ACITW AU CH27
A/N: So this is the entire chapter 27 - shocking, I know. It's short. I consider it a segue chapter. This leads us to the next chapter when the Smythe family shows up, and things change. I hope you enjoy. <3 This chapter also includes a prompt sent to me by several people on tumblr, hoping to see Sebastian's reaction when he finds that #47 has been crossed off Kurt's bucket list, thinking that Kurt and Blaine had done it before he and Kurt did.
Over the course of the night and into the early morning, most of the candles in the house burn themselves out, and the ones on the porch get extinguished by the wind. But inside the tent, a different, stronger fire simmers. It smolders at all points where Kurt and Sebastian touch, where their bodies press together or their limbs intertwine. They sleep at peace this way, sharing one another’s warmth, the beating of their hearts keeping close pace - sometimes together, sometimes with one an echo behind.
Sebastian sleeps deeply, his mind wandering to a place where truth muddies and reality becomes unclear. A place where even his own brain betrays him. Before dawn, Sebastian’s eyes snap open and he wakes with a start, his breath racing along with his pulse.
Trapped in the darkness, his eyes and ears struggling to wake seconds after he does, he thinks it was a dream - all of it. Hungover from excitement and adrenaline, he’s sure he’s woken up God knows where, sleeping beside God knows who, and his night with Kurt - his amazing, romantic first time with Kurt - will turn out to be just a figment of alcohol and weed (or maybe something stronger). It will dissolve into the ether, the way those dreams of Kurt always do. He blinks his eyes and looks around, trying to figure out why he’s sleeping in a tent, and who the person is wrapped around him, whose hair against his cheek feels like silk, and whose skin smells like vanilla. He hears a tiny whimper as the body twines itself tighter, and Sebastian’s heart begins to relax.
Because maybe Sebastian’s brain hasn’t added up the pieces yet, but his heart knows that voice. Its vocal signature is written on Sebastian’s skin, straight through the layers of muscle and tissue, imprinting on the bones underneath.
It’s Kurt, Sebastian realizes. He’s here.
“Kurt?” Sebastian whispers. He feels like a heel for waking him up, but he needs to hear Kurt’s voice. He needs to hear Kurt say his name just once, so he can be sure.
The voice hums in response, and Sebastian’s body calms further, bringing his breathing under control.
“Mmm, Sebastian?” Kurt murmurs, placing a small peck on Sebastian’s chest over his heart. “Sebastian, baby, what is it? Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian says, running shaky fingers through Kurt’s hair. “Yeah, I…”
“Did you have a bad dream?” Kurt lifts his head, blinking eyelids so heavy they don’t even open.
“Yeah,” Sebastian answers. “I think I did, but…it’s over now. I’m…I’m okay.”
“Do you (yawn)…do you want to talk about it?”
“I…” Sebastian considers it, but what is he really going to say? I’ve dreamt of making love to you many times? And all those times, when it turned out to be only a dream, I’d find myself alone, or high, or with someone else, and it broke pieces of me?
Would Kurt believe him? Could Kurt believe that, after everything Sebastian’s done to him?
Maybe Sebastian can come up with something close - touch on the truth without venturing too far into it, describe the emotion without pinpointing a source. He knows Kurt wouldn’t judge him. He knows that Kurt would sympathize but…it’s too big a secret for Sebastian to admit. Sometimes it sounds farfetched even to himself.
Does he confess here, now, what holds him back from being the person he is when he’s around Kurt? What his mother meant by his sleeping around being ‘emotionally damaging’?
Or that asking Kurt to pretend to be his boyfriend wasn’t exactly necessary? That he had other options?
Sebastian cards Kurt’s hair, thinking of all the ways this might play out if he owned up to any of it.
“Sebastian?” Kurt says, sounding more awake, and a voice in Sebastian’s head says don’t. Not now.
“Maybe later?” Sebastian answers. “I’m still really tired.”
Sebastian feels Kurt breathe in, and then it hitch as he prepares to argue, but he lets it go.
“M’kay,” Kurt says. “Go back to sleep.”
Sebastian nods with a choked off laugh of relief that hides what had started as a sob.
“I will,” Sebastian sniffles. “I’m sorry I woke you, babe.”
“Mmm…” Kurt nods, muttering, words getting lost in the translation from sleep to awake, “it’s okay, ‘bastian. I’m here. (yawn) I love you. I’m…” Kurt snores softly, returning to sleep, and Sebastian sighs. Here, with Kurt in his arms, Sebastian doesn’t feel quite so wrong anymore. He doesn’t feel aimless, like he’s being carried away beyond his control. He settles beneath Kurt’s body, pulling the blanket tight around them. He buries his nose in Kurt’s hair and breathes in deep. He has him. Sebastian finally has Kurt.
Now all he has to do is figure out a way to never lose him.
When the sun rises hours later, it brings with it a light veil of morning mist, which, drop by drop over the ocean, turns into another summer storm - only this one sings against the beach house instead of wails, spattering the tent set up on the porch with gentle taps and shoves. Kurt and Sebastian greet the rain with moans, and whispered sentiments of love and affection.
Kurt wakes Sebastian this time around with a second attempt at a blow job. He doesn’t falter again, doesn’t let ancient history get in the way of enjoying this. When he slips down Sebastian’s body and wraps his lips around his cock, he spares not a single thought for the boys of Sebastian Smythe’s past. Kurt sees only his boyfriend’s beautiful body, which Kurt has permission to touch and bite and kiss any way he pleases.
Sebastian rambles as he wakes, moaning Kurt’s name more than anything, running trembling fingers through Kurt’s hair, hooking his fingers in when Kurt sucks particularly hard. Sebastian’s skin tastes like sweat and he smells like sex. It’s an electrifying combination.
Kurt’s hands crawl up Sebastian’s torso to his chest and Sebastian grabs hold. Kurt loves this, loves that this is a thing for them. He loves that no matter what they’re doing, no matter where they are, Sebastian always searches for his hand to hold.
If Sebastian needs him, if Sebastian looks for him, he’ll find him.
Taking Sebastian’s hands is an unspoken promise that Kurt will be there.
Kurt sucks slowly, pulls gently, until his boyfriend writhes against the blanket, digging his heels into the floor of the tent and carefully bucking his hips, only shallowly fucking Kurt’s mouth.
“Kurt…my God, Kurt…” he moans. “Viens… viens ici…j’ai besoin de toi…Kurt…please…I need you now…”
Kurt doesn’t let him go easily, and Sebastian doesn’t push him away. How can he, when this is the realization of so many fantasies?
Sebastian begs a little harder, and Kurt finally pulls off him, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes. They’re almost unrecognizable in the dawning light, but Kurt would know them anywhere.
“But I want to know how you taste,” Kurt pouts, and Sebastian moans at the delicious thought of cumming down the tight, warm sheath of Kurt’s throat, coaxed there by his talented tongue.
“Oh, God…” Sebastian thinks about it a second more, then shakes his head. “A-another time. Please, Kurt. I want you.”
Kurt makes Sebastian suffer a few seconds more before he relents, rising to his hands and knees. Sebastian grabs him by the waist, spinning him around and pinning him down to the blanket. Kurt yelps in surprise, but Sebastian kisses that squeak away, padding down the pillows frantically in search of the bottle of lube. Finding it, opening it, and coating his fingers all happens with his mouth on Kurt’s, kissing him breathless. Kurt feels Sebastian’s hand reach between his legs and he opens up for him, spreading his knees wide and rising up an inch so Sebastian’s fingers can find his entrance. Sebastian is not quite as gentle as he was earlier, but that suits Kurt fine. Kurt is beyond foreplay at this point, the build-up between them having developed over hours with their naked bodies pressed against each other.
