Adventures in Literature, Wednesday, Period Three [Class Six]
Drake had recreated the walls of Troy around his desk this morning. Whether it was purely for atmosphere or to protect himself from Karla was anyone's guess. He was also snapping his fingers to change the attire of each student as they arrived so that everyone looked much like the cast of Troy, only with less oily muscles and abs because Drake didn't have a death wish, thank you very much. There was also a large wooden horse tucked in a corner with a sign around its neck saying "There are no Greeks here, move along."
"If you read the Iliad or the Spark Notes," Drake began, "you're probably expecting a lecture about the major themes of the Iliad, including kleos, meaning glory earned in heroic battle, or the concepts of wrath or fate. If you watched Troy, you're probably wondering if Patroclus and Achilles were really just cousins." He paused. "OK, that second one I'll answer -- they were cousins all right, but more than just kissing ones, if you know what I mean. Brad was just afraid if he started kissing boys on screen that Angie would like it too much. Anyway! I'm going to skip over that first part, though, and get down to the main theme of the Iliad: men are dumb.
"The Iliad, as told by Homer, covers the last year of the Trojan War. This war began after Eris, the Goddess of Discord, decided to shake things up by making a golden apple inscribed 'For the Fairest.' The goddesses Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite all laid claim to it, and Zeus wisely decided he didn't want to get into the middle of that heavenly catfight. So he picked Paris, a prince of Troy, to decide who got the apple. Each of the goddesses tried to bribe Paris -- Hera offered to make him a king, Athena offered wisdom and skill in warfare, and Aphrodite offered him the love of the most beautiful woman in the world, who just happened to be Helen, wife of King Menelaus of Sparta. Paris was thinking with something other than his head and chose Aphrodite -- who should've won anyway without bribery, being the Goddess of Love and Beauty, but hey, I didn't write the thing.
"So in one fell swoop, Paris pissed off two goddesses and the entire Greek kingdom, kidnapped a woman, and started a war that lasted ten years and ended with his father and brother being killed and his kingdom destroyed. Dumbass is not a strong enough word. I'm all for love and fighting for it, but this really can't be called a love story. And to be fair, Paris wasn't the only dumbass in the story. The Iliad starts with a priest of Apollo, Chryses, demanding the return of his daughter, Chryseis, who Agamemnon had claimed as a war prize. Aggie refused to give her up, so Apollo came to his priest's aid and inflicted a plague on the Greeks. Achilles compelled Agamemnon to return Chryseis, so in a fit of pique Aggie took Briseis, Achilles’s war-prize concubine, for himself, causing Achilles to withdraw from the war. Then Patroclus dresses himself up as his cousin to lead his men into war and gets himself killed by Hector, Achilles kills Hector, there's a horse involved, Troy falls, he dies, she dies, everybody dies. And throughout the story, the sister of Paris and Hector, Cassandra, keeps trying to tell them they're all going to die, but no one believes her because Apollo cursed her when she rejected him.
"So for today's discussion, you can either go back to the beginning and put yourself in Paris's place: what do you do with the apple?" He snapped his fingers and conjured up a trio of women in white gowns. "Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera await your decision. Or you can pick a character and either justify their actions or pick who you think that character believes to be the biggest idiot and why. Feel free to choose any character, except for two. Karla, you're Helen, and Gabrielle, you're Cassandra. Mostly because I think I'm funny."
[ Syllabus | Class Roster]
"If you read the Iliad or the Spark Notes," Drake began, "you're probably expecting a lecture about the major themes of the Iliad, including kleos, meaning glory earned in heroic battle, or the concepts of wrath or fate. If you watched Troy, you're probably wondering if Patroclus and Achilles were really just cousins." He paused. "OK, that second one I'll answer -- they were cousins all right, but more than just kissing ones, if you know what I mean. Brad was just afraid if he started kissing boys on screen that Angie would like it too much. Anyway! I'm going to skip over that first part, though, and get down to the main theme of the Iliad: men are dumb.
"The Iliad, as told by Homer, covers the last year of the Trojan War. This war began after Eris, the Goddess of Discord, decided to shake things up by making a golden apple inscribed 'For the Fairest.' The goddesses Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite all laid claim to it, and Zeus wisely decided he didn't want to get into the middle of that heavenly catfight. So he picked Paris, a prince of Troy, to decide who got the apple. Each of the goddesses tried to bribe Paris -- Hera offered to make him a king, Athena offered wisdom and skill in warfare, and Aphrodite offered him the love of the most beautiful woman in the world, who just happened to be Helen, wife of King Menelaus of Sparta. Paris was thinking with something other than his head and chose Aphrodite -- who should've won anyway without bribery, being the Goddess of Love and Beauty, but hey, I didn't write the thing.
"So in one fell swoop, Paris pissed off two goddesses and the entire Greek kingdom, kidnapped a woman, and started a war that lasted ten years and ended with his father and brother being killed and his kingdom destroyed. Dumbass is not a strong enough word. I'm all for love and fighting for it, but this really can't be called a love story. And to be fair, Paris wasn't the only dumbass in the story. The Iliad starts with a priest of Apollo, Chryses, demanding the return of his daughter, Chryseis, who Agamemnon had claimed as a war prize. Aggie refused to give her up, so Apollo came to his priest's aid and inflicted a plague on the Greeks. Achilles compelled Agamemnon to return Chryseis, so in a fit of pique Aggie took Briseis, Achilles’s war-prize concubine, for himself, causing Achilles to withdraw from the war. Then Patroclus dresses himself up as his cousin to lead his men into war and gets himself killed by Hector, Achilles kills Hector, there's a horse involved, Troy falls, he dies, she dies, everybody dies. And throughout the story, the sister of Paris and Hector, Cassandra, keeps trying to tell them they're all going to die, but no one believes her because Apollo cursed her when she rejected him.
"So for today's discussion, you can either go back to the beginning and put yourself in Paris's place: what do you do with the apple?" He snapped his fingers and conjured up a trio of women in white gowns. "Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera await your decision. Or you can pick a character and either justify their actions or pick who you think that character believes to be the biggest idiot and why. Feel free to choose any character, except for two. Karla, you're Helen, and Gabrielle, you're Cassandra. Mostly because I think I'm funny."
[ Syllabus | Class Roster]