New Fanfic - Just the way you are - Part 3
Final part 3 under the Cut
Title: Just the way you are
Author: Cam
Pairing: Jo/Blair
Rating: R - just to be on the safe side, mostly PG
Word count: 8551
Author's note: Beware - non-native English speaker's first-time femslash attempt - unbeta'd - inspired by Misty Flores' "Bright Lights" and Billy Joel's "Just the way you are"
SPOILER: This story takes place in the 9th season, around episode “Something in Common”
DISCLAIMER: The Facts of Life and its characters are the property of Columbia Pictures Television and Sony Pictures Television, no infringement intended. This was written solely for fun. No profit of any kind is being made from this.
Summary: What if it's Blair tying Jo's bow instead of Beverly-Ann in “Something in common”.
Chapter 3
“What do you want, Jo?” Blair had contemplated skipping out the back door once she had noticed Jo waiting outside of Herman's Bakery. She had decided against it, hoping that this confrontation would bring closure one way or other.
“I'd like to apologize and to talk with you, please, Blair.” The tone was halting and the apologetic look sincere but Blair was not inclined to give in easily.
“I don't quite see what more there is to talk. It seems everything has been said that needed to be said. You were very articulate about your sentiments.”
“I realize I deserve your ire and I can understand that you're hesitant to talk to me. But I am prepared to grovel, to throw myself in the dust at your feet, do what it takes to just get one more chance to straighten things out between us, to really talk. Please. For old time's sake. In the past couple of months I might have acted like it doesn't count, but our friendship means a lot to me, Blair.”
Blair knew what this statement probably had cost Jo. It was completely out of character for her to admit her mistakes and to outright beg for a chance of, what exactly, reconciliation? It wouldn't do to get her hopes up only to get them shattered later like it had happened the night before, therefore the blonde kept her voice devoid of any emotion.
“Fine, we'll talk, but not know. I have classes. I'll come by the house tonight to get some more of my things, we can have that conversation then.”
Jo was prudent enough not to press her luck or bring up the sore point of Blair moving out. Perhaps she could persuade her friend to stay.
“See you then, and, thank you, Blair, I appreciate this.”
***
It wasn't without apprehension that Blair entered the room she shared with Jo. Tonight's outcome would decide whether it would be her room for much longer. For a brief moment Blair considered knocking but after taking a cleansing, deep breath she turned the knob and entered.
Jo was laying on her bed contemplating how she wanted the conversation with her best friend to go. She still considered the blonde to be her best friend but could only guess what Blair's thoughts on this subject were, especially after Jo had acted like a complete jerk. When the doorknob turned she slowly shifted into a sitting position at the edge of her bed realizing that the room's two level outline was not really cut to accommodate a serious discussion.
“Hi, thanks for coming.”
“I promised I would, didn't I?”
“Yeah, right, thanks anyway. I am not sure about the logistics of this conversation, though, would you like to come sit beside me our should we sit around your desk?”
“No, this is okay, stay were you are and I just sit on my bed.”
“If you're sure, it's kind of weird me looking down on you.”
“For heaven's sake Jo, I couldn't care less if you were swinging from the ceiling, as long as we can talk like adults.”
“Ouch. Talk it is then,” Jo began fidgeting with her sleeves a sure sign she was nervous as hell, but she continued: “so you're a lesbian.”
Blair realized her attempt at levity had hurt the brunette and she moved from her bed to sit beside Jo. She was rewarded with one of Jo's sheepish smiles Blair had long ago learned to decipher as the brunette's way of saying thank you when her pride wouldn't allow her to voice the words out loud.
“Yes, I am,” Blair said, “and we can discuss that later, but first I would like to know what's up with you, always brooding, always keeping to yourself?”
Jo had had enough time by then to contemplate this question, knowing that it would be raised. Although she herself had not paid much attention to how her behavior must have looked to others. But after the various statements her friends had made over the last twenty-four hours, she now had a pretty good idea that they must have found it odd to say the least.
“I don't know. I guess I was unhappy of what has become of my life, still am really. I thought social work was my vocation. I was so sure, took me only three month to realize I cannot go on like this, though. I've never had to question my choices before and it scares me. What should I do next, what are my options. Frankly I am done with academia I can't stand the thought of having to endure lectures above endless lectures so that's definitely out. I still want to be able to help, to make life better for those who cannot do that of their own volition. That's why joining the police would seem a good choice, but is it the right one?” Jo fell silent.
