Fic: The Dragon Within ~ Part 7 [PG-13] Merlin/Arthur
Arthur did his best to block out as much of the funeral as possible. His only real role was to stand near his father’s body and look serious, but not upset, accepting, but not relieved, and prepared to rule, but not eager. Various councillors spoke and offered prayers, women in the hall wept noisily and Geoffrey of Monmouth droned for a small eternity, but he was able to let most of it wash over him without really paying attention. His feet were cramped from hours of standing very still, but he all he could do was wait for the ceremony to finally be over. He had made his peace with his father’s death last night, and judging by the stoic expression on Morgana’s face, she felt the same. This was a formality, not an expression of real grief.
The only part that seemed to hold any sincerity was the large crowd of people from the lower town that had spontaneously gathered in the courtyard holding candles. He had seen the first people arrive before the court had assembled in the great hall, and it pleased him to see so many there. As the night darkened, the glow from their candles could still be seen through the windows.
After he had lead the procession down into the catacombs beneath the castle, after his father had been lowered into his final resting place and sealed inside, after he had bathed and dressed in white robes and mantle, Arthur stood alone inside the throne room. The sound of the heavy doors closing echoed through the empty space and Arthur breathed deeply for the first time in hours. Finally, no one was watching his every move.
Well, almost no one.
“This doesn’t look much like meditating to me,” Merlin quipped, stepping out of the shadows.
“You wouldn’t know quiet contemplation if it bit you, Merlin,” Arthur tossed back, but felt a smile tugging at his lips all the same.
“Are you still serious about sneaking out of the castle on the eve of your coronation?”
“Absolutely. The last thing I want to do is spend another night pacing a room waiting for the sun to rise.”
“I could just help you find someplace to sleep. You look exhausted.”
Arthur shrugged. “I’ll sleep tomorrow night. I believe drinking until you pass out is one of the more sensible traditions associated with a coronation.”
“Well, if we’re going to go, you need to change,” Merlin said, tossing a bundle of clothes at him. “There’s no way we won’t be seen if you’re wearing that.”
Quickly pulling on the clothes and boots Merlin had brought, Arthur wrapped himself in a dark blue cloak and followed Merlin out the servant’s door. The whole castle was subdued, quieter than it would normally be in the upper corridors, though Merlin assured him that the lower floors would be bustling with activity through the night.
“The cook has been in a state for hours and it’s hot enough in there for a person to roast alive just by walking through the kitchens. It’s going to be quite the feast.”
“It’s not exactly something that happens all the time, Merlin, or at least it’s not supposed to.”
“All I can say is I’m glad my official duties prevent me from getting roped in to help.”
“Things will get back to normal soon,” Arthur told Merlin, more in the hopes of convincing himself than placating Merlin.
“Whatever normal is,” Merlin said with a small chuckle, and he darted down a darkened stairwell leading towards the tunnels.
Merlin had led them in circles through the tunnels for a while before Arthur had pushed him aside and found the way out himself. A blue sphere of light bobbed in front of him, darting out of the way whenever he batted at it in irritation, making Merlin snicker behind him. Once they were out of the castle, walking away from the city, Merlin extinguished the light and Arthur had to struggle to see the path in front of him by the marginal light of the hazy moon. Merlin had never seemed so surefooted in his life, which seemed odd until he had confessed that his vision had improved considerably since becoming a Dragonlord.
The night was cold, but still. The wind that had howled through the night for weeks was strangely absent and it was unnaturally quiet as they walked down the winding path through the trees.
When the path opened up on a wide, grassy clearing, Merlin looked at him with an anxious expression troubling his features. “This is the place.”
Arthur frowned. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. I just never thought I’d bring anyone else here.”
“Are you expecting the dragon to show up?”
Merlin shrugged. “I don’t know. After the first time, Kilgharrah always seem to know when I was coming. Most of the time he’d be here waiting.”
“What did you argue about with a dragon?” Arthur asked, but Merlin didn’t reply.
Although their breath was visible in the cold night air, Merlin shed his shirt without hesitation. Arthur shivered at the thought, but the chill didn’t even appear to be raising gooseflesh on Merlin’s bare skin. Merlin wadded up the shirt and tossed it on the ground, and then with a sound like a battle standard snapping in the wind Merlin was surrounded by huge wings. It startled Arthur and he stepped back reflexively.
