Ryan Seacrest in American Idol Season 10: A Pictorial History, Part Two
When we last saw our intrepid field agent Ryan Seacrest, he was darting around the country, comforting America's youth as their dreams were crushed, dancing with their mothers and bantering with their fathers. Let's see what our plucky young star does next!
Episode 8 - Ryan Seacrest in Hollywood Week: Sudden Death Round
It's Hollywood Week. J. Lo explains that it's about separating men from boys and women from girls and of all the ways to generically say "bring your A game", picking that one for the season that lowered the minimum age to the third trimester seems an odd choice.
But who cares?! Here's Ryan Seacrest and his new minion army!
Ryan and company kick off Hollywood with a team huddle that would kinda be cute even if it didn't start me thinking about them doing team huddles in past years and Simon grabbing Ryan's ass (and then want to write bad AUs where they are on a sports team for whatever sport makes guys wear really tight shorts (um, again)).
So I took this pic to joke about how Ryan likes Hollywood week because he gets to do a lot of shots like this where everybody looks incredibly wee. And I'd make that joke still, were I not incredibly distracted by the invisible flute Ryan's playing.
La la la, people we don't care about... Day Two!
Ryan's hand.
Not having enough jobs, Ryan decides to add usher and stagehand to his list.
You might think that after picking up a few more jobs, Ryan might give up one he did in auditions. Not our Ryan. He's still playing relationship counsellor to the same ex-couple from ages ago.
And again with some other couple.
The dude half of which is basically like "Ryan, you personally have been stomping on the dreams of children for 10 years. Do you now or have you ever had a soul?" and I'd transcribe Ryan's response but I'm overcome with the utter gorgeousness that is Ry.
Episode 9 - Ryan Seacrest (Not) in Hollywood Week: Group Round
Yeah... so while Ryan's lovely voice has been narrating and seguing and voiceovering and whatnot the whole episode, his first actual (and incredibly brief) on screen appearance doesn't happen until twenty-eight and a half minutes (of Idol material, meaning like 45 mins with commercials) into the episode. This is just unacceptable.
Um, I guess some group drama happened before that? I don't know. What I do know is that at 30 mins in, the Brittenum twins from season 5 have still had more air time than Ryan. Damn you, Nigel Lythgoe!
Finally, we see Ryan doing what he does best.
He also talks to people so horrible I don't want to rewatch their bit 5 more times just to see if it's possible to get a cap where Ryan's not blinking. There's gotta be better Ryan offerings to come.
Ryan, bent over.
No comment.
Steven Tyler screams in Ryan's face.
(It's entirely possible that this picture makes me want Ryan to be on the Muppet Show.)
Okay, so, heh. I got a picture of a similar situation in the previous screencapping extravaganza, but this brings me SO MUCH JOY so you guys get to see more of the same. Ryan's adventures in suit/mic pack incompatibility.
These pics make me wonder what kind of tail Ryan would have if Ryan were to have a tail. A little short, stumpy one? A long furry one? One that curls up like a squirrel's? A horse's tail all fussily plaited with ribbons? I want to know. Um, seriously, discuss this at length with me in comments, k?
Hee! Ryan saying "all y'all"!
Some group is not so good and Ryan's all "...really?"
And another group is made up of stage moms and Ryan dances with all of them.
It's break time and Ryan explains to the camera that while the contents of this episode span less than 24 hours, they have 5 years of footage and will be airing it all for our viewing pleasure and this episode will never be ending ever.
Adorable, talented fat kid bawling his eyes out over the fact that not only has he made it through to another round, but that there are also people out there who are cheering him on and standing up for him. You'd better believe Ryan is there for that. Basically this is Ryan Seacrest's bat signal.
So couple's therapy turns into group therapy and it's immediately clear that Ryan cannot save this disaster and if the exes have a reunion in their future, it will not be happening on teevee.
There. Survived Group Round for another year.
Episode 10 - Ryan Seacrest in Hollywood Week: Solo Round
Ryan starts by introducing Michael and company, the AI backing band that the hopefuls can use for this round. (I thought Michael left this year? Maybe that was just Ricky?)