“Haven't you made your mind up about that? The next entry test is next week isn't it?”
“Yeah, how do you know”
“Jo, when you declared your decision the other day, I knew you had your mind made up and I did a bit of research.”
“Perhaps I won't take that test, Blair. It's not an easy decision to make. What if I realize again that this isn't what I want. I can't take that risk, I have a feeling I don't have any more shots left. I need to be absolutely one hundred percent sure, since everyone else seems to think this is a really bad decision. I can't get my head around it and that's why I haven't been paying much attention to what has been going on around here.”
“Okay, I accept your reasoning but that doesn't explain why you have been so aloof around me. I'm your friend why didn't you confide in me. I'm sorry when I made fun of you with that fashion statement, you should know me better than to take such a remark seriously. Instead you avoid me. Brushing me aside every time I try to discuss your choice with you. Help me understand why you felt the need to retreat from our friendship to the point of estrangement, because it hurts.”
With that Blair stood up from her position next to Jo and went to look out the window, too afraid of what might come next. After her confession she felt exposed. Had she said too much, revealed too much about her innermost feelings? She needed to put some distance between herself and the woman she had yet to learn to fall out of love with and who could hurt her more than anyone else.
“We're friends now, but for how much longer,” Jo murmured, Blair having to strain to hear every hesitatingly uttered syllable. Blair felt sick to her stomach at the implied rejection. So, this was indeed it, Jo hated her. Before she had gathered the strength to ask the brunette to elaborate, Jo continued, now in a stronger voice, “it's stupid, I know. It was something my mother said to me about our future lives. That we would both move on and there would be no time or place for our friendship.”
Blair let out the breath she'd been unconsciously holding, making a strangled sound in the back of her throat. She turned away from the window, facing her friend.
“I am not surprised that your mother thinks I am that shallow. But you know me Jo, you have to know I would never give up on you. Our friendship means a lot to me.”
“Yeah, I guess I just didn't think. Our friendship means the world to me too. But I couldn't help wondering, what if she's right and you'll move on and forget all about me, the Bronx barbarian.”
Blair released a relieved chuckle at that.
“Well at least you mother is not the only one who thinks I am that fickle in my decisions. I guess that's the reason my father cut me off.
“What exactly do you mean, he cut you off?” Jo stood up to stand beside Blair, looking at her profile.
After having been denied the brunette's full attention for so long, Blair felt the intensity of Jo's scrutiny like a caress on her face. She couldn't stop the blush that crept over her face and turned around to face the window again, feeling a slight breeze cooling her skin through the small opening.
“Just that, he says he won't pay my expanses for three months because he expects it will help me to think clearer and to give up on this idea of being gay, which he thinks is just my way of revolting against the establishment by which he means him. He has also closed my accounts. That's why I have been working at the bakery.
“Can he do that? You are of age and it is your money.”
“Yes, but it really isn't worth fighting over. He'll realize I am serious. That this is something I have no choice over really. It's not that he objected to me being a lesbian just that he thought I only said it to make him angry, get back at him for all the times he wasn't there for me.”
“I am sorry, Blair, is there anything I can do?” Jo mirrored the action of her friend and turned to look outside.
“No, it'll be fine. Besides I could always ask my mother for money but she's abroad now so I haven't yet told her. I didn't want to do that on the phone.” They fell silent for a moment watching the last remains of daylight fading away casting the garden beneath in long shadows.
“Uhmm, Blair, I know we have not yet really talked about you being a lesbian and all that and I hope we do, but if you want me to accompany you when you come out to your mother, I will, okay?”
Blair had to blink away the tears that were beginning to form and around a knot of emotions she managed to say. “Thanks Jo, that is really sweet of you. Perhaps I'll take you up on your offer.” Feeling stronger now that all her fears about Jo rejecting their friendship because of Blair's confession had been dissolved, she continued in a stronger voice, turning to look at Jo, “This sounds more like you, facing trouble head on. Why are you having a hard time sticking to your decision of taking that test and joining the Police? What happened to the cocksure, headstrong, Joanna Marie Polniaczek, who will not be dictated or pressurized by anyone to do anything she doesn't want to. It's not like you to be indecisive.”
“What if I am wrong?”
“What if you're not, if you are, you move on, like you're trying to do now. It's not as if you have to support a family of your own. You don't have any children to provide for now, do you?” Blair suddenly got a sagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, what if...