“I had almost begun to think I had imagined them. That is remarkable,” Arthur said.
Merlin stretched his wings, extending them to their full span and made a few half flaps. “The flying part is alright, but they’re a bit of a hassle most of the time. It’s like having arms that sometimes don’t do what you want them to and randomly smack you in the head or knock things off shelves when you aren’t paying attention.”
“Are they difficult to use?”
“They’re confusing. One day I woke up with a part of my body that didn’t feel like it was entirely part of my body. It was a bit like learning to walk all over again. A few things were instinctive, but I had to practice a lot.”
Arthur closed the space between himself and Merlin and reached up a hand before remembering the awkward moment that morning and thinking better of it. As he drew his hand back, Merlin smiled and shook his head. “You can touch them if you like. The wings themselves feel the same as when someone touches my arm.”
Arthur cleared his throat to cover his embarrassment and ran a hand along the leading edge of Merlin’s wing. It felt strong and muscular closest to Merlin’s body and became thinner and more flexible beyond the last joint. Looking to the spot where he remembered Morgause’s spell had left a black scorch mark, Arthur saw the skin was completely healed, leaving only the faintest discolouration. His fingers ran along part of the trailing edge and the skin was leathery but flexible under his fingers, and very warm.
“How is it you’re so warm? It’s freezing tonight,” Arthur griped.
“That was one of the changes. My eyesight and hearing got better. Everything tastes stronger now, and a lot of the time my clothes feel scratchy and uncomfortable, but I don’t feel the cold as much. I could spend most of the night flying and not feel a chill, at least until winter comes on completely. I don’t know how it works, but when I have my wings out my whole body feels warmer. It’s a bit less when they’re pulled inside, but it’s still noticeable,” explained Merlin.
Arthur dropped his hand and took a step back. “Let’s see this then.”
Merlin turned away, took a few steps, crouched, and then with two powerful wingbeats launched himself in the air. Arthur gasped and stared as Merlin rose up nearly to the tops of the trees and began flying in a wide circle around the clearing. Most of the time he thought of Merlin as clumsy and awkward, but now he was completely different. His wings beat powerfully, pausing occasionally to glide on the currents of air, dipping down close to the ground before a few confident strokes lifted him up again. Arthur watched in amazement as Merlin circled the clearing several times before landing gracefully a few paces away.
He walked up to Arthur grinning broadly. “The landing is the trickiest part. I haven’t come out for a couple weeks, but that was pretty good.”
Arthur shook his head in wonder. “That was amazing.”
“Do you want to try?” Merlin asked.
“What?”
“I could use my magic to hold you in front of me. I think I’m strong enough to get us both up in the air.”
“You think? That does not fill me with confidence.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. “I haven’t exactly had the opportunity to try. Come here.”
Arthur didn’t move or make any sign of agreement, but Merlin seemed to take anything short of backing away in horror as assent and tugged his cloak off. “That’ll flap about and get in the way and it won’t be much use.”
Stepping behind him, Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur’s chest and whispered something guttural and unintelligible next to his ear. His entire body was pulled tightly against Merlin’s and the arms around his chest relaxed slightly. Merlin shifted a bit and Arthur felt himself pulled along with the movements.
“That should do it,” Merlin said, and his muscles tensed in anticipation.
The large wings beat heavily on either side of him several times and a moment later Arthur was lifted into the air. He gaped as the ground appeared to fall away beneath him. Cold air stung his face and his heart raced like it did at the beginning of a tournament. He looked around to see the world moving in a blur around him, only the moon remaining fixed in the sky. Arthur smiled broadly and laughed aloud as Merlin brought them swooping down low to the ground before the powerful beating of his wings lifted them up again.
They circled the clearing twice, and then landed with a slight stumble on the ground beside the discarded shirt and cloak. The spell holding him tightly against Merlin ended and Arthur stepped forward, feeling the ground solid beneath his feet before letting out a joyful whoop.
“Wow! That was... wow,” Arthur said, at a loss to describe the sensation.
Merlin was panting a bit from the exertion, but he smiled back. “I know.”