That bliss was broken momentarily when Sebastian startled Kurt awake; when he woke up calling out Kurt’s name. Kurt knew Sebastian had to have had a nightmare the way he was whimpering and sniffling. Kurt didn’t make a big deal of it at the time. He didn’t want to embarrass Sebastian. He wanted to help his boyfriend, but he was willing to wait for Sebastian to come to him, to ask for help on his own terms. So Kurt held Sebastian tight and let him know he was there.
No matter what, Kurt would be there.
After Kurt managed to fall back to sleep, all he could think of was Sebastian making love to him, laying him bare beneath him and having him until he got his fill of him.
So he’ll let Sebastian open him up again, but this time, Sebastian knows Kurt’s secrets. He knows where to touch, and how hard to touch to make Kurt’s eyes roll and his toes curl.
He knows how to make Kurt cum, crying his name.
Sebastian kisses Kurt, slower now that he has his fingers inside him, brushing over him gently and swallowing every whimper that slips past his lips.
“Tell me you want me,” Sebastian whispers, taking Kurt’s lower lip into his mouth and nibbling on it.
“I want you,” Kurt sighs.
Kurt looks up into Sebastian’s eyes, the smile on Sebastian’s face twisting into a playful smirk.
“Tell me…you want me…” Sebastian says again, more commanding, his smirk morphing from playful to positively wicked. Kurt opens his mouth to repeat what he said, exactly the way he said it, but Sebastian shakes his head, and Kurt doesn’t understand. Then Sebastian does something underhanded. With two fingers together, he finds that spot that makes Kurt whimper and rubs it, massaging in fast, small circles until Kurt’s body threatens to implode.
“Sebastian! I…uh…” Kurt squeals as Sebastian moves his fingers faster, bringing Kurt so close to cumming that his stomach begins to whorl and his fingers start to curl in on themselves. He reaches for his cock, but Sebastian grabs his wrist and holds his arm over his head, not allowing him any relief. Kurt throws his head back and groans loudly in frustration. “Sebastian…I…” Kurt mutters fragments of threats and curses until he finally gets it. “J-je te veux, Sebastian! Je te veux!”
“Bien,” Sebastian says, removing his fingers slowly and releasing Kurt’s hand. “I can’t be the only one here speaking in tongues. But why don’t we try j'ai envie de toi.”
Kurt grins at Sebastian having the gall to correct him. “Je veux te faire l'amour.”
Sebastian looks momentarily shocked, but then he chuckles. “Better,” he says, leaning in for a kiss. “Much better.”
Another condom is found, the wrapper torn open, and the latex rolled down Sebastian’s erection. Kurt kisses him, then takes the initiative, choosing to turn on his side. With kisses to Kurt’s shoulder, Sebastian slips inside his body, still tight after last night but giving little resistance. He pushes in till he’s flush against Kurt’s skin. When their bodies connect, Kurt moans, “I love you, Sebastian,” and for once, Sebastian knows what it means to fit someone. Kurt’s body around his cock feels like a glove, but it’s not just Kurt’s body. It’s his everything - his mind, his heart, his wit, his conceit, his mad intelligence. Everything Kurt is matches everything Sebastian is - the real Sebastian. The one that hid so long behind insults and deceit. In Kurt’s arms, inside his body, Sebastian gets to be the truest version of himself, and that in itself is a release.
Inside the house, in the hallway outside his brother’s open bedroom door, Julian stands, listening to the undeniable music of Kurt and Sebastian sharing this moment of intimacy. Lurking on his brother and his boyfriend having sex might be considered a gross invasion of privacy - one that could bring up bad blood, cause Sebastian to shut him out again. But Julian isn't eavesdropping for any of the number of sordid reasons Sebastian would accuse him of. (Not that he hasn’t been guilty of those before, but this time he isn’t.)
Julian is listening because this sweet sound of two people making love helps him remember.
He closes his eyes and he’s in Ohio with Cooper. He leans his head back, eyes squeezed shut, and they’re children at Dalton, fooling around in secret - and yes, they were just children. Julian sees that now, not that that realization diminishes any of the things that happened, it’s simply a truth he’s come to terms with. It doesn’t make what he felt then any less real, but it makes what he feels now much more relevant. He blinks his eyes and they’re older, passing one another by like strangers, with only a flash of blue eyes meeting to remind him of the hope that had once been. Another blink and it’s a few days ago, in the front seat of Julian’s Jag, Cooper turning his head to speak and Julian stealing the taste of espresso from Cooper’s lips.
Julian hears Sebastian tell Kurt that he loves him. After a pause filled with kisses and sighs, Kurt tells Sebastian that he loves him, too, and Julian smiles. He almost fist-pumps the air. It feels like a personal victory for him. It shouldn’t. He shouldn’t take credit for any part of this. After all, what did he actually do? Kurt and Sebastian fell in love and came together on their own. No, that’s not where the victory is. The victory is in knowing that his little brother has a chance - a chance to grow from this bitter teenager who throws himself around like he’s nothing, to a man who truly knows how to love.
Because Sebastian loves Kurt and Kurt loves him back.
And that gives Julian hope.
***
Kurt side-eyes Sebastian while he stabs into his breakfast with murderous fervor, picking apart his slice of French toast piece by piece, white clouds of powdered sugar puffing into the air when the tines of his fork strike the plate. Kurt takes a bite of his breakfast, convinced that whatever’s wrong with Sebastian has nothing to do with their meal, as Kurt made it, and it’s absolutely delicious.
“Why are you Mr. Grumpy Pants this morning?” Kurt asks coolly, not giving much weight to Sebastian’s current mood. Sebastian has gotten better at regulating his feelings around Kurt over the summer, but he still has his sudden, inexplicable swings. Like this one, apparently, where Sebastian, in sullen silence, attacks his breakfast like a simple mixture of eggs and sugar baked into bread has somehow done him a grievous wrong. It has crossed Kurt’s mind that this might have something to do with his nightmare. Kurt still hasn’t said anything outright, but he’s hoping he’s opened enough of a door that Sebastian knows he’s welcome to enter and start a conversation.
Sebastian doesn’t raise his eyes at Kurt’s question, but he sneers at being called Mr. Grumpy Pants. “I mean, you didn’t have to make breakfast this morning…” Kurt slides in close, talking low in his boyfriend’s ear, “and I know I definitely can’t walk straight this morning…” That comment earns Kurt a half-smile. “So I’d say things are going pretty good for you.”
Kurt kisses Sebastian lightly on the cheek…then again…and again, peppering his faces with kisses and cajoling a smile from his lips.
“Alright! Alright!” Sebastian puts down his fork, leaving a massacre of ruined French toast on his plate. “I saw something…” Sebastian starts - a vague beginning, but that in itself feels like more considering Sebastian has rarely beat around the bush about anything with Kurt, almost to the point of being cruel.
“Well, what did you see?” Kurt folds his hands in his lap and puts on his sincerest active listening face.
Sebastian’s head nods back and forth, a visual representation of the thoughts ping-ponging in his brain as he assembles them to his best advantage, and Kurt can’t help thinking Oh God, this is going to be a biggie.
“I may have seen something…on your phone…”
“Oh, God!” Kurt throws his hands in the air. “Here we go again! What do I need to do to keep you out of my phone? Get a restraining order?”
“This isn’t a new infraction,” Sebastian assures Kurt in a way that manages to make it sound like this is more Kurt’s fault for being offended than Sebastian’s for rifling through his property. “It’s from, you know, before, so calm your tits.”
Kurt inhales deep and closes his eyes, working to keep from jumping straight to offense and going high-pitchy in the process, because whatever this is still might have something to do with Sebastian’s nightmare. It’s time for Kurt to put his indignation aside and be the supportive boyfriend.