Ryan is pretty on stage.
A few people sing and are good. A few people sing and are bad and try to blame it all on Michael. Brief clip of Ryan going over to Michael all "so, some of the hopefuls are assholes, huh?" and Michael, who gets maybe 30 seconds of screen time a season but without fail that 30 seconds is of Idols being mean to him and him being very awesome with the "right, but tomorrow I'll still have a job on a hit show because of my musical abilities while you will be forgotten", glares at Ryan with a gloriously campy "bitch, don't even start."
Ryan discusses some dude's very large instrument.
Ryan doing a cute walk and talk.
Man, these eps are really Ryan scarce. One more and then we're at the live eps? Or are the semis not live this season and there's still many to go before Ryan actually gets to get his host on? Sigh.
Episode 11 - Ryan goes to Vegas to Help Simon House Hunt and Idol Decides They Might As Well Shoot an Episode While He's There
I mean, I'm just assuming. Why else would they make up a random new round in a random city if not to check in on Simon?
Hi, Ryan!
Ooh, Byrd is back! I thought she'd also left this season. Maybe just because Simon leaving felt like 98% of the non-Ryan portion of the show left?
People who have never heard a Beatles song. A lot of them. I don't understand! I mean, I was born after they split up too, so I really fail to see how that can be an excuse. I wonder if we've just crossed a line in terms of parent age? Hmm. Actually, yeah, maybe. My mom was 12ish when they had their first North American tv performance and was fully on board with Beatlemania during her teens. Her being a fan in her childhood led to the Beatles being played a fair amount in my childhood. People 10-15 years younger than my mom could easily be too young to have any exposure to the Beatles when they were together but their parents too old to have been huge fans. I think most of the current hopefuls probably have parents born post-Beatles breakup. Weird.
Okay, but also. Seriously? Never heard a Beatles song? They are featured just about every season of Idol, they are covered all over the place and are on many movie soundtracks, not to mention Across the Universe was only a few years ago, plus Glee. What is wrong with America's youth?
As the sole person connected with the show old enough to actually remember the Beatles, Steven Tyler gathers some kids (and Ry) around and tries to explain that, yes, those old and half-dead dudes would have brought twitter to its knees faster than Bieber back in the day. ... Wait, I think that maybe doesn't read how I meant that to read. More popular than Bieber, is what I mean. Not Bieber would have offered Lennon a BJ. Yeah, I need to stop talking and just take pics.
Holy crap, what is going on? Red couches? Coke ads covering the entire set? Is this season one?!
Doing what he does.
Some girl decides that what we all want to see is somebody have a mental collapse on camera (of course, this was all filmed and aired pre-Sheen so joke's on us because I guess we do) but what's even better is that this breakdown is sponsored by Coke.
I count 6 bottles at least partially visible, another 5 that are blocked from view but can be inferred from the pattern, and two tv screens showing branded swirls. But the best thing is that somebody looked at that and thought "I'm not sure viewers will understand that this is a Coke Moment Sponsored By Coke, so maybe we should add a brand chryon to the whole segment." Actually, now that I've noticed that the "table" centre in a car tire, I wonder why there isn't a little Ford Focus driving the Coke logo all across the screen during these interviews.
Hee! This was super cute but really fast and I have no idea what it's about but Ryan and Impossibly Low Voice guy do this quick jazz hand-y thing that's maybe Ryan asking if the guy's hands are shaking from nerves or maybe them playing air piano but possibly actual jazz hands.
Serious!Ry tells us it's time to cut more people.
Then I guess we're out of Vegas? And the intro credits again? I guess this is two eps airing back to back instead of a two-hour ep. You know? Vegas was kind of cool. It was a nice change to see the hopefuls play around props and staging and theatrics at this stage. Usually it's nothing but a choice of five screensavers from 1996 to use as a backdrop until we reach the finals (at which point five more screensavers are added to the list of options (unless you're Adam Lambert)).
So Ryan shows us the long walk the hopefuls will be taking one by one up to find out if they make the semis. Are they even calling them semis this year? I'm so lost. To find out if they make the top 24.
