The Great Outdoors
Title: The Great Outdoors
Series: A Year in the Life - June 2010
Date: June - Great Outdoors Month
author: cunningdeb
Rating: G
Pairing: adam/kris
Summary: The Allen-Lambert’s go a-campin’
Disclaimer: Pure fiction.
Part of my Allen-Lambert universe. Hannah is 9 yrs old, Josh is 3 yrs old.
--*--
The sun was setting over the trees and Kris leaned back in his camping chair, watching his family. Mrs. Willowby was preparing hot dogs for roasting, Hannah was chasing butterflies and Joshie was pulling up the grass. He looked around for his husband and caught site of Adam through the mesh netting, liberally applying bug repellent. This was the first overnight camping excursion for everyone except Kris. Adam had done the cabin thing but had never truly roughed it….
…it you could call this roughing it.
Adam had gone shopping all by himself for their first camping gear. Kris knew immediately it was a mistake the moment he agreed - especially when everything was delivered in a truck.
Kris would have been happy sleeping under the stars, open to the night sky, but as it was the kids first camping experience and Mrs. Willowby wasn’t all that keen, he agreed to have tents. He wanted two tents - one for him and Adam and the other for the kids and their nanny. Instead, they got the Trump Plaza!
Spread out in the clearing wasn’t a TENT but a HOUSE! Where the hell did Adam find it? There must be enough room in there for 10+ people. It had three rooms under one roof, each separated from the other by zippered flaps. The central room was like a living room with a bedroom in each wing. Adam found some inflatable furniture for that. They all got sleeping bags but the adults were given folding beds to put under the sleeping bags. That was fine for Mrs. Willowby but not for him and Adam. A large overhead flap held up by poles made a veranda to cover the long table and folding chairs.
Then there was a separate tent for the cooking. Forget the traditional campfire. Adam bought a state of the art camping stove with oven and wok -Mrs. Willowby had never used a wok in her life! There was a campfire but it was a metal fire pit that could be used to roast marshmallows and hot dogs.
Let’s talk bathroom facilities, shall we? Bears may poop in the woods but Adam Lambert doesn’t. He bought an enclosed latrine, complete with battery powered light for nighttime visits and a shower tent that used solar energy to warm the water.
After dinner, Kris pulled out his guitar and they sang around the fire. Under the night sky with only the flames for light, it looked authentic. For a while, he actually felt like they were truly enjoying The Great Outdoors as Mother Nature intended.
Eventually, it was time to go to bed. The kids settled down in their wing and the men in theirs. Adam promptly got on the bed. Kris rolled out his sleeping bag on the ground and crawled in.
“Baby, what are you doing down there?”
“Camping.”
“I’m camping too,” Adam whined.
“No….you’re cheating.”
“I am not cheating!”
Kris sat up, his head just passing the bed frame. “Adam,” he slapped the mattress, “this is not camping.”
“Is too!”
“No, it’s not!”
Adam leaned over, his face now inches from his husband’s. He didn’t want the kids to hear them arguing. “If this isn’t camping, then why do they sell all this shit at a camping supply store?”
Adam had him there.
“Well…it’s still cheating. Camping is cramped, bug infested tents with damp sleeping bags on hard ground.”
Adam’s face softened. “I feel so sorry for you.”
Kris huffed and curled back up in his sleeping bag. Adam reached over, turned on the space heater, and settled down himself.
--*--
“Kris! Kris!”
The man on the ground groaned. “What.”
“I heard a noise!”
“Go to sleep.”
“I heard a noise!”
“It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”
“What if it’s a bear?”
Kris laughed. “It’s not a bear.”
“What if it is?”
“Adam, I can guarantee you it is not a bear!”
“Then what if it’s a cougar? Or a giant snake?”
If Kris wanted any sleep, talking wasn’t going to make Adam shut up. Unzipping himself, he tossed his sleeping bag onto the bed, got back in and didn’t fight it when Adam caught him in a vice grip.
“Better?” Kris asked, patting Adam’s hand.
“Yeah, thanks.”
--*--
The sunrise woke Kris up. It was probably around 5am. Adam was heavy against him, snoring softly. As far as Kris could tell, the others were still sleeping. Extricating himself, he slipped out, doing a funny dance as the cold dew washed his bare feet. He started up the camp stove and made some coffee. The air was fresh, birds were singing and peace prevailed.
A noise caught his attention. Hannah came running out of the tent and disappeared into their latrine. Joshie was on her heels, grabbing himself and bouncing. His little face was twisting up as he tried to hold it in.
Kris took pity on his son. He gestured to the left with his head. “Go on, Joshie. It’s okay.”
The little boy ran off and through the French doors.
Kris sighed. Maybe next time, they could actually camp OUT of their backyard.
