing up!
Marley: Boooooooring. See you later, kid.
He supposedly had a difficult upbringing, yet was assigned brave as his third trait. Makes sense.
Townie: Is that your grandpa passed out on the ground?
Cassia: Uhhhhh... no, definitely not. I've never seen that guy in my life.
She hightailed it out of there so she wouldn't have to suffer the humiliation of having such a wuss for a grandfather.
Oh, the troubles of the afterlife.
NEXT TIME:
I don't know, stuff.
Before we get started, a little announcement. Due to hood bugginess amongst other reasons, I will be starting a new legacy after I've played this generation to adulthood. Each of the sixth generation Penners will be carried over to the new hood as townies, so the Penners will live on (and, who knows, maybe end up marrying into the new legacy). I appreciate each and every one of you who have been following the Penners and I hope you'll enjoy the new legacy, too!
It's a girl, Cassia! She's an absent-minded loner.
Now that there was a baby, I figured it was time for Georgia and Marley to get married. I don't think Claude was too happy about it, though.
Claude: I should've been heir! Curse you, peasants!
Thanks for dressing up for the occasion, Marley.
In the boys' section:
Everyone: BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
In the girls' section:
Everyone: Ho hum.
In the Aunt Michael section:
Aunt Michael: Is this a smile? Am I doing it right?
Troy knows just how to make her daughter's big day as awkward uncomfortable special as possible.
Hot Readhead: Hey, how's about I give you a hand job under the buffet table?
Vincent: I miss my wrench.
Oh, the things you learn about a man after you marry him. Looks like Marley's got himself a mistress on the side.
Joyce Johnston died in the middle of the wedding party. Joyce Johnston is Marley's mother. Oh dear.
The derpface can only mean one thing... it's Marley's birthday!
And he immediately launches into a midlife crisis. Guess I was wrong about only women having them.
Seriously? Wait until your bride's changed out of her wedding dress, at least.
Back at home, Cassia was dying.
Maybe because her baby-sitter was too busy bitching about her crying to bother feeding her, changing her, or paying any sort of attention to her whatsoever.
Georgia: Mommy had such a great time at her wedding party! And how's my precious little girl?
Cassia: Food... please... food...
Marley, I don't care how many puppy dog eyes you give me, you are not flirting with someone else.
We has elders! Troy's still cute...
But I can't say the same for Jacques. Why do all my elder guys look so damned creepy?
Georgia: See! You're great at cleaning up the dishes!
Marley: Shut up.
To thank him, Georgia gave him shower sex.
And then peed in front of him.
Marley: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING I SHOULDN'T BE SEEING THIS
Georgia: There's nothing wrong with our natural bodily functions, Marley. You need to understand that the human body is a beautiful engine and appreciate all that it can do!
He left so fast that he forgot to get dressed.
He spent the next several hours scrutinizing his face for wrinkles.
After forcing Marley to put some clothes on, I asked Whitney Pointer over so he could break up with her.
But before he could, she got all upset and accused him of cheating on her.
Whitney: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME, YOU TWO-TIMING DOG!
Marley: I'm married! If anything, I'm cheating on my wife with you!
Like derpface, floorbaby can only mean one thing...
BIRTHDAY! Also: YAY GINGER!
Also also: I love her.
After a makeover, she is tres cute.
The Georgia Penner method to potty training: hold the child down on the potty until she has no choice but to pee.
The aforementioned shower sex resulted in this. Georgia and Marley have had sex twice, and have gotten pregnant twice. I'm impressed!
Georgia, however, is not. Perhaps she's remembering Marley's reaction the last time she told him she was pregnant.
Two cars in the garage and Troy takes a taxi. Right.
Marley: *BREEEEEEEEEEATHE* You smell goooooooood...
Cassia: Someone help me.
Maid: So then I told him that I'd just gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn't ready to date yet. But he was persistent and kept calling and calling so then I unfriended him on Facebook hoping that he'd get the hint...