Sensing her friend's distress, Jo hastily blurted, “No, no children on the horizon so far. Not planning on any anytime soon either. But my parents want what's best for me and they think becoming a police officer isn't”
“But that's so not you since when do you let others think for you. Will you also let them live your life for you, Jo? Trust me, if this is what you really want, your parents will come around eventually and approve of your choice.”
Jo shrugged, her face a picture of doubt. Her head buzzing with Blair's arguments. The blonde's unconditional support had been quite unexpected. Perhaps it wasn't a bad decision after all. Jo felt some of the strain drain away and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity she relaxed. Taking a deep breath her senses seemed to go into overdrive. She noticed the freshness of the air coming through the slit in the window, mixed with the faint and familiar scent of Blair's perfume, the colors of the garden in full bloom, cast in reds as the sun began to set, the bone deep tiredness of her mind and body which had not really come to rest since she had started contemplating becoming a police officer. Another urge asserted itself as Jo's stomach began to growl.
Both women looked at each other before they both started laughing. This felt good, this felt normal.
“Want to grab a bite somewhere and perhaps we can talk a little more?” Jo asked.
“Yes,” Blair answered, grabbing Jo's wrist as the brunette began to move away towards the door,”friends again?”
“Yeah, friends.” Jo answered simply moving towards Blair engulfing her best friend in a tight embrace.
Blair returned the hug, reveling in the pleasant sensation, relief on the outcome of their conversation washing over her.
Jo marveled at the sensations cursing through her body. It had been so long since she had hugged Blair like this, recalling their goodbyes before she left for Malibu. The familiarity of this felt good and at the same time strangely unsettling. Suddenly Jo remembered that this uneasiness around Blair had also been part of the reason to avoid her friend. Flustered, she recalled the last time she had been nearly as close to Blair, it had been on the night of that stupid reverse dress up party. Blair's hands on her, under her chin had felt both familiar and confusing. Hadn't the blonde also looked unsettled after they broke contact? More and more details from that encounter came rushing back. Not breaking their contact Jo asked: “What did you say after you tied the bow?”
Blair leaned back to take a look at Jo not breaking the embrace, “You don't remember?”
“No, I didn't hear your words, I was kind of in a world of my own. I remember you blushing. What was it? A diatribe on how fitting I looked in man's clothes?” Jo was getting into this conversation, just like old times, trading baits, trying to get a rise out of the other, teasing. Almost like flirting, almost, wait, what was she thinking, this was Blair, her best friend, her gay, best friend...
“You really want to know?” Blair stepped away from their embrace but still faced the brunette who seemed to have a good time teasing her.
“Yeah, come on you want to tell me, I can see it, dish out the insult, I can take it.”
“It wasn't an insult per se, but you might be insulted by it.”
“Come on Blair, spill it.”
“Don't say I didn't warn you, what has been heard, can't be unheard.”
“Do I have to pull it out of you?”
“It was a compliment, that's the sad truth nothing to write home about, are you satisfied now.”
“A compliment? Must have been some compliment having you blushing like that.”
“I did not blush.”
“Did too.”
“You are such a child, Jo.”
“Am not.”
“Stop it. I will tell you the sordid truth. I said, you looked dashing and that I wouldn't mind going out with you.”
Jo's smile was blinding, “You wouldn't mind going out with me, huh?”
“No, you should know this by now, Jo, I wouldn't mind going out with you or taking you to any fancy party my mother throws. You have come a long way from deserving any of my insults about you being a Neanderthal, Bronx Barbarian or Mr Goodwrench. You have grown so much these past 5 years, you are educated, caring, who wouldn't want you as a dinner companion? But what I don't understand is why with every new accomplishment you seem to loose something of the typical Jo attitude. Where is your self esteem, your righteousness, your disregard of how others might perceive you, that old you, who would demand her place in the world and fight for it.”
“Oh, Blair can we not stick to the fluff part of this conversation? I was just starting to have a good time again, which hasn't happened in the last couple of month and now you are beginning to sound like everyone else. What has become of you? Who are you? I do not recognize you anymore...? Nag, nag, nag. What do you expect from me, Blair?”
“Nothing Jo. I've never expected anything from you, I have never been in any position to have any demands over your life. What I expect from you is for you to be you, to grab your life and do what you want to do with it, to excel at what you do. For god's sake Jo, stop doing what you believe others would want from your life, just decide for yourself. Whatever you decide, I will always support you. You are capable of so much. But you have to determine what you want, you have to take the next step.”
