Comments | hogwarts_hocus: Application: Quintus Lentulus Batiatus (Spartacus : Blood and Sand)

masteroftitans in hogwarts_hocus

Application: Quintus Lentulus Batiatus (Spartacus : Blood and Sand)

Apr 26, 2010 21:36

((WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS for Spartacus: Blood and Sand, season 1.))

A middle-aged man of unimpressive stature, dressed in the garments of a successful Roman and drenched in blood, appeared on the floor of the Sorting Room. After a moment, he stood up, looking around. There was supposed to be a river. And a ferryman. And a three-headed dog. But ( Read more... )

wishbone, titus pullo, grima wormtongue, vislor turlough, application, jasper hale, donna noble, paul atreides, quintus lentulus batiatus, skwisgaar skwigelf, mordichai black, methos, joachim armster, slytherin, holy roman empire, tachibana shito

Comments 162

pullo_xiii April 27 2010, 15:52:53 UTC

So the fellow was another Roman, eh? Name like that, he'd have to be. And the whole "Jupiter's cock!" thing. Pullo hadn't met any others in his time here who cursed with those particular words.

"This isn't Hades, friend," he said, looking quite odd in his now-customary Hawaiian shirt open over a more usual Roman-style tunic. "Least, so far as I know. I was quite alive when I came to be here." He looked at the aureus with great interest. "You got any more of those, then?"

masteroftitans April 28 2010, 10:00:14 UTC

Pullo's Hawaiian shirt caused Batiatus to look at the man a bit warily for a second- Pullo was by far the most normal looking person he'd met yet at Hogwarts, aside from this detail, which was all the more glaring due to its incongruent combination with the familiar. But after a short observation, he had to admit that the shirt was one of the more attractive strange garments he'd seen thus far at Hogwarts due to its lively dyes and patterns, and his origin in a time where bright, vivid dyes were a luxury item.

"So I've been told, but I'm still not sure if I should be relieved. At least hell's something I understand, or, something I thought I did. This. . ." He gestured about the oddly-decorated room, unsure what exactly to call it. "I don't know what the fuck to make of it. Were you also spirited here ( ... )

pullo_xiii May 1 2010, 02:57:38 UTC

"Ah, but you're supposed to bribe here now, aren't you? Hardly a bribe if I'm the one selling you something." He grinned affably. "But, you can't go around covered in blood. Start drawing flies, eh? Tell you what. The aureus for a vote and a shirt. Sound fair?"

He chuckled. "Found myself here instead of the Aventine taverna. Nasty surprise, that. Thought I'd gone mad. Not a bad place, though. They teach you magic here. And the women... the ones here are good, and the ones outside of here... There's this place I went to, city in a desert called Las Vegas, and the girls..." He sighed happily, remembering.

masteroftitans May 2 2010, 00:22:43 UTC

Titus Pullo was like a breath of fresh air compared to what he'd been dealing with so far, which seemed to be mostly comprised of maddening conversation with foreigners that made little sense, and talking dogs. Here was someone who seemed quite sane and sensible, and most importantly, Roman. And with what sounded like a well-adjusted mind.

Batiatus returned Titus' grin. "What kind of businessman would I be if I didn't watch for an opportunity? Sounds like a fair deal." He'd far rather Titus get the aureus than some rumored talking hat, and he did really want one of those shirts- at least he'd have something to show for his odd trip, and, if Lucretia did arrive, he'd have the promise of amazing materials to improve her mood ( ... )

Thread 14

joachim_armster April 28 2010, 08:15:58 UTC

((Can Joachim read his mind, or would you prefer not? The most he'd use the info for would be to taunt Batiatus and/or play 20 questions about Batiatus' life, unless any more interesting plotty reasons crop up as they talk.))

So there wasn't likely to be a multiple headed hound to greet Batiatus on his sojourn into the wonderful hell that was Hogwarts, but there was a silver-furred, blue-eyed warg the size of a horse there, lazily sizing the man up as he sauntered around him once.

Joachim stopped in front of the applicant and sat back on his haunches, jaws parted and elongated canine teeth bared in a parody of a grin. It quite nearly managed to be a friendly expression.

"The application is incredibly asinine, isn't it?" he asked rhetorically, his speech accented, but not in any particular way that Batiatus might recognise. "And this is no underworld, as you've no doubt been informed by now, though it does in many ways operate like one. Oh, you shall find that out yourself soon enough..." He audibly sniffed as he tilted his head, ( ... )

masteroftitans April 28 2010, 11:49:10 UTC

((Go for it, I don't mind. =D Poor Bati's had a really bad day, but, he's not the sort to snap merely because of a mind-reading vampiric canine. XD Edited for a small clarification.))