He can always get Sebastian back later for being a nosy jerk.
“Okay, so what heinous thing did you see on my phone?” Kurt asks. “What do I have to apologize for even though you’re the one invading my privacy?”
Sebastian scowls like he’s about to tell Kurt to forget it, but he changes his mind. He scratches at the table top, clearing his throat, getting ready to explain.
“It was…” Sebastian looks immensely uncomfortable, as if Kurt had stumbled on his baby pictures or something equally embarrassing, “something I saw…on your bucket list…”
Sebastian drums his fingers on the table.
“Yeah?” Kurt asks. “Okay…” He keeps his interrogation open-ended to give Sebastian every opening to continue. “So, which one bothered you so much?” Kurt tries to think over the entries. Which ones are left that Sebastian might find offensive? They’re all pretty tame as far as Kurt is concerned…well, perhaps for the one about streaking the Academy Awards red carpet, but that one is still in question. Or maybe it’s one of the crossed-out ones. Could Kurt have already done something that’s making Sebastian look at him in a different light?
Seeing as Kurt has never blackmailed anyone, he doesn’t see that Sebastian is in a position to judge.
“It was the…” Sebastian looks like he’s considering whether cutting out his tongue is a better option than actually admitting what he’s about to admit, “kiss your boyfriend…under the fireworks…thing.”
Kurt opens his eyes wider. He’d forgotten all about that. Well, no, he hasn’t forgotten about that. He doesn’t think he will ever forget. It’s more like he didn’t realize that Sebastian finding it would bother him. Of course, he never dreamed that his phone would suddenly become Sebastian’s favorite plaything. Is Sebastian offended that Kurt crossed it off after that fourth at the Smythe’s house? But how would Sebastian have known that’s when Kurt did it? Sebastian didn’t even know about Kurt’s bucket list then. Kurt could have crossed it off any time.
“If it bothered you, why didn’t you talk to me about it?”
“Well, I’ve been a little busy, you know…” Sebastian doesn’t finish, and Kurt suspects it’s because he doesn’t want to sound like a dick by saying, “because I’ve been busy wooing you,” or something similar.
Sebastian purposefully not wanting to sound like a dick. He’s definitely making progress.
Kurt furrows his brow.
“I don’t understand,” Kurt says, reaching across the table to take Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian stops his incessant drumming in favor of taking it. “Why would that bother you?” Kurt sighs. “If I recall, our kiss on the fourth of July was pretty amazing.”
Sebastian tightens his hold on Kurt’s hand and locks his jaw.
“I thought our kiss was pretty amazing,” he says. “I thought that kiss…meant something. I know it might sound weird, especially considering how we were at the time, but it didn’t feel like part of the act to me, you know? And I thought…”
“That I felt that way, too?”
“Yeah.” Sebastian pauses when that word cracks. “After everything that’s happened, I’d started to think that maybe it was some kind of turning point, you know. But apparently not.”
Kurt stares at Sebastian, at the set in his jaw, at their hands joined together, baffled by Sebastian’s hurt.
“Wait…” Kurt says, shaking his head to get his thoughts into some sense of order, “do you think…that me and Blaine…”
Sebastian’s jaw becomes so tight a vein stands out on his neck. “Well, didn’t you?”
Kurt wants to laugh, but he doesn’t want to hurt Sebastian more. Miscommunications. That’s what this whole summer’s been about up to this point. Miscommunications, wrong turns, and a variety of other comical missteps.
“You should have asked me about it,” Kurt says.
“But…” Sebastian says dramatically, knowing that the words that follow are going to sound ridiculous, “I didn’t want you to know that I went through your phone.”
This time Kurt does laugh. He anticipates Sebastian’s reaction and holds his hand with both of his so his surly boyfriend can’t yank it away.
“Stop laughing at me,” Sebastian growls, but he doesn’t make a move to take his hand back.
“I’m not laughing at you, Sebastian,” Kurt says. “I’m laughing because…” He stops to catch his breath. “Do you know when that was added to my calendar?” He doesn’t bring up the fact that he didn’t add it. That’s an unnecessary piece of information and contrary to the point.
“No,” Sebastian says. “I didn’t check.”
Kurt sighs, bringing Sebastian’s hand to his mouth, having to lean forward to get to it when Sebastian resists, and kissing across his knuckles.
“Well,” Kurt says, “if you had talked to me, you would have found out that that got added to my calendar for this summer, which means Blaine and I didn’t do that one…”
Sebastian’s blush is slow to show, but his smile is immediate, and more than a tiny bit victorious.
“We did.”
“Yup,” Kurt says, not even minding the sound of superiority in Sebastian’s voice. “You and I crossed that one off. That was our first.”
Sebastian sits up straight in his chair, picks up his fork, and digs in to his breakfast. The change in his attitude is remarkable, and Kurt is both amused and surprised.
“So, I take it you feel better now?” Kurt asks, watching Sebastian pull a 180 and devour his food.
“Mm-hmm,” he mumbles. “It proves what I always suspected.”
Kurt raises a brow. He can’t wait to hear this one.
“And what was that, pray tell?”
Sebastian swallows the last bite of his French toast.
“That even back then, you were harboring a huge crush on me.”
Kurt scoffs in disgust and drops Sebastian’s hand.
***
Sebastian makes no elaborate plans (even though he has a couple of ideas up on deck), no day trips, no adventures that will take them far from the beach house so that they can hang out, spending their time just being around each other - not that they hadn’t been for the past week, but in a much different way than before. They touch each other more, smile at each other more. Sometimes they stop whatever they’re doing to hold each other for no reason. Sebastian becomes strangely silly, almost on a crusade to make Kurt laugh, and Kurt retaliates by telling really lame jokes that Finn and Puck taught him, most of them heterosexually X-rated.
He tries to alter some of them in the middle, but that just makes them worse.
By mid-morning, the rain clouds burn off and they lay out on the beach, lining up their towels side by side and holding hands in between. When the temperature starts to heat up, they head to the water for a swim - first wading, then splashing, then full on tackling each other in the surf. Kurt shoves Sebastian backwards into an oncoming wave, knocking him off his feet and under the water. Sebastian sneaks up on Kurt from beneath the swell and grabs him around the waist, threatening to dunk him. Kurt curses, and when that doesn’t work, he negotiates, not keen on getting salt water up his nose, knowing it will drain like a sieve afterward, bringing the contents of his sinuses with it. But Sebastian locks Kurt against him, about to lift him into his arms and toss him into the next wave. Sandwiched close together with nothing but their swim trunks between them, they forget about wrestling and make out instead, there in the shallow water, enjoying long, passionate kisses as the sun warms their skin and the cool waves crash around their knees.
With the Smythe family heading their way, they take advantage of their last day of solitude to make love, moving from the porch to Sebastian’s bedroom when the sun outside gets too strong and the tent too hot. Not that that stops them. The hour shower after is worth the near heatstroke they suffer to get them in there. They opt to use the outdoor shower, the ice cold water a nice change from the hot showers they’ve taken before, and an exhilarating addition to the taboo of being seen from the beach (okay, a private beach…plus the shower has a door, but once or twice that door gets accidentally bumped open, exposing the nude tangle of Kurt and Sebastian’s bodies to the sand, ocean, and sky).
It’s a controlled danger, and to Kurt, that’s the best kind.