The next step, if only it was that simple. One step at a time, could it really be that easy.
Jo was caught off guard by an overwhelming feeling of tenderness towards Blair and with lightning clarity she understood which step she desperately wanted, no, needed to take first.
Closing the gap between them she leaned in and kissed the blonde on the mouth but before she could get a good taste, Blair's hands were against her shoulders shoving her back.
“What do you think, you're doing, Jo?”
“What I should have done a long time ago.”
“If this is your idea of a joke, this isn't funny.”
“Shut up Blair.” Jo silenced any further protests with her lips.
This felt so right, Jo couldn't believe she hadn't thought of this before. They were a perfect fit, not only in character but physically. It was nice to kiss someone of your own height, no awkward bending or stretching. She relished the taste of Blair's lips, the softness, the texture. She was fast getting drunk and addicted. When they came up for air, Jo leaned her forehead against Blair's. For the first time close enough to admire the gold and green flecks which were barely visible besides the dilated pupils of the blonde's brown eyes.
“Are you sure about this, Jo?”
“Yes, more than anything else.” A flicker of doubt entered Jo's mind encompassing her heart in a cold, vise-like grip. “I mean, if this is okay with you, that is. I'm sorry, Blair, I shouldn't have assumed you would be wanting this, us. There is someone else, isn't there, I'm too la...” She was stopped by a finger on her lips.
“Shh, don't you know by now Joanna Maria Polniaczek that there is no one and nothing more alluring to me than you, aggravating at times but alluring. This is more than I could have wished for. I have wanted this for so long. Now stop the talking and kiss me again, Jo.”
Jo was more than happy to comply. Connecting their lips once again and slowly deepening the kiss, she poured everything she was into this contact, feeling the same from Blair. With this kiss they physically sealed the bond their friendship had forged long ago. Opening their minds and souls to one another without reserve, finally coming home to each other.
They would be okay, everything would turn out to be okay. Jo would take the test, she would convince her parents and everyone else she was doing the right thing. If they loved her, they would come to terms with her decision and who might tell, in time, they might even come to terms with her decision to love Blair.
Billy Joel - Just The Way You Are lyrics
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.
Title: Just the way you are
Author: Cam
Pairing: Jo/Blair
Rating: R - just to be on the safe side, mostly PG
Word count: 8551
Author's note: Beware - non-native English speaker's first-time femslash attempt - unbeta'd - inspired by Misty Flores' "Bright Lights" and Billy Joel's "Just the way you are"
SPOILER: This story takes place in the 9th season, around episode “Something in Common”
DISCLAIMER: The Facts of Life and its characters are the property of Columbia Pictures Television and Sony Pictures Television, no infringement intended. This was written solely for fun. No profit of any kind is being made from this.
Summary: What if it's Blair tying Jo's bow instead of Beverly-Ann in “Something in common”.
Chapter 3
“What do you want, Jo?” Blair had contemplated skipping out the back door once she had noticed Jo waiting outside of Herman's Bakery. She had decided against it, hoping that this confrontation would bring closure one way or other.
“I'd like to apologize and to talk with you, please, Blair.” The tone was halting and the apologetic look sincere but Blair was not inclined to give in easily.
“I don't quite see what more there is to talk. It seems everything has been said that needed to be said. You were very articulate about your sentiments.”
“I realize I deserve your ire and I can understand that you're hesitant to talk to me. But I am prepared to grovel, to throw myself in the dust at your feet, do what it takes to just get one more chance to straighten things out between us, to really talk. Please. For old time's sake. In the past couple of months I might have acted like it doesn't count, but our friendship means a lot to me, Blair.”
Blair knew what this statement probably had cost Jo. It was completely out of character for her to admit her mistakes and to outright beg for a chance of, what exactly, reconciliation? It wouldn't do to get her hopes up only to get them shattered later like it had happened the night before, therefore the blonde kept her voice devoid of any emotion.
“Fine, we'll talk, but not know. I have classes. I'll come by the house tonight to get some more of my things, we can have that conversation then.”
Jo was prudent enough not to press her luck or bring up the sore point of Blair moving out. Perhaps she could persuade her friend to stay.
“See you then, and, thank you, Blair, I appreciate this.”
