I SAW THE SPOOKS MOVIE
AND I HAVEN'T STOPPED CAPSLOCKING SINCE.
Oh. My. God, everyone, it was basically exactly what you'd want from a Spooks movie. It was RIDICULOUS. It was AMAZING. There were fights. A whooooole bunch of people got shot. People get questioned A LOT. Things went boom. London (love of my life) looked fantastic.
SO MANY SPOILERS AFTER THIS. DO NOT READ UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN THE FILM.
Also now I've linked to this on
spooky_doings I feel obliged to say: 1) this is overexcited word vomit, not a sensible review and 2) I have a terrible memory and have probably got stuff in the wrong order/forgotten things.
So, why did anyone ever ever put Harry in charge of anything? You know you'd leave him to look after your goldfish while you went on holiday and when you came back it would be a Puffer fish and he'd just sit there going 'What?' and not understanding what he did wrong. He's HOPELESS. He's TERRIBLE. On the evidence of this one film, let alone the entire series, he's basically a fucking terrorist.
The film starts in London where it is chucking it down with rain (amazing) and a convoy transporting a terrorist is attacked and two officers are killed. Harry then fakes a suicide (oh, you melodramatic bastard) because he thinks there's a traitor in the ranks and is going to go off on his own like a dickhead. So he goes off to brood and then intentionally get himself caught by Qasim so he can make a deal to find out who warned him. WOW I SEE NO POSSIBLE DOWNSIDES TO THIS PLAN.
Some shady people (lbr, everyone is shady), including Oliver Mace and Jennifer Ehle, track down Will Holloway (Kit Harington, looking miserable and confused throughout the whole thing) because he was one of three calls Harry made (they couldn't track down the other two, WHO WERE THEY? I would not put it past Harry for one of them to be a pizza delivery). However, he used to be a spy and then Harry decommissioned him, DRAMA!
There's a bit early on where it turns out Harry has been running Erin infiltrating the terrorist's group and OH DEAR she's been found out (for fuck's sake, Harry) and Harry is basically forced to kill Erin and it's all very upsetting. Poor Erin.
So there is some spy nonsense that involves running round Heathrow for a long time and the upshot is...I forget now. Damn. Things happen, anyway! Will begins to suspect that things are Not Right!
He goes off to see one of the junior officers who was in the convoy to question her (she is Tuppence Middleton, who is NOT the girl who was in Becoming Human, that was Leila Mimmack apparently) and then THEY go off to question her colleague, and then Will makes the STUPID mistake of walking out onto a balcony to make a phone call, leaving the two of them alone together and OH WHAT A SHOCK suddenly there is a fight. Come the fuck on, Will. Do you know what genre you're in or not???
Anyway, fight fight BOOM, gunshot, dead colleague. Will tells Tuppence to let him deal with it and somehow gets rid of the body. Bodies disappear a lot in this film.
Then elsewhere (I can't remember what order this is coming in), the dodgy bunch (head of the JIC David Harewood, mysterious personage Jennifer Ehle and apparently HEAD OF THE SERVICE Oliver Mace) are at a gala thing and then oh fucking hell, the head of the JIC gets blown up and terrorist dude posts a video on the interwebs talking about it.
Then some other stuff happens (shit, I've forgotten the order already) including Harry recruiting Malcolm to do some internetting (nabbing bandwidth from the whole borough of Southwark, riiiiiiight) while confusing Will into er, hacking into a GCHQ database. He and Malcolm download this database so Harry can take it off to Berlin where the FSB (OF COURSE) will swap it for terrorist dude's wife.
Now. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that treason? Hacking into a database and stealing state secrets to give to the Russians??? The film doesn't seem to think so, or if it does it just doesn't want to make a big deal of it.
Will manages to chase Harry down to Berlin along with Tuppence, who turns out to be dodgy BUT NOT REALLY because actually she was doing as she was told by senior authority. But apparently Harry and Will want her to think very carefully about what she's done (er, HER JOB) so they tie her to a chair and go off to the exchange, where Harry doesn't have to face possible consequences of his actions because the FSB 'accidentally' killed Qasim's wife so he doesn't actually have to hand over the database.