His entire body tingling with exhilaration, Arthur took Merlin’s face in his hands and kissed him. He felt Merlin gasp against his lips, but a moment later the kiss was returned with great fervour. Arthur hadn’t known that kissing Merlin was something he wanted until that moment, but it felt inexplicably right. Merlin was always at his side; he belonged there. It was clear to Arthur now that Merlin was so much more than a manservant or an advisor or even a good friend. Merlin was everything, and Arthur was incomplete without him. Arthur sunk his fingers into Merlin’s hair and held him close while Merlin’s hands slid around his waist and pulled their hips together. He moaned and nipped at Merlin’s lips while pressing his hips forward. The cold of the night vanished and Arthur pulled back enough to see that Merlin had enfolded them both inside his wings.
Breathing hard, Merlin said, “I have to fight to keep my wings in all day. Sometimes my nubs twitch and it’s all I can do not to wrap my wings around you.”
“That might make council meetings more interesting,” Arthur quipped, feeling a bit out of breath himself.
Merlin laughed breathlessly. “Not a great idea during training, though. That’s when the urge is the strongest.”
“You want to protect me?” Arthur asked, only half teasing.
The arms around his waist tightened and Merlin pressed his forehead against Arthur’s saying, “It’s what I do.”
Arthur felt Merlin’s body begin to shake and he held on tighter. He covered Merlin’s face with light kisses, mapping the familiar face with his lips, before dropping down to capture his mouth again. Merlin clung to him, the fingers digging into his shoulders nearly painful, but Arthur found he didn’t mind in the least.
Whether it was minutes or hours they spent locked in that fierce embrace, Arthur couldn’t say, but eventually they parted enough to catch their breath. When Merlin pulled away, Arthur felt the cold of the night creeping in and shivered. Merlin picked up his cloak and tossed it at him, but it was damp and would take a few minutes to warm to his body. It was a poor substitute to the living warmth he had been wrapped in. Merlin picked up his shirt but made no move to put it on, twisting it anxiously in his hands.
“What is this?” Merlin asked, his voice small and distant.
The words ‘I don’t know’ were at the tip of his tongue, but Arthur didn’t say them. Merlin had asked him too many questions recently to which the only answer he had given was ‘I don’t know.’ Merlin had been patient and accepting in a way he almost never was, but he deserved a proper answer. Arthur floundered for the right words.
“This is... us.”
“Us?” Merlin said with a small frown.
“Yes, us. We’ve always had a connection, haven’t we? You’ve always had the nerve to challenge me and you’re the only person I tolerate it from.”
“Tolerate. Nice, Arthur,” Merlin spat, and began walking away.
Arthur winced at his words and hurried after Merlin. “No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Well what do you mean?”
“I care about you, Merlin, and I like you. I like having you around. Sometimes we do things that irritate each other and sometimes we have big rows, but we always seem to come back to each other. I like that I’m just a person to you, even if I wish you’d use proper forms of address in public, and I like that you always speak your mind,” Arthur said, putting a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and giving it what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze. “The only other person who does that is Morgana.”
Merlin pushed him away. “Then maybe you should be with her.”
“If I had half the feelings for her as I do for you I would have been a long time ago. I don’t want to be with her and she certainly doesn’t want to be with me.”
“And you think I do?”
A heavy lump settled in Arthur’s stomach. “I hope so, otherwise I’ve just ruined everything.”
Merlin didn’t respond, but he also didn’t walk away. He took the shirt that he had balled up and shook it out. Without warning, his eyes flashed golden and the wings were gone. He yanked his shirt on, then crossed his arms over his chest and stood scowling at Arthur.
Finally he said, “It’s always been enough to serve you. If I get to have more than that for a while I won’t be able to go back. Serving you wouldn’t be enough anymore.”
“Well good, because my affections aren’t that fickle.”
“Would Gwen agree with that?”
“Gwen likes the idea of me, not the reality, and I’m the same. She’s kind and lovely and all the things anyone should want, but we don’t fit together.”
“And we do?”
Arthur took one of Merlin’s hands and laced their fingers together. “In our own strange way, I think we do.”
Merlin glanced down at their hands and chewed at his lower lip. His brow furrowed and smoothed several times, as if fighting some internal struggle, before he gave a small nod. “Yeah, we do, but that doesn’t make it simple.”