***
It wasn't without apprehension that Blair entered the room she shared with Jo. Tonight's outcome would decide whether it would be her room for much longer. For a brief moment Blair considered knocking but after taking a cleansing, deep breath she turned the knob and entered.
Jo was laying on her bed contemplating how she wanted the conversation with her best friend to go. She still considered the blonde to be her best friend but could only guess what Blair's thoughts on this subject were, especially after Jo had acted like a complete jerk. When the doorknob turned she slowly shifted into a sitting position at the edge of her bed realizing that the room's two level outline was not really cut to accommodate a serious discussion.
“Hi, thanks for coming.”
“I promised I would, didn't I?”
“Yeah, right, thanks anyway. I am not sure about the logistics of this conversation, though, would you like to come sit beside me our should we sit around your desk?”
“No, this is okay, stay were you are and I just sit on my bed.”
“If you're sure, it's kind of weird me looking down on you.”
“For heaven's sake Jo, I couldn't care less if you were swinging from the ceiling, as long as we can talk like adults.”
“Ouch. Talk it is then,” Jo began fidgeting with her sleeves a sure sign she was nervous as hell, but she continued: “so you're a lesbian.”
Blair realized her attempt at levity had hurt the brunette and she moved from her bed to sit beside Jo. She was rewarded with one of Jo's sheepish smiles Blair had long ago learned to decipher as the brunette's way of saying thank you when her pride wouldn't allow her to voice the words out loud.
“Yes, I am,” Blair said, “and we can discuss that later, but first I would like to know what's up with you, always brooding, always keeping to yourself?”
Jo had had enough time by then to contemplate this question, knowing that it would be raised. Although she herself had not paid much attention to how her behavior must have looked to others. But after the various statements her friends had made over the last twenty-four hours, she now had a pretty good idea that they must have found it odd to say the least.
“I don't know. I guess I was unhappy of what has become of my life, still am really. I thought social work was my vocation. I was so sure, took me only three month to realize I cannot go on like this, though. I've never had to question my choices before and it scares me. What should I do next, what are my options. Frankly I am done with academia I can't stand the thought of having to endure lectures above endless lectures so that's definitely out. I still want to be able to help, to make life better for those who cannot do that of their own volition. That's why joining the police would seem a good choice, but is it the right one?” Jo fell silent.
“Haven't you made your mind up about that? The next entry test is next week isn't it?”
“Yeah, how do you know”
“Jo, when you declared your decision the other day, I knew you had your mind made up and I did a bit of research.”
“Perhaps I won't take that test, Blair. It's not an easy decision to make. What if I realize again that this isn't what I want. I can't take that risk, I have a feeling I don't have any more shots left. I need to be absolutely one hundred percent sure, since everyone else seems to think this is a really bad decision. I can't get my head around it and that's why I haven't been paying much attention to what has been going on around here.”
“Okay, I accept your reasoning but that doesn't explain why you have been so aloof around me. I'm your friend why didn't you confide in me. I'm sorry when I made fun of you with that fashion statement, you should know me better than to take such a remark seriously. Instead you avoid me. Brushing me aside every time I try to discuss your choice with you. Help me understand why you felt the need to retreat from our friendship to the point of estrangement, because it hurts.”
With that Blair stood up from her position next to Jo and went to look out the window, too afraid of what might come next. After her confession she felt exposed. Had she said too much, revealed too much about her innermost feelings? She needed to put some distance between herself and the woman she had yet to learn to fall out of love with and who could hurt her more than anyone else.
“We're friends now, but for how much longer,” Jo murmured, Blair having to strain to hear every hesitatingly uttered syllable. Blair felt sick to her stomach at the implied rejection. So, this was indeed it, Jo hated her. Before she had gathered the strength to ask the brunette to elaborate, Jo continued, now in a stronger voice, “it's stupid, I know. It was something my mother said to me about our future lives. That we would both move on and there would be no time or place for our friendship.”
Blair let out the breath she'd been unconsciously holding, making a strangled sound in the back of her throat. She turned away from the window, facing her friend.
“I am not surprised that your mother thinks I am that shallow. But you know me Jo, you have to know I would never give up on you. Our friendship means a lot to me.”
“Yeah, I guess I just didn't think. Our friendship means the world to me too. But I couldn't help wondering, what if she's right and you'll move on and forget all about me, the Bronx barbarian.”
Blair released a relieved chuckle at that.
“Well at least you mother is not the only one who thinks I am that fickle in my decisions. I guess that's the reason my father cut me off.