The walk ends on a small stage sitting opposite the judges where they tell you your fate.
I'm only one hopeful in, but I think I like the set up they're using here. Showing a clip of one person's post-Vegas solo and then going right to them in front of the judges at a later date. When there's a whole bunch of singing and then a whole bunch of cuts, it's hard to match up who's going through with their performance.
Ryan claps as the first person makes it through to the top 24.
People get cut. Ryan is there.
This Ryan Grips a Dude Tightly As He Celebrates Getting Through Moment has been brought to you by Ford Focus.
Ford Focus, drive one today.
Ryan playing escort.
Too fast to clip, but Ryan is adorable escorting her back out again.
People get cut. People make it through. Ryan touches them all.
Oh, man, I was so totally tricked into thinking this episode would finish a round or something but now there's a TBC on screen and we only know maybe like 5 of the top 24 which means I have to watch at least one more ep before I'm at a good place to break. Damn you, show. I was counting on wrapping this ep and posting and then taking a sanity break from Idol for at least a week. I'm not sure Ryan appreciates how much I'd rather be watching Generation Kill than another ep of Idol right now.
Wait! Over the credits! Some girl picks Ryan up and spins him and then totally falls down with him on top of her and I have no idea who this girl is but she's now my favourite person ever and, yeah, okay, we can do another episode if I can find out who that was.
Episode 12 - Ryan Seacrest and the Top 24
Ryan starts out playing director.
And being adorable with this happy/nervous girl.
Lotsa hugging and touching.
Brought to you by Ford.
Okay, it's the girl who ended up with Ryan on top of her! And she's not someone that I was actively hating up to this point, so I'm happy having her as my new fave.
And then there's the Ry incident that I'll screencap the hell out of but will leave the recapping to the pros.
Take it away, TWoP!Jacob: "So then J. Lo fakes her out and puts her through, and she nearly drags Ryan down to the floor on top of her, and then they both freeze because it's wicked inappropriate, and then they both feel like total jackasses and retreat to corners as far away from each other as possible, and it's incredibly cute. They're going to be fun to watch."
What he said.
Her take: "Oh my god! That was almost really bad!"
Here are many pics depicting the wonder of that.
That was awesome. (Although with that many pics, I probably should have just gif'ed the thing.)
Okay, Ryan and this season's two cowboys hang in the Coke Room of Coke. John Wayne (of John Wayne's dad's belt's buckle fame) tries to do Ryan's "THIS. is aMERican idol" enunciation and fails so then Ryan instructs John Wayne on how to be more like Ryan. Speak higher is among Ryan's tips. Somewhere, John Wayne's dad's belt's buckle stirs and no one knows why.
Then Ryan tries to sing country and it is awful and yet the best of all things at the same time.
John Wayne gets the cut and thankfully we never have to think about his dad ever again.
The dude still best known for taking his shirt off at his audition... lets Ryan examine the inside of his jacket? I have no idea.
Grandmas, man. Okay, so there's this girl who's been auditioning 5 times now?
While she goes in, Ryan chills with her mom and grandma. Grandma starts touching Ryan all over (out of concern, not pervy) all "are you losing weight?!" and the look on Ryan's face is all "adopt me!" and she's like "you look like a teenager now" and he's all :-D and she gives him a "do we need to sit down and talk about eating disorders?" look so Ryan's all "... do you think I should put on a few pounds?" and she tells him "no, you are beautiful just as you are" and he's all, wait, how do I make a smiley face that has rainbows coming out of it? Anyway, he is the happiest of all and asks if she has plans later and pretends to be all flirty about it but really his plans would be him standing in front of a mirror and sticking his belly way out and being all "are you sure I'm not fat?" and her saying "no, you are beautiful. please don't try to lose weight" and him being "so, sometimes I get insecure about-" and she cuts him off all "I don't think you understand how amazing you are at being you" and he'd say "I don't understand how I'm making such a mess of my public personal life and I feel trapped by the decisions I made a decade ago but don't feel able to backtrack on" and she'd say "you have to stay true to yourself" and then the very next day he'd bump whoever off Oprah so he could have a big coming out episode and then like a week later he'd be spotted walking hand in hand with Simon wearing wedding bands.
