Comments | halfshellvenus: Supernatural Gen Drabble: "Gone" (Dean, PG)

halfshellvenus

Supernatural Gen Drabble: "Gone" (Dean, PG)

Jul 09, 2011 23:58

Title: Gone
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Dean (Gen, Drama)
Rating: PG
Summary (Pre-Series): Take your brother and run…
Author's Notes: For 5_prompts ("A lifetime in one breath").
Also for supernatural100 ("Windows").

x-x-x-x-x

( Dean shivered under the stars... )

spn_pre_series, spn_ep_based_fic, my_fic, sn_gen, drabbles, 5_prompts, wee-winchesters

Comments 10

si_star_x July 10 2011, 10:33:23 UTC

I adore the fact that this reads like a children's story. Absolutely heartbreaking but so true. I loved it, great job.

halfshellvenus July 11 2011, 05:43:12 UTC

Thank you! I keep coming back to this moment in the Winchesters' past. It was the beginning of the story of who the three of them became, but it was also (never addressed by the show) the end of Dean's childhood. So fast, and ultimately... so final. :(

rince1wind July 10 2011, 10:56:30 UTC

Succinct and very moving.

One thing didn't work for me, though: I think a child that small wouldn't be able to say, "It didn't mean they'd lose the whole house." I think it would be more ambiguous and more related to people or pets ( none here) and maybe favorite toys, or even "where would Sammy sleep if his crib and his room burned up?"

halfshellvenus July 11 2011, 05:46:22 UTC

I can actually see a child thinking exactly that, because they don't really understand the nature of fire, or how quickly it gets out of control.

Dean has Sammy, so he knows Sammy's safe, and it's so like a child to think that his parents can fix anything (at his age, Dean has already learned that problems that seem enormous to him are smaller to grownups).

Discovering that they can't is a huge step in the death of innocence. :(

Thanks for reading!

tsuki_no_bara July 10 2011, 13:44:03 UTC

poor wee!dean. :( this really works as a drabble - it's really powerful as a short fic. "he waited there for his parents to come tell him it was over, that everything was fine" is a really good image.

halfshellvenus July 11 2011, 05:48:53 UTC

Poor Dean. At his age, you compare everything to what you've already known, and he has no idea that some things will never be better again.

How this turns out for him, more than Sam or even John... it just cuts like a knife. That will always ache for me.

murielle July 11 2011, 06:08:22 UTC

Oh! I just want to hug Dean! Poor little guy!

Beautiful! I'm saving this to memories because ... I love it!

halfshellvenus July 12 2011, 17:31:50 UTC

Yay! Thank you for your lovely comments!

heliokleia July 12 2011, 19:51:08 UTC

Welcome to your new life, my brave little boy; your childhood's over and now you got a new, a lifetime task:
- taking care for Sammy.

Hello and sorry for being *coughs a little late, my dear Mme Venus; but here I am, finally to tell you how deeply your little drama snippet has moved me.
*nods**nods*

"A siren sounded in the distance as his father finally stumbled out of the house.
Alone."
- O dear. The bitter truth. And still so heartbraking, even after the hundredth time.

So thank you very much for writing that intense little Winchester drabble, my dearest Mme Venus, it was - despite all sadness and pain - a pleasure to read, as always.
*hugs* ♥

halfshellvenus July 12 2011, 20:05:29 UTC

your childhood's over and now you got a new, a lifetime task: taking care of Sammy

That has really always been one of the strongest things I take away from that moment: it's not just about the Winchester family, it's very much the end of Dean's childhood, forever. At age 5. :(

And still so heartbraking, even after the hundredth time.
It really is, isn't it? A moment like that never stops hurting, not for Dean or for anyone who loves the show.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting! And for my lovely, nommable chocolate. :D