Julian makes an appearance, popping in and out a few times, unannounced, mostly for food and a change of clothes, though considering he can afford to eat anywhere, Kurt suspects that Julian might be checking in on them. Kurt doesn’t know where Julian goes when he leaves - neither boy asks and Julian doesn’t offer to tell them. Sebastian seems happy to ignore his older brother’s irritating presence, but to Kurt, Julian seems downright sedate, his mind lost in another universe that’s much more interesting than this one. Kurt catches Julian from the porch, walking the shoreline after lunch, shoes and socks off, jeans rolled up to his knees, talking on his cell phone. Mostly he smiles but occasionally he laughs, and when he does, Kurt gets a glimpse of the boy he must have been when he attended Dalton.
A boy a lot like Sebastian.
The boy who fell in love with Cooper Anderson.
So Kurt knows Julian has to be talking to Cooper.
Watching Julian talk to Cooper brings the thought of Blaine briefly to Kurt’s mind - where is he, what’s he doing, what’s going on in his life…is he still with that guy? But as that thought flares, pestering him, eating holes into his happiness like a termite through supple wood, suddenly Sebastian is there. He puts a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, turns him away from his view of the ocean, and kisses him, softer than his possessive, claiming kisses, but still just as much a brand - a mark on Kurt’s lips. Sebastian only has to kiss him for a few seconds before the entirety of the world and everything in it disappears, leaving behind the only things that matter - the heat pooling in Kurt’s gut and the boy putting it there.
Julian leaves again and comes back in the evening, right around dinner time. He blows by Kurt and Sebastian puttering in the kitchen. He walks straight to the sofa, drops down on the cushion, and props his left ankle on his right knee. Staring at Sebastian with a teasing (albeit tired) smirk, and says, “So, where’s the grub, Iron Chef Ohio?”
“There’s a toaster in the kitchen,” Sebastian answers without missing a beat. “Turn it upside down and shake it over a plate.”
“Don’t be like that,” Julian whines. “I’ve had a long day.”
“And I care?” Sebastian mutters, putting a stack of freshly washed dishes away.
“What about your man? Don’t you know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?”
“Really?” Sebastian scoffs. “And when’s the last time you cooked?”
“I don’t,” Julian says, “but then again, I don’t have a gorgeous young thing like Kurt here to seduce.” Julian’s teasing eyes sparkle in Kurt’s direction, and Kurt sees him come up with a plan. “Come to think of it,” he says, scooting off his seat, “maybe I should get my ass in the kitchen and whip up something. It might be nice for Kurt to know that there’s more than one Smythe man that can cook.”
“Sebastian,” Kurt says, turning and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, “you didn’t tell me your dad can cook?”
Sebastian chuckles and Julian, defeated by his own remark, sits back down.
“Don’t worry about my man, big brother,” Sebastian says, kissing the crown of Kurt’s head, adding to the countless number of kisses already there. “I’ve got this.”
Sebastian did have dinner under control, he just doesn’t want Julian to be a part of it. But seeing as Julian isn’t likely to go anywhere until he’s fed, Sebastian puts off his plans to make Kurt a salmon almondine and orders a pizza.
“Ah, Seb! You copped out! And I was so looking forward to seeing you in an apron,” Julian jeers when the pizza arrives, but that doesn’t keep him from grabbing three pieces for himself.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Sebastian says as he puts two slices on a plate for Kurt. “I’m not really in the mood to cook for Captain Asshat.”
“It’s alright,” Kurt assures him, taking his plate and leaving Sebastian with a kiss on the chin. “I understand. Another time?”
Sebastian smiles at Kurt and gives him a wink.
“Of course,” he says, looking as warmed by Kurt needing reassurance that there will be a next time as Sebastian is giving it.
The pizza’s not from a chain restaurant, but a local Italian pizzeria not far from the beach, popular with vacationers and locals alike. It ends up being a really good pizza, Kurt has to admit (Sebastian says it’s because of the water), but he doesn’t like missing out on one of Sebastian’s handcrafted meals, and marks this as another in a small series of strikes against Julian, a tally that changes up and down every time Julian opens his mouth.
The three of them work their way through a large pizza as if they haven’t eaten in weeks. Kurt and Sebastian banter back and forth, debating the merits and deficits of the Warblers vs New Directions, rehashing old arguments, but mostly discussing some of the things Kurt can expect when Liv gets there and takes over planning the activities for the rest of their stay (not because Sebastian wants to turn over that responsibility, but because there’s really no way of stopping her). Julian contributes by jumping to Kurt’s defense during the argument portion of the conversation, then zones out when the subject changes to Liv and her military precision scheduling skills, dropping back in when there’s only crusts of the pizza left.
“So, what do you boys have planned for after dinner entertainment?” he asks. “Are you guys going to fuck some more? Because in that case, I should go to your room, Seb, and look for a good seat.”
“Julian…” Sebastian starts in the same warning tone he uses whenever Julian brings up their sex life - even if they only legitimately started having one in the last couple of days.
“Or were you thinking of going at it right here?” Julian continues. “Because, I won’t lie…that’s hot. It’ll give me something to visualize during Liv’s boring Pictionary tournaments.”
“Julian…” This one comes from Kurt, having his left hand crushed in Sebastian’s grip.
“Though might I suggest you guys switch it up a bit? Poor Kurt looks like he’s going to need a hernia pillow from now on.”
“How about we watch something on TV?” Kurt suggests, cutting the commentary short before Sebastian leaps for Julian’s throat, though Julian’s not wrong about the pillow. Not that Kurt cares. Kurt doesn’t know yet where Sebastian stands on the issue of Kurt topping him, but for now, even if he can’t sit comfortably, he’s not complaining, especially when Sebastian puts a pillow from the couch between his legs and gestures with a couple of playful pats for Kurt to join him.
The satellite has long since returned, but they break down and watch Top Gun - the vote 2 to 1, making Sebastian the odd-man out. (Julian leapt in and voted in favor of the minute he saw Sebastian vote against. He remembers firsthand how much Sebastian loathes that movie. That’s one of the main reasons Julian bought it the last time the satellite went out.) But halfway through the movie, Julian stands up, says, “It’s been fun, kiddos. Thanks for the ‘za, Seb. Always a pleasure, Kurt. See you guys tomorrow,” and leaves. Kurt and Sebastian share a look when they hear his Jag drive away, both curious what prompted him to leave and why (Sebastian less so, looking relieved to have his brother gone). Kurt has a theory, seeing as once the movie started Kurt and Sebastian became a little more interested in each other than in the plight of Maverick and Goose, and whether or not they’d make it to flight school.
Kurt was basically straddling Sebastian’s lap when Julian made his exit.
Perhaps Julian isn’t quite the voyeur he claims to be.
Or maybe it’s too hard being around two people in love when the one you love can’t be around.
But not for long, Kurt thinks, knowing that he’ll be face to face with Cooper again soon enough.
Once they figure out that Julian’s not coming back, they turn off the movie, clean up what’s left of dinner, and retreat back to their tent.
Undressing goes speedily now that any and all embarrassment is gone, the hurdle of possible rejection or biting ridicule no longer an issue. Kurt offers himself to Sebastian, and Sebastian buries himself inside his boyfriend. Kurt leans back against him, head on his shoulder, sighing with contentment and subdued ecstasy, absorbing Sebastian’s shallow thrusts and the sensual touch of the hands massaging his skin.
“Mmm…I think I could do just this for the rest of the night,” Kurt says, rolling his head on Sebastian’s shoulder to look him in the eyes.
“Really?” Sebastian answers with an excitement he’d normally crush, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t mind Kurt hearing it because this isn’t normal. Not for him. Making love (not fucking, but making love), being in love, getting the boy (not just any boy, the boy as far as he’s concerned), Sebastian is a stranger to these concepts. “Then we’ll do this all night.”
“You promise?” Kurt asks, sleep sneaking into the tone of his voice.
