Eunhae: Unconventional (#2)
Even though Kihae is my OTP, I still like Eunhae... and because I don't write them often enough, here's a Eunhae drabble. Not really angst, because I wrote too much the other day and am still recovering.
I really liked my abstract summaries, since they seemed more mysterious and less plot-spoiling. But I suppose I should start making them more informative to the reader...? What do you all think?
Title: Unconventional
Pairing: Eunhae (#2)
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff?
Word Count: 1047
Summary: It was an unconventional sort of love, initiated by the lame excuse of a confession that Hyukjae regretted making. But maybe it hadn't been so bad.
Archive:: here
Unconventional
You had said it on a whim. And perhaps, in retrospect, you regretted having done so.
"Honestly, a long time ago, I sort of liked Donghae...."
The man's loud and surprised reaction had said it all. And while you had defended yourself, while you had lied to him, while you had reassured him that "Now you only thought of him as a friend," you'd learned how he'd really felt.
He wasn't interested.
Or so you thought, at least. Because though you'd heard the rejection loud and clear from his own mouth, his actions were hardly as convincing.
The filming itself had been bad enough, as contact with him had been necessarily and against your will. But at least then he'd been close to you because he, too, was required to. The light kisses (albeit on the cheek, whether that'd been a good thing or not), the rolling around in bed, the unnecessary skinship -- at least they'd all been part of the job description.
You wished you could say the same thing about fanservice. The way he would chase you around on stage, the way he'd sometimes wrap an arm or two around you, the way he'd grin madly at you every now and then, the way he'd lean into you. You wished you could say that had all been part of the job description -- hell, he himself had used the excuse.
But though you were quite certain he wasn't interested in you, you couldn't help but to feel as if you'd been mistaken. Even with the auditory evidence in hand, and even though you knew it was probably for the better if you accepted the truth and moved on, you couldn't help but to hope.
It might've been more convincing if Donghae were any different off the stage than on it. But while other members had dropped the acts when the cameras did too, Donghae had not.
"Stop it," you would say sometimes, perhaps on the tiring or gloomy days you hadn't been in the mood to put up with his antics. "Donghae, no one's watching, you can stop."
"But why?" he'd ask you with his trademark grin. "I thought you liked it."
And though you rejected his belief, you had to admit he'd been right.
Sometimes you wished you knew if Donghae meant it or not, the way he'd say "Because I love you" as an reason -- no, as an excuse for doing you favors. Realistically, you knew it'd only been a part of Donghae's carefree nature to say things like that in passing.
But you knew that he just as frequently used "Because you love me" as a reason for you to do favors for him, that there was no way his Because I love you's could have any dimensional meaning. But even though you knew quite clearly what you were supposed to believe, you couldn't help but to hope.
You hadn't been completely lying when you'd told Donghae that you only saw him as a friend. Because love was blind, after all. Because it was only your heart, the high hopes dangling in its depths, that saw Donghae as anything more.
You had been taken for quite the surprise when one day, before going to bed, Donghae had paused and frowned at you.
"Hyukkie," he'd said. "Do you not like me?"
You didn't know the proper response to give him. You knew he knew you liked him, because of a blunder you'd made months ago. And it was then you hated dual-connotations of words, because you hadn't been sure whether he meant if you didn't like him or if you didn't like him.
But what difference did the difference make? -- shouldn't the answer have been the same?
"Don't give me that puzzled look," Donghae snapped, stepping forward. And as your senses heightened, he said: "Here, watch." -- and once more he hugged you, as he'd done many times before, for a length that yet again made you question the initial verbal rejection you'd received....
Before you could muster any reaction, though, he'd pulled away.
"See," he'd said. "Like that."
And having been confused as to what had just happened you opened your mouth to protest, but before you could verbalize any of your confusion he'd placed a finger to your lips, effectively silencing you.
"Try again," he said, and once more he hugged you. And then, as he shook his head against your shoulder, he sighed.
"Hyukkie... this is the part where you hug me back."
Though there were many other responses you could have given in reply to Donghae's smart yet oh-so-very-Donghae remark, the only thing that came to mind had been the one thing against your case.
"Oh."
And to hush Donghae's laughter and to prove that you, in fact, liked Donghae despite his accusations, you made sure to squeez the living life out of him.
It had been then that you'd begun to accept the fact that Donghae wasn't intending on leaving you alone anytime soon, and with that mindset you ended the relationship -- for what it was worth, at least -- from being as one-sided as you'd been forcing it to be.
It was a rather unconventional love, if you wanted to call it that. You didn't seek clarification, but rather consolation. You didn't seek a confession, but rather a shoulder on which to lean. As long as he'd never leave you alone, you promised to yourself you'd never leave him either.
You'd given up trying to explain why his actions weren't aligning with the words that'd come out of his mouth months and months ago. Because it shook your grounds, because it destroyed your logic.
Besides, if it left Donghae grinning foolishly on your shoulder, you neither cared nor bothered to question it.
"Hyukkie," Donghae said to you one day as you leaned on his shoulder, while en route to your next concert. "If I wanted to kiss you, would I have to remind you of the part where you kiss me back?"
Your response, in the end, didn't really matter. Because any response you could've given him would've rewarded the hopes you set yourself to so long ago.
Because he would have kissed you anyway.
You had said it on a whim.
And in retrospect, maybe it had been for the better.
END
If you were curious, the unconventionality of the relationship was that neither man explicitly expressed his feelings... unless you count Hyukkie at the beginning. I think I may have deviated from my original theme.