Then the girl gets through and while her mom deals with her, grandma turns to Ryan and tells him again that he is trufax magic and should not forget it and Ryan's like "what if I call up Simon and you just sit beside me and hold my hand?"
*hearts*
All smiles.
Remember the Ford Focus Tire Table from the Coke Room of Coke? Ryan is jumping up and down on it like a trampoline? I don't know.
Hee! Ryan goes for a high five, dude goes for a hug. It's briefly awkward but they sort it out.
So this dude, I'm pretty over him as a concept.
Except then he gets through and is shrieking with joy so much that Ryan goes to investigate. And he's still in "EEEEEEEE!!!!!" mode when Ryan gets to him so he picks up Ryan spins him for roughly 30 minutes without stopping.
Except then his spinning Ryan suddenly leads to him having his hands on Ryan's boxers?
And then Ryan's shirt is like half off?
He finally puts Ryan down.
But he still has tons of energy to burn so he challenges Ryan to a race.
Ryan talks about how long the day has been.
He's telling us? They're about... 10 hours into this day? Okay, that's long. But we're on hour 4 of watching this one day. I swear, this show is rapidly approaching "the Idols did this activity for one hour. Here is 5 hours worth of footage from that one hour" territory.
Guy I like gets through.
Finally we're approaching the end. Two girls left and Ryan informs them that they will be fighting to the death for the last spot.
Same deal with the guys except there will be three of them entering the thunderdome. Also, there is a lot of back and forth with Ryan where they all debate each other's relative ability to count to 3.
And we're done and Ryan says goodnight.
Oh, wait, the summary of who's through. Ok, I am down to liking 1.75 boys (actually, I like one, am down to about 50% on another I used to like, and a third that's down to 25% and about to be cut from my list if he doesn't watch it) and, hmm, I think I like 1 girl and am on the fence for about 5 others. Not bad, but there should really be more likeable people at this stage, I think.
Live eps? Are we finally at the live eps now? I don't care. I'm going to watch Generation Kill.
Episode 8 - Ryan Seacrest in Hollywood Week: Sudden Death Round
It's Hollywood Week. J. Lo explains that it's about separating men from boys and women from girls and of all the ways to generically say "bring your A game", picking that one for the season that lowered the minimum age to the third trimester seems an odd choice.
But who cares?! Here's Ryan Seacrest and his new minion army!
Ryan and company kick off Hollywood with a team huddle that would kinda be cute even if it didn't start me thinking about them doing team huddles in past years and Simon grabbing Ryan's ass (and then want to write bad AUs where they are on a sports team for whatever sport makes guys wear really tight shorts (um, again)).
So I took this pic to joke about how Ryan likes Hollywood week because he gets to do a lot of shots like this where everybody looks incredibly wee. And I'd make that joke still, were I not incredibly distracted by the invisible flute Ryan's playing.
La la la, people we don't care about... Day Two!
Ryan's hand.
Not having enough jobs, Ryan decides to add usher and stagehand to his list.
You might think that after picking up a few more jobs, Ryan might give up one he did in auditions. Not our Ryan. He's still playing relationship counsellor to the same ex-couple from ages ago.
And again with some other couple.
The dude half of which is basically like "Ryan, you personally have been stomping on the dreams of children for 10 years. Do you now or have you ever had a soul?" and I'd transcribe Ryan's response but I'm overcome with the utter gorgeousness that is Ry.
Episode 9 - Ryan Seacrest (Not) in Hollywood Week: Group Round
Yeah... so while Ryan's lovely voice has been narrating and seguing and voiceovering and whatnot the whole episode, his first actual (and incredibly brief) on screen appearance doesn't happen until twenty-eight and a half minutes (of Idol material, meaning like 45 mins with commercials) into the episode. This is just unacceptable.
Um, I guess some group drama happened before that? I don't know. What I do know is that at 30 mins in, the Brittenum twins from season 5 have still had more air time than Ryan. Damn you, Nigel Lythgoe!