Having died already that day, Batiatus merely found the sight of a properly Hades-sized canine interesting, and not shocking- even if he was beginning to doubt that Hogwarts was an 'underworld' in any sense he was familiar with. And, as Joachim had but one head, it presumably wasn't Cerberus. He eyed the creature approvingly, death and his sudden relocation failing to prevent his mind from leaping to the remarkable potential of such a beast. Although Batiatus had only trained men to fight in the arena, and not beasts, this sort of beast could be worth something. Animals didn't usually survive the arena, but, this one looked as if it would have an excellent chance ( ... )

joachim_armster April 29 2010, 10:04:29 UTC

Batiatus' thoughts were leaps and bounds more interesting than what he was saying, and illuminated just what sort of man he was with perfect clarity. A shrewd businessman whose real currency was mortal lives.

And there it was, straight from his own lips. Yes, a lanista.

That he had yet to even flinch spoke volumes-this wasn't a man too stupid or arrogant to be afraid, he was simply a shade brighter and more cunning than the average Sortee who passed through this inane ritual these days. And yet he'd clearly miscalculated somewhere along the line, to show up covered in his own blood, muttering about cocks and expecting to be ushered into hell...

The warg's broad, heavily muscled shoulders shook as he gave a growling laugh, focusing on Batiatus with a keen stare.

"You would make me your slave, hmm? I'm a nobleman of higher rank-and greater power-than many you will encounter here in this silly little establishment." Had been a nobleman, anyway, a few thousand years ago; Batiatus was not the first to contemplate Joachim's potential ( ... )

masteroftitans May 2 2010, 09:37:51 UTC

((Sorry I'm a bit slow, been a bit under the weather and braindead, and wanting to write a decent tag, not a sucky one. XD))

Batiatus' profession meant that he couldn't flinch- and it was a profession he'd been raised in. His father had owned the ludus before him. Batiatus' own professional plans had required him to temper this trait even further than required within the walls of the ludus, for he'd chosen to aim beyond his position and play the political game. Prior to his unfortunately timed death, he'd finally managed to maneuver circumstances to a position where he had a legitimate chance of reaching the office he so desired- a seat in the Senate. In fact, it had been at the private celebratory games marking the official patronage of the powerful legatus Glaber that his death had occurred ( ... )

Thread 8

best_guitarist April 28 2010, 09:17:53 UTC

With a bit of ingenious spellwork from the aforementioned sparklepire, Skwisgaar-as-a-mercreature was able to more easily move about when necessary by this point, having been effectively charmed to levitate with a near-invisible film of water constantly flowing over his skin and gills whenever he was on dry ground. He'd been returning from a trip to the lake when he'd noticed the brutal giant fucking wolf wandering the hallways, and had gotten distracted following him, hoping to possibly ask for a ride or to at least get him to come back to Hufflepuff so he could show Toki. Even at an insane place like Hogwarts giant wolves weren't an every day occurrence ( ... )

masteroftitans April 28 2010, 11:46:36 UTC

Despite having already encountered talking canines, as well as having been transported to some weird school after not dying very properly, the appearance of Skwisgaar caused Batiatus to just stare at him a moment with utter incredulity. He'd seen plenty of tritones depicted in religiously-inspired art, usually in conjunction with sea gods, but, to see what appeared to be a very real one, floating in the middle of a room and without a drop of water in sight was absolutely absurd. But now that Batiatus had realize that he wasn't exactly dead, the thought patterns which had dominated his life were once more operative, and, he couldn't help but try and estimate the exceptional monetary value of such an unusual creature.

He'd expected the triton to speak far more eloquently, but, it seemed that even talking dogs had higher faculties of speech than Skwisgaar. Luckily, Batiatus was experienced in dealing with all sorts of foreigners and accents, as, his gladiators had come from diverse origins. Still, it took him a moment to decipher ( ... )

best_guitarist April 29 2010, 23:41:41 UTC

Speaking correct English was for ugly, untalented people anyway. And dogs and giant brutal wolves, apparently. Besides, Skwisgaar was used to others being too stupid to understand any of the several languages he was fluent in, and had clearly forgotten about the translation charm at Hogwarts, so defaulted to his mangled English ( ... )

masteroftitans May 2 2010, 11:57:02 UTC

Batiatus had of course meant that he appreciated the blood of gladiators on other gladiators, rather than the audience, but, he wasn't in a mood to argue with anything as perplexing as Skwisgaar at that moment. It would have actually been rather difficult for blood to have gotten on the audience at the arenas, as, they were typically quite spacious and designed with seating at a level a gladiator would find very difficult to reach. Although, Batiatus knew of an 'alternative' sort of low-class arena, which they called the 'pits of the underworld', where the audience would often end up rather bloody due to close quarters and anything-goes rules. Dethklok would have greatly approved of the place, unlike Batiatus, who agreed it was low-class, even if it was useful on occasion ( ... )