Series: A Year in the Life - June 2010
Date: June - Great Outdoors Month
author: cunningdeb
Rating: G
Pairing: adam/kris
Summary: The Allen-Lambert’s go a-campin’
Disclaimer: Pure fiction.
Part of my Allen-Lambert universe. Hannah is 9 yrs old, Josh is 3 yrs old.
--*--
The sun was setting over the trees and Kris leaned back in his camping chair, watching his family. Mrs. Willowby was preparing hot dogs for roasting, Hannah was chasing butterflies and Joshie was pulling up the grass. He looked around for his husband and caught site of Adam through the mesh netting, liberally applying bug repellent. This was the first overnight camping excursion for everyone except Kris. Adam had done the cabin thing but had never truly roughed it….
…it you could call this roughing it.
Adam had gone shopping all by himself for their first camping gear. Kris knew immediately it was a mistake the moment he agreed - especially when everything was delivered in a truck.
Kris would have been happy sleeping under the stars, open to the night sky, but as it was the kids first camping experience and Mrs. Willowby wasn’t all that keen, he agreed to have tents. He wanted two tents - one for him and Adam and the other for the kids and their nanny. Instead, they got the Trump Plaza!
Spread out in the clearing wasn’t a TENT but a HOUSE! Where the hell did Adam find it? There must be enough room in there for 10+ people. It had three rooms under one roof, each separated from the other by zippered flaps. The central room was like a living room with a bedroom in each wing. Adam found some inflatable furniture for that. They all got sleeping bags but the adults were given folding beds to put under the sleeping bags. That was fine for Mrs. Willowby but not for him and Adam. A large overhead flap held up by poles made a veranda to cover the long table and folding chairs.
Then there was a separate tent for the cooking. Forget the traditional campfire. Adam bought a state of the art camping stove with oven and wok -Mrs. Willowby had never used a wok in her life! There was a campfire but it was a metal fire pit that could be used to roast marshmallows and hot dogs.
Let’s talk bathroom facilities, shall we? Bears may poop in the woods but Adam Lambert doesn’t. He bought an enclosed latrine, complete with battery powered light for nighttime visits and a shower tent that used solar energy to warm the water.
After dinner, Kris pulled out his guitar and they sang around the fire. Under the night sky with only the flames for light, it looked authentic. For a while, he actually felt like they were truly enjoying The Great Outdoors as Mother Nature intended.
Eventually, it was time to go to bed. The kids settled down in their wing and the men in theirs. Adam promptly got on the bed. Kris rolled out his sleeping bag on the ground and crawled in.
“Baby, what are you doing down there?”
“Camping.”
“I’m camping too,” Adam whined.
“No….you’re cheating.”
“I am not cheating!”
Kris sat up, his head just passing the bed frame. “Adam,” he slapped the mattress, “this is not camping.”
“Is too!”
“No, it’s not!”
Adam leaned over, his face now inches from his husband’s. He didn’t want the kids to hear them arguing. “If this isn’t camping, then why do they sell all this shit at a camping supply store?”
Adam had him there.
“Well…it’s still cheating. Camping is cramped, bug infested tents with damp sleeping bags on hard ground.”
Adam’s face softened. “I feel so sorry for you.”
Kris huffed and curled back up in his sleeping bag. Adam reached over, turned on the space heater, and settled down himself.
--*--
“Kris! Kris!”
The man on the ground groaned. “What.”
“I heard a noise!”
“Go to sleep.”
“I heard a noise!”
“It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”
“What if it’s a bear?”
Kris laughed. “It’s not a bear.”
“What if it is?”
“Adam, I can guarantee you it is not a bear!”
“Then what if it’s a cougar? Or a giant snake?”
If Kris wanted any sleep, talking wasn’t going to make Adam shut up. Unzipping himself, he tossed his sleeping bag onto the bed, got back in and didn’t fight it when Adam caught him in a vice grip.
“Better?” Kris asked, patting Adam’s hand.
“Yeah, thanks.”
--*--
The sunrise woke Kris up. It was probably around 5am. Adam was heavy against him, snoring softly. As far as Kris could tell, the others were still sleeping. Extricating himself, he slipped out, doing a funny dance as the cold dew washed his bare feet. He started up the camp stove and made some coffee. The air was fresh, birds were singing and peace prevailed.
A noise caught his attention. Hannah came running out of the tent and disappeared into their latrine. Joshie was on her heels, grabbing himself and bouncing. His little face was twisting up as he tried to hold it in.
Kris took pity on his son. He gestured to the left with his head. “Go on, Joshie. It’s okay.”
The little boy ran off and through the French doors.
Kris sighed. Maybe next time, they could actually camp OUT of their backyard.