smittywing asked for
"Five Things Sherlock Holmes Wanted to Say to Irene Adler But Never Did."
My Very Dear Mrs. Norton,
My clipping service has sent me the notices of your recent performances in San Francisco. I offer my sincere congratulations, and am pleased to learn that marriage has not entirely ended your career. I should regret having seen you perform only fleetingly on a London street and missed your talents on the stage.
Should you and your husband ever return to London, you are welcome to call upon me at 221B Baker Street. You may, of course, dress as you like; Henry Poole and Co., at 15 Savile Row, has a particularly fine cut in trousers.
Doctor Watson also sends his regards, and assures you that there are no hard feelings on his part for the defeat enumerated among his chronicles. The same is true for myself. On the contrary; I have been beaten by others, but in no other instance was I able to take delight in it. The case was not wholly without benefit; I received a sovereign for my watch chain, and a handsome fee. The king also made me a present of your photograph, at my request, and expressed his wish that you had only been of his level. I could not share his wish, as it would be a disgrace for excellence such as yours to lower itself.
Since the death of Professor Moriarty, I find myself bereft of capable opponents. May I enquire as to whether you have ever considered a career in crime?
Very truly yours,
Sherlock Holmes
PS. What in God's Name did you ever see in the King of Bohemia?
thete1 asked for
"Five nights Jim Gordon almost tore down the wall of plausible deniability."
1. When Jim first woke up after that long, horrible night, he felt a glorious moment of hope that everything had been a nightmare. Then he realized he was in a chair at his daughter's bedside, and she was pale and motionless.
Jim kissed Barbara on the forehead, then staggered out to the nurses' station. The head nurse looked up at him. "Is there anyone you want us to call?" she said.
Jim had never wanted to say "Yes" so much in his life.
"No," he said. "No, I'm fine."
2. When, much later, he found out that Batman had been laughing with the Joker when the police arrived, Jim wanted to kick down his front door and spit in his face. Then he remembered how exhausted Batman had been, how desperately he must have been looking, how badly he'd been hoping that things could have been different before they all went bad. He just hoped Barbara never found out about it.
3. When the newspapers screamed ROBIN DEAD, Jim knew it wasn't true before they did. When the news hit the wires that some punk kid who'd been adopted by a guy with more money than brains had died in some kind of warehouse accident overseas, Jim read it on page A14 and couldn't take another bite of breakfast. He sent a brief note of condolence, one public figure to another, and received a briefer reply.
4. One evening when they were working on the guest list for the wedding, Sarah looked up from the dining room table, the surface of which was buried beneath Sarah’s laptop, both their Rolodexes, and several legal pads. “Jim,” said Sarah, “is there anyone else you want to add?”
5. Batman took off his mask in the backyard, and part of Jim wanted to look just so he wouldn't have to bother any more.