“I promise,” Sebastian says, cradling Kurt against him, making love to him slowly, not in any hurry to get to a destination, just enjoying the stops along the way. Kurt’s breathing becomes an even rhythm as he falls to sleep and Sebastian can barely believe that this - any of it - is real. He holds Kurt close, and inside Sebastian, deep, deep inside, old hurts finally begin to heal.
Over the course of the night and into the early morning, most of the candles in the house burn themselves out, and the ones on the porch get extinguished by the wind. But inside the tent, a different, stronger fire simmers. It smolders at all points where Kurt and Sebastian touch, where their bodies press together or their limbs intertwine. They sleep at peace this way, sharing one another’s warmth, the beating of their hearts keeping close pace - sometimes together, sometimes with one an echo behind.
Sebastian sleeps deeply, his mind wandering to a place where truth muddies and reality becomes unclear. A place where even his own brain betrays him. Before dawn, Sebastian’s eyes snap open and he wakes with a start, his breath racing along with his pulse.
Trapped in the darkness, his eyes and ears struggling to wake seconds after he does, he thinks it was a dream - all of it. Hungover from excitement and adrenaline, he’s sure he’s woken up God knows where, sleeping beside God knows who, and his night with Kurt - his amazing, romantic first time with Kurt - will turn out to be just a figment of alcohol and weed (or maybe something stronger). It will dissolve into the ether, the way those dreams of Kurt always do. He blinks his eyes and looks around, trying to figure out why he’s sleeping in a tent, and who the person is wrapped around him, whose hair against his cheek feels like silk, and whose skin smells like vanilla. He hears a tiny whimper as the body twines itself tighter, and Sebastian’s heart begins to relax.
Because maybe Sebastian’s brain hasn’t added up the pieces yet, but his heart knows that voice. Its vocal signature is written on Sebastian’s skin, straight through the layers of muscle and tissue, imprinting on the bones underneath.
It’s Kurt, Sebastian realizes. He’s here.
“Kurt?” Sebastian whispers. He feels like a heel for waking him up, but he needs to hear Kurt’s voice. He needs to hear Kurt say his name just once, so he can be sure.
The voice hums in response, and Sebastian’s body calms further, bringing his breathing under control.
“Mmm, Sebastian?” Kurt murmurs, placing a small peck on Sebastian’s chest over his heart. “Sebastian, baby, what is it? Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian says, running shaky fingers through Kurt’s hair. “Yeah, I…”
“Did you have a bad dream?” Kurt lifts his head, blinking eyelids so heavy they don’t even open.
“Yeah,” Sebastian answers. “I think I did, but…it’s over now. I’m…I’m okay.”
“Do you (yawn)…do you want to talk about it?”
“I…” Sebastian considers it, but what is he really going to say? I’ve dreamt of making love to you many times? And all those times, when it turned out to be only a dream, I’d find myself alone, or high, or with someone else, and it broke pieces of me?
Would Kurt believe him? Could Kurt believe that, after everything Sebastian’s done to him?
Maybe Sebastian can come up with something close - touch on the truth without venturing too far into it, describe the emotion without pinpointing a source. He knows Kurt wouldn’t judge him. He knows that Kurt would sympathize but…it’s too big a secret for Sebastian to admit. Sometimes it sounds farfetched even to himself.
Does he confess here, now, what holds him back from being the person he is when he’s around Kurt? What his mother meant by his sleeping around being ‘emotionally damaging’?
Or that asking Kurt to pretend to be his boyfriend wasn’t exactly necessary? That he had other options?
Sebastian cards Kurt’s hair, thinking of all the ways this might play out if he owned up to any of it.
“Sebastian?” Kurt says, sounding more awake, and a voice in Sebastian’s head says don’t. Not now.
“Maybe later?” Sebastian answers. “I’m still really tired.”
Sebastian feels Kurt breathe in, and then it hitch as he prepares to argue, but he lets it go.
“M’kay,” Kurt says. “Go back to sleep.”
Sebastian nods with a choked off laugh of relief that hides what had started as a sob.
“I will,” Sebastian sniffles. “I’m sorry I woke you, babe.”
“Mmm…” Kurt nods, muttering, words getting lost in the translation from sleep to awake, “it’s okay, ‘bastian. I’m here. (yawn) I love you. I’m…” Kurt snores softly, returning to sleep, and Sebastian sighs. Here, with Kurt in his arms, Sebastian doesn’t feel quite so wrong anymore. He doesn’t feel aimless, like he’s being carried away beyond his control. He settles beneath Kurt’s body, pulling the blanket tight around them. He buries his nose in Kurt’s hair and breathes in deep. He has him. Sebastian finally has Kurt.
Now all he has to do is figure out a way to never lose him.
When the sun rises hours later, it brings with it a light veil of morning mist, which, drop by drop over the ocean, turns into another summer storm - only this one sings against the beach house instead of wails, spattering the tent set up on the porch with gentle taps and shoves. Kurt and Sebastian greet the rain with moans, and whispered sentiments of love and affection.
Kurt wakes Sebastian this time around with a second attempt at a blow job. He doesn’t falter again, doesn’t let ancient history get in the way of enjoying this. When he slips down Sebastian’s body and wraps his lips around his cock, he spares not a single thought for the boys of Sebastian Smythe’s past. Kurt sees only his boyfriend’s beautiful body, which Kurt has permission to touch and bite and kiss any way he pleases.
Sebastian rambles as he wakes, moaning Kurt’s name more than anything, running trembling fingers through Kurt’s hair, hooking his fingers in when Kurt sucks particularly hard. Sebastian’s skin tastes like sweat and he smells like sex. It’s an electrifying combination.
Kurt’s hands crawl up Sebastian’s torso to his chest and Sebastian grabs hold. Kurt loves this, loves that this is a thing for them. He loves that no matter what they’re doing, no matter where they are, Sebastian always searches for his hand to hold.
If Sebastian needs him, if Sebastian looks for him, he’ll find him.
Taking Sebastian’s hands is an unspoken promise that Kurt will be there.
Kurt sucks slowly, pulls gently, until his boyfriend writhes against the blanket, digging his heels into the floor of the tent and carefully bucking his hips, only shallowly fucking Kurt’s mouth.
“Kurt…my God, Kurt…” he moans. “Viens… viens ici…j’ai besoin de toi…Kurt…please…I need you now…”
Kurt doesn’t let him go easily, and Sebastian doesn’t push him away. How can he, when this is the realization of so many fantasies?
Sebastian begs a little harder, and Kurt finally pulls off him, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes. They’re almost unrecognizable in the dawning light, but Kurt would know them anywhere.
“But I want to know how you taste,” Kurt pouts, and Sebastian moans at the delicious thought of cumming down the tight, warm sheath of Kurt’s throat, coaxed there by his talented tongue.
“Oh, God…” Sebastian thinks about it a second more, then shakes his head. “A-another time. Please, Kurt. I want you.”
Kurt makes Sebastian suffer a few seconds more before he relents, rising to his hands and knees. Sebastian grabs him by the waist, spinning him around and pinning him down to the blanket. Kurt yelps in surprise, but Sebastian kisses that squeak away, padding down the pillows frantically in search of the bottle of lube. Finding it, opening it, and coating his fingers all happens with his mouth on Kurt’s, kissing him breathless. Kurt feels Sebastian’s hand reach between his legs and he opens up for him, spreading his knees wide and rising up an inch so Sebastian’s fingers can find his entrance. Sebastian is not quite as gentle as he was earlier, but that suits Kurt fine. Kurt is beyond foreplay at this point, the build-up between them having developed over hours with their naked bodies pressed against each other.