The problem they have now is that Qasim wants his wife back to give Harry a number which will lead to the person who betrayed the service. So Will and Harry go back to London and kidnap/convince another officer into posing as Qasim's wife. Hey, guess what nationality Qasim's wife isn't? FUCKING ANGLO-JAPANESE.
SERIOUSLY? THIS IS THE BEST THEY COULD COME UP WITH????? Even if you ignore the massive racism (oh yeah, missed that from this series /sarcasm), IT MAKES NO SENSE. Terrorists have eyes as well!
So they're on Waterloo Bridge and there's a sniper and Will tries to get Harry to stall and then eventually the woman turns round and OH LOOK AT THAT the sniper had a picture of the wife, to the surprise of no-one but Harry, Will and Hannah (I had thought better of her because up until this point she seemed to be in a general mood of 'fucking really???' with what was going on). Hannah gets shot but thankfully not fatally.
Harry then gets on the phone to Qasim and something has clearly gone on because Qasim gives up his whole team just like that. And then Harry and Will get taken in.
For plot reasons (ahem) they get taken onto the grid and not into interrogation rooms, and the dodgy people attempt to question Harry about what he did.
And then. Sigh. It turns out what he did was tell Qasim one of the back routes into Thames House and presumably codes and things so they could get onto the grid.
REALLY? And we're fine with this, movie? REALLY???
So Qasim and his bunch burst onto the grid and then eventually Qasim gets into the reinforced glass strongroom in the middle of the grid, because of course there's one and of course he does.
OH NO WAIT FIRST A THING HAPPENS WHICH IS WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION. Calum - irritating shit who was brought in as IT guy over Tariq's head even though nobody liked him - gets shot. HA HA HA BYE NO-ONE LIKED YOU.
I had actually leaned over to
delgaserasca earlier in the film to say that he would probably live until the end. So happy to be wrong.
ANYWAY, Some Dude admits it was him who set it all up (anyone who didn't immediately go 'ha, as if' has not spent enough time watching this show) then Tuppence and Will work out a clever plan because they are clever spies and there is fighting and shooting and then SOMEONE GETS BLOWN UP WITH A GRENADE and that does go through the reinforced glass, allowing Will to shoot Qasim. Well done Will.
Oliver Mace just drops handcuff keys on the desk in front of Harry (you hilariously passive-aggressive sulky bastard, Mace) and then Harry frees himself and just fucks off. Literally just fucks off. Invites a bunch of terrorists into Thames House, lets everything go to shit around him, then just leaves.
Maybe my idea earlier was wrong. You'd leave him in charge of your goldfish and come back to find he'd burnt down your house.
Will chases after him, presumably to go 'WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?' but I don't think he actually said those words. Harry basically makes a bit of a speech then wanders off, all puffed up like the total bastard he is.
Then it's a week later and DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN, it wasn't Some Dude who was behind it all, it was Jennifer Ehle. Shock. And Harry gets rid of her pretty much the same way he got rid of Robert Glenister Home Sec, whenever that was, although in a nice touch it is using the same method she was going to use to get rid of him (a nasty suicide pill). So that's alright then.
And finally, Will is standing on the banks of the Thames and Oliver Mace has offered him a job. I can't remember if he answered one way or the other, but NEGATIVE SCREEEEEEEEEEN THE END.
So. That happened. And - I don't even know why I thought this - there was a higher body count than I expected. I think the s10 survivors are now Harry, Malcolm, Dimitri (not present in this film, sadly) and Tom Quinn if you count him. So a bunch of dudes. Shocking.
I am hopeful of fic for the new characters (I am not going to say I'll write it, because I know what my WIP list looks like) and actually it did give me some springboards for finishing off some of my WIPs so yay.
In conclusion: go see it, but go see it expecting a very long episode.