“No, but I’d rather be happy than have things easy. Since I turned sixteen, my father had me pretend to court more than a dozen women, none of whom he had any intention of me actually marrying. I sick of my favour being used as a pawn.”
“You have a choice now. You’re the king. You can marry any woman you want.”
“The only problem is I haven’t wanted to marry any woman I’ve ever met. I don’t want to marry a stranger or someone I can’t stand to be around or someone who is pretending just as much as I did so that she can be queen. I want a companion, not a wife.”
“And when you need an heir? I’m afraid you’re putting too much faith in my magical talents if you think I can give you one.”
“I could ask you the same question. You said you’re the last Dragonlord,” Arthur said with a frown as the thought had only just occurred to him.
“The last Dragonlord to the last dragon,” Merlin said sadly. “What need is there for more?”
“There could be others.”
“Perhaps,” Merlin said, and grew quiet again.
Arthur rubbed his thumb across the back of Merlin’s hand and Merlin leaned into his side. He felt Merlin relax against him and eventually turn in towards him, dropping his head against Arthur’s neck. Arthur brought his arms up to rest gently on Merlin’s back and turned his head to drop a light kiss on the top of Merlin’s head.
“Alright,” Merlin mumbled into his neck.
Arthur moved his shoulder and Merlin lifted his head to look at him. “We’ll figure it out.”
Merlin gave Arthur a lopsided smile. “Yeah. Besides, I threw my lot in with yours a long time ago. It’s a bit late to be changing my mind.”
Merlin cupped Arthur’s cheek and pressed a kiss against his mouth that was sweet and tender and full of promise.
The throne room was a crowded press of people and the room hummed with their excited whispers. Merlin pulled his face away from the small gap in the door and grinned at Arthur.
“Ready?”
Arthur rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Of course.”
The knights surrounding them in their formal livery looked amused, but Merlin couldn’t bring himself to care that they were laughing at his expense. He was in too good a mood.
The castle tailor had clearly spent the past two days working without rest. The sleeves of Arthur’s mail glinted in the morning light, the rest of it covered by a gleaming white tunic with the Pendragon crest emblazoned on a red shield in the centre of his chest. Arthur’s sword rested at his hip and his boots were polished to a perfect shine. Draped across Arthur’s shoulders was a deep red cloak richly embroidered with gold thread that caught the light.
Arthur shone.
When Geoffrey finally came shuffling towards them, Merlin checked one last time that the cloak was hanging properly, gave Arthur’s shoulder a discrete pat, and slipped into the throne room to stand beside Gaius.
The room fell silent when the large doors swung wide. Geoffrey of Monmouth led the procession of knights who arranged themselves on either side of the dais, protecting the throne. When they had stilled, a trumpet rang out through the room. Arthur walked slowly and purposefully past the people bowing their heads and knelt on the step in front of the throne where Geoffrey stood.
Geoffrey’s voice was clear and echoed through the room. “Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the peoples of Camelot according to their respective laws and customs?”
“I do so solemnly swear,” Arthur responded.
“Will you, to your power, enforce law and justice in mercy with wisdom in all your judgements?”
“I will.”
“Then by the sacred law and customs of this land, I crown you, Arthur, King of Camelot,” Geoffrey proclaimed, lowering the crown onto Arthur’s head.
The room seemed to collectively draw a breath as Arthur stood and turned to face his people.
Geoffrey said, “Long live the King!” and the room burst into a chorus of shouting that reverberated around the four walls and deep in Merlin’s chest.
Across the space that separated them, Merlin’s eyes met Arthur’s, and even though he was in a room full of people, the words he said were for Arthur alone.
“Long live the King!”
For a man who had gone without sleep for two nights in a row, Arthur held up through the celebrations remarkably well. He had graciously accepted praise from countless courtiers, stood on the balcony overlooking the courtyard, and smiled as the people cheered, and watched politely as various musicians and performers displayed their talents. He had even sat through the endless toasts without making disparaging remarks to Merlin out of the corner of his mouth, which was perhaps the most impressive feat of the day.
It was early evening by the time Arthur decided he had spent enough time celebrating and could leave the festivities to continue on without him. When they arrived back in Arthur’s rooms, he only made it as far as the nearest chair before collapsing in exhaustion. Merlin smiled fondly at Arthur as he slumped forward onto the table.
