I admit....

...that I feel really fucking dirty after last night. In the baddish way. Hanging out with a friend at her guy's house turned way more interesting than it should have.

I'm sorry. I posted one comment already, but I need to put this somewhere ( Read more... )

. . . I'm really, really afraid that next year we'll be too old for summer.

I'm glad I'm not eating dinner tonight.

I am indeed one of those spoiled princess types. Not in the rich way. In the sense that I don't get my way and I throw temper tantrums until I do. Its immensely immature and really the only time my temper comes out to play. I put on this nasty bitch face and attack, all the while paying no mind to whats being said or how much it hurts or if I'll ( Read more... )

... that this isn't fair.
... that I deserve happiness, but feel like I ALWAYS hit road blocks.
... that I just want to be happy, and it never seems to work out as simply (or easily) as it should.

...that I did love him no matter what I tried to tell myself or others.
...that I still love him even with everthing that happened.
...that  I'm probably crazy for still loving him.

... that he's got me questioning myself and my worth, even though I swear he doesn't. (It was a short relationship, after all.)
... that it sometimes hurts to be alive.
... that I really, really wish I could find something more, something that would make me feel alive again.

...that I have problems
...that I need help
...that I am scared shitless of beon honest
...that I have fucked up my family
...that I am not going to type the most important things here
...that I am scared my parents will even read this much
...that I lied my way out of therapy
...that it never stopped
............................................

• that the real reason i want to move to china has nothing to do with the culture or the history or the future and everything to do with the fact that it is so far from home. and maybe ill find out who my REAL friends are.


• that i've slept with 2 people. one was my boyfriend and one was the guy i cheated on my boyfriend with. i felt low and ( Read more... )