Comments | fierceawakening: *sigh*

fierceawakening

sigh

Apr 20, 2009 00:47

I've never hid that I've survived some awful shit, but I do refuse to be dehumanized as walking wounded and nothing more (see, in particular, list item 13 and those following it.)

I refuse to accept that my relationship with someone who loves me very much is a deformity.

That is all I have to say.

(And now I exhort those who can to read the good news ( Read more... )

ptsd

Comments 32

lilairen April 20 2009, 05:09:14 UTC

I'ma run off and fisk at that a wee bit, I am.

And your fandom is still full of yay. ;)

fierceawakening April 20 2009, 05:12:39 UTC

I'ma run off and fisk at that a wee bit, I am.

I about lost it when I got to this:

But is this a benign escape? By definition, “CEO subs” have positions of authority in “real life”, and often have dominating and authoritarian personalities. And we know that authority is often oppressive. The boss, the patriarch, the banker, the politician. The most famous “CEO sub” was Hitler, the genocidal dictator. Do we really want to take the pressure off people in authoritarian roles like this? Isn’t that just enabling them?

PROOF, PLZ?

That's not just a Godwin, that's like... a triple Godwin with sprinkles. WHUT

And your fandom is still full of yay. ;)

I know. I'm so stunned I've been half-crying with yay all day.

lilairen April 20 2009, 05:25:16 UTC

Yeah, I'm working my way through it in prep, and some of it is ... too ... crazy ... to fisk.

I mean, belledame might be able to pull it off, but I don't have a good enough parser for this level of total wack. I'm left with a, "Do you actually know any actual people?" sort of feeling.

Your yay is truly amazing. I am very happy for you.

fierceawakening April 20 2009, 05:28:35 UTC

Your yay is truly amazing. I am very happy for you.

Thank you. I am... awed.

Thread 5

(The comment has been removed)

fierceawakening April 20 2009, 15:38:07 UTC

I know. Once you get over how TL;DR it is and actually read it, it just... it outdoes itself, really.

Hitler?

WHAT?

alexandraerin April 20 2009, 14:45:30 UTC

I'm amused at the thought that my gynophagic fantasies are being given a pass except to the extent that they involve pain and domination. I'd ask them to clarify this point but I'm afraid of what would happen if they became aware of gynophagia as a fetish, and even more so if they conflated it with BDSM since the "worst" examples always seem to be assumed to represent the mainstream, or to represent what the mainstream is just barely repressing.

candidevoltaire April 20 2009, 05:24:51 UTC

I love how they claim to be sex-positive and then uncritically quote Melissa Farley. Because we all know how sex-positive she is. And, yeah, Hitler as "CEO sub" for the triple Godwin score. Plus, the usual fact-free claims about abuse and PTSD and all that. Reads like old radfems, new labels.

fierceawakening April 20 2009, 05:27:42 UTC

Oh yeah, see sidebar: Radical Feminist group linked there, and it LOOKS to me like the founder of that "sex-positives against bdsm" site is a member there. She definitely solicits membership there.

Which, y'know, there's no terrible divide that says someone can't think MacKinnon had a point and be sex-positive, but something makes that smell fishy to me. I don't think all radical feminists are obnoxious like this, but some of them... gyah, my head.

candidevoltaire April 20 2009, 06:03:40 UTC

Her post in the RadFem group where she solicits people to join the sex-positives against bdsm makes it clear that she is "reclaiming" sex-positive as a term for use by radfems and thus turning the understood meaning of sex-positive on its head. To quote her: "that's right, i'm reclaiming the term sex-positive! as if being anti-dominating-sex or anti-exploitative-sex, etc. were being anti-sex overall!!!" Just, no.

fierceawakening April 20 2009, 15:38:49 UTC

I think the word she's looking for there is "co-opting."

lilairen April 20 2009, 05:30:48 UTC

Oh, for fuck's sake, is this Nine Deuce? It's citing craigslist personals ads.

I give up. I cannot do justice to this bullshit.

fierceawakening April 20 2009, 05:33:09 UTC

I don't think it's her. She has it linked on her blog but I don't think it's her.

She's annoying, but I don't think she'd stoop so low as to link her own sock like that.

fierceawakening April 20 2009, 05:34:29 UTC

And I'd love to see you fisk its soul apart but if you don't have the patience/spoons, I get that.

lilairen April 20 2009, 05:55:17 UTC

I prodded a few bits at sm-f, at least.

spiralgirl1 April 20 2009, 05:56:12 UTC

As we say in Mary Kay "If someone isn't taking your bills to the mail box, don't take theirs to the bank." (It makes more sense in a business context, but it also makes sense in other aspects of life.) Their bullet points about discussing why it's problematic for someone who is of a certain personality type IRL engaging in a certain type of consensual sex is ludicrous. If someone isn't taking my orgasm to the "mail box" (gigidy), I certainly won't be taking their opinions anywhere. I mean, sure, some people are psychologically or emotionally damaged and probably shouldn't be engaging in certain play, but is that really a suitable topic for discussion? I was emotionally abused as a child, but I don't need a third party discussing that with 4th and 5th party persons in order to come to a conclusion about how I handle myself in the bedroom. I mean, for fuck's sake, my emotional damage and how it relates to my kinkiness is between me and my partner ( ... )

fierceawakening April 20 2009, 05:59:14 UTC

kind of rude and nosy

Rudeness and nosyness are hardly of any concern! We're saving souls liberating women, here! Stop talking about your little fee-fees!

It's my party, I'll act rude if I want to, poke and prod if I waaaant to...

spiralgirl1 April 20 2009, 07:11:12 UTC

That's just the thing, isn't it? These anti-BDSM people make the sex lives of people who are into BDSM all about them... I have been re-learning lately that when you make someone else's issues about you, you're throwing your privilege around. We all need to check our privilege once in a while, but these people really just need to shut the hell up and take a step back into their own sex lives for a while.

roykay April 20 2009, 17:23:19 UTC

>You can't help people who don't want help.

Well, you can badger and belittle and dismiss them, and if you are lucky, you will have them beat down enough that they will look to you for whatever salvation you offer. THEN have them "seek help", preferably with one of your buddies. Also pat yourself on the back for being such a grace. Then use them to promote yourself.

As long as you can avoid having a core respect for people and have desire to control them, lots of things are possible.