That bliss was broken momentarily when Sebastian startled Kurt awake; when he woke up calling out Kurt’s name. Kurt knew Sebastian had to have had a nightmare the way he was whimpering and sniffling. Kurt didn’t make a big deal of it at the time. He didn’t want to embarrass Sebastian. He wanted to help his boyfriend, but he was willing to wait for Sebastian to come to him, to ask for help on his own terms. So Kurt held Sebastian tight and let him know he was there.
No matter what, Kurt would be there.
After Kurt managed to fall back to sleep, all he could think of was Sebastian making love to him, laying him bare beneath him and having him until he got his fill of him.
So he’ll let Sebastian open him up again, but this time, Sebastian knows Kurt’s secrets. He knows where to touch, and how hard to touch to make Kurt’s eyes roll and his toes curl.
He knows how to make Kurt cum, crying his name.
Sebastian kisses Kurt, slower now that he has his fingers inside him, brushing over him gently and swallowing every whimper that slips past his lips.
“Tell me you want me,” Sebastian whispers, taking Kurt’s lower lip into his mouth and nibbling on it.
“I want you,” Kurt sighs.
Kurt looks up into Sebastian’s eyes, the smile on Sebastian’s face twisting into a playful smirk.
“Tell me…you want me…” Sebastian says again, more commanding, his smirk morphing from playful to positively wicked. Kurt opens his mouth to repeat what he said, exactly the way he said it, but Sebastian shakes his head, and Kurt doesn’t understand. Then Sebastian does something underhanded. With two fingers together, he finds that spot that makes Kurt whimper and rubs it, massaging in fast, small circles until Kurt’s body threatens to implode.
“Sebastian! I…uh…” Kurt squeals as Sebastian moves his fingers faster, bringing Kurt so close to cumming that his stomach begins to whorl and his fingers start to curl in on themselves. He reaches for his cock, but Sebastian grabs his wrist and holds his arm over his head, not allowing him any relief. Kurt throws his head back and groans loudly in frustration. “Sebastian…I…” Kurt mutters fragments of threats and curses until he finally gets it. “J-je te veux, Sebastian! Je te veux!”
“Bien,” Sebastian says, removing his fingers slowly and releasing Kurt’s hand. “I can’t be the only one here speaking in tongues. But why don’t we try j'ai envie de toi.”
Kurt grins at Sebastian having the gall to correct him. “Je veux te faire l'amour.”
Sebastian looks momentarily shocked, but then he chuckles. “Better,” he says, leaning in for a kiss. “Much better.”
Another condom is found, the wrapper torn open, and the latex rolled down Sebastian’s erection. Kurt kisses him, then takes the initiative, choosing to turn on his side. With kisses to Kurt’s shoulder, Sebastian slips inside his body, still tight after last night but giving little resistance. He pushes in till he’s flush against Kurt’s skin. When their bodies connect, Kurt moans, “I love you, Sebastian,” and for once, Sebastian knows what it means to fit someone. Kurt’s body around his cock feels like a glove, but it’s not just Kurt’s body. It’s his everything - his mind, his heart, his wit, his conceit, his mad intelligence. Everything Kurt is matches everything Sebastian is - the real Sebastian. The one that hid so long behind insults and deceit. In Kurt’s arms, inside his body, Sebastian gets to be the truest version of himself, and that in itself is a release.
Inside the house, in the hallway outside his brother’s open bedroom door, Julian stands, listening to the undeniable music of Kurt and Sebastian sharing this moment of intimacy. Lurking on his brother and his boyfriend having sex might be considered a gross invasion of privacy - one that could bring up bad blood, cause Sebastian to shut him out again. But Julian isn't eavesdropping for any of the number of sordid reasons Sebastian would accuse him of. (Not that he hasn’t been guilty of those before, but this time he isn’t.)
Julian is listening because this sweet sound of two people making love helps him remember.
He closes his eyes and he’s in Ohio with Cooper. He leans his head back, eyes squeezed shut, and they’re children at Dalton, fooling around in secret - and yes, they were just children. Julian sees that now, not that that realization diminishes any of the things that happened, it’s simply a truth he’s come to terms with. It doesn’t make what he felt then any less real, but it makes what he feels now much more relevant. He blinks his eyes and they’re older, passing one another by like strangers, with only a flash of blue eyes meeting to remind him of the hope that had once been. Another blink and it’s a few days ago, in the front seat of Julian’s Jag, Cooper turning his head to speak and Julian stealing the taste of espresso from Cooper’s lips.
Julian hears Sebastian tell Kurt that he loves him. After a pause filled with kisses and sighs, Kurt tells Sebastian that he loves him, too, and Julian smiles. He almost fist-pumps the air. It feels like a personal victory for him. It shouldn’t. He shouldn’t take credit for any part of this. After all, what did he actually do? Kurt and Sebastian fell in love and came together on their own. No, that’s not where the victory is. The victory is in knowing that his little brother has a chance - a chance to grow from this bitter teenager who throws himself around like he’s nothing, to a man who truly knows how to love.
Because Sebastian loves Kurt and Kurt loves him back.
And that gives Julian hope.
***
Kurt side-eyes Sebastian while he stabs into his breakfast with murderous fervor, picking apart his slice of French toast piece by piece, white clouds of powdered sugar puffing into the air when the tines of his fork strike the plate. Kurt takes a bite of his breakfast, convinced that whatever’s wrong with Sebastian has nothing to do with their meal, as Kurt made it, and it’s absolutely delicious.
“Why are you Mr. Grumpy Pants this morning?” Kurt asks coolly, not giving much weight to Sebastian’s current mood. Sebastian has gotten better at regulating his feelings around Kurt over the summer, but he still has his sudden, inexplicable swings. Like this one, apparently, where Sebastian, in sullen silence, attacks his breakfast like a simple mixture of eggs and sugar baked into bread has somehow done him a grievous wrong. It has crossed Kurt’s mind that this might have something to do with his nightmare. Kurt still hasn’t said anything outright, but he’s hoping he’s opened enough of a door that Sebastian knows he’s welcome to enter and start a conversation.
Sebastian doesn’t raise his eyes at Kurt’s question, but he sneers at being called Mr. Grumpy Pants. “I mean, you didn’t have to make breakfast this morning…” Kurt slides in close, talking low in his boyfriend’s ear, “and I know I definitely can’t walk straight this morning…” That comment earns Kurt a half-smile. “So I’d say things are going pretty good for you.”
Kurt kisses Sebastian lightly on the cheek…then again…and again, peppering his faces with kisses and cajoling a smile from his lips.
“Alright! Alright!” Sebastian puts down his fork, leaving a massacre of ruined French toast on his plate. “I saw something…” Sebastian starts - a vague beginning, but that in itself feels like more considering Sebastian has rarely beat around the bush about anything with Kurt, almost to the point of being cruel.
“Well, what did you see?” Kurt folds his hands in his lap and puts on his sincerest active listening face.
Sebastian’s head nods back and forth, a visual representation of the thoughts ping-ponging in his brain as he assembles them to his best advantage, and Kurt can’t help thinking Oh God, this is going to be a biggie.
“I may have seen something…on your phone…”
“Oh, God!” Kurt throws his hands in the air. “Here we go again! What do I need to do to keep you out of my phone? Get a restraining order?”
“This isn’t a new infraction,” Sebastian assures Kurt in a way that manages to make it sound like this is more Kurt’s fault for being offended than Sebastian’s for rifling through his property. “It’s from, you know, before, so calm your tits.”
Kurt inhales deep and closes his eyes, working to keep from jumping straight to offense and going high-pitchy in the process, because whatever this is still might have something to do with Sebastian’s nightmare. It’s time for Kurt to put his indignation aside and be the supportive boyfriend.
He can always get Sebastian back later for being a nosy jerk.
“Okay, so what heinous thing did you see on my phone?” Kurt asks. “What do I have to apologize for even though you’re the one invading my privacy?”
