Nae and Ben just walked in. I am on the couch reviewing documents ( Read more... )

today is memorial day so we are all home at 11 am. Patrick and I are sitting on our bed; I'm reviewing documents (done more than 1000 pages today so far!), Patrick is playing poker on his phone. Ben is sleeping downstairs. The children are wandering around playing ( Read more... )

Ben: Naomi found your forever stamps.
Me: did she.
Ben: only EIGHT of them.
Me: ok.
Ben: she also found some tic tacs that expired in 2007.
Me: did she eat them?
Ben: no. She taped them to things.

i have never been in favor of diets ( Read more... )

Ben just went to work. He works 12.5 hour shifts ( Read more... )

I'm cleaning all the bathrooms right now for the party. I'm on the kids' bathroom, which is covered in toothpaste.

Me: can I just ask again, why is there toothpaste in the bathtub?
Ben: oh, that isn't toothpaste....
Me: I don't think your cum is blue and sparkly.
Ben: I've been eating a lot of toothpaste.