Finally, we see Ryan doing what he does best.
He also talks to people so horrible I don't want to rewatch their bit 5 more times just to see if it's possible to get a cap where Ryan's not blinking. There's gotta be better Ryan offerings to come.
Ryan, bent over.
No comment.
Steven Tyler screams in Ryan's face.
(It's entirely possible that this picture makes me want Ryan to be on the Muppet Show.)
Okay, so, heh. I got a picture of a similar situation in the previous screencapping extravaganza, but this brings me SO MUCH JOY so you guys get to see more of the same. Ryan's adventures in suit/mic pack incompatibility.
These pics make me wonder what kind of tail Ryan would have if Ryan were to have a tail. A little short, stumpy one? A long furry one? One that curls up like a squirrel's? A horse's tail all fussily plaited with ribbons? I want to know. Um, seriously, discuss this at length with me in comments, k?
Hee! Ryan saying "all y'all"!
Some group is not so good and Ryan's all "...really?"
And another group is made up of stage moms and Ryan dances with all of them.
It's break time and Ryan explains to the camera that while the contents of this episode span less than 24 hours, they have 5 years of footage and will be airing it all for our viewing pleasure and this episode will never be ending ever.
Adorable, talented fat kid bawling his eyes out over the fact that not only has he made it through to another round, but that there are also people out there who are cheering him on and standing up for him. You'd better believe Ryan is there for that. Basically this is Ryan Seacrest's bat signal.
So couple's therapy turns into group therapy and it's immediately clear that Ryan cannot save this disaster and if the exes have a reunion in their future, it will not be happening on teevee.
There. Survived Group Round for another year.
Episode 10 - Ryan Seacrest in Hollywood Week: Solo Round
Ryan starts by introducing Michael and company, the AI backing band that the hopefuls can use for this round. (I thought Michael left this year? Maybe that was just Ricky?)
Ryan is pretty on stage.
A few people sing and are good. A few people sing and are bad and try to blame it all on Michael. Brief clip of Ryan going over to Michael all "so, some of the hopefuls are assholes, huh?" and Michael, who gets maybe 30 seconds of screen time a season but without fail that 30 seconds is of Idols being mean to him and him being very awesome with the "right, but tomorrow I'll still have a job on a hit show because of my musical abilities while you will be forgotten", glares at Ryan with a gloriously campy "bitch, don't even start."
Ryan discusses some dude's very large instrument.
Ryan doing a cute walk and talk.
Man, these eps are really Ryan scarce. One more and then we're at the live eps? Or are the semis not live this season and there's still many to go before Ryan actually gets to get his host on? Sigh.
Episode 11 - Ryan goes to Vegas to Help Simon House Hunt and Idol Decides They Might As Well Shoot an Episode While He's There
I mean, I'm just assuming. Why else would they make up a random new round in a random city if not to check in on Simon?
Hi, Ryan!
Ooh, Byrd is back! I thought she'd also left this season. Maybe just because Simon leaving felt like 98% of the non-Ryan portion of the show left?
People who have never heard a Beatles song. A lot of them. I don't understand! I mean, I was born after they split up too, so I really fail to see how that can be an excuse. I wonder if we've just crossed a line in terms of parent age? Hmm. Actually, yeah, maybe. My mom was 12ish when they had their first North American tv performance and was fully on board with Beatlemania during her teens. Her being a fan in her childhood led to the Beatles being played a fair amount in my childhood. People 10-15 years younger than my mom could easily be too young to have any exposure to the Beatles when they were together but their parents too old to have been huge fans. I think most of the current hopefuls probably have parents born post-Beatles breakup. Weird.
Okay, but also. Seriously? Never heard a Beatles song? They are featured just about every season of Idol, they are covered all over the place and are on many movie soundtracks, not to mention Across the Universe was only a few years ago, plus Glee. What is wrong with America's youth?