Sebastian scowls like he’s about to tell Kurt to forget it, but he changes his mind. He scratches at the table top, clearing his throat, getting ready to explain.
“It was…” Sebastian looks immensely uncomfortable, as if Kurt had stumbled on his baby pictures or something equally embarrassing, “something I saw…on your bucket list…”
Sebastian drums his fingers on the table.
“Yeah?” Kurt asks. “Okay…” He keeps his interrogation open-ended to give Sebastian every opening to continue. “So, which one bothered you so much?” Kurt tries to think over the entries. Which ones are left that Sebastian might find offensive? They’re all pretty tame as far as Kurt is concerned…well, perhaps for the one about streaking the Academy Awards red carpet, but that one is still in question. Or maybe it’s one of the crossed-out ones. Could Kurt have already done something that’s making Sebastian look at him in a different light?
Seeing as Kurt has never blackmailed anyone, he doesn’t see that Sebastian is in a position to judge.
“It was the…” Sebastian looks like he’s considering whether cutting out his tongue is a better option than actually admitting what he’s about to admit, “kiss your boyfriend…under the fireworks…thing.”
Kurt opens his eyes wider. He’d forgotten all about that. Well, no, he hasn’t forgotten about that. He doesn’t think he will ever forget. It’s more like he didn’t realize that Sebastian finding it would bother him. Of course, he never dreamed that his phone would suddenly become Sebastian’s favorite plaything. Is Sebastian offended that Kurt crossed it off after that fourth at the Smythe’s house? But how would Sebastian have known that’s when Kurt did it? Sebastian didn’t even know about Kurt’s bucket list then. Kurt could have crossed it off any time.
“If it bothered you, why didn’t you talk to me about it?”
“Well, I’ve been a little busy, you know…” Sebastian doesn’t finish, and Kurt suspects it’s because he doesn’t want to sound like a dick by saying, “because I’ve been busy wooing you,” or something similar.
Sebastian purposefully not wanting to sound like a dick. He’s definitely making progress.
Kurt furrows his brow.
“I don’t understand,” Kurt says, reaching across the table to take Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian stops his incessant drumming in favor of taking it. “Why would that bother you?” Kurt sighs. “If I recall, our kiss on the fourth of July was pretty amazing.”
Sebastian tightens his hold on Kurt’s hand and locks his jaw.
“I thought our kiss was pretty amazing,” he says. “I thought that kiss…meant something. I know it might sound weird, especially considering how we were at the time, but it didn’t feel like part of the act to me, you know? And I thought…”
“That I felt that way, too?”
“Yeah.” Sebastian pauses when that word cracks. “After everything that’s happened, I’d started to think that maybe it was some kind of turning point, you know. But apparently not.”
Kurt stares at Sebastian, at the set in his jaw, at their hands joined together, baffled by Sebastian’s hurt.
“Wait…” Kurt says, shaking his head to get his thoughts into some sense of order, “do you think…that me and Blaine…”
Sebastian’s jaw becomes so tight a vein stands out on his neck. “Well, didn’t you?”
Kurt wants to laugh, but he doesn’t want to hurt Sebastian more. Miscommunications. That’s what this whole summer’s been about up to this point. Miscommunications, wrong turns, and a variety of other comical missteps.
“You should have asked me about it,” Kurt says.
“But…” Sebastian says dramatically, knowing that the words that follow are going to sound ridiculous, “I didn’t want you to know that I went through your phone.”
This time Kurt does laugh. He anticipates Sebastian’s reaction and holds his hand with both of his so his surly boyfriend can’t yank it away.
“Stop laughing at me,” Sebastian growls, but he doesn’t make a move to take his hand back.
“I’m not laughing at you, Sebastian,” Kurt says. “I’m laughing because…” He stops to catch his breath. “Do you know when that was added to my calendar?” He doesn’t bring up the fact that he didn’t add it. That’s an unnecessary piece of information and contrary to the point.
“No,” Sebastian says. “I didn’t check.”
Kurt sighs, bringing Sebastian’s hand to his mouth, having to lean forward to get to it when Sebastian resists, and kissing across his knuckles.
“Well,” Kurt says, “if you had talked to me, you would have found out that that got added to my calendar for this summer, which means Blaine and I didn’t do that one…”
Sebastian’s blush is slow to show, but his smile is immediate, and more than a tiny bit victorious.
“We did.”
“Yup,” Kurt says, not even minding the sound of superiority in Sebastian’s voice. “You and I crossed that one off. That was our first.”
Sebastian sits up straight in his chair, picks up his fork, and digs in to his breakfast. The change in his attitude is remarkable, and Kurt is both amused and surprised.
“So, I take it you feel better now?” Kurt asks, watching Sebastian pull a 180 and devour his food.
“Mm-hmm,” he mumbles. “It proves what I always suspected.”
Kurt raises a brow. He can’t wait to hear this one.
“And what was that, pray tell?”
Sebastian swallows the last bite of his French toast.
“That even back then, you were harboring a huge crush on me.”
Kurt scoffs in disgust and drops Sebastian’s hand.
***
Sebastian makes no elaborate plans (even though he has a couple of ideas up on deck), no day trips, no adventures that will take them far from the beach house so that they can hang out, spending their time just being around each other - not that they hadn’t been for the past week, but in a much different way than before. They touch each other more, smile at each other more. Sometimes they stop whatever they’re doing to hold each other for no reason. Sebastian becomes strangely silly, almost on a crusade to make Kurt laugh, and Kurt retaliates by telling really lame jokes that Finn and Puck taught him, most of them heterosexually X-rated.
He tries to alter some of them in the middle, but that just makes them worse.
By mid-morning, the rain clouds burn off and they lay out on the beach, lining up their towels side by side and holding hands in between. When the temperature starts to heat up, they head to the water for a swim - first wading, then splashing, then full on tackling each other in the surf. Kurt shoves Sebastian backwards into an oncoming wave, knocking him off his feet and under the water. Sebastian sneaks up on Kurt from beneath the swell and grabs him around the waist, threatening to dunk him. Kurt curses, and when that doesn’t work, he negotiates, not keen on getting salt water up his nose, knowing it will drain like a sieve afterward, bringing the contents of his sinuses with it. But Sebastian locks Kurt against him, about to lift him into his arms and toss him into the next wave. Sandwiched close together with nothing but their swim trunks between them, they forget about wrestling and make out instead, there in the shallow water, enjoying long, passionate kisses as the sun warms their skin and the cool waves crash around their knees.
With the Smythe family heading their way, they take advantage of their last day of solitude to make love, moving from the porch to Sebastian’s bedroom when the sun outside gets too strong and the tent too hot. Not that that stops them. The hour shower after is worth the near heatstroke they suffer to get them in there. They opt to use the outdoor shower, the ice cold water a nice change from the hot showers they’ve taken before, and an exhilarating addition to the taboo of being seen from the beach (okay, a private beach…plus the shower has a door, but once or twice that door gets accidentally bumped open, exposing the nude tangle of Kurt and Sebastian’s bodies to the sand, ocean, and sky).
It’s a controlled danger, and to Kurt, that’s the best kind.
Julian makes an appearance, popping in and out a few times, unannounced, mostly for food and a change of clothes, though considering he can afford to eat anywhere, Kurt suspects that Julian might be checking in on them. Kurt doesn’t know where Julian goes when he leaves - neither boy asks and Julian doesn’t offer to tell them. Sebastian seems happy to ignore his older brother’s irritating presence, but to Kurt, Julian seems downright sedate, his mind lost in another universe that’s much more interesting than this one. Kurt catches Julian from the porch, walking the shoreline after lunch, shoes and socks off, jeans rolled up to his knees, talking on his cell phone. Mostly he smiles but occasionally he laughs, and when he does, Kurt gets a glimpse of the boy he must have been when he attended Dalton.