“What exactly do you mean, he cut you off?” Jo stood up to stand beside Blair, looking at her profile.
After having been denied the brunette's full attention for so long, Blair felt the intensity of Jo's scrutiny like a caress on her face. She couldn't stop the blush that crept over her face and turned around to face the window again, feeling a slight breeze cooling her skin through the small opening.
“Just that, he says he won't pay my expanses for three months because he expects it will help me to think clearer and to give up on this idea of being gay, which he thinks is just my way of revolting against the establishment by which he means him. He has also closed my accounts. That's why I have been working at the bakery.
“Can he do that? You are of age and it is your money.”
“Yes, but it really isn't worth fighting over. He'll realize I am serious. That this is something I have no choice over really. It's not that he objected to me being a lesbian just that he thought I only said it to make him angry, get back at him for all the times he wasn't there for me.”
“I am sorry, Blair, is there anything I can do?” Jo mirrored the action of her friend and turned to look outside.
“No, it'll be fine. Besides I could always ask my mother for money but she's abroad now so I haven't yet told her. I didn't want to do that on the phone.” They fell silent for a moment watching the last remains of daylight fading away casting the garden beneath in long shadows.
“Uhmm, Blair, I know we have not yet really talked about you being a lesbian and all that and I hope we do, but if you want me to accompany you when you come out to your mother, I will, okay?”
Blair had to blink away the tears that were beginning to form and around a knot of emotions she managed to say. “Thanks Jo, that is really sweet of you. Perhaps I'll take you up on your offer.” Feeling stronger now that all her fears about Jo rejecting their friendship because of Blair's confession had been dissolved, she continued in a stronger voice, turning to look at Jo, “This sounds more like you, facing trouble head on. Why are you having a hard time sticking to your decision of taking that test and joining the Police? What happened to the cocksure, headstrong, Joanna Marie Polniaczek, who will not be dictated or pressurized by anyone to do anything she doesn't want to. It's not like you to be indecisive.”
“What if I am wrong?”
“What if you're not, if you are, you move on, like you're trying to do now. It's not as if you have to support a family of your own. You don't have any children to provide for now, do you?” Blair suddenly got a sagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, what if...
Sensing her friend's distress, Jo hastily blurted, “No, no children on the horizon so far. Not planning on any anytime soon either. But my parents want what's best for me and they think becoming a police officer isn't”
“But that's so not you since when do you let others think for you. Will you also let them live your life for you, Jo? Trust me, if this is what you really want, your parents will come around eventually and approve of your choice.”
Jo shrugged, her face a picture of doubt. Her head buzzing with Blair's arguments. The blonde's unconditional support had been quite unexpected. Perhaps it wasn't a bad decision after all. Jo felt some of the strain drain away and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity she relaxed. Taking a deep breath her senses seemed to go into overdrive. She noticed the freshness of the air coming through the slit in the window, mixed with the faint and familiar scent of Blair's perfume, the colors of the garden in full bloom, cast in reds as the sun began to set, the bone deep tiredness of her mind and body which had not really come to rest since she had started contemplating becoming a police officer. Another urge asserted itself as Jo's stomach began to growl.
Both women looked at each other before they both started laughing. This felt good, this felt normal.
“Want to grab a bite somewhere and perhaps we can talk a little more?” Jo asked.
“Yes,” Blair answered, grabbing Jo's wrist as the brunette began to move away towards the door,”friends again?”
“Yeah, friends.” Jo answered simply moving towards Blair engulfing her best friend in a tight embrace.
Blair returned the hug, reveling in the pleasant sensation, relief on the outcome of their conversation washing over her.
Jo marveled at the sensations cursing through her body. It had been so long since she had hugged Blair like this, recalling their goodbyes before she left for Malibu. The familiarity of this felt good and at the same time strangely unsettling. Suddenly Jo remembered that this uneasiness around Blair had also been part of the reason to avoid her friend. Flustered, she recalled the last time she had been nearly as close to Blair, it had been on the night of that stupid reverse dress up party. Blair's hands on her, under her chin had felt both familiar and confusing. Hadn't the blonde also looked unsettled after they broke contact? More and more details from that encounter came rushing back. Not breaking their contact Jo asked: “What did you say after you tied the bow?”
Blair leaned back to take a look at Jo not breaking the embrace, “You don't remember?”