As the sole person connected with the show old enough to actually remember the Beatles, Steven Tyler gathers some kids (and Ry) around and tries to explain that, yes, those old and half-dead dudes would have brought twitter to its knees faster than Bieber back in the day. ... Wait, I think that maybe doesn't read how I meant that to read. More popular than Bieber, is what I mean. Not Bieber would have offered Lennon a BJ. Yeah, I need to stop talking and just take pics.
Holy crap, what is going on? Red couches? Coke ads covering the entire set? Is this season one?!
Doing what he does.
Some girl decides that what we all want to see is somebody have a mental collapse on camera (of course, this was all filmed and aired pre-Sheen so joke's on us because I guess we do) but what's even better is that this breakdown is sponsored by Coke.
I count 6 bottles at least partially visible, another 5 that are blocked from view but can be inferred from the pattern, and two tv screens showing branded swirls. But the best thing is that somebody looked at that and thought "I'm not sure viewers will understand that this is a Coke Moment Sponsored By Coke, so maybe we should add a brand chryon to the whole segment." Actually, now that I've noticed that the "table" centre in a car tire, I wonder why there isn't a little Ford Focus driving the Coke logo all across the screen during these interviews.
Hee! This was super cute but really fast and I have no idea what it's about but Ryan and Impossibly Low Voice guy do this quick jazz hand-y thing that's maybe Ryan asking if the guy's hands are shaking from nerves or maybe them playing air piano but possibly actual jazz hands.
Serious!Ry tells us it's time to cut more people.
Then I guess we're out of Vegas? And the intro credits again? I guess this is two eps airing back to back instead of a two-hour ep. You know? Vegas was kind of cool. It was a nice change to see the hopefuls play around props and staging and theatrics at this stage. Usually it's nothing but a choice of five screensavers from 1996 to use as a backdrop until we reach the finals (at which point five more screensavers are added to the list of options (unless you're Adam Lambert)).
So Ryan shows us the long walk the hopefuls will be taking one by one up to find out if they make the semis. Are they even calling them semis this year? I'm so lost. To find out if they make the top 24.
The walk ends on a small stage sitting opposite the judges where they tell you your fate.
I'm only one hopeful in, but I think I like the set up they're using here. Showing a clip of one person's post-Vegas solo and then going right to them in front of the judges at a later date. When there's a whole bunch of singing and then a whole bunch of cuts, it's hard to match up who's going through with their performance.
Ryan claps as the first person makes it through to the top 24.
People get cut. Ryan is there.
This Ryan Grips a Dude Tightly As He Celebrates Getting Through Moment has been brought to you by Ford Focus.
Ford Focus, drive one today.
Ryan playing escort.
Too fast to clip, but Ryan is adorable escorting her back out again.
People get cut. People make it through. Ryan touches them all.
Oh, man, I was so totally tricked into thinking this episode would finish a round or something but now there's a TBC on screen and we only know maybe like 5 of the top 24 which means I have to watch at least one more ep before I'm at a good place to break. Damn you, show. I was counting on wrapping this ep and posting and then taking a sanity break from Idol for at least a week. I'm not sure Ryan appreciates how much I'd rather be watching Generation Kill than another ep of Idol right now.
Wait! Over the credits! Some girl picks Ryan up and spins him and then totally falls down with him on top of her and I have no idea who this girl is but she's now my favourite person ever and, yeah, okay, we can do another episode if I can find out who that was.
Episode 12 - Ryan Seacrest and the Top 24
Ryan starts out playing director.
And being adorable with this happy/nervous girl.
Lotsa hugging and touching.
Brought to you by Ford.
Okay, it's the girl who ended up with Ryan on top of her! And she's not someone that I was actively hating up to this point, so I'm happy having her as my new fave.
And then there's the Ry incident that I'll screencap the hell out of but will leave the recapping to the pros.
Take it away, TWoP!Jacob: "So then J. Lo fakes her out and puts her through, and she nearly drags Ryan down to the floor on top of her, and then they both freeze because it's wicked inappropriate, and then they both feel like total jackasses and retreat to corners as far away from each other as possible, and it's incredibly cute. They're going to be fun to watch."
What he said.
Her take: "Oh my god! That was almost really bad!"
