Application: Petulia Gristle, Discworld

[pigwitch]

(With permission of Tiffany- and Nac Mac Feegle-muns

Comments

[usethepoker]

Now this was an interesting application. "Lancre?" Susan asked. "You're from Lancre?" So far as Susan knew, aside from herself and the Feegles this girl was the only other Discworlder in the entire school (she'd never met Tiffany).

[pigwitch]

"Um, that general area, at least," Petulia replied. "I've been studying with Old Mother Blackcap in Sidling Without. I'm, um, not sure if we're really in Lancre, but we're close."

[usethepoker]

"Did anyone tell you you were coming here, or did you just suddenly find yourself here?" What she said next would depend very largely on the girl's answer--anyone just showing up invariably required a lot more in the way of explanations.

[pigwitch]

"Um, I just found myself here," Petulia said. She was a little relieved that the woman had suggested it - she still didn't know where she was, but maybe it wasn't so strange that she was there.

[lemondrop_party]

"I have always considered pigs to be very congenial animals," twinkled Albus.

[pigwitch]

"Um, me too," Petulia replied, smiling. "And they're cute, too. Their noses are all wobbly."

[lemondrop_party]

"So they are," Albus agreed. "I can think of few things I like more than a wobbly nose, except maybe a lemondrop. Do you like lemondrops, Miss Gristle?"

[pigwitch]

"Um, I don't know. I don't think I've ever had a lemon drop. Are they nice?" Petulia asked. She was sure they would be; he obviously had very good taste, if he liked pigs as much as she did.

[hellminxmel]

'The Pig Trick.'

Maia raises a disbelieving eyebrow, her own silver jewellery dangling neatly from her ears.

'The Pig. Trick. Oh, well done, Petulia Gristle! I bet they all line up and beg for that one. Do you go to parties and do it for free, or is there a deposit first?'

[pigwitch]

Petulia crossed her arms. "Um, I don't do it for parties," she retorted, "but mostly because most people don't want pigs at their parties."

[hellminxmel]

Maia snorts, crossing her own arms with grace. 'Personally I don't see why anyone would want a pig at all. They're only good for one thing--' she pauses. May as well include some human men in there, then. 'And everyone knows that to frighten a pig you just say 'bacon sandwiches.'

[pigwitch]

What, was this girl channeling Annagramma or something? If she started overusing the word "literally," Petulia was probably going to freak out.

"Um, you havn't known many pigs, have you?" she asked. "They're really, um, quite nice. And intellegent, too."

[teamseaslug]

"There's some zombies here, and one of them said she had sex with her demons." Osaka wrinkles her nose at the memory. "She was gross. Some of my friends and I are trying to get rid of the zombies, though." After a pause, she speaks again: "What's a pig trick? Is it like teaching them to play dead? Because you can just get bacon to do that."

[pigwitch]

"Um, it's a magic trick. That uses a pig," Petulia explained - or tried to. The pig trick was difficult to explain. "It is easier if the pig is well trained, though."

[teamseaslug]

"Is the pig your assistant?" She brightens up, smiling. "Do you dress it up, and that's why it needs to be well-trained?"

[pigwitch]

Petulia shook her head. "Um, I suppose you could dress it up, if you wanted to. But the trick, really... it makes a pig more piggish, I suppose. If you can do it, it shows you're, um, really good with pigs."

[ugly_old_hat]

"What's a soft nellie?" the Sorting Hat piped up, ever-inquisitive. "That sounds a bit kinky!"

[pigwitch]

"It's, um, a kind of goat cheese," Petulia said. "My friend Tiffany makes it really well." She wasn't even going to ask what kinky meant, which was probably a good thing.

[ugly_old_hat]

"Ohhhh."

The Hat sounded disappointed.

"Do you ever make cheese out of pig milk?"

[pigwitch]

"Um, no, I haven't," Petulia replied thoughtfully. "I'm not really much good with cheeses. Just with pigs."