This entry was originally posted at http://hestia8.dreamwidth.org/66269.html.
Oh. My. God, everyone, it was basically exactly what you'd want from a Spooks movie. It was RIDICULOUS. It was AMAZING. There were fights. A whooooole bunch of people got shot. People get questioned A LOT. Things went boom. London (love of my life) looked fantastic.
SO MANY SPOILERS AFTER THIS. DO NOT READ UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN THE FILM.
Also now I've linked to this on
spooky_doings I feel obliged to say: 1) this is overexcited word vomit, not a sensible review and 2) I have a terrible memory and have probably got stuff in the wrong order/forgotten things.
So, why did anyone ever ever put Harry in charge of anything? You know you'd leave him to look after your goldfish while you went on holiday and when you came back it would be a Puffer fish and he'd just sit there going 'What?' and not understanding what he did wrong. He's HOPELESS. He's TERRIBLE. On the evidence of this one film, let alone the entire series, he's basically a fucking terrorist.
The film starts in London where it is chucking it down with rain (amazing) and a convoy transporting a terrorist is attacked and two officers are killed. Harry then fakes a suicide (oh, you melodramatic bastard) because he thinks there's a traitor in the ranks and is going to go off on his own like a dickhead. So he goes off to brood and then intentionally get himself caught by Qasim so he can make a deal to find out who warned him. WOW I SEE NO POSSIBLE DOWNSIDES TO THIS PLAN.
Some shady people (lbr, everyone is shady), including Oliver Mace and Jennifer Ehle, track down Will Holloway (Kit Harington, looking miserable and confused throughout the whole thing) because he was one of three calls Harry made (they couldn't track down the other two, WHO WERE THEY? I would not put it past Harry for one of them to be a pizza delivery). However, he used to be a spy and then Harry decommissioned him, DRAMA!
There's a bit early on where it turns out Harry has been running Erin infiltrating the terrorist's group and OH DEAR she's been found out (for fuck's sake, Harry) and Harry is basically forced to kill Erin and it's all very upsetting. Poor Erin.
So there is some spy nonsense that involves running round Heathrow for a long time and the upshot is...I forget now. Damn. Things happen, anyway! Will begins to suspect that things are Not Right!
He goes off to see one of the junior officers who was in the convoy to question her (she is Tuppence Middleton, who is NOT the girl who was in Becoming Human, that was Leila Mimmack apparently) and then THEY go off to question her colleague, and then Will makes the STUPID mistake of walking out onto a balcony to make a phone call, leaving the two of them alone together and OH WHAT A SHOCK suddenly there is a fight. Come the fuck on, Will. Do you know what genre you're in or not???
Anyway, fight fight BOOM, gunshot, dead colleague. Will tells Tuppence to let him deal with it and somehow gets rid of the body. Bodies disappear a lot in this film.
Then elsewhere (I can't remember what order this is coming in), the dodgy bunch (head of the JIC David Harewood, mysterious personage Jennifer Ehle and apparently HEAD OF THE SERVICE Oliver Mace) are at a gala thing and then oh fucking hell, the head of the JIC gets blown up and terrorist dude posts a video on the interwebs talking about it.
Then some other stuff happens (shit, I've forgotten the order already) including Harry recruiting Malcolm to do some internetting (nabbing bandwidth from the whole borough of Southwark, riiiiiiight) while confusing Will into er, hacking into a GCHQ database. He and Malcolm download this database so Harry can take it off to Berlin where the FSB (OF COURSE) will swap it for terrorist dude's wife.
Now. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that treason? Hacking into a database and stealing state secrets to give to the Russians??? The film doesn't seem to think so, or if it does it just doesn't want to make a big deal of it.
Will manages to chase Harry down to Berlin along with Tuppence, who turns out to be dodgy BUT NOT REALLY because actually she was doing as she was told by senior authority. But apparently Harry and Will want her to think very carefully about what she's done (er, HER JOB) so they tie her to a chair and go off to the exchange, where Harry doesn't have to face possible consequences of his actions because the FSB 'accidentally' killed Qasim's wife so he doesn't actually have to hand over the database.