Here are many pics depicting the wonder of that.
That was awesome. (Although with that many pics, I probably should have just gif'ed the thing.)
Okay, Ryan and this season's two cowboys hang in the Coke Room of Coke. John Wayne (of John Wayne's dad's belt's buckle fame) tries to do Ryan's "THIS. is aMERican idol" enunciation and fails so then Ryan instructs John Wayne on how to be more like Ryan. Speak higher is among Ryan's tips. Somewhere, John Wayne's dad's belt's buckle stirs and no one knows why.
Then Ryan tries to sing country and it is awful and yet the best of all things at the same time.
John Wayne gets the cut and thankfully we never have to think about his dad ever again.
The dude still best known for taking his shirt off at his audition... lets Ryan examine the inside of his jacket? I have no idea.
Grandmas, man. Okay, so there's this girl who's been auditioning 5 times now?
While she goes in, Ryan chills with her mom and grandma. Grandma starts touching Ryan all over (out of concern, not pervy) all "are you losing weight?!" and the look on Ryan's face is all "adopt me!" and she's like "you look like a teenager now" and he's all :-D and she gives him a "do we need to sit down and talk about eating disorders?" look so Ryan's all "... do you think I should put on a few pounds?" and she tells him "no, you are beautiful just as you are" and he's all, wait, how do I make a smiley face that has rainbows coming out of it? Anyway, he is the happiest of all and asks if she has plans later and pretends to be all flirty about it but really his plans would be him standing in front of a mirror and sticking his belly way out and being all "are you sure I'm not fat?" and her saying "no, you are beautiful. please don't try to lose weight" and him being "so, sometimes I get insecure about-" and she cuts him off all "I don't think you understand how amazing you are at being you" and he'd say "I don't understand how I'm making such a mess of my public personal life and I feel trapped by the decisions I made a decade ago but don't feel able to backtrack on" and she'd say "you have to stay true to yourself" and then the very next day he'd bump whoever off Oprah so he could have a big coming out episode and then like a week later he'd be spotted walking hand in hand with Simon wearing wedding bands.
Then the girl gets through and while her mom deals with her, grandma turns to Ryan and tells him again that he is trufax magic and should not forget it and Ryan's like "what if I call up Simon and you just sit beside me and hold my hand?"
*hearts*
All smiles.
Remember the Ford Focus Tire Table from the Coke Room of Coke? Ryan is jumping up and down on it like a trampoline? I don't know.
Hee! Ryan goes for a high five, dude goes for a hug. It's briefly awkward but they sort it out.
So this dude, I'm pretty over him as a concept.
Except then he gets through and is shrieking with joy so much that Ryan goes to investigate. And he's still in "EEEEEEEE!!!!!" mode when Ryan gets to him so he picks up Ryan spins him for roughly 30 minutes without stopping.
Except then his spinning Ryan suddenly leads to him having his hands on Ryan's boxers?
And then Ryan's shirt is like half off?
He finally puts Ryan down.
But he still has tons of energy to burn so he challenges Ryan to a race.
Ryan talks about how long the day has been.
He's telling us? They're about... 10 hours into this day? Okay, that's long. But we're on hour 4 of watching this one day. I swear, this show is rapidly approaching "the Idols did this activity for one hour. Here is 5 hours worth of footage from that one hour" territory.
Guy I like gets through.
Finally we're approaching the end. Two girls left and Ryan informs them that they will be fighting to the death for the last spot.
Same deal with the guys except there will be three of them entering the thunderdome. Also, there is a lot of back and forth with Ryan where they all debate each other's relative ability to count to 3.
And we're done and Ryan says goodnight.
Oh, wait, the summary of who's through. Ok, I am down to liking 1.75 boys (actually, I like one, am down to about 50% on another I used to like, and a third that's down to 25% and about to be cut from my list if he doesn't watch it) and, hmm, I think I like 1 girl and am on the fence for about 5 others. Not bad, but there should really be more likeable people at this stage, I think.
Live eps? Are we finally at the live eps now? I don't care. I'm going to watch Generation Kill.