“No, I didn't hear your words, I was kind of in a world of my own. I remember you blushing. What was it? A diatribe on how fitting I looked in man's clothes?” Jo was getting into this conversation, just like old times, trading baits, trying to get a rise out of the other, teasing. Almost like flirting, almost, wait, what was she thinking, this was Blair, her best friend, her gay, best friend...
“You really want to know?” Blair stepped away from their embrace but still faced the brunette who seemed to have a good time teasing her.
“Yeah, come on you want to tell me, I can see it, dish out the insult, I can take it.”
“It wasn't an insult per se, but you might be insulted by it.”
“Come on Blair, spill it.”
“Don't say I didn't warn you, what has been heard, can't be unheard.”
“Do I have to pull it out of you?”
“It was a compliment, that's the sad truth nothing to write home about, are you satisfied now.”
“A compliment? Must have been some compliment having you blushing like that.”
“I did not blush.”
“Did too.”
“You are such a child, Jo.”
“Am not.”
“Stop it. I will tell you the sordid truth. I said, you looked dashing and that I wouldn't mind going out with you.”
Jo's smile was blinding, “You wouldn't mind going out with me, huh?”
“No, you should know this by now, Jo, I wouldn't mind going out with you or taking you to any fancy party my mother throws. You have come a long way from deserving any of my insults about you being a Neanderthal, Bronx Barbarian or Mr Goodwrench. You have grown so much these past 5 years, you are educated, caring, who wouldn't want you as a dinner companion? But what I don't understand is why with every new accomplishment you seem to loose something of the typical Jo attitude. Where is your self esteem, your righteousness, your disregard of how others might perceive you, that old you, who would demand her place in the world and fight for it.”
“Oh, Blair can we not stick to the fluff part of this conversation? I was just starting to have a good time again, which hasn't happened in the last couple of month and now you are beginning to sound like everyone else. What has become of you? Who are you? I do not recognize you anymore...? Nag, nag, nag. What do you expect from me, Blair?”
“Nothing Jo. I've never expected anything from you, I have never been in any position to have any demands over your life. What I expect from you is for you to be you, to grab your life and do what you want to do with it, to excel at what you do. For god's sake Jo, stop doing what you believe others would want from your life, just decide for yourself. Whatever you decide, I will always support you. You are capable of so much. But you have to determine what you want, you have to take the next step.”
The next step, if only it was that simple. One step at a time, could it really be that easy.
Jo was caught off guard by an overwhelming feeling of tenderness towards Blair and with lightning clarity she understood which step she desperately wanted, no, needed to take first.
Closing the gap between them she leaned in and kissed the blonde on the mouth but before she could get a good taste, Blair's hands were against her shoulders shoving her back.
“What do you think, you're doing, Jo?”
“What I should have done a long time ago.”
“If this is your idea of a joke, this isn't funny.”
“Shut up Blair.” Jo silenced any further protests with her lips.
This felt so right, Jo couldn't believe she hadn't thought of this before. They were a perfect fit, not only in character but physically. It was nice to kiss someone of your own height, no awkward bending or stretching. She relished the taste of Blair's lips, the softness, the texture. She was fast getting drunk and addicted. When they came up for air, Jo leaned her forehead against Blair's. For the first time close enough to admire the gold and green flecks which were barely visible besides the dilated pupils of the blonde's brown eyes.
“Are you sure about this, Jo?”
“Yes, more than anything else.” A flicker of doubt entered Jo's mind encompassing her heart in a cold, vise-like grip. “I mean, if this is okay with you, that is. I'm sorry, Blair, I shouldn't have assumed you would be wanting this, us. There is someone else, isn't there, I'm too la...” She was stopped by a finger on her lips.
“Shh, don't you know by now Joanna Maria Polniaczek that there is no one and nothing more alluring to me than you, aggravating at times but alluring. This is more than I could have wished for. I have wanted this for so long. Now stop the talking and kiss me again, Jo.”
Jo was more than happy to comply. Connecting their lips once again and slowly deepening the kiss, she poured everything she was into this contact, feeling the same from Blair. With this kiss they physically sealed the bond their friendship had forged long ago. Opening their minds and souls to one another without reserve, finally coming home to each other.
They would be okay, everything would turn out to be okay. Jo would take the test, she would convince her parents and everyone else she was doing the right thing. If they loved her, they would come to terms with her decision and who might tell, in time, they might even come to terms with her decision to love Blair.
Billy Joel - Just The Way You Are lyrics
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.