The problem they have now is that Qasim wants his wife back to give Harry a number which will lead to the person who betrayed the service. So Will and Harry go back to London and kidnap/convince another officer into posing as Qasim's wife. Hey, guess what nationality Qasim's wife isn't? FUCKING ANGLO-JAPANESE.
SERIOUSLY? THIS IS THE BEST THEY COULD COME UP WITH????? Even if you ignore the massive racism (oh yeah, missed that from this series /sarcasm), IT MAKES NO SENSE. Terrorists have eyes as well!
So they're on Waterloo Bridge and there's a sniper and Will tries to get Harry to stall and then eventually the woman turns round and OH LOOK AT THAT the sniper had a picture of the wife, to the surprise of no-one but Harry, Will and Hannah (I had thought better of her because up until this point she seemed to be in a general mood of 'fucking really???' with what was going on). Hannah gets shot but thankfully not fatally.
Harry then gets on the phone to Qasim and something has clearly gone on because Qasim gives up his whole team just like that. And then Harry and Will get taken in.
For plot reasons (ahem) they get taken onto the grid and not into interrogation rooms, and the dodgy people attempt to question Harry about what he did.
And then. Sigh. It turns out what he did was tell Qasim one of the back routes into Thames House and presumably codes and things so they could get onto the grid.
REALLY? And we're fine with this, movie? REALLY???
So Qasim and his bunch burst onto the grid and then eventually Qasim gets into the reinforced glass strongroom in the middle of the grid, because of course there's one and of course he does.
OH NO WAIT FIRST A THING HAPPENS WHICH IS WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION. Calum - irritating shit who was brought in as IT guy over Tariq's head even though nobody liked him - gets shot. HA HA HA BYE NO-ONE LIKED YOU.
I had actually leaned over to
delgaserasca earlier in the film to say that he would probably live until the end. So happy to be wrong.
ANYWAY, Some Dude admits it was him who set it all up (anyone who didn't immediately go 'ha, as if' has not spent enough time watching this show) then Tuppence and Will work out a clever plan because they are clever spies and there is fighting and shooting and then SOMEONE GETS BLOWN UP WITH A GRENADE and that does go through the reinforced glass, allowing Will to shoot Qasim. Well done Will.
Oliver Mace just drops handcuff keys on the desk in front of Harry (you hilariously passive-aggressive sulky bastard, Mace) and then Harry frees himself and just fucks off. Literally just fucks off. Invites a bunch of terrorists into Thames House, lets everything go to shit around him, then just leaves.
Maybe my idea earlier was wrong. You'd leave him in charge of your goldfish and come back to find he'd burnt down your house.
Will chases after him, presumably to go 'WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?' but I don't think he actually said those words. Harry basically makes a bit of a speech then wanders off, all puffed up like the total bastard he is.
Then it's a week later and DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN, it wasn't Some Dude who was behind it all, it was Jennifer Ehle. Shock. And Harry gets rid of her pretty much the same way he got rid of Robert Glenister Home Sec, whenever that was, although in a nice touch it is using the same method she was going to use to get rid of him (a nasty suicide pill). So that's alright then.
And finally, Will is standing on the banks of the Thames and Oliver Mace has offered him a job. I can't remember if he answered one way or the other, but NEGATIVE SCREEEEEEEEEEN THE END.
So. That happened. And - I don't even know why I thought this - there was a higher body count than I expected. I think the s10 survivors are now Harry, Malcolm, Dimitri (not present in this film, sadly) and Tom Quinn if you count him. So a bunch of dudes. Shocking.
I am hopeful of fic for the new characters (I am not going to say I'll write it, because I know what my WIP list looks like) and actually it did give me some springboards for finishing off some of my WIPs so yay.
In conclusion: go see it, but go see it expecting a very long episode.
This entry was originally posted at http://hestia8.dreamwidth.org/66269.html.