Comments are love anyway? XD
I really liked my abstract summaries, since they seemed more mysterious and less plot-spoiling. But I suppose I should start making them more informative to the reader...? What do you all think?
Title: Unconventional
Pairing: Eunhae (#2)
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff?
Word Count: 1047
Summary: It was an unconventional sort of love, initiated by the lame excuse of a confession that Hyukjae regretted making. But maybe it hadn't been so bad.
Archive:: here
Unconventional
You had said it on a whim. And perhaps, in retrospect, you regretted having done so.
"Honestly, a long time ago, I sort of liked Donghae...."
The man's loud and surprised reaction had said it all. And while you had defended yourself, while you had lied to him, while you had reassured him that "Now you only thought of him as a friend," you'd learned how he'd really felt.
He wasn't interested.
Or so you thought, at least. Because though you'd heard the rejection loud and clear from his own mouth, his actions were hardly as convincing.
The filming itself had been bad enough, as contact with him had been necessarily and against your will. But at least then he'd been close to you because he, too, was required to. The light kisses (albeit on the cheek, whether that'd been a good thing or not), the rolling around in bed, the unnecessary skinship -- at least they'd all been part of the job description.
You wished you could say the same thing about fanservice. The way he would chase you around on stage, the way he'd sometimes wrap an arm or two around you, the way he'd grin madly at you every now and then, the way he'd lean into you. You wished you could say that had all been part of the job description -- hell, he himself had used the excuse.
But though you were quite certain he wasn't interested in you, you couldn't help but to feel as if you'd been mistaken. Even with the auditory evidence in hand, and even though you knew it was probably for the better if you accepted the truth and moved on, you couldn't help but to hope.
It might've been more convincing if Donghae were any different off the stage than on it. But while other members had dropped the acts when the cameras did too, Donghae had not.
"Stop it," you would say sometimes, perhaps on the tiring or gloomy days you hadn't been in the mood to put up with his antics. "Donghae, no one's watching, you can stop."
"But why?" he'd ask you with his trademark grin. "I thought you liked it."
And though you rejected his belief, you had to admit he'd been right.
Sometimes you wished you knew if Donghae meant it or not, the way he'd say "Because I love you" as an reason -- no, as an excuse for doing you favors. Realistically, you knew it'd only been a part of Donghae's carefree nature to say things like that in passing.
But you knew that he just as frequently used "Because you love me" as a reason for you to do favors for him, that there was no way his Because I love you's could have any dimensional meaning. But even though you knew quite clearly what you were supposed to believe, you couldn't help but to hope.
You hadn't been completely lying when you'd told Donghae that you only saw him as a friend. Because love was blind, after all. Because it was only your heart, the high hopes dangling in its depths, that saw Donghae as anything more.
You had been taken for quite the surprise when one day, before going to bed, Donghae had paused and frowned at you.
"Hyukkie," he'd said. "Do you not like me?"
You didn't know the proper response to give him. You knew he knew you liked him, because of a blunder you'd made months ago. And it was then you hated dual-connotations of words, because you hadn't been sure whether he meant if you didn't like him or if you didn't like him.
But what difference did the difference make? -- shouldn't the answer have been the same?
"Don't give me that puzzled look," Donghae snapped, stepping forward. And as your senses heightened, he said: "Here, watch." -- and once more he hugged you, as he'd done many times before, for a length that yet again made you question the initial verbal rejection you'd received....
Before you could muster any reaction, though, he'd pulled away.
"See," he'd said. "Like that."
And having been confused as to what had just happened you opened your mouth to protest, but before you could verbalize any of your confusion he'd placed a finger to your lips, effectively silencing you.
"Try again," he said, and once more he hugged you. And then, as he shook his head against your shoulder, he sighed.
"Hyukkie... this is the part where you hug me back."
Though there were many other responses you could have given in reply to Donghae's smart yet oh-so-very-Donghae remark, the only thing that came to mind had been the one thing against your case.
"Oh."
And to hush Donghae's laughter and to prove that you, in fact, liked Donghae despite his accusations, you made sure to squeez the living life out of him.
It had been then that you'd begun to accept the fact that Donghae wasn't intending on leaving you alone anytime soon, and with that mindset you ended the relationship -- for what it was worth, at least -- from being as one-sided as you'd been forcing it to be.
It was a rather unconventional love, if you wanted to call it that. You didn't seek clarification, but rather consolation. You didn't seek a confession, but rather a shoulder on which to lean. As long as he'd never leave you alone, you promised to yourself you'd never leave him either.
You'd given up trying to explain why his actions weren't aligning with the words that'd come out of his mouth months and months ago. Because it shook your grounds, because it destroyed your logic.
Besides, if it left Donghae grinning foolishly on your shoulder, you neither cared nor bothered to question it.
"Hyukkie," Donghae said to you one day as you leaned on his shoulder, while en route to your next concert. "If I wanted to kiss you, would I have to remind you of the part where you kiss me back?"
Your response, in the end, didn't really matter. Because any response you could've given him would've rewarded the hopes you set yourself to so long ago.
Because he would have kissed you anyway.
You had said it on a whim.
And in retrospect, maybe it had been for the better.
END
If you were curious, the unconventionality of the relationship was that neither man explicitly expressed his feelings... unless you count Hyukkie at the beginning. I think I may have deviated from my original theme.
Comments are love anyway? XD