HCL drabble, 500 words
Honesty is Overrated
Pairing: Joe/Billy
Rating: NC-17
Summary: If Joe Dick was honest with himself he knew that Hard Core Logo wasn't going anywhere.
Notes: Very strong language, and it's unbetaed as well, so be warned. Any corrections or criticism very welcome, by the way!
If Joe Dick was honest with himself he knew that Hard Core Logo wasn't going anywhere.
If he was honest about it he knew that Hard Core Logo wasn't going anywhere because he was stopping it from going anywhere. Because he was fucking up every chance they got of moving forward.
And if he was honest about that, he also knew why he was doing it, because he wanted it to be small. He wanted it to be intimate. He wanted to be able to have absolute control of the band with no managers or agents or any other bullshit people telling Pipefitter or Oxenberger or Billy that they really should lead the band, or that they were better than that.
Honesty: He didn't want no bullshit manager to tell Billy that he was too good for the band. Which he was.
Hard Core Logo was pretty great, but Billy was fucking brilliant. Billy was the shit. Billy was a motherfucking streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm.
And if Joe had to be honest, Billy was what kept Hard Core Logo together, because he had the talent and the ambition.
And fuck it, if he had to be completely honest about why Billy kept the band together it wasn't even because of his talent or ambition, but because Joe fucking needed him. He needed Billy because he wasn't Joe Dick if Billy Tallent wasn't there.
Which was a pretty skizo, fucked up conclusion to reach, but nevertheless.
Him and Billy had always been together. They'd started the band together. They'd done drugs together, they'd been in bar brawls, they'd been fucked over together, they'd fucked groupies together.
They'd fucked each other. Mostly when they were stoned or angry - always kind of detached, only half there.
Honesty, for fuck's sake: He didn't fuck Billy out of spite; he fucked Billy because he wanted to fuck him. He dug that queer bent stuff. But only with Billy.
And more goddamned rotten honesty: He knew that Billy didn't really go for it. He knew that Billy was doing it because he was in the habit of letting Joe get his way with everything, because once Joe Dick had been the shit, been the guy with the attitude.
Because William Boise had been the quiet, unhappy kid with the guitar and the suppressed anger, and he had been the one to drink vodka till he had to go to the ER, and slash his chest like Iggy Pop and wear a T-shirt that said: "I don't give a FUCK!" with no letters omitted.
He still had the attitude; he still didn't give a fuck about anything but Hard Core Logo and Billy. But looked like that wasn't what Billy really wanted or wanted to be anymore, and looked like he couldn't bully or fuck or manipulate him into staying much longer.
If he was honest with himself.
… Which he wasn't fucking about to, fuck you very much. No fucking way. Joe goddamned motherfucking Dick was never honest.