Jacques: *desperately looking for a way out of this awkward conversation*
Jacques: OH LOOK! PICTURES OF MY GRANDDAUGHTER!
Cassia had a fantastic toddlerhood, let me tell you. Since Georgia already had her guitar skill far beyond what she needed for her next promotion, she had nothing to do during her maternity leave but tend to Cassia. A nice change from the chaos of the last generation.
Fuck you, EAxis.
Marley: So... are you pregnant, or not?
Georgia: I don't know. I was hoping you'd be able to tell me.
Georgia: OKAY YEAH I AM PREGNANT.
Troy: Ooh, you're having a baby. Congratulations. Call me when it's something I haven't already done five times.
It's a boy! Corbin, good and easily impressed.
Cassia grows up just in time for her brother to use her crib.
First thing she does as a child? Break shit. Naturally.
But it's okay, because I freaking love her.
She rolled eccentric, and immediately had approximately fifty-two wants pertaining to painting. Something tells me she's going to be an artist.
Georgia and Marley get to work on another baby right away. However, said baby never materialized. Their success rate went from two for two to something like two for twenty-six.
You know, Marley, I don't really believe you, seeing as you rolled this want to divorce your wife while you were on top of her.
Oh my god I love her.
Little Miss Loner takes her breakfast into the empty study instead of eating at the table with her parents. I'd call her emo, but you just can't be emo while you're wearing a dinosaur costume.
Cassia got onto the schoolbus that morning. I know because I took this picture.
So imagine my surprise when, halfway through the day, I noticed that she was skipping.
I found her at school, but on the playground instead of in class. I don't know if she was being insolent or if she just forgot to go inside when the schoolbus dropped her off.
Jacques: HOW DARE YOU SKIP SCHOOL YOUNG LADY!
Cassia: ...I want my dolly.
Jacques: Honey, do you have to dance with that chisel in your hand?
Troy: Yes. My chisel is an extension of myself.
Now I know where Vincent gets it from.
Damn. Troy's pretty flexible.
HERPY DERPDAY, CORBIN!
He's a cutie.
And also kind of an asshole.
Georgia wanted to read the kids to sleep almost every night. She's a pretty awesome mom!
See? Awesome mom.
Troy: These are hard times, Cassia. The recession is eating people alive. Don't be afraid to get down on your knees and beg for a raise if you need to. You might even have to do some other things on your knees...
Cassia: I'd rather sleep on a park bench, Grandma.
Troy: Sigh. You're going to end up just like your hippie mother.
This was the first time I'd seen this interaction. I was highly amused.
Just pointing out that Jackson's dating an octogenarian.
Georgia: And then the princess realized that she didn't need a prince to save her-she was a strong woman, capable of rising above the patriarchal society that had oppressed her!
Corbin: Here, have a booger.
My first question is, who the hell's toothbrush are you using?
My second question is, I don't pay you to brush your teeth! I pay you to clean shit, like that filthy tub three feet to your left! (Okay, that wasn't a question. But my point is valid.)
I sent Georgia over to fire her. She was VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
Georgia: YOU'RE FIRED! THIS IS MY MEAN FACE! GRRRRRRRR!
Yep, it's official: Cassia is my favorite Sim of this legacy.
Cassia: Hell yeah I am, bitches.
What the hell is that, Jacques? Bloody flesh pie?
Corbin: Daddy! Daddy look! I'm growing up!
Marley: Boooooooring. See you later, kid.
He supposedly had a difficult upbringing, yet was assigned brave as his third trait. Makes sense.
Townie: Is that your grandpa passed out on the ground?
Cassia: Uhhhhh... no, definitely not. I've never seen that guy in my life.
She hightailed it out of there so she wouldn't have to suffer the humiliation of having such a wuss for a grandfather.
Oh, the troubles of the afterlife.
NEXT TIME:
I don't know, stuff.