“Why on earth was I not allowed to sleep for two days?” Arthur moaned into the pillow of his arms.
Merlin went to the hearth to build up the fire. As he stoked the coals he said, “I offered to find a place for you to sleep last night. You were the one who insisted on sneaking out of the castle.”
“Shut up, Merlin.”
“Are you comfortable there, or would you be interested in making it the ten steps you need to get to bed?”
“Mmmph,” Arthur replied, but shifted into an upright position.
It was a bit of a struggle, but he eventually got Arthur’s fancy clothes and heavy mail shirt off and knelt to remove the boots.
“I don’t like them,” Arthur said.
“What don’t you like?” asked Merlin.
Arthur wiggled his foot. “The boots. They pinched all day.”
“Well, you don’t have to wear them again. At least you won’t if I can get them off,” Merlin said, tugging at the laces.
There was shifting and grunting and a few muttered curses, but eventually Merlin gave up and spelled the boots off. Arthur curled and uncurled his toes and gave Merlin’s shoulder a gentle push with his foot. Merlin looked up to find Arthur smiling sleepily down at him.
“If it’s easier, just use it. I’m not upset about the magic. I shouldn’t have to keep telling you that.”
“It’s a habit, Arthur, and a good one. You may be fine with it, but sorcery is technically still illegal.”
“Pssssh. As soon as I can, I’m going to make you an official advisor for magical concerns and then you can help me change the laws.”
“Does that mean I won’t have to wash your socks anymore?” Merlin quipped.
Arthur snorted. “As if you ever did. It will be different when you aren’t my manservant, though.”
“So you’re finally sacking me.”
“No. You’re just moving up in the world. Not quite yet, but soon,” Arthur said, and yawned widely.
Merlin stood and offered Arthur a hand out of the chair. “Come on, Arthur. You need sleep, and as king I imagine you can sleep off your celebrating for as long as you want tomorrow.”
Accepting the hand, Arthur shuffled sleepily towards the bed and sat down on the edge. He grabbed Merlin’s hand and tugged him down for a kiss.
“I’ve wanted to do that all day,” Arthur said when their lips parted.
“Is there anything else you’d like, your Majesty?” Merlin teased.
Arthur yawned again and nodded. “A great many things, but I’m too tired. In the morning.”
Merlin pulled the covers back and helped Arthur into bed before putting out the candles and heading for the door. “Goodnight, Arthur.”
“Where are you going?”
“To bed.”
“It’s right here,” Arthur said, patting the bed beside him.
Merlin was a bit surprised by the suggestion, but couldn’t deny the bed looked as appealing as it had the afternoon of his clandestine nap, perhaps more so now with Arthur there smiling at him in invitation. Before he was aware of his decision, Merlin nodded.
“I like to sleep with my wings out. It’s more comfortable. Is that a problem?”
Arthur shook his head, still smiling contentedly. “Wings are fine. Come to bed.”
He couldn’t help feeling self conscious as he shed his formal tunic and shirt while Arthur watched him, completely unabashed. Merlin stumbled while toeing off his boots and let his wings unfurl to hide his embarrassment. Darting under the covers, he wiggled and shifted, trying to find a comfortable position on his side of the bed and making sure his wings wouldn’t end up smacking Arthur in the face. When he was settled, his head resting on the wonderfully soft feather pillows, Merlin heard Arthur sigh loudly. He felt Arthur moving closer and then there were arms around him, dragging him off the yielding down and onto solid chest. Merlin found Arthur’s chest a pleasant substitute and hummed in contentment.
Arthur ran his fingers along the base of Merlin’s wings and whispered, “I thought you wanted to wrap me up in your wings.”
“Yes,” Merlin breathed, and drew his upper wing around Arthur, holding him close.
“That’s nice. I like your wings. They’re strangely beautiful, like the rest of you.”
“Mostly strange. You’re beautiful, though. Not that you don’t get told that a dozen times a day,” Merlin said, yawning widely.
Arthur dropped a light kiss on the top of his head and tightened his arms. “It only matters coming from you. Goodnight, Merlin.”
“Goodnight,” said Merlin, pressing a kiss to the warm skin in front of him.
Wrapped up together, they fell asleep.
Fin
Masterpost | Part 6