A boy a lot like Sebastian.
The boy who fell in love with Cooper Anderson.
So Kurt knows Julian has to be talking to Cooper.
Watching Julian talk to Cooper brings the thought of Blaine briefly to Kurt’s mind - where is he, what’s he doing, what’s going on in his life…is he still with that guy? But as that thought flares, pestering him, eating holes into his happiness like a termite through supple wood, suddenly Sebastian is there. He puts a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, turns him away from his view of the ocean, and kisses him, softer than his possessive, claiming kisses, but still just as much a brand - a mark on Kurt’s lips. Sebastian only has to kiss him for a few seconds before the entirety of the world and everything in it disappears, leaving behind the only things that matter - the heat pooling in Kurt’s gut and the boy putting it there.
Julian leaves again and comes back in the evening, right around dinner time. He blows by Kurt and Sebastian puttering in the kitchen. He walks straight to the sofa, drops down on the cushion, and props his left ankle on his right knee. Staring at Sebastian with a teasing (albeit tired) smirk, and says, “So, where’s the grub, Iron Chef Ohio?”
“There’s a toaster in the kitchen,” Sebastian answers without missing a beat. “Turn it upside down and shake it over a plate.”
“Don’t be like that,” Julian whines. “I’ve had a long day.”
“And I care?” Sebastian mutters, putting a stack of freshly washed dishes away.
“What about your man? Don’t you know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?”
“Really?” Sebastian scoffs. “And when’s the last time you cooked?”
“I don’t,” Julian says, “but then again, I don’t have a gorgeous young thing like Kurt here to seduce.” Julian’s teasing eyes sparkle in Kurt’s direction, and Kurt sees him come up with a plan. “Come to think of it,” he says, scooting off his seat, “maybe I should get my ass in the kitchen and whip up something. It might be nice for Kurt to know that there’s more than one Smythe man that can cook.”
“Sebastian,” Kurt says, turning and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, “you didn’t tell me your dad can cook?”
Sebastian chuckles and Julian, defeated by his own remark, sits back down.
“Don’t worry about my man, big brother,” Sebastian says, kissing the crown of Kurt’s head, adding to the countless number of kisses already there. “I’ve got this.”
Sebastian did have dinner under control, he just doesn’t want Julian to be a part of it. But seeing as Julian isn’t likely to go anywhere until he’s fed, Sebastian puts off his plans to make Kurt a salmon almondine and orders a pizza.
“Ah, Seb! You copped out! And I was so looking forward to seeing you in an apron,” Julian jeers when the pizza arrives, but that doesn’t keep him from grabbing three pieces for himself.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Sebastian says as he puts two slices on a plate for Kurt. “I’m not really in the mood to cook for Captain Asshat.”
“It’s alright,” Kurt assures him, taking his plate and leaving Sebastian with a kiss on the chin. “I understand. Another time?”
Sebastian smiles at Kurt and gives him a wink.
“Of course,” he says, looking as warmed by Kurt needing reassurance that there will be a next time as Sebastian is giving it.
The pizza’s not from a chain restaurant, but a local Italian pizzeria not far from the beach, popular with vacationers and locals alike. It ends up being a really good pizza, Kurt has to admit (Sebastian says it’s because of the water), but he doesn’t like missing out on one of Sebastian’s handcrafted meals, and marks this as another in a small series of strikes against Julian, a tally that changes up and down every time Julian opens his mouth.
The three of them work their way through a large pizza as if they haven’t eaten in weeks. Kurt and Sebastian banter back and forth, debating the merits and deficits of the Warblers vs New Directions, rehashing old arguments, but mostly discussing some of the things Kurt can expect when Liv gets there and takes over planning the activities for the rest of their stay (not because Sebastian wants to turn over that responsibility, but because there’s really no way of stopping her). Julian contributes by jumping to Kurt’s defense during the argument portion of the conversation, then zones out when the subject changes to Liv and her military precision scheduling skills, dropping back in when there’s only crusts of the pizza left.
“So, what do you boys have planned for after dinner entertainment?” he asks. “Are you guys going to fuck some more? Because in that case, I should go to your room, Seb, and look for a good seat.”
“Julian…” Sebastian starts in the same warning tone he uses whenever Julian brings up their sex life - even if they only legitimately started having one in the last couple of days.
“Or were you thinking of going at it right here?” Julian continues. “Because, I won’t lie…that’s hot. It’ll give me something to visualize during Liv’s boring Pictionary tournaments.”
“Julian…” This one comes from Kurt, having his left hand crushed in Sebastian’s grip.
“Though might I suggest you guys switch it up a bit? Poor Kurt looks like he’s going to need a hernia pillow from now on.”
“How about we watch something on TV?” Kurt suggests, cutting the commentary short before Sebastian leaps for Julian’s throat, though Julian’s not wrong about the pillow. Not that Kurt cares. Kurt doesn’t know yet where Sebastian stands on the issue of Kurt topping him, but for now, even if he can’t sit comfortably, he’s not complaining, especially when Sebastian puts a pillow from the couch between his legs and gestures with a couple of playful pats for Kurt to join him.
The satellite has long since returned, but they break down and watch Top Gun - the vote 2 to 1, making Sebastian the odd-man out. (Julian leapt in and voted in favor of the minute he saw Sebastian vote against. He remembers firsthand how much Sebastian loathes that movie. That’s one of the main reasons Julian bought it the last time the satellite went out.) But halfway through the movie, Julian stands up, says, “It’s been fun, kiddos. Thanks for the ‘za, Seb. Always a pleasure, Kurt. See you guys tomorrow,” and leaves. Kurt and Sebastian share a look when they hear his Jag drive away, both curious what prompted him to leave and why (Sebastian less so, looking relieved to have his brother gone). Kurt has a theory, seeing as once the movie started Kurt and Sebastian became a little more interested in each other than in the plight of Maverick and Goose, and whether or not they’d make it to flight school.
Kurt was basically straddling Sebastian’s lap when Julian made his exit.
Perhaps Julian isn’t quite the voyeur he claims to be.
Or maybe it’s too hard being around two people in love when the one you love can’t be around.
But not for long, Kurt thinks, knowing that he’ll be face to face with Cooper again soon enough.
Once they figure out that Julian’s not coming back, they turn off the movie, clean up what’s left of dinner, and retreat back to their tent.
Undressing goes speedily now that any and all embarrassment is gone, the hurdle of possible rejection or biting ridicule no longer an issue. Kurt offers himself to Sebastian, and Sebastian buries himself inside his boyfriend. Kurt leans back against him, head on his shoulder, sighing with contentment and subdued ecstasy, absorbing Sebastian’s shallow thrusts and the sensual touch of the hands massaging his skin.
“Mmm…I think I could do just this for the rest of the night,” Kurt says, rolling his head on Sebastian’s shoulder to look him in the eyes.
“Really?” Sebastian answers with an excitement he’d normally crush, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t mind Kurt hearing it because this isn’t normal. Not for him. Making love (not fucking, but making love), being in love, getting the boy (not just any boy, the boy as far as he’s concerned), Sebastian is a stranger to these concepts. “Then we’ll do this all night.”
“You promise?” Kurt asks, sleep sneaking into the tone of his voice.
“I promise,” Sebastian says, cradling Kurt against him, making love to him slowly, not in any hurry to get to a destination, just enjoying the stops along the way. Kurt’s breathing becomes an even rhythm as he falls to sleep and Sebastian can barely believe that this - any of it - is real. He holds Kurt close, and inside Sebastian, deep, deep inside, old hurts finally begin to heal.