Drabble requests part 3

[havenward]

And now for the third installment! Is anyone else wanting a drabble or two? I've a couple requests left on the table, but its for people that have already gotten one, and I don't want to do doubles if someone hasn't gotten one yet. :)

Just two, today. Enjoy!

(And as a note, I still haven't seen Dark Knight, so I'm borrowing my characterization

Comments

[greyrider]

Wow. My drabble is love

[havenward]

Thank you so much for the comprehensive feedback! I knew I'd be able to count on you :D

It was supposed to be 3rd, but my narrative voice did get a little wobbly.

I admit, I fudged a little on avoiding details, since I hadn't seen the movie and wanted to minimize the amount I was guessing at. But I agree, more imagery would have improved it.

So glad you enjoyed this :D Yay!

[greyrider]

I didn't realize you hadn't seen the movie. That explains the detail fudging.

I think you can fix my questions about the narrative voice with some spacing and paragraph break choices.

I'm glad you liked the feedback. I do hope you write that second part you hinted at. *pleads*

[teithiwr]

It has its own ghosts and monsters, dancing in the streets and in the open. Mmm, like this line.

Some of the Joker's emphases didn't feel entirely "natural" to me (in the context of his weird speech patterns, I mean) - but that's something that's pretty much impossible to pick up on unless you've seen the film a few times. *hides*

he grabs Sam by the shoulders and twirls him round in a bizarre, tilted waltz Ooh, I really like this image. Especially because of Sam's gigantor height! :D

[havenward]

No need to hide, I knew that things were going to be off since I hadn't seen the film. Its the sort of thing that's very hard to guess at when you've never heard it, so the fact that it didn't completely suck is a win in my book.

Glad you enjoyed it! Especially the dancing bit. It had to be done!

[teithiwr]

It's so plain weird in very subtle ways, so it's really hard to get across even when you have heard it... But your Joker definitely felt like Heath!Joker.

Dancing bits are always awesome! Bwee!

Dammit, now I want to write fic where the Joker dances. WHY SO MANY PLOTBUNNIES. *flail*

[havenward]

::shamelessly ushers them in your direction::

[girlfan1979]

I really liked this! I especially liked how the last line does double duty - nicely done!

Thank you :)

[havenward]

I'm glad!

the last line does double duty
I wish I could say I'd done it on purpose, but honestly I didn't even realize it had until you said that.

[girlfan1979]

I love it when that happens!

(Also I'm convinced it's a sign of a good author - that your brain is working away on stuff like that when you aren't even trying to be especially clever.)

[havenward]

(Also I'm convinced it's a sign of a good author - that your brain is working away on stuff like that when you aren't even trying to be especially clever.)

Me too... although its feels weird when I'm the one writing. Even wanting to eventually be published, I don't think of myself as an author, let alone A Good Author. I'm always pleased when it happens though :D

[ladywinchester]

That sent my brain careening into naughty bad dark twisted Dark Knight/Supernatural/The Crow places that I've been told to stay away from... Bad Wench!!