Thread 8

shito_is_a_kun April 28 2010, 13:12:51 UTC

"You're dead, too?" Shito asked, wandering over. "A zombie, then?" He didn't have the ability to see the black ring that would have marked him as such. He wondered if he could collect bounty on those walking dead here.

masteroftitans April 29 2010, 12:30:28 UTC

There wasn't an exact equivalent to 'zombie' in his culture's mythology, so this didn't quite translate, but, the general ghoulish idea came across. "Hell if I know, anymore," Batiatus told the man- at this point, the idea of not being dead was becoming somewhat more appealing. The last way that he wanted to spend an eternity was trapped in a weird room talking to random people and canines. "I distinctly recall dying as the last thing which occurred before finding myself here, but, it seems that Mors has been slacking in his duty."

shito_is_a_kun April 29 2010, 19:36:55 UTC

Shito himself wasn't ghoulish. Those who became zombies through killing other zombies, those will-less, soulless creatures that weren't worth much of anything, were the ghoulish ones. And, there was the question of whether the son of a zombie was truly a zombie himself or just a living corpse.

He didn't quite understand the reference to Mors, but given the context, it was probably a ferry man. "I don't think Bekkou or that other ferry man have anything to do with this," he said, referring to the two he had met.

masteroftitans April 30 2010, 01:38:38 UTC

Shito looked quite alive to Batiatus, just oddly dressed. "The fucking ferryman hasn't even shown up, which is why I assume Mors failed at his work. I don't feel properly dead at all." Mors was the Roman equivalent of the Reaper- the god of death was Pluto, but, he didn't do the actual reaping of souls. "Others I've met here have claimed all sorts of absurd bullshit, such as suggesting that I'm in the future, and that talking headwear is somewhow involved." At this point, Batiatus was either waiting for a rational explanation, or, a sentient hat, and at this point, he wasn't sure he so much cared if there was a real hat. As long as he could get out of this room- he could perhaps find time to actually think about the situation in peace, and come to his own conclusions, then.

Thread 26

ancient_adam May 1 2010, 00:21:35 UTC

"Fallen into darkness? My my, aren't we melodramatic," the immortal snarked. "If you were dead, you're not now. You're north, in Caledon. But I'm sure the other students have covered this by now."

Methos wistfully wished that the translation charm would short out, even for a little while. He missed speaking Latin. He had lived in the Roman Empire for hundreds of years and dozens of lifetimes.

masteroftitans May 2 2010, 00:50:40 UTC

"So I've heard," Batiatus replied with a smirk. "No one's explained how the hell I got here, however. They seem to prefer leaping directly to the subject of talking hats and. . .time travel? Hell if I understand most of it- I'm still attempting to figure out I fucking failed at dying. You'd think that dying would be an incredibly easy undertaking." In Batiatus' perception, they were both speaking Latin- he was beginning to have some curiosity about the translation charm himself. When he'd believe himself in the underworld, everyone speaking Latin made perfect sense, but now, it was starting to prove a bit strange.

ancient_adam May 2 2010, 03:26:26 UTC

"No one's explained how you got here because no one can. They just wave their hand, call it magic and try not to dwell on it too much. In the beginning, it's probably for the best. The whole concept of time travel is a bit hard on the head."

Methos pushed away from the wall, "From the look of all that blood, you didn't fail at dying, you just failed to stay dead. It happens. So.. what does a citizen of Rome do when given a second chance at life?"

masteroftitans May 3 2010, 12:20:27 UTC

"What the fuck good is 'magic' if they don't know how the hell it works?" This was just splendid- not only was he stuck at some 'magic school', it was a magic school where they didn't care what they were doing. "I don't see how a lack of knowledge is for the best- an incredulous concept such as 'time traveling' might be easier to comprehend with some sensible background." Batiatus wasn't an 'intellectual', exactly- he didn't really go in for philosophy and the more abstracted pursuits. His interest was in the realm of strategy and manipulation, which meant that understanding how things worked was important. Especially the minds of men ( ... )

Thread 13